camster Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 I'm getting married to a Thai lady soon and have heard it is tradition to give the parents a gift (cash only please). Is this true and if so how much to avoid insult. Secondly what are the implications in the event of a split sometime down the road, in terms of Thai Law. Am I signing my life away. Thanks Camster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Mist Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 there are many threads on this subject and as many varied opinions on to pay or not to pay that my suggestion is to research these threads. the payment is called a "sin sod" a form of dowry only opposite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stickman Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 The law clearly states that the giver of a dowry has no right to request it back in the event of a married couple splitting, irrespective of the circumstances. My advice to people is that you should be VERY clear with the family what will happen to the dowry AND be prepared to lose it all - which may be contrary to what they had explicity agreed to. Basically, if you are not comfortable with the idea of giving a dowry, don't. Stick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SK1972 Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 Camster, I have loads of foreign friends who did not have to give cash to the future in-laws. It all depends on the mentality of the TH. It is some Asian custom to give "dowry" to the parents but the MODERN DAY day Asians do not practice it anymore. Its only the more old-fashioned and conservative ones who do. Unless they just want money. My opinion is that, if they expect you to respect their "customs" they should also respect yours. Farang customs ........there is no need to provide "cash" to the in-laws. However, depending on what amount they want, if its no "biggie" and you want to do it, then just give it to them.........and get it over with On the other hand, there are other farang men who have given "cash" to the in-laws...........then it never stops..........they will say its your/the daughter's "duty" to provide cash EVERY month.................it just never ends What is your fiancee's take in this? Implications of divorce?? I would say similar as any other country's divorce except if the house/assets are in her name, you have no say in the matter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SK1972 Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 Just a little more to add...........I find dowry degrading to women throughout the world....................it says to the world "PARENTS WANT TO SELL THEIR DAUGHTER, HOW MUCH IS YOUR BID, highest bidder wins" Some parents give the dowry to their daughter after the wedding, most dont. Some want a very "high price" for their daughter and use the excuse as "you dont think my daughter is worth it??". My take, you are marrying the girl which means you will provide, care and give her everything she wants for life and vice versa.....so whats the issue with the dowry??? Note too, you are suppose to care for the GIRL, not her whole family..... . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nogutsnoapplepie Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 Give them Jack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rod_kalashnikov Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pepe' Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 My wife's mom didn't ask for a dowery. She gave me a nice gold chain and Buddha. And we were given several pieces of property in Sattahip, Bangkok and Samut Sakorn. Not bad... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nogutsnoapplepie Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 Any news on the grass? I see he is online today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SK1972 Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 Rod, GBP 100,000 ??? And you did not take it !!! Hahaha, either she must have AIDS or so ###### ugly he just wanted to get rid of her. (kidding) Could have taken the dough, married her and divorced her all in the same week..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nogutsnoapplepie Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 My wife's mom didn't ask for a dowery. She gave me a nice gold chain and Buddha.And we were given several pieces of property in Sattahip, Bangkok and Samut Sakorn. Not bad... Excellent.A gold chain so you can be strangled to death and many places for you to be buried also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pepe' Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 My wife's mom didn't ask for a dowery. She gave me a nice gold chain and Buddha.And we were given several pieces of property in Sattahip, Bangkok and Samut Sakorn. Not bad... Excellent.A gold chain so you can be strangled to death and many places for you to be buried also. You stopped taking your medication again...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nogutsnoapplepie Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 My wife's mom didn't ask for a dowery. She gave me a nice gold chain and Buddha.And we were given several pieces of property in Sattahip, Bangkok and Samut Sakorn. Not bad... Excellent.A gold chain so you can be strangled to death and many places for you to be buried also. You stopped taking your medication again...? It must be the Bird Flu that does not exist............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pepe' Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 My wife's mom didn't ask for a dowery. She gave me a nice gold chain and Buddha.And we were given several pieces of property in Sattahip, Bangkok and Samut Sakorn. Not bad... Excellent.A gold chain so you can be strangled to death and many places for you to be buried also. You stopped taking your medication again...? It must be the Bird Flu that does not exist............. Thanks for clearing that up... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nogutsnoapplepie Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 My wife's mom didn't ask for a dowery. She gave me a nice gold chain and Buddha.And we were given several pieces of property in Sattahip, Bangkok and Samut Sakorn. Not bad... Excellent.A gold chain so you can be strangled to death and many places for you to be buried also. You stopped taking your medication again...? It must be the Bird Flu that does not exist............. Thanks for clearing that up... Clearing or Cleaning?????????