Songkran Bonus

[a2396]

How much, if anything, are you giving (or expected to be giving) to your darlings (wife or GF) for Songkran, above and beyond your normal contributions?

[dominator]

How much, if anything, are you giving (or expected to be giving) to your darlings (wife or GF) for Songkran, above and beyond your normal contributions?

A bucket of water in the face, of course.

[justin54]

Maybe just help clean up the family Buddha.

Oh, and the bucket of water like dom mentioned.

JL

[Jockstar]

How much, if anything, are you giving (or expected to be giving) to your darlings (wife or GF) for Songkran, above and beyond your normal contributions?

Nothing. Why would you?

above and beyond your normal contributions?

My wife works, so i dont give her any contributions.

[GuestHouse]

How much, if anything, are you giving (or expected to be giving) to your darlings (wife or GF) for Songkran, above and beyond your normal contributions?

What's this normal contribution nonsense ?

[thaihome]

Saw the topic title and assumed this was going to be a discussion of if you should give your employees, like maid, driver, security, etc, something for Songkran. Totally unexpected it was about a wife or GF.

As all our employees (4 total) will have 4 days off for Songkran and 3 of them will travel upcountry to visit family, we will probably give each a couple thousand baht bonus. Won’t be as much as the year end one.

TH

[burman]

Looks like someone has been told about a new Thai cultural aspect, payment for songkran! Whatever next.

[sweetchariot]

How much, if anything, are you giving (or expected to be giving) to your darlings (wife or GF) for Songkran, above and beyond your normal contributions?

I suppose if you are paying her then she is an employee, so a bonus would be appropriate. Do you give her time off as well?

[BigSnake]

How much, if anything, are you giving (or expected to be giving) to your darlings (wife or GF) for Songkran, above and beyond your normal contributions?

A bucket of water in the face, of course.

Yeah, bring it ON

[mrtoad]

How much, if anything, are you giving (or expected to be giving) to your darlings (wife or GF) for Songkran, above and beyond your normal contributions?

I suppose if you are paying her then she is an employee, so a bonus would be appropriate. Do you give her time off as well?

[a2396]

Pardon me for my assumptions, but I am not so fortunate as the rest of you gents, who are hooked up with independent women of means, who require no monthly maintence fees. The reason I asked this is that it was mentioned to me, by my darling, that she would desire and extra amount to bring home to her family during her Songkran visit. I assume that this the equivilent of Thai Christmas of something, probably give me extra points with her parents.

[a2396]

How much, if anything, are you giving (or expected to be giving) to your darlings (wife or GF) for Songkran, above and beyond your normal contributions?

I suppose if you are paying her then she is an employee, so a bonus would be appropriate. Do you give her time off as well?

She has plenty of time off (away from me), since she is a student living in another city and I only see her on weekends. I guess you are another fortunate macho who claims they don't give their wife or GF money?

[sweetchariot]

How much, if anything, are you giving (or expected to be giving) to your darlings (wife or GF) for Songkran, above and beyond your normal contributions?

I suppose if you are paying her then she is an employee, so a bonus would be appropriate. Do you give her time off as well?

She has plenty of time off (away from me), since she is a student living in another city and I only see her on weekends. I guess you are another fortunate macho who claims they don't give their wife or GF money?

I don't think it has anything to do with being macho, more about self respect. But if you are happy with renting a wife/girlfriend that's up to you, I am sure being the boss has it's advantages.

[burman]

Pardon me for my assumptions, but I am not so fortunate as the rest of you gents, who are hooked up with independent women of means, who require no monthly maintence fees. The reason I asked this is that it was mentioned to me, by my darling, that she would desire and extra amount to bring home to her family during her Songkran visit. I assume that this the equivilent of Thai Christmas of something, probably give me extra points with her parents.

Just pay as much money you need to keep her your 'girlfriend' is probably the wisest decision. I wouldn't worry about keeping the parents happy too much, this is not going to be a long term relationship is it.

[way2muchcoffee]

If anyone happens to get involved long-term with one of the 90% or so of Thai ladies earning earn less than 10,000 bt/month, it will be expected that you chip in a bit to help make ends meet. Doubly so if by being with you she is required to live a 15,000 bt/month lifestyle. This is not renting a girlfriend, just common sense I think.

Edited March 25, 2008 by way2muchcoffee

[a2396]

If anyone happens to get involved long-term with one of the 90% or so of Thai ladies earning earn less than 10,000 bt/month, it will be expected that you chip in a bit to help make ends meet. Doubly so if by being with you she is required to live a 15,000 bt/month lifestyle. This is not renting a girlfriend, just common sense I think.

