sevinnow Posted July 4, 2003 Share Posted July 4, 2003 Sooner or later I will make a "decent" woman out of my long term G/F, as we have been engaged for 2 years the subject of marriage is becoming an everyday subject. We will be married in her village in Issan and wonder anyone have first hand experience on what to expect in costs, ie monks, ceremony and catering for the family (and village). As I have a company registered in Pattaya I will be building a house in the village on land we have bought, everything in Company name, the house about 1 million baht. So bearing that in mind any idea's on the above? Regards Sev :cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John13 Posted July 6, 2003 Share Posted July 6, 2003 I got married in a village around Ubon in May to a village girl. Her father owns a farm and has addtional land. I am an American. We had a large wedding with a 4 piece bands and dancing girls. Her father arranged everything, the total cost including the monks ran 65,000 baht. I had also given members of her family some cash when they officially greeted me at the house, 500 each member of her family, and 200 to her first cousins. I had budgeted for more, but my wife suggest that amount. I paid 40,000 baht for the dowry. Afterward to registered the marriage at the Amphur and at her suggestion, gave a little "tip" to ensure the paperwork went smoothly and quickly, it still took a couple of hours. I arrived at the 40,000 baht figure for the dowry by figuring 3000 is a decent wage times 12 months is 36,000. That figure was accepted, but later my wife suggest I raise it to 40,000 baht, so I wouldn't be viewed as tightfisted. Hope that helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goofy Posted July 6, 2003 Share Posted July 6, 2003 How where you able to register your marriage at the amphur, i thought this was only done in BKK???? but the costs you have had are very much ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lopburi3 Posted July 6, 2003 Share Posted July 6, 2003 Any District Office in Thailand can and will register a marriage but you do first have to have the (good person) paper from your Embassy/translated/registered at Foreign Ministry. There is no need for any extra fees if you bring a person to act as your translator/witness and do not want the process done outside the office (they will for a small fee attend the party and do there if you arrange it). They may also check the paper you provide with the Foreign Ministry first to make sure so perhaps the tip mentioned was to speed this process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevinnow Posted July 6, 2003 Author Share Posted July 6, 2003 Thanks for your advice: How long did the whole thing take to organise? and about this good person thing do you need to this in order to register the marriage at the local amphur and could you get it in your home country (I am English) Embassy? Thanks again. Sev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benny Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 Congratulations Seven..... My wedding about a year ago went pretty smoothly. Costs were a little higher than the other posters mentioned, but I guess that a lot depends on the family of your wife to be. My wife's parents returned the dowry to me immediately after the wedding. The dowry expected from the father of my wife was initially 899,000 baht. I paid 699,999 (apparently 9 is a lucky number) but then after the ceremony her father gave me the full amount back so that we could use it for our future. In addition we split the cost of the wedding reception in half and also made a few baht from the generous gifts from her family. The only thing asked of me, and me alone, was to provide my wife with the necessary gold for show and to maintain face with her family and friends. Even my wife joked about this as it made her look more like BA Barracus than a dainty thai bride!! (This was v. expensive, but we took most of it back after) The paperwork was a real pain. I had to go to the British embassy in BKK and get the 'good-man' paperwork. From there my wife took it to the ministry of foreign affairs where it was certified accurate. Then the wedding and then to the amphur to make things official. The delay with the paperwork which happened at the Ministry was the most irritating part of the whole procedure. All in all it was a great day, we had friends and family from o/seas attend, who were v. unaccustomed to Thai ways, but they all seemed to have a great day. I hope that your wedding goes well!! Benny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevinnow Posted July 7, 2003 Author Share Posted July 7, 2003 Benny could you expain what this "good person" paperwork is all about and the content of what it say's? I have no police record or skeletons in the cuboard but have had a couple of credit card problems in the past(who hasn't) will this affect me? Regards Sev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolf5370 Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 Wow! Benny was that in Isaan too (as with the other posters above)? This is all completely different from my wedding 5 years ago in BKK. My wife, a daughter of a naval officer based in BKK, and