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IamMaiC Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 I'm getting married to a Thai lady soon and have heard it is tradition to give the parents a gift (cash only please). Is this true and if so how much to avoid insult.Secondly what are the implications in the event of a split sometime down the road, in terms of Thai Law. Am I signing my life away. Thanks Camster Is this a Shotgun wedding?? your worried about splitting and you didn't even marry yet! I gave my wife's parent's 70000 thai baht but you have to negotiate about the price if you are going to give, it is not necessary to give a dowry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rod_kalashnikov Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pepe' Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 I think it's positive to let the patients use the internet in your mental hospital where you're being treated. Don't worry I think there might be hope for a complete recovery in 10 to 12 years... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nogutsnoapplepie Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 I think it's positive to let the patients use the internet in your mental hospital where you're being treated.Don't worry I think there might be hope for a complete recovery in 10 to 12 years... I pray for that day to come,oh do I pray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pepe' Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 Don't give up. Miracles do happen. The lord works in stange ways... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nogutsnoapplepie Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 Don't give up. Miracles do happen. The lord works in stange ways... And which Lord would you be refering to Dear Sir? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
royar2002 Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 Don't pay. If you do, her family will ask for money rest of your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jockstar Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 Look! Some families will ask for a dowry. Whatever is ok for you both. It is then shown at a family gathering. It might be 50,000 baht upwards. Can depend on what class your gf comes from. This money is for show. SOME families will give it back to you later on. ie that night or next day. Usually the family understands that its better to give that money back to you and gf for the future. But unfortunatly this is NOt always the case. Why dont you ask her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meemiathai Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 the OP is just another bloody troll! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heng Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 As long as the marriage is between socio-economic equals, there really shouldn't be any question of ACTUAL dowry. Whatever you put on the table is really just for ceremonial show - which actually isn't a true indigenous Thai tradition at all, but actually more of an emulation of Chinese marriages. Of course, after 150-200 years of emulating these marriages, one could very well call it 'traditional.' Who knows, you might be fortunate enough and be on the receiving end as well. It's traditional (at least among the Thai Chinese), to give a parting gift (sometimes a packet of property deeds, cash/home/car, etc.) to the bride and groom, as the bride is now considered part of a new family, and often is only left with a very reduced inheritance from her mother and father. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreedomDude Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 My girlfriend is from a relatively poor rice farming family in Ubon Ratchatani. We've discussed this, and she told me that 100,000 Baht is appropriate. Would it really be appropriate to make a counteroffer? Should I try 60,000? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SK1972 Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 My girlfriend is from a relatively poor rice farming family in Ubon Ratchatani. We've discussed this, and she told me that 100,000 Baht is appropriate.Would it really be appropriate to make a counteroffer? Should I try 60,000? Hahaha.....this is funny.............how did she come up to that amount? Pls ask her...... How does one deem the amount is appropriate? Counteroffer??? Do you think women are livestock mate? How about counteroffering with 50 buffaloes? Sorry couldnt resist............ Heng...it depends on where they have the ceremony and reception....and how much they are willing to spend on it. Sometimes the "gestures" do not cover the cost! Unless their parents are filthy rich, I doubt they are going to get a deed to a big house/land. I think the monetary issues should not exist in wedding/pre-weddings. Causes a lot of tensions and "fights"........which may or may not happen later in the marriage anyway Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
igotworms Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 My friend is getting married shortly. The family (an average Southern Village family) requests B200,000 as a dowry. The dowry will be returned to him minus the costs of the wedding. They have also asked for a cash gift (of no specific value). He's tossing up how much he should give if at all. It's a very sticky situation for him and his fiance. He is fond of her parents, though her siblings are of the leaching ilk. He's not sure if the money will go straight to their pockets. I think he's gonna give 20,000 and wash his hands of the whole mess. He is by no means a rich man and lives on a teaching wage. He's not sure if 20,000 will be high enough or if will be considered an insult, and he's also debating not giving any money at all. He's had to work long and hard to save up for the dowry, and he's more inclined to the Western mentailty of parents giving their children the means to start their lives together (not the other way around). All I can think is poor bastard. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
otherstuff1957 Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 I find dowry degrading to women throughout the world When I was in my early twenties an Indian gangster offered me 100000 British Pounds (more than three million dollars in today's currency) to marry his daughter. THAT was a dowry! So Rod, is she still available? I'm sure my wife would understand . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khutan Posted September 30, 2004 Share Posted September 30, 2004 My wife's mom didn't ask for a dowery. She gave me a nice gold chain and Buddha.And we were given several pieces of property in Sattahip, Bangkok and Samut Sakorn. Not bad... The point is being missed, does your wife have a younger and more beautiful sister ??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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