Foreign Husbands Speaking Thai To Their Kids

[kiakaha]

Over the last couple of days here in Phuket, I've seen a a few foreign husbands speaking Thai to their kids.

I really don't see any reason for this as they should be speaking to them in their mother

tongue so the kids

can be bilingual. Anyone have any idea why it is preferable to speak Thai to yo

ur kids when you are not Thai?

I would think that most parents would want their kids to be bilingual and speak

each native language like a

native. I would certainly not like my kids speaking Thai like myself, nor would

I want them speaking English

like my wife. I'm not saying it's either good nor bad, but just trying to understand why the native tongue isn't used.

P.S. Not sure why the formatting turned out like it did, but I guess the forum software doesn't like my browser.

well if they can speak/read/write/pronounce thai properly, no problem.

however if they are in the "i know a bunch of phrases and words but cant read/write or pronounce properly but still think i'm fluent", then they should probably stick to their native tongue.

How would a "i know a bunch of phrases and words but cant read/write or pronounce properly but still think i'm fluent" person know that they belonged to this group?

sadly they wouldn't...the phrase "head in the clouds" comes to mind...but from 12 years of living/working here and being exposed to countless people who claim "fluency"..i know they are out there

[garro]

Over the last couple of days here in Phuket, I've seen a a few foreign husbands speaking Thai to their kids.

I really don't see any reason for this as they should be speaking to them in their mother

tongue so the kids

can be bilingual. Anyone have any idea why it is preferable to speak Thai to yo

ur kids when you are not Thai?

I would think that most parents would want their kids to be bilingual and speak

each native language like a

native. I would certainly not like my kids speaking Thai like myself, nor would

I want them speaking English

like my wife. I'm not saying it's either good nor bad, but just trying to understand why the native tongue isn't used.

P.S. Not sure why the formatting turned out like it did, but I guess the forum software doesn't like my browser.

well if they can speak/read/write/pronounce thai properly, no problem.

however if they are in the "i know a bunch of phrases and words but cant read/write or pronounce properly but still think i'm fluent", then they should probably stick to their native tongue.

How would a "i know a bunch of phrases and words but cant read/write or pronounce properly but still think i'm fluent" person know that they belonged to this group?

sadly they wouldn't...the phrase "head in the clouds" comes to mind...but from 12 years of living/working here and being exposed to countless people who claim "fluency"..i know they are out there

I am confused by what the stipulation about reading and writing??

I can read and write a bit of Thai, but I know some Thais that can't.

Should I be discouraging them speaking with my child????

[Dakhar]

Over the last couple of days here in Phuket, I've seen a a few foreign husbands speaking Thai to their kids.  

I really don't see any reason for this as they should be speaking to them in their mother

 tongue so the kids 

can be bilingual.  Anyone have any idea why it is preferable to speak Thai to yo

ur kids when you are not Thai? 

I would think that most parents would want their kids to be bilingual and speak 

each native language like a 

native. I would certainly not like my kids speaking Thai like myself, nor would 

I want them speaking English 

like my wife. I'm not saying it's either good nor bad, but just trying to understand why the native tongue isn't used.

P.S. Not sure why the formatting turned out like it did, but I guess the forum software doesn't like my browser.

As an Expert, Doctorate in Audiology, BS in communication disorders.... I'd say..... It is the father's child not yours, so but-t out.

[solent01]

As an Expert, Doctorate in Audiology, BS in communication disorders.... I'd say..... It is the father's child not yours, so but-t out.

The answer I would give to the OP is "Because they can"

[Thai at Heart]

I did and I regret it.

As a result my step children's command of the English language is poor.

What do you mean astral?

Did you only speak Thai around your child?

I'm interested as I want to learn what mistakes to avoid.

I want my son to speak fluent English, after all I teach it, so your views will be most appreciated.

I don't want to be too strict though.

You speak in your mother tongue to the kids, partner speaks in mother tongue to the kids. They subconciously start to realise which face to speak which language to. They get mixed up with numbers and such for about a year or so aged 4/5 and then at about age 6 there a bilingual kid. Simple really.

[pop3]

One word: Context

Wife and I speak pretty much exclusively in English at home when it is just us and our daughter.

When the nanny is about, I switch to 50% Thai. I speak to the nanny in Thai and Thai to my daughter when she is around the nanny.

Same when we are out and about. If shopping etc, I'll speak Thai (of course) to those around me, and when in that situation, I'll speak Thai with my daughter. Seems natural enough to me. You are in that environment, you speak the language.

If it is one on one, we switch back to English.

................................................................

The above statment says it all, ( context ) it is rude to speak a language that the majority around you can not understand unless you have no choice, if you can speak the language of the majority then you should speak it...