I registered the marriage at the Amphur (used a service for this and cost about 7k Baht - they did all the paper work, translations and oiled the wheels in the right places I suppose - took about 30 minutes of form signing and about an hour of traffic jams on the journey to the Amphur! They also filed the visa application and lodged the marriage cert with the British Embassy - Visa costs were extra). We did this a week before the 'proper', family, wedding. I paid for the wedding dress - hand made silk and gold thread traditional costume. We hired the wedding jewlery which is mostly gold coloured a.n.other metal, the conche shell and wedding furniture (all except the jewlery from a local temple, the jewlery from a wedding costume maker who made the dress). Bought flowers, garlands, perfume etc. Bought banana leaves and spent a day with the grand parents making little tree type things (leaf-origami) which was quite fun. I also bought my own clothes for the occasion too. I paid for a party for all the local neighbours etc. No monks at the family wedding - it was run mainly by the family elders and my wife's parents. Other thyanh the engagement/wedding ring, this all cost a lot less than $1,000. My parent wanted no dowry, but I wanted to help so paid for all the above - also bought them some pressies (fridge etc) as a suprise. Guests gave US money in little envelopes - usually containing either 99 baht or 999 baht - this is for luck more than to buy anything with. We attended the Wat the next day to see the bishop. He 'blessed' our union and read my wifes palm and told her all the nice things she wanted to hear (her sister had her palm read too, and the message was far from pleasing, but another thread - suffice it to say the bishop was exceedingly close to the mark). Thai women wear gold as a statement of there wealth and position. I have never heard of having to buy a load for a wedding before - bet you made her centuary! Guests give money to the happy couple as well as tieing a cord around their wrists, pouring scented water over there hands and saying a little mantra or two. I have never heard of paying family and friend to come before! (the free food and drink and chance of some fun - sanuk - is usually enough!!!). Dowry is always a sticky subject, many farangs will not give anything out of principle. Many that do do because they believe it traditional and thus the right thing to do. I fall in to the latter group (when in Rome). However, most people in the pay-up group do not know anything about the 'tradition' and they go way overboard - usually helped along with a ridiculous suggestion from the fiance or her family. Only certain conditions warrant a dowry at all, no previous dowry paid, marriage (registered or not), children etc, virginity (although this may be a little too much to expect in today's world, a bar-girl/prostitute does not attract any dowry). The amount should be inkeeping with her position and the wealth/power she brings to the union. That is, if she's worth a mint and owns half of S?E Asia, then it'll cost you; if she comes from a poor Isaan rice farming family, then it should be suitably low. It is the ridiculous amounts that are given by 'uneducated' farangs that causes more ridiculous requests. I'm just waiting for someone to post a query as to what colour the wedding in-laws jet should be painted! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hukster Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 Hi guys, I am getting married the 10th of next month, in Surin Amphur Prasat. My fiance is arranging everything. We are not going to have a big wedding, about 30, 0r 40 people. Mostly family. The cost will be about 20,000 baht for food, and drink. No dancing girls. No dowry as her parents are deceased, although i did pay off all her loans at the tune of 83,000 baht, so you can say that's the dowry. We will be renting a house in Pattaya, and plan to buy in one year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benny Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 Hi Sev, I had to take a retyped copy of the following to the embassy in person for approval by the consul. The fee was about 2000 baht. http://www.britishemb.or.th/consular/affirmation.doc Following that it had to be translated into Thai and then I had to take it to the ministry of foreign affairs out by the airport. The british embassy website should answer all your questions. http://www.britishemb.or.th/consular/marriage.htm Cannot advise on Isaan, as we were married in BKK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hukster Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 Where did you get the affidavid translated at, and how much did it cost? Mine will have to be at the american embassy. Did they translate it the same day? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benny Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 translation took 2 or 3 days. Cost 1500 baht (had to get a special stamp or something, i cant remember). Organised translation through a language school in silom. Contact your embassy they will provide a list of reputable translation offices approved by the thai ministry etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hukster Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 Thanks Benny, Thats what i was afraid of. I have to get several documents translated ie divorce decree, and death certificate of my former wife. The divorce decree should be enough, but i want to cover all my bases. This means i will have to make at least 2 trips to Bangkok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevinnow Posted July 8, 2003 Author Share Posted July 8, 2003 Please could someone advise me if it is possible to have the marraige resistered outside Bangkok, say Pattaya as we plan to stay in Jomitian for a month, that would be more conveinent rather than the expense of travelling to Bangkok for a few days. And any experiences on that location would help. Regards Sev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hukster Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 You can only register at an amphur, and Pattaya does not have one. I believe there is one in Chonburri. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevinnow Posted July 8, 2003 Author Share Posted July 8, 2003 Thanks for that, I see on the Embassy web-site that there is one in Chonburi so that will be so much more conveinent. Thanks again. Sev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lopburi3 Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 Where did you get the affidavid translated at, and how much did it cost? Mine will have to be at the american embassy. Did they translate it the same day?There are many services on the same road as the American Citizen Services Unit (where you go - attached to the Consulate section). It must be a translator certified by the Royal Thai Foreign Ministry. Money talks as to the speed but first it must be translated and then copies made. Either the service or you then has to register them at the Foreign Ministry to give them international legal status. Once this is complete you have a copy to give to the District Office that you register your marriage at and they will probably check that it is real before signing the marriage certificate. Believe 1-2,000 baht is the normal price range. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolf5370 Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 Lopburi3 - I used a service (as stated above) near wireless road somewhere (near the Embassy). Cost about 7k at the time - 5 years ago - but the baht was very weak then (92 to the £). They did all the translating and had the stamps. They took it to be signed and basically did everything while we sat in front of a portable a/c unit and drank their coke. They took us to the Amphur in one of their cars. We jumped the queue at the Amphur (part of the service) and after half a dozen signitures, was all done. All in the same day. They did all the travelling to and thro, except for the Amphur as above. Well worth the money in my view. They know all the faces and have all the contacts. They know how, where and who. They can get things stamped and signed and they can jump the queues. Just need to make sure you have all the required stuff from your own country etc anmd Bob's your Aunty! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kel Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 Guys/Gals Really enjoyed your your posts - my Bro and his lovely THai partner of 8 years are having a Bhudist Ceromony in the North early next year. Its really great to see how something as unusual as this has got us Okkers and Poms off their <deleted> to visit LOS (could be a mob of 30 or so) Everybody is so enthusiastic at this end and its been great to learn a bit more about Thai customs on the practical side (most auspicious day to marry - must consult Temple by mail for most auspicious time - 9:19AM - gee those 9's creep in everywhere ) After the North we're going to drift South with the gang and go to do our own thing. In any event its goingto be a great month for me ! To all of you that have gone through it - my best wishes for the future Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hukster Posted July 17, 2003 Share Posted July 17, 2003 My fiance tells me both your birthdates determin the day of the week that you are to get married according to Thai custom. This is for good luck. Most things in Thailand seem to be based on good luck. Even when i went to the Buhda ( i know the spelling is wrong) temple, the monk toldme this is good luck for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevinnow Posted July 22, 2003 Author Share Posted July 22, 2003 Finally, whould anyone suggest having the Celebrations before registering the marriage at the amphur or vice-versa? Regards Sev :cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwijack Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 Just to add, we got married in small village outside Buriram, first farang marriage there. We had been together a couple of years prior to going to village to determine auspicious day for marriage. It transpired that 2 days later was very A, so we quickly organised buddhist ceremony. Every monk from the Temple attended & joined in simple banquet. Mum & Dad got 3 baht chain each, dowry 199 999 returned immediarely after wedding. Note parents impverished rice farmers. Locals/relatives