How Much Do You Pay Your Thai Fiance's Mom?

[lardy]

The "REAL MEN" on the forum claim they don't pay their wife/GF family or the girl nothin'. Your self-respect and hers - out the window. It seems although, that they buy houses and vehicles, gold and other what not's in the sole name of their "true love", in lieu of cash monthly payments. Take her & Mama house shopping. One or two million ought to be good for starters.

Well my wife is one of 10 children, of the married sisters,none were /are bgs,. here are her comments when asked this question, normally its a volunteered amount, not a demand or or a request, one of the husbands gave flowers as he had no money, he told mother in law he was in love with her sister and would look after her, they are still 20 years on happily married,other dowrys ranged from 6.500 baht to 150.000..by the way 2 of the husbands are farang, neither of us has been asked for a penny since the marriage, so whether its "REAL MEN " or not i dont know, but i think its more like is it a "REAL " woman,or a gold digging bg,..in most cases where people i know have married a bg they do pay monthly as in most cases they have had their girlfriend quit work, then of course the wages have stopped and the men take over as breadwinner,.unfortunatly greed also takes over and the family in most of these cases get out the farang milking machine,.some can see this coming,others jump right in,.if it smells wrong, it will be,.

Best answer here!!

[TheDon]

Its funny, most the people I know with Thai wives dont pay the mother inlaw anything, I know of only one guy, but he does everything for his wife and she wears the pants in there relationship. I know Thai's and farangs who dont give anything. I think these girls most people meet are having you on.

Look I can understand you may send a small amount of money a month if her parents are poor, but if they dont have any money problems and well off why would you.

[lardy]

Thank you for the comments. That is very helpful.

I don't believe this smells bad. Currently, her neighbors daughter and other young ladies in her villiage have married Farang's and one Farang paid 2M Baht. Since then, she has asked me how much I am going to give her mama. I don't know exactly how to answer...yet.

If all the other Farangs in the village jumped off a cliff would you?

Give them nothing "REAL THAI" women dont want any money "REALGREEDY THAIS" Will take anything they can get moneywise.

As for giving them already $500 a month Id bail out now if I was you there are many "real" Thai women out there.

My wife knows many Thai women who's sole interest is "Farang Money" and she is appalled by it I know of at least two now personaly who are telling me how they have hooked a sad ole/young git who is sending them money and they have mno ibterest except this money but will happily tell you they "love you"

My wifes parents are both dead and he Mum DID NOT want any money and she wasn't rich she just wanted her daughter happy with a nice kind man.......... oh well she got me instead!!

[egg6447]

you send her 500 USD a month? how much was she living on a month before you came along? its your money so do with it what you want, but something does not add up here.

Yes, $500 a month, which is 15,000 Baht. What are your thought, specifically.

haveing got this far. i think your a troll/hope your a troll for your sake. oh my god i feel sick. other falang in her village proved there gullibility and you have to. A. follow suit. B. outdo the loony brigade C. i,m hopeing your trying to extrct the urine

[egg6447]

What is sin sot?

now you,ve got to be trolling. but i have to stick the thread out to the end to see how far you can go.

[jfchandler]

Uhhhhh.... I think... Young Farang13 was being a bit sarcastic here.. taking a swipe at the relative young age of your lady..compared to yours.... (Mind you, I personally don't have any problem with it... in fact...have been known to like it myself...)

But..in the odd chance I'm wrong... you're seriously talking about your future 20 something wife going out to party with teenagers in L.A.?????

What school did you earn your MBA from... I sure hope it wasn't my old university in Los Angeles!!!! If it was...I'm calling the dean tomorrow!!!

just curious, if she is in the usa and some of the other teenagers invite her to a party is she allowed to go?

Yeah, she can go. I'm not going to tie her down and have her miss being young. That would be mean. I will have to accept the inherent risks associated with marrying a younger lady..... I may have to tag along if that kind of thing happens often Given the age difference, the risk is absolutly there. A good pre-nup, that's the ticket. Without that, I wouldn't even consider doing this.