[Captain Chaos]

Over the last couple of days here in Phuket, I've seen a a few foreign husbands speaking Thai to their kids.  

I really don't see any reason for this as they should be speaking to them in their mother

 tongue so the kids 

can be bilingual.  Anyone have any idea why it is preferable to speak Thai to yo

ur kids when you are not Thai? 

I would think that most parents would want their kids to be bilingual and speak 

each native language like a 

native. I would certainly not like my kids speaking Thai like myself, nor would 

I want them speaking English 

like my wife. I'm not saying it's either good nor bad, but just trying to understand why the native tongue isn't used.

P.S. Not sure why the formatting turned out like it did, but I guess the forum software doesn't like my browser.

In principle I agree with you, but sometimes there are practical considerations.

For example, my stepson didn't speak ANY English when he first came to stay with us --- so I had no choice but to speak my (poor) Thai with him to communicate full stop! So it could be something like that?

For the record, he's doing intensive English 121 tuition these days and is getting up to speed very quickly. Ain't kids great?

CC

[onethailand]

There is when they are young - it hinders their learning in their second language and to a lesser degree their first.

So by speaking Thai to them, I am hindering their learning in English - and to a lesser degree their Thai?

I guess my kids must not be normal then, since both daughters get As in English and my son speaks both languages fluently and can spell words even we adults use rarely

[slapout]

The Minister of Education made the same statement a few years back. Teaching English in early grades would confuse the students learning Thai. This goes against what most educators have been preaching for years. I expect this type of thing from a Ministry in Thailand but not TV members.

[Neeranam]

There is when they are young - it hinders their learning in their second language and to a lesser degree their first.

So by speaking Thai to them, I am hindering their learning in English(In my opinion, and experts in the linguistic field, yes) - and to a lesser degree their Thai? (Yes. unless you are of of the minority of flawless Thai-speaking foreignrs, which you're probably not) I guess my kids must not be normal then, since both daughters get As in English and my son speaks both languages fluently and can spell words even we adults use rarely You don't have to pay others at an international scool to enable your kids to speak your language.

[huggybear]

Over the last couple of days here in Phuket, I've seen a a few foreign husbands speaking Thai to their kids.

I really don't see any reason for this as they should be speaking to them in their mother

tongue so the kids

can be bilingual. Anyone have any idea why it is preferable to speak Thai to yo

ur kids when you are not Thai?

I would think that most parents would want their kids to be bilingual and speak

each native language like a

native. I would certainly not like my kids speaking Thai like myself, nor would

I want them speaking English

like my wife. I'm not saying it's either good nor bad, but just trying to understand why the native tongue isn't used.

P.S. Not sure why the formatting turned out like it did, but I guess the forum software doesn't like my browser.

As an Expert, Doctorate in Audiology, BS in communication disorders.... I'd say..... It is the father's child not yours, so but-t out.

I'm surprised such an educated person is so hard-headed.

Are you related to the Bush family?

[onethailand]

So by speaking Thai to them, I am hindering their learning in English(In my opinion, and experts in the linguistic field, yes) - and to a lesser degree their Thai? (Yes. unless you are of of the minority of flawless Thai-speaking foreignrs, which you're probably not) I guess my kids must not be normal then, since both daughters get As in English and my son speaks both languages fluently and can spell words even we adults use rarely You don't have to pay others at an international scool to enable your kids to speak your language.

LOL.

1. My parents are linguists. My father speaks, reads and writes 12 languages including Greek, Hebrew and Latin. My mother 6. They chose to speak mostly English to me (not their mother tongue). Did that stop me from understanding their native language? No - but I don't speak it either because I barely lived in that country.

I think I will agree to disagree.

2. I am obviously not a flawless Thai-speaking foreigner

3. English is a side benefit of going to an international school. The main reason is because they are taught to be creative and think for themselves, as opposed to most Thai schools.

[AGareth2]

Maybe they are so ignorant that they can't speak their own native tongue properly

[jstumbo]

Imagine this scenario...

Mother, (Thai), father, (English), and son all having a conversation. Following the OP's logic the mother has to speak in Thai, the father in English. So what language should the son reply in?

I speak both English and Thai to my son as does his mother. I guess it is adversely affecting him as he only seems to reply "da da da da" or something similar. Perhaps we should all try learning Spanish and stick to that instead.

My wife's family do this all the time. They are all Chinese. My MIL will be talking in Hakka, which is a local dialect, my wife will answer in Cantonese or Mandarin and maybe her brother will say something in some other dialect of Chinese.

I would only have the native speaker speaking to the child in that language if it was me. Plus it forces the child to use that language with that parent. Otherwise it confuses the child as to which language they should use with that parent.

