English Teachers Only Get Stuck With Bar Girls?

[mbkudu]

Also, owning a car surely doesn't improve your class now does it?  That's awfully 'baan nok' thinking don't you think?

Never said it was. Making enough money to own a car does elevate one's perceived status in society, no?

This is such pompous s### rubbish! A car in Bangkok? That's a good idea, what with all the cheap transportation, sky train, boats, bumper to bumper traffic day in and day out, vehicles that cost twice what they do in western countries and depreciate twice as fast. Yes, buy a car, what a great investment!

[Heng]

Nem was talking about perceived status, which is probably true anywhere (or else we'd all be driving Datsun's). Of course there are well to do people using public transportation everywhere, Bangkok included.

The upsides of car ownership:

-you never have to wait streetside for a taxi or bus, perhaps in the rain (perhaps getting splashed by passing vehicles), breathing in dust/gasoline/etc.

-there's no guarantee that those buses are going to stop for you

-those oh so soothing taxi rides at 90 kph changing lanes every 3.4 seconds

-klong boats? I remember those... I also remember the sweet smell of klong water getting splashed on the passengers.

A car as an investment? It's just transportation. May as well think of your refrigerator as an investment then.

[Ijustwannateach]

Considering that the "average" cash salary per capita in Thailand is in the low 4 digits of baht, Heng, I'd say that even the 15-20K Thai office worker is middle class- and that much more the 25-30K farang English teacher. Your insecurity in realizing how poor you really are compared to the "superduper" obscenely rich [who somehow never find the reason to drone on and on about their economic "qualifications" as you do] is no reason to redraw class lines so that only someone with "years of savings and multiple businesses and is really well off" can be considered "middle class" in Thailand. As usual, you're oh, so very.

Nemesis, with your track record in Thailand (being dismissed multiple times, if I'm not mistaken?) it's true it'll take you awhile to line up one of the 40K jobs. Those take connections and persistence, plus a general sympathy with the idea of your being a friendly, easy-to-get-along-with type worker.

"Steven"

[Heng]

Considering that the "average" cash salary per capita in Thailand is in the low 4 digits of baht, Heng, I'd say that even the 15-20K Thai office worker is middle class- and that much more the 25-30K farang English teacher. Your insecurity in realizing how poor you really are compared to the "superduper" obscenely rich [who somehow never find the reason to drone on and on about their economic "qualifications" as you do] is no reason to redraw class lines so that only someone with "years of savings and multiple businesses and is really well off" can be considered "middle class" in Thailand. As usually, you're oh, so very.

Nemesis, with your track record in Thailand (being dismissed multiple times, if I'm not mistaken?) it's true it'll take you awhile to line up one of the 40K jobs. Those take connections and persistence, plus a general sympathy with the idea of your being a friendly, easy-to-get-along-with type worker.

"Steven"

Yeah Steve, by that logic, given that billions are living near the povery line worldwide it's time to do some serious redrawing of the lines. I've already said many times that I am barely getting by.

[Darlek]

English teacher's salaries at most government schools here in LOS, are not enuf to support a steady girlfriend, never mind a family. Certainly not enough to provide for the usual expenses, such as a car and a savings account.

Most Thai women know this. That is why we rarely see a middle-class to upper-middle class Thai woman interested in a foreign teacher as a possible marriage partner.

What we usually see is desparate farang English teachers asking other forum members if they should marry the bar girl they just fell in love with at first sight. Never mind that they would never marry a bar fly back home, that would be too far beneath them. But come to a mostly third world country and the only women remotely interested in an English teacher, in general, are lower class uneducated bar girls. It's then the same story. Lonely desparate man meets lonely desparate low class woman. They fall in "love." Get married. Live togetehr a few months or maybe even years. Then, with nothing in common,and the sex getting routine, things fall apart. If he's lucky, she doesn't take everythig he has including his manhood for duck food.

