Communication

[WillyL]

A young guy out on the town with his mates spies the girl of his dreams across the dance floor. Having admired her from afar he finally gets up the courage to talk to her. Everything goes better than expected and she agrees to accompany him on a date the following Saturday evening. Saturday night the man arrives at her house with flowers and candy.

To his surprise, she answers the door in nothing but a towel. "I'm sorry," she exclaims, "I am running a bit late. Please come in and I'll introduce you to my parents who will entertain you while I finish getting dressed. I should warn you, though, they are both deaf mutes."

With this she ushers him into the living room, introduces him to her parents and promptly disappears. As you can imagine, this is a little uncomfortable as both of the parents are completely silent. Dad is sitting in his arm chair watching golf on TV, and Mom is busy knitting.

After about ten minutes of complete silence, Mom jumps from her chair, pulls up her skirt, pulls down her knickers, and pours a glass of water over her fanny. Just as suddenly, Dad launches himself across the room, bends her over the couch, and takes her from behind. He then sits back down in his chair and balances a match stick in front of his eye. The room is plunged back into eerie silence and the young man is shocked into disbelief.

After a further ten minutes, the daughter returns fully dressed and ready for the evening. The date is a complete disaster with the young man completely distracted by the on goings earlier in the living room.

At the end of the night, the girl asks, "What's the matter? Have I done something wrong?" "No, its not you," he replied, "It's just that the strangest thing happened while I was waiting for you and I am still a bit shocked. Well, first your Mother jumps from her chair, lifts up her skirt, pulls down her panties, and throws a glass of water over her behind. Then, as if that weren't enough, your Father races from his chair, leans her over the couch and does her from behind. He then sits back down and places a match stick by his eye."

"Oh, is that all?" replies the girl.

The man can't believe her casual response.

"That's how they communicate!, Mom was simply saying, "Are you going to get this asshol_e a drink?" and Dad was replying, "No, <deleted> him - I'm watching the match."

[suegha]

Bizarre!

[zzdocxx]

Reminds me of the guy who bought a dog touted as the best rabbit hunter in the world.

He took the dog out for a trial and the dog immediately ran off into the woods. After ten minutes he ran back out of the woods, carrying a stick in his mouth. He then came up and started humping the guy's leg.

Naturally he took the dog back to get a refund and explained what had happened. The guy who sold him the dog said, "Oh, what he was trying to tell you was, 'There are more f*cking rabbits out in those woods than you can shake a stick at!'"

[siamesekitty]

disturbingly funny...

[warfie]

[brock01]

A farmers lad hits a pig with his 4x4. He rings his boss and tells him the pig is still alive but it is stuck under the bull bars. The boss says shoot the fuc_kin pig and get back to work. The lad says ok but what do you want me to do with his speed camera!

[brock01]

A fella goes the doctors and the doctor says am afraid you have got NY408. The man says what is that? Well the doctor says it means you could die today, tomorrow or next week. I know you are a family man, why don't you do all the things you wanted to do with your wife!

The man tells his wife. She is obviously upset. Listen don't be upset, lets do all the things we have wanted to do. I know you have always wanted me to go the bingo with you, lets do that tonight and you can go fishing with me tomorrow.

They go to the bingo and the man wins the full house, the single line,the jackpot,the snowball ticket. At the end of the night the manager comes to his table and says "I don't know what you have got mate to have so much luck but you have won everything here tonight!

Actually he says I have got NY408. fuc_k me the manger says you have won the fuc_kin raffle as well.