I Met My Thai Girlfriend In England

[Chainat]

Hello all,

I've been looking through the forum for some answers to my questions and although I have found some very useful information,

I haven't found anything specific to my situation.

So here goes, I'm a British citizen living in England and I met my Thai girlfriend about 8 months ago.

She is a chef in a Thai restaurant and she has been in England for about two years on a work visa.

She is a very good cook and she has good work prospects here, she will have no problem continuing to get a visa for work.

She says that in another 3 years she will be able to apply for residency, but that she will probably not be here that long,

only long enough to secure her finances in Thailand.

She is not dependant on me and does not need to be so to continue staying in this country.

We have been together quite a while now and we are very fond of each other.

Although I am happy with our relationship as it is, I would consider marrying her in the future.

Mostly because she really is a wonderful woman and naturally I would like to make a commitment to her,

but also because I would like her to have status in the UK as my wife and be able to live as a resident and for us be able to travel freely.

I understand from reading some of the information in this forum that to marry a Thai that is outside of the UK

and bring her into the country is not an easy proposition, but what of our situation?

Am I able to marry her because she is already here and already employed?

Would she automatically get resident status?

What is the correct course of action I should take?

I hope you can help, thankyou.

Edited November 27, 2007 by Chainat

[sweetchariot]

2 years on a work visa??

hmmmmmmmmmm

[the scouser]

If you wish to marry, your g/f should apply for a certificate of approval from the Home Office. On the basis that this would be granted, you could marry and she could then make an in-country application for leave to remain as the spouse of a British citizen.

Scouse.

[Mahout Angrit]

She is a chef in a Thai restaurant and she has been in England for about two years on a work visa.

She is a very good cook and she has good work prospects here, she will have no problem continuing to get a visa for work.

She says that in another 3 years she will be able to apply for residency, but that she will probably not be here that long,

only long enough to secure her finances in Thailand.

Correct, provided she continues to get a contract to work, after another 3 years she can apply for ILR which would allow her to remain in the UK indefinitely and to change her profession or stop working all together if she wished. She could even apply to be a British citizen if she meets the language proficiency requirements.

You need to do nothing, she doesn't need you, especially as you say "I am happy with our relationship as it is" . The fact that she admits that she may not be here that long is more to do with the fact that she has a hidden agenda in Thailand than you needing to give her "status in the UK" because she could have that without your intervention. Maybe you need to ask why she thinks she wont be in UK 'that long'.

[Chainat]

Ok thankyou for the swift reply. So it is my girlfriend that should apply to the home office not myself.

Would the in-country application differ greatly from the application process for a wife outside the country?

Do you think overall our situation will mean a less complicated procedure?

[the scouser]

The rules governing in-country applications and those made abroad are to all intents and purposes identical.

Scouse.

[Chainat]

You need to do nothing, she doesn't need you, especially as you say "I am happy with our relationship as it is" . The fact that she admits that she may not be here that long is more to do with the fact that she has a hidden agenda in Thailand than you needing to give her "status in the UK" because she could have that without your intervention. Maybe you need to ask why she thinks she wont be in UK 'that long'.

I am happy with the relationship as it is, but I would like it to progress further in the future, it is only natural regardless of our nationalities. I don't really see the point you are trying to get at. The reason I explained the situation as it is, was to say that there is no other motive than a genuine desire by us both to be together. There are no hidden agendas for her either here or in Thailand, she is here for one simple reason, like most of us, to make an honest living.

Thankyou.

[the scouser]

Presumably she is in the UK at the moment on a work permit. This ties her to working for only the one employer, whereas if she were to obtain leave as your spouse, she would be free to work for whomsoever she wishes.

Scouse.

[Chainat]

The rules governing in-country applications and those made abroad are to all intents and purposes identical.

Scouse.

Again thankyou and I will look into it with the Home Office for future reference.

I would be interested in any experiences anyone has had in such a situation.

[Chainat]

Presumably she is in the UK at the moment on a work permit. This ties her to working for only the one employer, whereas if she were to obtain leave as your spouse, she would be free to work for whomsoever she wishes.