Or we read about the exploits of the newly arrived small head "thinking" potential English teacher wanting to take advantage of the low class women available. We then are treated to tales of the many and varied exploits of the young stud.

What we don't hear much about are English teachers marrying decent Thai women and raising a family.

Where I live now, the bar girls aren't even interested in English teachers, because the steady influx of foreigners can out compete financially with any teacher and will gladly do so to get laid. Buy the young missus a mobile phone, clothes, take her out for something other than noodles or rice for dinner, and even to a five star hotel club and to his air cond hotel room or condo for after hours activities.

How can an English teacher compete with that?

I get tired of hearing about how good English teachers have it here in Thailand. The bottom line is we are used by Thai people to educate their young people but basically the better off Thai don't want anything to do with us and considered us low class because, frankly, that's what we are in Thai society.

i cant see how a poorly paid farang teacher could afford a BG and her monthly expenses . it wouldnt last 5 minutes ..

the bottom line is he has to match her monthly earnings .

unless he looks like brad pitt whereby she may for a short period suffer low earnings but that would soon pass when her mates were bugging her about what she is missing out on

[bkkmadness]

it must be so sad being you...

yep i cant live with gals that have had 6 years education, i actually need to talk to then sometimes, u know get answers like, but getting answers about thai from a gal that has 6 years education is probably pretty hard..

Not really, but I think it's pretty sad first imagining a girl in 7/11 only has a limited amount of education and secondly because formal education is the only way to be educated. But it must feel pretty good to walk around every shop in LOS and feel superior knowing that you would never lower yourself to go out with any of these uneducated 7/11 workers riff raff. lol.

This kind of thinking, without regard to the individual involved, is the worst kind of prejudice IMO.

IMO too. Well said that man.

[Ijustwannateach]

Nem, have you ever considered the possibility it's just you?

[meemiathai]

Not really, but I think it's pretty sad first imagining a girl in 7/11 only has a limited amount of education and secondly because formal education is the only way to be educated. But it must feel pretty good to walk around every shop in LOS and feel superior knowing that you would never lower yourself to go out with any of these uneducated 7/11 workers riff raff. lol.

You can't be that young! Can you?

***and secondly because formal education is the only way to be educated.***

I really like this one!

[CTM]

I don't agree. First, get out of BKK, Phuket, Pattaya and other high cost areas. Second, get out of the bars. Would you meet a decent girl at a gogo bar at home? Doubt it.

B30,000 a month is NOT low class money to Thais in smaller cities. It is far more than most college grad Thais make, as others have noted.

It can provide a quite adequate standard of living.

Date in your age group. If you are fifty, fat, blad, and sweaty then don't think you will get a superlooker 20 something without $$$$. Thailand is full of nice, beatiful women in the 25-40 age group who still are quite attractive and good wife material.

Lastly, if you teach at a real school, not some fly-by-night dump, teaching is a well respected career.

[meemiathai]

If you are fifty, fat, blad, and sweaty

Should he be hung?

[Coffee Dude]

Maybe you could get 7-11 to pay a little sponsorship dues for this thread. And move a step closer to Hi-so.

Doesn't anyone go to fresh-mart? They have the best girls.

He he just a little joke.

You are who you are... not what you do. (Or is that; you are not what you are but who you do?) Not sure about that.

Take a chance but don't bet the food money.

Coffee!!!

[IamMaiC]

Sound like he has a self esteem problem to me, there are millions of available thai women in thailand!!!! I found one along with hundreds of other men what is so hard about it?? I mean of course you have culturel diffrences but what if you go to another country to meet someone?? The same will happen you get over them

Nobody is pushing you into those go-go bars I think you doing all the walking into them yourself.

[Nemesis]

Nemesis, with your track record in Thailand (being dismissed multiple times, if I'm not mistaken?)

You are mistaken wannabe. Along with your inaccurate bio of me on another post, you sure don't know much about me even though you seem to mention me in every one of your posts.