all helped cook mountain of food & paid about 200 baht for efforts each. Monks all got 500 & Abbott 1000. Plenty of beer & soft drink provided . Arranged a disco for that evening, openair & everyone for miles came to dance. All in all a great time had by all.Total cost including gold, wifes also, & dress ,traditional for missus, around100000 baht, ie 50000 for gold , 50000 rest. There was no need, mention , pressure for marriage to be registered & wasnt done for more than a year later & only because of a visa related hassle that discriminated between de facto & married people ( the Buddhist ceremony having absolutely no legal status ) The marriage was registered in BKK & only required the above mentioned papers duly certified to do. We simply advised when we were married & paid small fee & got a certificate each, took 30 mins. I did all the paper work myself, minimum effort & just the hassle of going to Consular Affairs & the embassy a couple of times. Took 2 days to do it all. So, up to u when & if u register, the Buddhist ceremony is good face for the village & parents can show off a bit, but not binding. The wife might prefer it but it was not an issue for mine in any way, but then she is an non materialistic & basic, straight little honey. Incidentally , divorce is very simple too it seems as observed people who just both attended Amphur & advised & hey presto, but not sure about children issues as mai mee. Have a good one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pnustedt Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 We had a Buddhist ceremony in an Isaan village (formal registering in Hong Kong). One further thing that my wife did was collect in HK for a donation to the monastry. About 100K baht was raised and a "tree" was made and decorated with many baht notes (mostly 20s). This was then paraded from the family house thru' the village followed by a mobile band with amplifiers on a trolley. Ending up at the monastry where everyone danced till they dropped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevinnow Posted July 24, 2003 Author Share Posted July 24, 2003 Prustedt, as my coming wedding is going to be in Issan I would be gratefull as to the time span the ceremany takes from start to finish, well before the celebrations start that is. Regards Sev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pnustedt Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 To be honest I had nothing to do with the planning of the Buddhist wedding. My wife and the village sorted everything and I just went along with the flow. The occasion took all day. Many women came round early in the day and started preparing for the food - housework, etc. Whilst men turned up and arranged half a dozen bamboo beds to a platform in front of the house. The platform was then covered with blankets and a silk backdrop was erected. Then an altar table was added to one side where a Buddha was placed. The men then commenced making a tree (or bush) out of twigs on which many baht notes were clipped. Then a banner with my, and my wife's, names was fastened to the top. More and more women arrived, making large ornate floral displays. By mid-morning the place was pretty crowded and the mobile band arrived - a few amplifiers on a trolley powered by car batteries. One guy plugged in a microphone and there was a continuous commentary from then on. Half a dozen monks arrived about mid-day and positioned themselves on the platform. Food and other offerings (packs of cigs. etc.) were then given to them and everyone gathered in front of them doing their worshipping - the old women of the village in particular. This went on for an hour or two and there was a bit of a ceremony for me and my wife, then everyone started tying bits of string to our wrists. Eventually, the monks drifted off and the mobile band started - some local lads had guitars and bongo drums and another tried to sing! The procession thru' the village then started, the money tree was held aloft at the front and everyone was dancing, the mobile band was in the middle. We arrived at the monastry about 45 mins. later and encircled it a few times. There was later a ceremony in the monastry and offerings, including the "tree", were made to the monks. It was early evening by the time proceedings finished and we went back to the family house to party. Cost - hardly anything! A few crates of Chang, a few baht for the food. My wife had got donations from friends/relatives in HK for the money tree, which was used to finance an outbuilding at the monastry. However, I have provided money which has benefited some people of the village in general (medical fees, etc.) and the family in particular. Hope you have a great day - it was one of the best of my life! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevinnow Posted July 27, 2003 Author Share Posted July 27, 2003 Just read in another thread that some Embassies require proof of earnings to issue an affamation (good person) document which enables you to register the marriage. Anyone had experience of this question been asked? Thanks for all your advice. Regards Sev :cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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