As for what language should the child speak, depends on who he is talking to. If the father, English, the mother, in Thai. Happens all the time. Kids are great at it.

Edited April 22, 2008 by jstumbo

[TheDon]

I dont see any problem with it, it does not hinder anything as alot of you people in australia with asian/euro parents who cant speak english properly and they grow up find and can speak both asia/euro and english perfectly.

I think this thread is just silly

[astral]

I did and I regret it.

As a result my step children's command of the English language is poor.

What do you mean astral?

Did you only speak Thai around your child?

Yes, I only spoke Thai.

I felt the need to communicate was more important.

I realise I should have used English and coped with the initial lack of understanding.

He was only 6 when I married his Mum.

In retrospect I think he would have picked it up quickly.

I guess I was very worried about appearing to be the "wicked step father"

by imposing my will.

[SeanPhuket]

Over the last couple of days here in Phuket, I've seen a a few foreign husbands speaking Thai to their kids.  

I really don't see any reason for this as they should be speaking to them in their mother

 tongue so the kids 

can be bilingual.  Anyone have any idea why it is preferable to speak Thai to yo

ur kids when you are not Thai? 

I would think that most parents would want their kids to be bilingual and speak 

each native language like a 

native. I would certainly not like my kids speaking Thai like myself, nor would 

I want them speaking English 

like my wife. I'm not saying it's either good nor bad, but just trying to understand why the native tongue isn't used.

P.S. Not sure why the formatting turned out like it did, but I guess the forum software doesn't like my browser.

hi, for me, i would speak thai with my kid because: have u ever seen a young kid at the age of around 4 with a thai mother and foreign father? what u may find is that the kid obviously has difficulty working out what is what and he still cant even speak at the age of 4. if my kid couldn't speak at this age i wouldn't feel so good. also perhaps the father feels the kid should learn the national language first, after all this is thailand and thais' speak thai.

[YoungFarang13]

that is a good point. those from England and Australia can barely speak their own language.

[Thai at Heart]

Over the last couple of days here in Phuket, I've seen a a few foreign husbands speaking Thai to their kids.  

I really don't see any reason for this as they should be speaking to them in their mother

 tongue so the kids 

can be bilingual.  Anyone have any idea why it is preferable to speak Thai to yo

ur kids when you are not Thai? 

I would think that most parents would want their kids to be bilingual and speak 

each native language like a 

native. I would certainly not like my kids speaking Thai like myself, nor would 

I want them speaking English 

like my wife. I'm not saying it's either good nor bad, but just trying to understand why the native tongue isn't used.

P.S. Not sure why the formatting turned out like it did, but I guess the forum software doesn't like my browser.

hi, for me, i would speak thai with my kid because: have u ever seen a young kid at the age of around 4 with a thai mother and foreign father? what u may find is that the kid obviously has difficulty working out what is what and he still cant even speak at the age of 4. if my kid couldn't speak at this age i wouldn't feel so good. also perhaps the father feels the kid should learn the national language first, after all this is thailand and thais' speak thai.

They are learning language, and of course but my 4 and 6 year old natter away perfectly well in both English and Thai. Oh boo hoo, little johnny has to learn two languages and his poor little head can't handle it. Swiss kids manage 4 no problem.

[YoungFarang13]

the competition for being the flavor of the month soap model will sky rocket in the near future. kind of shocked that many of these blokes had it in them.

[dumspero]

There's no one right way for everybody. And we don't know the particular facts with this case. But sure, the guy may have been showing off, and if so, good for him.

So many kids in the US, for example, grow up speaking multiple languages under various arrangements in their homes in terms of who speaks which languages to them and under what circumstances. The kids tend to sort it all out. Isn't this old news?

In response to the anti-Bush post, I have to say I fear the liberal-leaning do-gooders who want to impose their own, specific, only-way-to-live-life mandate on others far more than the crazy right on its worst day. How many scholars have warned that we should fear totalinarianism creeping in from the left far more than it sweeping in from the right? I guess this is just one more intolerant, from-the-left post intended to shame the poor guy who lives his life with his family as they deem apprropriate instead of how the poster knows in all his wisdom is the only way to live.

[adjan jb]

My son is 6 years old.

His mother speaks Thai and “Chiang Mai” to him.

I speak French to him.

At home his mother and I speak a mixture of English, Thai and CM (with a pinch of French)

My son is fluent in both Thai and Chiang Mai. He’s not fluent in French but he speaks it quite well. Anyway, it comes naturally to him. There’s no doubt in my mind that he will soon be fluent.

He also understands English quite well. Actually he surprised me a lot a few months ago when he started to translate into French what I was saying in English to his mother.

He can switch from one language to another without the slightest hesitation.