Thank you for your honest observation. She is nowhere near a 15,000 bht range, at least not from me. She is a student and not working. It is interesting to see all the claimants on this forum, who say they pay nothing and/or if you do, you are renting a GF or wife. In my personal aquaintences of foreign men in Thailand, who are with Thai women, I only know one who (appanretly) does not give his lady monthly money.

[a2396]

Pardon me for my assumptions, but I am not so fortunate as the rest of you gents, who are hooked up with independent women of means, who require no monthly maintence fees. The reason I asked this is that it was mentioned to me, by my darling, that she would desire and extra amount to bring home to her family during her Songkran visit. I assume that this the equivilent of Thai Christmas of something, probably give me extra points with her parents.

Just pay as much money you need to keep her your 'girlfriend' is probably the wisest decision. I wouldn't worry about keeping the parents happy too much, this is not going to be a long term relationship is it.

She is the one trying to keep her parents happy, not me. They have got wind that she is involved with a foreigner and have no doubt been counseling her accordingly, ie get money. This is interesting, since her Mother at first advised her not to talk to me to much and not to trust foreigners. As for long-term or not, I don't know. At first, she appeared to be one of the few women I have met here who was not mostly about money, but it seems things have been changing course lately and if she becomes a carbon copy of the others I have met here, it will be a short-term relationship.

[jdinasia]

If anyone happens to get involved long-term with one of the 90% or so of Thai ladies earning earn less than 10,000 bt/month, it will be expected that you chip in a bit to help make ends meet. Doubly so if by being with you she is required to live a 15,000 bt/month lifestyle. This is not renting a girlfriend, just common sense I think.

Thank you for your honest observation. She is nowhere near a 15,000 bht range, at least not from me. She is a student and not working. It is interesting to see all the claimants on this forum, who say they pay nothing and/or if you do, you are renting a GF or wife. In my personal aquaintences of foreign men in Thailand, who are with Thai women, I only know one who (appanretly) does not give his lady monthly money.

Does this say more about you and the folks you know than it does about anything else?

[a2396]

If anyone happens to get involved long-term with one of the 90% or so of Thai ladies earning earn less than 10,000 bt/month, it will be expected that you chip in a bit to help make ends meet. Doubly so if by being with you she is required to live a 15,000 bt/month lifestyle. This is not renting a girlfriend, just common sense I think.

Thank you for your honest observation. She is nowhere near a 15,000 bht range, at least not from me. She is a student and not working. It is interesting to see all the claimants on this forum, who say they pay nothing and/or if you do, you are renting a GF or wife. In my personal aquaintences of foreign men in Thailand, who are with Thai women, I only know one who (appanretly) does not give his lady monthly money.

Does this say more about you and the folks you know than it does about anything else?

You seem to think my situations and experiences here are uique? From all my foreign friends here, this is a common story. No money, no honey. They (the women) will just move on to someone who WILL give them money. I have seen little or no variation to this theme.

[GuestHouse]

You seem to think my situations and experiences here are uique? From all my foreign friends here, this is a common story. No money, no honey. They (the women) will just move on to someone who WILL give them money. I have seen little or no variation to this theme.

That perhaps says more than you wanted it to.

[burman]

We have told you many times, many of us do not pay for our girlfriends and wives.

The reason you are paying is because your girlfriend is a 20+ yr old student and you are a middle aged man. That kind of age gap usually costs some money. I would assume none of your friends date girls that aren't quite a bit younger than themselves?

Accept the relationship is financial and that other people have more normal relationships and move on.

Get ready for a short sharp shock when she finds a young guy with money or becomes independent herself.

Edited March 25, 2008 by burman

[way2muchcoffee]

If anyone happens to get involved long-term with one of the 90% or so of Thai ladies earning earn less than 10,000 bt/month, it will be expected that you chip in a bit to help make ends meet. Doubly so if by being with you she is required to live a 15,000 bt/month lifestyle. This is not renting a girlfriend, just common sense I think.

Thank you for your honest observation. She is nowhere near a 15,000 bht range, at least not from me. She is a student and not working. It is interesting to see all the claimants on this forum, who say they pay nothing and/or if you do, you are renting a GF or wife. In my personal aquaintences of foreign men in Thailand, who are with Thai women, I only know one who (appanretly) does not give his lady monthly money.

Does this say more about you and the folks you know than it does about anything else?

Actually it says more about you I think.

I make considerably more money in a month than my wife can make. If I assist her monetarily in any way I guess that makes her a money-grubbing whore according to your prejudices. Pardon me if I take offense to your attitude.

Now you may say that we're married and we share assets so no problem. But what about during the 4 years we lived together before we were married, or the year we dated before living together?