[chiang mai]

forget yourself and the money for an instance and face reality, the mother has worked very hard all her life to raise the daughter, the daughter loves her mm and the mom has no pension, so, you pay 100.000 baht dowry or so to make your girlfriend's dream come true; finally a lucky break for her mom, so she can buy stuff, then there's the no-pension, so you send 2.000-5.000 Baht every month

that's the normal situation, strictly speaking it's just very human in this reality

of course; there are also a bunch of b!tches out there, so the money shouldn't be the question; the question is if your GF is sincere or not ... how long are you together with her?

Agreed.

[TheDon]

If they are starving or struggling to get buy give them a small amount. $500 USD a month is silly, that is WAY TOO MUCH

[koheesti]

My wife and I don't pay a "salary"

We send money to the parents, just as she and her brother and sisters have always done... since before I became a family member.

I'm happy to help.

Happy to help is great. Required to help is BS. IF I married someone from poorer background I would be happy to help the in-laws but if they told me that I was required to pay such and such I'd tell them "no".

[egg6447]

What is sin sot?

thai words for dowry presented to wifes parents at marriage ceremony, and then given back to the couple afterwards (traditionally). there is a sticky in the general forum on it. if you dont speak thai yet... maybe its not the best time to get married?

yes but there in love. after all hes probably known her, for ohhh, two weeks. at least my humour has returned now that i see it as a windup

[TheDon]

It would be nice to know how long he has known her also me thinks

[koheesti]

You pay for sex 10 years in advance? What a guy? I know some local ladies who would like to meet you. One recently asked me for 7 million sinsod. Let's see -- that's about 23 years of fun & frolic. I figured about 3 per wk. Could be a good investment, since the price of this commodity is bound increase due to inflation.

The "commodity" will likely be past it's "best before" date so no, it's not a good investment.

[meadish_sweetball]

People who haven't read the sticky thread on sin sod might find it interesting, even if they don't agree.

In the end, it's all about what you and your partner feel comfortable with, but I'd feel terrible to be running my relationship with my wife and her family like a series of economic transactions, and if my wife started bartering with me, emotionally or otherwise, I'd get the hades out of dodge, because that is not how I want my marriage or relationship to be.

[a2396]

You pay for sex 10 years in advance? What a guy? I know some local ladies who would like to meet you. One recently asked me for 7 million sinsod. Let's see -- that's about 23 years of fun & frolic. I figured about 3 per wk. Could be a good investment, since the price of this commodity is bound increase due to inflation.

The "commodity" will likely be past it's "best before" date so no, it's not a good investment.

Perhaps! She will be 43 & he 63 or thereabouts. I've heard Thai ladies like to "hang up their spurs" after age 40 or so. I think they (the ladies) should come with an expiry date, so you know how to plan for the future.

[koheesti]

just curious, if she is in the usa and some of the other teenagers invite her to a party is she allowed to go?

Yeah, she can go. I'm not going to tie her down and have her miss being young. That would be mean. I will have to accept the inherent risks associated with marrying a younger lady..... I may have to tag along if that kind of thing happens often Given the age difference, the risk is absolutly there. A good pre-nup, that's the ticket. Without that, I wouldn't even consider doing this.

If you get suspicious ask if her new young friend will send mom her monthly stipend because you won't be anymore. Of course, word it in a nicer way that that.

[a2396]

I don't give my own Mum 8-10'000B a month.

Am I being tight.......

My own Father would not and never has, given me that amout of money, not even for Christmas. But, he originated the word "tightwad".

[rgs2001uk]

If she comes, she'll be here in Los Angeles with a Thai community and lot's of good Thai restaurants.

Big, big mistake. My advice is to keep her well away from the 'influences' of the local Thai community - in fact, keep her in Thailand.

High proportion of ex-bargirls all backstabbing & bitching about each other, cheating on their ageing husbands with the young bucks, all trying to out do each other in the status stakes.