What ya think of those 50% of New Yorkers who think the US government was compliciit in 911? No mention of that I see. Along with the accusations by Ruppert accusing Cheney publically in an exclusive San Fransisco Club of being behind 911?

The number of decent 40,000 baht jobs for teachers in Thaiand and few and far between. And even 40,000 baht isn't much to write home about.

[adjan jb]

What we don't hear much about are English teachers marrying decent Thai women and raising a family

So let me be the rainbow that will enlight your rainy day.

I'm a French teacher. I've been living with a very decent Thai girl for 6 or 7 years. We have a beautiful son.

i don't make much money (25 000) but we've been able to buy a car and a piece of land on which we have built a 120 sq/m house. Some years we can even afford to fly to Europe for a 4/5 week vacation.

As an adjan i'm highly respected by my neighbours (no kidding). But it's probably because we are living in a hamlet and farmers tend to respect teachers more than city people.

Once i had a GF from the local bourgeoisie. Never again.

[IamMaiC]

25,000 and 40,000 bht is not alot for thailand?? my wife when she was working made only 4 close to 5000 baht a month

[meemiathai]

Nemesis is either trolling or mental! He can't be serious! ?

And for the US government's complicity in 911, I'm sure that 50% of New Yorkers believe David Copperfield can really fly too.

Just what exactly are you teaching in LOS? Poor Thais!

[Pudgimelon]

What we don't hear much about are English teachers marrying decent Thai women and raising a family.

Where I live now, the bar girls aren't even interested in English teachers, because the steady influx of foreigners can out compete financially with any teacher and will gladly do so to get laid. Buy the young missus a mobile phone, clothes, take her out for something other than noodles or rice for dinner, and even to a five star hotel club and to his air cond hotel room or condo for after hours activities.

How can an English teacher compete with that?

First off, why are you even trying to "compete" for bargirls with other farang.

Second, you might have better luck with women if you didn't reduce everything down to a monetary exchange. "Dinner-and-a-movie" doesn't mean that you "paid" for the kiss good-night (or whatever else happens that night).

Third, truly high-quality women aren't going to be impressed with gifts of telephones, clothes or high-priced dinners. High-quality women are going to be far more impressed by a sincere attitude, a kind heart, a warm and loving smile and a good sense of humor.

I remember when I lived back in the States, I used to hang out at this super-expensive high-class night club. Only the richest and most obnoxious "trend-setters" could afford to hang out in this place, so there were lots of "cool" guys hanging around in their black-on-black Armani shirts, slicked back hair, and Ferrari key chains showily placed on the bar (and yes, they did own one or more Ferraris).

And then there was me, computer-geek extraordinaire. Now while I made enough money to afford the drinks in that place, I certainly didn't dress the part. Usually I'd come straight from work, jeans and T-shirt, no shave or shower, and a ratty old hoodie. Many of the people would just snub their noses at me, assuming I was some bum who managed to sneak past the dress-code police at the front door.

Actually, my best friends worked at the club (the club employed "beautiful people" to stand on podiums and model various fashions, it gave the place "atmosphere", it was all so tre' cool).

Anyway, my first night in there, I ordered a drink from the bartender (this club also employed the most beautiful women as bartenders. We're talking supermodel hot). No big deal. Just ordered a drink, drank it, and hung out waiting for my friends to finish so we could go eat. But two weeks later, when I came back in, I walked up to the same bar, and before I could order, the bartender put a gin'n'tonic up on the bar. She'd made it for me as soon as she saw me walk in the door (amazing considering there were over a 1000 people in the club that night).

So we started chatting, and over the next few weeks, we became friends, until finally SHE asked ME out on a date. So out we went, and we had a great time. At the end of the date, I asked her why she had taken a liking to me. She said, "All the other guys who come into the bar try to impress me with $100 tips, smooth talk, and cool style. But underneath it all, they're still just shallow guys interested in getting 'one thing' from me. You, on the other hand, were the first person to look in my eyes when you talked to me, you never hit on me, and you were funny and interesting to talk to."