By the way, when I lived in the states and lived with girlfriends we shared expenses. Since my earnings were generally higher I picked up a larger share of the tab. I think this is completely normal behavior. It's called being a man. If the incomes were reversed I would think that my former girlfriends would have done the same.

Edited March 25, 2008 by way2muchcoffee

[burman]

If the incomes were reversed I would think that my former girlfriends would have done the same.

Now if you ask a2396 what would happen if his and his girlfriend's incomes were reversed you might see the difference.

[a2396]

If anyone happens to get involved long-term with one of the 90% or so of Thai ladies earning earn less than 10,000 bt/month, it will be expected that you chip in a bit to help make ends meet. Doubly so if by being with you she is required to live a 15,000 bt/month lifestyle. This is not renting a girlfriend, just common sense I think.

Thank you for your honest observation. She is nowhere near a 15,000 bht range, at least not from me. She is a student and not working. It is interesting to see all the claimants on this forum, who say they pay nothing and/or if you do, you are renting a GF or wife. In my personal aquaintences of foreign men in Thailand, who are with Thai women, I only know one who (appanretly) does not give his lady monthly money.

Does this say more about you and the folks you know than it does about anything else?

Actually it says more about you I think.

I make 15 times what my wife can make in a month. If I assist her monetarily in any way I guess that makes her a money-grubbing whore according to your prejudices. Pardon me if I take offense to your attitude.

Now you may say that we're married and we share assets so no problem. But what about during the 4 years we lived together before we were married, or the year we dated before living together?

By the way, when I lived in the states and lived with girlfriends we shared expenses. Since my earnings were generally higher I picked up a larger share of the tab. I think this is completely normal behavior. It's called being a man. If the incomes were reversed I would think that my former girlfriends would have done the same.

There's opinions all over the place here: as a previous poster quoted "I don't think it has anything to do with being macho, more about self respect. But if you are happy with renting a wife/girlfriend that's up to you" SO, he says if you are giving them money you are renting them. I asume he means I have no self respect if i give her money? HIS OPINION, NOT MINE.

I have a few foreign men freinds here, younger than me 35-40, who get the same working over with the ladies. One paid her 7,000 per mo (not nearly enough according to her), paid family gambling debts, etc and whined she had nothing in her name, meaning a house or a car.

[sweetchariot]

In my personal aquaintences of foreign men in Thailand, who are with Thai women, I only know one who (appanretly) does not give his lady monthly money.

I only know one that does, and I don't have alot to do with him for that very reason, as I find the arrangement somewhat abhorrent.

Way2muchcoffee - there is a HUGE difference between picking up your fair share, or even all, of the living expenses compared to paying a monthly salary. And that's what a2396 is advocating, and thinks is perfectly normal, paying a salary.

I have done the bargirl scene when I was single, and that was on a transactional basis, but paying someone to be your wife/girlfriend? Come on. I suppose you get a discount on the nightly rate for buying in bulk?

The sad thing is he thinks she is for real when she says 'I love you...........if you give me 15,000 a month'. And I bet he omits to tell his friends and family back home about the financial agreement, when sending them pics of his beautiful Thai wife/gf.

[way2muchcoffee]

Fair enough sweetchariot, i see your point. It often isn't really black and white though.

For example. One of my long-term girlfriends decided to pick up a Master's Degree after we were together about 3 years. We worked out the finances, she took financial aid, and I paid all the rent and most expenses, including her food and transportation, for the five quarters it took her to complete the degree. Sadly we broke it off about a year after she finished so I never got to recoup the investment as it were. The break up was more my doing anyway.

I'm trying to give a2396 the benefit of the doubt here. If his girlfriend is in school it isn't unreasonable for him to offer her some spending cash from time to time. It all depends on the relationship. If she demands money 'or else' that's one thing. If he offers the money because he realizes how tight the money is for any university student anywhere in the world then that is something quite different. If I was in a long-term relationship with someone who was trying to finish a degree I'd absolutely help out financially if I had the means.

I don't know his situation, but I'm not willing to judge without facts. It is so easy to fall into the common assumptions, which may or may not be true in any particular case.

[jdinasia]

If anyone happens to get involved long-term with one of the 90% or so of Thai ladies earning earn less than 10,000 bt/month, it will be expected that you chip in a bit to help make ends meet. Doubly so if by being with you she is required to live a 15,000 bt/month lifestyle. This is not renting a girlfriend, just common sense I think.

Thank you for your honest observation. She is nowhere near a 15,000 bht range, at least not from me. She is a student and not working. It is interesting to see all the claimants on this forum, who say they pay nothing and/or if you do, you are renting a GF or wife. In my personal aquaintences of foreign men in Thailand, who are with Thai women, I only know one who (appanretly) does not give his lady monthly money.