Scouse.

Yes, a normal relationship that is not governed by a third party.

Travel is another area where being married would make life a lot less complicated.

Aside from that she is a fantastic cook and a wonderful woman, what more could a man ask for?

[Mahout Angrit]

I don't really see the point you are trying to get at. The reason I explained the situation as it is, was to say that there is no other motive than a genuine desire by us both to be together. There are no hidden agendas for her either here or in Thailand, she is here for one simple reason, like most of us, to make an honest living.

Thankyou.

So why did you say

She says that in another 3 years she will be able to apply for residency, but that she will probably not be here that long,

only long enough to secure her finances in Thailand.

and

I am happy with our relationship as it is,

If you wish to get married then she must do as Scouse says- request permission but if you are not ready for that, the point I was making is that you could continue as you are legally and she would ultimately have exactly the same status as you wished for here:-

I would like her to have status in the UK as my wife and be able to live as a resident and for us be able to travel freely

Getting married, in itself, wont ease the ability to travel without visas either.

Edited November 27, 2007 by Mahout Angrit

[Mahout Angrit]

Presumably she is in the UK at the moment on a work permit. This ties her to working for only the one employer, whereas if she were to obtain leave as your spouse, she would be free to work for whomsoever she wishes.

Also if she obtains ILR in her own right (after 5 years) she would be free to work for whomsoever she wishes.

[Chainat]

The fact that she admits that she may not be here that long is more to do with the fact that she has a hidden agenda in Thailand than you needing to give her "status in the UK"...

I did find this comment speculative to say the least, I am looking for reliable information in order to proceed further with my relationship, that is all.

Thankyou.

[Mahout Angrit]

I did find this comment speculative to say the least, I am looking for reliable information in order to proceed further with my relationship, that is all..

Speculative, maybe, but those of us who have had a long connection with Thailand both in the country and with Thai citizens abroad know that Thai citizens frequently leave a situation including family to make money abroad whatever it takes and will not be distracted from returning to Thailand with their spoils. While I have no reason to expect your g/f falls into this category, your comments that I highlighted above prompted me to fire a warning to you based on experience. I hope it is not the case with you and wish you good luck and hope you can make something of the advice offered.

[Chainat]

I did find this comment speculative to say the least, I am looking for reliable information in order to proceed further with my relationship, that is all..

Speculative, maybe, but those of us who have had a long connection with Thailand both in the country and with Thai citizens abroad know that Thai citizens frequently leave a situation including family to make money abroad whatever it takes and will not be distracted from returning to Thailand with their spoils. While I have no reason to expect your g/f falls into this category, your comments that I highlighted above prompted me to fire a warning to you based on experience. I hope it is not the case with you and wish you good luck and hope you can make something of the advice offered.

You haven't offered me any advice worth taking and your opinion is unwelcome,

I said 'speculative to say the least' when what I meant was 'downright offensive' and so is your condescending

and stereotypical view of my situation and of Thai people living and working abroad.

I do hope you are not speaking in an official capacity for Thaivisa.

The Scouser on the other hand has offered me just the kind of advice I was looking for,

honest and non-judgemental advice regarding our legal situation,

and I welcome any such constructive advice or experience in this matter.

Thankyou.

Edited November 27, 2007 by Chainat

[mrbojangles]

Calm down Chainat, i'm sure you mis-understood Mahoot's initial intentions. He is indeed clued up on the subject matter. You have to remember that MANY, MANY people come on here asking for advice and after a while you learn and see the warning signs. I'm sure Mahoot wasn't implying anything, just adding caution.

I do hope you are not speaking in an official capacity for Thaivisa.

Nobody on here speaks in an official capacity. Nobody get's paid and all the advice is for free, from members like yourself with experience.

Out of curiosity, have you visited Thailand yet?

[the gent]

The fact that she admits that she may not be here that long is more to do with the fact that she has a hidden agenda in Thailand than you needing to give her "status in the UK"...