It was always great fun going out with her, because sometimes we'd run into "cool guys" from the bar and they'd be absolutely dumbfounded to see her with me. How did a dumpy looking guy like me get a date with this girl when they couldn't win her with all their money and "sexy" good looks?? Sometimes, they'd ask her "What the ###### are you doing with HIM?" Sometimes, they'd even ask her that while I was sitting next to her, as if I somehow couldn't hear the conversations of "cool people" . But I never got upset about it. Nor did I get jealous when some "cool guy" made a move on her. I'd just laugh at them. Because I knew they had absolute no chance with her.

And that's the moral of my story. Guys don't just compete on financial terms alone. Sure there are a lot of gold-diggers and housewife-wannabes who seek out men on purely financial terms, but you know what, you guys are welcome to compete for them, I certainly wouldn't want a woman like that, no matter how pretty she was.

Truly nice and decent girls seek guys who are funny, interesting, sincere, LOYAL, and caring. If they are reasonably pretty girls, there's a good chance that they've been burned by a lot of players, and so they aren't going to be impressed by game-playing guys flashy a lot of cash. In fact, that's probably going to turn them OFF.

So your theory that English teachers can only get bar girls is waaaaaaaaay stupid.

Right now, I'm teaching English (true, I'm not ONLY a teacher, but it's my main job right now), and right now I have a beautiful, intelligent girlfriend who is a marketing executive. She's from a good family and makes a lot more money than I do, and she gets plenty of attention from Thai guys all the time. But she's not interested in the players who are looking for a "second girlfriend" (Thais call them 'geeks'), and she's not with me because I'm rich. Heck, her last boyfriend was from one of the "power families" in Thailand and was an editor for one of the major Thai newspapers. So finanically, there's no way in hades I can compete with that guy.

But he cheated on her CONSTANTLY, and even when he was with her, he treated her like an expensive toy to show off to his colleagues. In other words, he never really SAW her as a person of value.

So in a real sense, there's no way in hades that HE can compete with ME, because he'll never see her as anything more than expensive arm-jewelry. I, on the other hand, love her mind and her body, and she knows this, so there's no way that someone flashing a lot of cash is going to compete with that. Some things are worth more than money can buy.

[RDN]

It was always great fun going out with her, because sometimes we'd run into "cool guys" from the bar and they'd be absolutely dumbfounded to see her with me.  How did a dumpy looking guy like me get a date with this girl when they couldn't win her with all their money and "sexy" good looks??  Sometimes, they'd ask her "What the ###### are you doing with HIM?"  Sometimes, they'd even ask her that while I was sitting next to her, as if I somehow couldn't hear the conversations of "cool people" .  But I never got upset about it.  Nor did I get jealous when some "cool guy" made a move on her.  I'd just laugh at them.  Because I knew they had absolute no chance with her.

Excellent post, pudgi! I had a similar experience being with a gorgeous girl - who was a friend of an ex-girlfriend. She was with me because she was a friend and I was hurting because of the ex-girlfriend, and she wanted to make me feel better. Anyway, we were in a bar playing pool and she was looking stunning - the best looking girl there I would say - and these guys were practically queuing up to talk to her. So she just said to them "I'm playing pool with my boyfriend, please go away". So they'd look at me, draws would drop, frowns appeared followed by a puzzled look, and they'd slope off. Made me feel great!

[mijan24]

Nemesis

However, women are basically the same the world over.

The above remarks (yours) highlights your attitude towards Women- If you have a downer on the fairer sex and you feel that by being anal you are be-littling anybody but yourself then you are deluding none other than yourself.

Conversely if you have a downer on "male English teachers" then that in its-self may well explain your cries of rejection!