When buying/renting American cartoons/movies, he always opts for the original soundtrack. The same applies to French movies and cartoons.

One of my French friends (20 years in Thailand, fluent in Thai) has never spoken French to his sons. They are now teenagers who can’t speak or understand a word of French. Having attended (and dropped out of) Gvt schools they can’t speak a word of English either (you know what I mean). He regret it. All his friends’ children are at least bilingual, if not trilingual.

That said I have no advice to offer. As one poster put it there’s no one and only right way to raise children.

[patongpanda]

I try to speak Thai with my son, because we are in Thailand!

My Thai is not very good, but I hope to learn along with my son.

He is speaking South Thai language, which is new to me. When I don't understand he says in English and looks at me like I'm a bit daft.

I am a little bit worried as I am the only English speaking influence (he goes to Thai school).

Anybody got any links to useful information for bilingual families?

[adjan jb]

Anybody got any links to useful information for bilingual families?

http://www.bilingualfamiliesconnect.com/

[billd766]

Over the last couple of days here in Phuket, I've seen a a few foreign husbands speaking Thai to their kids.

I really don't see any reason for this as they should be speaking to them in their mother

tongue so the kids

can be bilingual. Anyone have any idea why it is preferable to speak Thai to yo

ur kids when you are not Thai?

I would think that most parents would want their kids to be bilingual and speak

each native language like a

native. I would certainly not like my kids speaking Thai like myself, nor would

I want them speaking English

like my wife. I'm not saying it's either good nor bad, but just trying to understand why the native tongue isn't used.

P.S. Not sure why the formatting turned out like it did, but I guess the forum software doesn't like my browser.

hi, for me, i would speak thai with my kid because: have u ever seen a young kid at the age of around 4 with a thai mother and foreign father? what u may find is that the kid obviously has difficulty working out what is what and he still cant even speak at the age of 4. if my kid couldn't speak at this age i wouldn't feel so good. also perhaps the father feels the kid should learn the national language first, after all this is thailand and thais' speak thai.

I see a young boy of nearly 4 every day and he has a Thai Mother and an English father. He speaks Thai very well and understands English up to a point as most of the time he is surrounded by Thais. He can also speak and understand some Muser which is a hill tribe dialect spoken by the people who work on the land where he lives. He goes to a Thai school where he will learn some English as well.

All in all I am quite proud of my son and I am confident that he will do well in his chosen career, whatever that may be.

My son with his older friend

Young farang 13

Quote

that is a good point. those from England and Australia can barely speak their own language.

I cannot comment about Australia as my only visit was when the flight to Port Moresby was diverted to Darwin airport which is hardly the cultural centre of Australia

For the current crop of children leaving school in the UK I can probably agree with but when I left school at 15 in 1959 everybody could read, write, comprehend, understand mathematics (no calculators in those days) and had both the ability and willingness to work hard. We were also taught to use our memory and to rely on ourselves first.

We were also allowed to play unsupervised, have accidents and blame nobody but ourselves.

I could go on for a long time about the "good old days" but only us oldies would understand.

[garro]

the competition for being the flavor of the month soap model will sky rocket in the near future. kind of shocked that many of these blokes had it in them.

Hi YoungFarang 13/blizzard (?), interesting comments you have there. Care to elaborate?

[YoungFarang13]

have seen farang fathers in their mid-late fifties (at child's birth) have seen many who might be in their 60's. who is blizzard?

[Thai at Heart]

I try to speak Thai with my son, because we are in Thailand!

My Thai is not very good, but I hope to learn along with my son.

He is speaking South Thai language, which is new to me. When I don't understand he says in English and looks at me like I'm a bit daft.

I am a little bit worried as I am the only English speaking influence (he goes to Thai school).

Anybody got any links to useful information for bilingual families?

There are good books on the subject on Amazon also. I bought one when my kids were born written by two language professors in the UK, French/English speaking father and English/Welsh speaking mother who studied every combination of family language basis.

Whether or not in the original thread, the dad spoke Thai to his kids all the time, I am still bemused as to why foreign parents are concerned about their kids learning Thai properly. If the kids are in Thailand, that is the easiest language for them to learn. For me as an English speaking parent who wants his kids to speak English, I have taken the oppurtunity to start their English language before they go to school. With extended family/maids all speaking Thai around the kids, what benefit is it for me to add one more voice of probably gramatically incorrect Thai into the mix.

Would any of us want your kids learning English from our wives? I apologise to those who have wives are close to fluent in English.

[YoungFarang13]

Would any of us want your kids learning English from our wives?

"daddy why you no give me money for chocolate?"

[Thai at Heart]

Would any of us want your kids learning English from our wives?

"daddy why you no give me money for chocolate?"

Well mine don't ask me like that.