Lieing, deception, multiple marriages, the systematic looting of assets & money & this is only the wives, wait till you meet some of the husbands.

You being a MBA & CFO & all, will be a prime target & unless your little angel has had a bit of 'Pattaya' time they will chew her up & spit her out. They will turn her into something that you will not believe.

I have seen it all, this tragi-comedy of mismatched souls, predator & prey, so predictable, like an out of control freight train. Don't be another statistic.

Negative - yes, because this whole situation is negative. I think you desperately need a reality check.

Keep her in Thailand - if you decide to take her with you, make sure that YOU choose her friends well.

LooseCannon,

i would like to say this is one of the truest and most sensible replies i have seen on thaivisa ever.

i can assure you its not restricted to the states, it was an eyeopener to see whats goes on in england, you didnt even touch on the subjects of gambling and moneylending and the fact that there is always some old crow the girls all call aunt who controls everything.

in the past few months my wife and i have been offered a 6million baht house that some poor sucker bought for his teerak, the price was 3million baht cash, the husband in england doesnt have a clue whats going on.

its just as bad in australia as well, dont have the time or the inclanation to list specifics.

there are decent thai girls living abroad, they can see right through whats going on and avoid their fellow thais like the plague, it would appear if the girl doesnt spend all day drinking whisky and playing cards she is seen as some sort of snob, as a fellow poster always says, it starts in the selection process.

as you say wait until you meet some of the husbands

[LooseCannon]

......... She is from Southern Thailand and she explained to me about the sin sodt and said "but we don't really do that anymore" and that was all I heard about. She has explained to me about the poorer girls in the northeast. She said "Their parents teach them to lie, cheat, and steal to survive, so it's very accepting of them to do this. It's natural for them." She said "Most real Thai's do no trust them. They aren't real Thai's anyway. They are only good for labor" I'm sure what she said might upset some people, but I thought I would let you guys know. Word of advice. Don't go to bar's looking for a g/f or potential wife and don't marry prostitutes!. That doesn't even work well in first world countries, so why would you think it would work out any better here?

I have had almost exactly the experience as you.

My wife's mother decided that sin sot was not necessary because I was a falang, & thus it did not apply to me.

Never did she ask any money, we have never given her money, because she always had her own.

Many years ago, her elder brother asked to borrow money once, around B100,000 for an emergency hole-in-the-heart operation for his son, which was paid back within a couple of months. More recently, a brother-in-law died of a heart attack, leaving my wife's sister in debt, & as favour to her my wife bought a block of land from her (we didn't really want it but it helped the sister out).

My wife is ethnic 'Thai' from central Thailand & she has said very similar things about the northeast.

"Isaan should not be part of Thailand", "they are not real Thais", "they are all alchoholics, lazy & sell their daughters to become prostitutes", "they bring shame on Thailand" etc.

I was really shocked the first time that I heard her say these things & did a little asking around, & found it to be widely held view amongst the ethnic 'Thai'.

This must somehow be related to the push to rename Thailand back to Siam which seems to have made a bit of a resurgence, trying to be a bit more inclusive.

I am not trying to offend anybody here, but just stating something that a lot of people may not be aware of.

[a2396]

If she comes, she'll be here in Los Angeles with a Thai community and lot's of good Thai restaurants.

Big, big mistake. My advice is to keep her well away from the 'influences' of the local Thai community - in fact, keep her in Thailand.

High proportion of ex-bargirls all backstabbing & bitching about each other, cheating on their ageing husbands with the young bucks, all trying to out do each other in the status stakes.

Lieing, deception, multiple marriages, the systematic looting of assets & money & this is only the wives, wait till you meet some of the husbands.

You being a MBA & CFO & all, will be a prime target & unless your little angel has had a bit of 'Pattaya' time they will chew her up & spit her out. They will turn her into something that you will not believe.

I have seen it all, this tragi-comedy of mismatched souls, predator & prey, so predictable, like an out of control freight train. Don't be another statistic.