I suppose taking it one step further if I had been rejected by a "male english teacher" for a young lady who by circumstance happens to be employed in a bar I may have my nose out of joint too.

Even another scenario could be if I had been rejected by both the "male english teacher & the young damsel of the night I may try to even things up by bad mouthing them on a forum such as this.

Now Nemesis if you do have a problem and need advice please be honest with us & yourself but if all you are doing is passing wind please move back to where you came from and as they say "where-ever you may be let your wind go free" but beware as the smell may give you away.

Mijan24

[WISteve]

Troll Alert! Aw, Pudgi you blew it!

In the other string you are wallpapering (the "scared" string)you were carrying on and on about your beautiful charming wife:

On nights out, back when I was single, I'd hit places like Ratchada Soi 4, RCA, Mystique, etc.... A lot of times, I'd be the only Westerner in the bar, but I never felt out of place. I'm a big fan of Thai pop music, so I'd get a kick out of sending requests up to the band, and watching them react with shock to see a request for a Thai song (my Thai handwriting is quite good) from a Westerner. Quite often people would invite me to drink with them, in fact, if I want to be left alone, I definitely would not go to a bar because too many people want to hang out with me and I'd never get any peace.

Well, and how CHARMING and INTELLIGENT you are as well!

But now suddenly you have a beautiful charming GIRLFRIEND ! Did we get caught in a lie my judgemental and pompous friend?

Right now, I'm teaching English (true, I'm not ONLY a teacher, but it's my main job right now), and right now I have a beautiful, intelligent girlfriend who is a marketing executive.

Okay, so you can fess-up now....you're really a 16 year old in Udon-nowhere spanking the monkey and getting his thrills posting verbose and gradiose notions which spring into mind!

Ain't it the shits when you get "outed" for being a troll Pudgi?

~Steve

[Ijustwannateach]

HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Great one, Steve... we got tired of his ranting, monomaniacal wallpaper on Ajarn, too, but I don't think anyone ever caught Pudgi with his pants down quite like you have!

Boy, the Nemster and Pudgimaroon on the same thread! Clash of the Spitans!

I feel more sorry for Nem, though- Pudgi's got some kind of compulsion, but even so he might be able to get a date (if she's one of these low-esteem type women who need a partner who feels self-righteous and is full of hot air). Nem, on the other hand, has really lost the plot in all kinds of ways that he hasn't even started on in this forum (by the way, Nem, I only mention you in response to threads/topics YOU start- which, if you think that I refer to you in all of my posts, are apparently the only ones you read). I think Nem gave up on Ajarn because he's realized there's no one over there who takes him seriously in the slightest- and he's beginning the process again over here.

It's sad when people expect the world to adjust for their internal reality. The collison of the two is always a mess when it happens.

"Steven"

[Coffee Dude]

It was always great fun going out with her, because sometimes we'd run into "cool guys" from the bar and they'd be absolutely dumbfounded to see her with me. How did a dumpy looking guy like me get a date with this girl when they couldn't win her with all their money and "sexy" good looks?? Sometimes, they'd ask her "What the ###### are you doing with HIM?" Sometimes, they'd even ask her that while I was sitting next to her, as if I somehow couldn't hear the conversations of "cool people" . But I never got upset about it. Nor did I get jealous when some "cool guy" made a move on her. I'd just laugh at them. Because I knew they had absolute no chance with her.

Pudgi, I think in the colloquial it's called a 'cock-block'.

Coffee!!!

[dragonmasterzip]

Loved Pud and RDN's letters. They truly hit the spot.

I come from money. Not a lot of it, but enough. I go out of my way to not dress like I have money. I never buy new cars. I rarely take women out to expensive places and certainly never in the beginning of a relationship. I do this intentionally to make sure a woman is going out with me.

I do have the Blarney, charm and am good looking, but what I do very well is make a woman feel like she is the only person I am talking to and what she has to say is important.