I did find this comment speculative to say the least, I am looking for reliable information in order to proceed further with my relationship, that is all.

Thankyou.

I rather think what Mahout is saying is that it is wise never to take things at face value and possibly that it would be prudent of you for example at some stage to corroborate your girlfriend's alleged immigration status by, say, actually examining her passport.

Folk here are generally realistic and try to help even if that may intrude upon sensitive areas. Mahout means well and, frankly, you do come across as being a tad ' wet '.

[edwardandtubs]

Tell you want to have a look at a Thai passport out of interest and have a laugh at her passport photo.

[Chainat]

I apologise for being overly sensitive as that is how it seems.

I wish only to defend the honour of my girlfriend and stop any speculation about her background or her character.

I did read through many threads on this forum before deciding to register and post, and I understand that there is a general feeling of distrust toward the motives of Thai women.

It is easy to become jaded when so many relationship that are entered into without looking at the possible outcomes end in disasterous circumstances.

Perhaps that is in part our fault and not only on the part of the woman as both strive for something that is unrealistic and unatainable.

For me to say that the girl I have met is different would be to invite further disbelief or ridicule.

All I can say is that she is very genuine, I have met her employer many times and she is well thought of and is indeed employed on a work visa.

She could of course stay here for 5 years and gain residence,

but really would you want to spend so long alone and away from your home and your family just to stay in a country that is not your own?

Perhaps, but that is not her motive for being here.

Neither of us were particularly looking for romance, it is just something that has happened naturaly.

I have been to Thailand several times in the past, and in a way that is how we met in England through a friend I have in Thailand.

She is from Chainat, hence the name, and she is here to help make a comfortable life for her parents in their later years and for her daughter to attend university, she works very hard under a lot of pressure to attain this goal and I admire her greatly for that.

She was married for 14 years and was divorced 3 years ago. We will visit Thailand together sometime next year, perhaps in the spring.

She is worried that her father will not accept me, being as I am farang and there are not many in the area, they are viewed very negatively there.

She comes from quite a good family, her parents are teachers and her uncle is a police chief.

Meeting the family is not step I will take lightly, I will have to do my best to swat up on the language and cultural aspects of meeting the parents,

in order to try and make the best possible impression.

Nothing in what she has told me, or her actions, would make me suspect she has anything to hide or that she has an alterior motive for our relationship.

Security and trust are fundamental regardless of nationallity.

Neither of us are spring chickens and we are both proceediong with the caution gained from lifes experience, but we still have plenty of time left for us to share and care for each other and I would like to hope that although there may be obstacles, we will be able to find our way through it together.

Oh, did I mention she's a fantastic cook?

Edited November 28, 2007 by Chainat

[the scouser]

Well said, Chainat: don't let the gloom-mongers get you down.

Even if it all turns to ratsh*t, it's your mistake to make (or not, as I'm sure will be the case).

Scouse.

[Mossfinn]

Calm down guy's, from what I can determine from the little stated above, he is not some green kid just off the boat from Dun Laoghaire, who has tripped on a beer bottle and landed in a bar and been cajoled into buying the said bar for her ailing parents.

However, there are some good points, particularly on Immigration matters, but also on certain prospective dangers, don't blame the guy's for genuine concern, they have your best interests at heart, but it looks like you have the bases covered.

Just looking at the construction of your posts, from the grammar master himself, namely me I think you have enough savvy to get by.

Meeting the family is not step I will take lightly, I will have to do my best to swat up on the language and cultural aspects of meeting the parents,

in order to try and make the best possible impression.

Ah, meeting the family, a whole world of pitfalls, but in the main an introduction to a whole new way of life in the Boonies, make sure you Wai the Elders, it doesn't matter if you get it wrong, making the effort really counts.

Try and learn some simple words, they will love it and remember they are not laughing at you, but with you, if you treat everybody with respect, it is the first step in winning them round and so winning the battle.

Good Luck

Moss

By the way, if you haven't tried the splash and dash before, a further Good Luck to you