Does this say more about you and the folks you know than it does about anything else?

Actually it says more about you I think.

I make considerably more money in a month than my wife can make. If I assist her monetarily in any way I guess that makes her a money-grubbing whore according to your prejudices. Pardon me if I take offense to your attitude.

Now you may say that we're married and we share assets so no problem. But what about during the 4 years we lived together before we were married, or the year we dated before living together?

By the way, when I lived in the states and lived with girlfriends we shared expenses. Since my earnings were generally higher I picked up a larger share of the tab. I think this is completely normal behavior. It's called being a man. If the incomes were reversed I would think that my former girlfriends would have done the same.

lol, you make lots of points ... all based on something not said or implied. so "pardon me if I take offense to your attitude"

I am glad to know that some of your girlfriends in the states would "have been the man" as you put it, if only they made more money!

Doling out cash to a BF or a GF for living expenses demeans them and you imho. Sharing living expenses is a different story all together So certainly it makes a difference if you are married (or even living together as most places in the west would oft refer to that as common-law marraige)

But to only know one coupled person in Thailand that wasn't putting their other 1/2 on an allowance .. well ..... That does say a lot about a person.

I guess I should ask my Thai BF for a monthly cash stipend since his monthly cashflow is higher than mine! Yeay! thanks for the idea!

[DeathbyDurian]

We have told you many times, many of us do not pay for our girlfriends and wives.

The reason you are paying is because your girlfriend is a 20+ yr old student and you are a middle aged man.

Actually, I am in my mid 20's and I have several friends who pay their girlfriends (two cases I can think of where the girl is actually older than the guy) 'salaries' every month.

Why do they do this? Their answer is "I don't want them to work" or "I like having someone at home to take care of things. If they got a regular job they would always be busy for only 6-10K a month, it's just not worth it."

It isn't my cup of tea but to each their own.

[frankthetank]

hi,

Back to the op's question,

I don't give my tgf a 'bonus' for sonkran.

She asked, the first couple of years, for some money for a sonkran party.

I gave 10000 Baht each occasion.

Now i just give it without her asking, as the party turns out to be great,

They even love my singing in the karaoke!! (well maybe thats because of the lao khao)

But either way, give her whatever you feel comfortable with,

and don't forget the bucket of water!

frank

[way2muchcoffee]

If anyone happens to get involved long-term with one of the 90% or so of Thai ladies earning earn less than 10,000 bt/month, it will be expected that you chip in a bit to help make ends meet. Doubly so if by being with you she is required to live a 15,000 bt/month lifestyle. This is not renting a girlfriend, just common sense I think.

Thank you for your honest observation. She is nowhere near a 15,000 bht range, at least not from me. She is a student and not working. It is interesting to see all the claimants on this forum, who say they pay nothing and/or if you do, you are renting a GF or wife. In my personal aquaintences of foreign men in Thailand, who are with Thai women, I only know one who (appanretly) does not give his lady monthly money.

Does this say more about you and the folks you know than it does about anything else?

Actually it says more about you I think.

I make considerably more money in a month than my wife can make. If I assist her monetarily in any way I guess that makes her a money-grubbing whore according to your prejudices. Pardon me if I take offense to your attitude.

Now you may say that we're married and we share assets so no problem. But what about during the 4 years we lived together before we were married, or the year we dated before living together?

By the way, when I lived in the states and lived with girlfriends we shared expenses. Since my earnings were generally higher I picked up a larger share of the tab. I think this is completely normal behavior. It's called being a man. If the incomes were reversed I would think that my former girlfriends would have done the same.

lol, you make lots of points ... all based on something not said or implied. so "pardon me if I take offense to your attitude"

I am glad to know that some of your girlfriends in the states would "have been the man" as you put it, if only they made more money!

Doling out cash to a BF or a GF for living expenses demeans them and you imho. Sharing living expenses is a different story all together So certainly it makes a difference if you are married (or even living together as most places in the west would oft refer to that as common-law marraige)

But to only know one coupled person in Thailand that wasn't putting their other 1/2 on an allowance .. well ..... That does say a lot about a person.

I guess I should ask my Thai BF for a monthly cash stipend since his monthly cashflow is higher than mine! Yeay! thanks for the idea!

Ok then. All of the relationships in which I assisted my partner or vice versa were live together situations. There have been three of those, each lasting about 5 years, including my wife with whom I've been with for 6 years.

I don't know if you should ask your rich boyfriend for a stipend, but if the disparity of incomes is considerable I hope he treats you to some nice holidays and nights out on the town.

Edited March 25, 2008 by way2muchcoffee