TV and cultural pressures have made it very popular to think money is both the root of all evil and the salvation. My intimate knowledge of my friends who grew up with a lot of money makes me glad I do not have a lot of money.

I did not read every letter with great care, however I was noticed quite a few of the ranters, who were also English teachers, do not have a very good grasp of the grammatical rules of the language, they purport to teach.

Good people come in all classes and seem to be in dwindling supply. But when you drive a honey wagon, it is hard to see the roses.

[Pudgimelon]

In the other string you are wallpapering (the "scared" string)you were carrying on and on about your beautiful charming wife:

I never said I have a wife. Where did you see that? I've never been married.

Please point out the quote where you believe I said I had a wife, because you are mistaken.

[Nemesis]

First off, why are you even trying to "compete" for bargirls with other farang.

Second, you might have better luck with women if you didn't reduce everything down to a monetary exchange.

High-quality women are going to be far more impressed by a sincere attitude, a kind heart, a warm and loving smile and a good sense of humor.

I remember when I lived back in the States.........blah blah blah ...........(wherein you go and on about how great you are.)

Never said I personally was but that English teachers where I live were.

I don't reduce everything down to a monetary exchange. That is an extremist position which I wouldn't assume of anyone without more evidence. As for my luck with women, about the only area of my life where I have been lucky lately. Thanks for your concern though.

As far as high quality women go, thanks again for your insight.

[Nemesis]

Nemesis ........... can't be serious! ?

And for the US government's complicity in 911, I'm sure that 50% of New Yorkers believe David Copperfield can really fly too.

Taking what I actually said and trying to morph it into soemthing I didn't say, is getting off point.

These forums are about sharing ideas, information, questions / opinions and getting instant fedback on what we are thinking. Many people 'get it' and get into the convergence taking place.

Others, like you, have very little or nothing to contribute in the way of thought provoking comments or questions. Instead, they attack those who have said something that they themselves can't or are too intellectually lazy to refute and dare not proffer their own thoughts to those of us in 'cyberspace' for comment.

66% of those same New Yorkers think a new private commission should be launched to investigate the 'unanswered questions' of 9/11.

[Nemesis]

Nemesis

However, women are basically the same the world over.

The above remarks (yours) highlights your attitude towards Women- If you have a downer on the fairer sex

I assume that means the good things too, don't you?

You assumed I only see the bad side of women because you have read a few paragraphs in a couple of posts of mine and have me all figured out already. You're sharp, very sharp.

This is only a cyber forum. Chill out my friend.

I could go on and on about some of the women I have met while here in Thailand. Some very good, some not so good. And many of the very good were poor. And some of the not so good weren't. Same as my own country.

Men and women are basically the same everywhere.

[Coffee Dude]

Huh uh!! I don't think so. Men and women are the same? Can you expand on that?

Not an attack just want to read this reply.

Coffee!!!

[Nemesis]

I feel more sorry for Nem, ...........It's sad when people expect the world to adjust for their internal reality.

“Few of us can easily surrender our belief that society must somehow make sense. The thought that The State has lost its mind and is punishing so many innocent people is intolerable. And so the evidence has to be internally denied.”

"What is the lesson here?"

(referring to the scoop that Miller had regarding Gorbachev abandoning Stalin type communism in 1986 three years before the fall of the Berlin wall that the New York Times and other leading media outlets refused to print.)

"I think it is that one has to endlessly reexamine what one is absolutely sure is beyond possibility."

Arthur Miller

[WISteve]

"On nights out, back when I was single, I'd hit places like Ratchada Soi 4, RCA, Mystique, etc.... A lot of times, I'd be the only Westerner in the bar, but I never felt out of place."

Pudgy, you were made. I quoted the post from the other string. You may have gone back and changed it now, but why try to deny it when I have your quote in the other post?

We all know you're a bit on the "creative side" anyway Pudgy...

Take care,

WISteve