Negative - yes, because this whole situation is negative. I think you desperately need a reality check.

Keep her in Thailand - if you decide to take her with you, make sure that YOU choose her friends well.

Excellent advice. I have revised (upward) my previous opinion of you. When she gets to USA the "rule-book" if there was one in Thailand, will go out the window. Anything goes in USA and she will be outside the control and guidance of her family.

[sriracha john]

Okay, the issue has been resolved.

[egg6447]

She has explained to me about the poorer girls in the northeast. She said "Their parents teach them to lie, cheat, and steal to survive, so it's very accepting of them to do this. It's natural for them." She said "Most real Thai's do no trust them. They aren't real Thai's anyway. They are only good for labor" I'm sure what she said might upset some people, but I thought I would let you guys know. Word of advice. Don't go to bar's looking for a g/f or potential wife and don't marry prostitutes!. That doesn't even work well in first world countries, so why would you think it would work out any better here?

well thanks for the word of advise. thank god my education stops me from gaining advice from a third world person. albeight yours is, as is mine brighter than the average thai. i liked the advice dont marry prostitutes. well somebody does and that is the fact of it all over the world. and guess what, they all fall in the brackets of normality. so i cant accept your partners advice. some advice of my own would be to walk away from a person, male/female, who holds such unbelievable oppinions of the working class in thailand. her comments are very similar to the ruleing/landed gentry class pre war. read first world war. hope you have a good live together. you deserve each other.

[deathstardan]

This is a 100% genuine post and reflect my experience only.

In my time in LOS I have had 3 "Serious" relationships. One with a daughter of Isaan and two with native Bangkokonians.

The girl from Isaan was a nightmare, constantly asking for money, for herself ,her family and her friends. She would have temper tantrums and I would catch her out lying all of the time. When I finally finished with her she reported me to the ministry of labour for having no work permit and they turned up at my place of work and the matter was resolved within in a minute when I produced said item from my desk.

The two natives of Bangkok were totally opposite, one was a lawyer and one was a school teacher. BOTH of them would never even dream to ask me for money and would insist on contributing to dates etc. BOTH of them bought me gifts on a regular basis and not one time ever, did I ever feel like I was being taken advantage of. BOTH of them had good jobs and apart from a holiday abroad, Non of them wanted to move to another country.

BOTH of them were very proud and independent and it makes me think that because they had been educated they had totally different values.

(and the lawyer, I miss her terribly)

[jfchandler]

Nice post... Always worth keeping mind...there are some very good Thai ladies out there... The trick is finding them... among all the chaff and sin sod miners...

[WeeGB]

Here's my experience. I married a girl from Phetchabon, who was employed in a hotel. I married at her house and was asked for 250,000 Baht. I paid 50,000. After we'd been married a couple of years, living in the UK, I decided I wanted to build a house for the two of us, in Thailand. Her mother ( father deceased), offered us a piece of her land, provided I paid for the legal paperwork, city hall fees etc. This cost me around 15,000 baht, and this was for city hall to come, measure, divide the land up between her family, issue deeds etc. I also paid for some of her family to take the day off work, and bus fares etc, because I thought that was fair, we needed their signatures to divide everything up. I did not pay any money for the actual land, which is approx one square rai. My wife's sister knew a builder, who showed us a house he'd already built. He built us a 3 bed/2 bathroom house for 700,000 baht in 2002. We live here, very comfortably, with all mod cons, including cable TV, internet, for around 10,000 Baht a month. I have never been asked for, or given any money since we married, though I always give her Mum a couple of thousand Baht, if she goes away on holiday with our local Temple, which is usually a couple of times a year. If my wife and I have holidays, we often take her Mum, but that's my choice. I get on really well with her family, who appreciate that my paying for dividing up the land, has given them all deeds to their own houses,and thus they will avoid the possible squabbling that would have taken place, when her Mum passes on.

Wages in our village range from 3-10,000 Baht.

This 20 year old girl sounds as though she's stringing you along. She also sounds extremely immature, I really don't understand the attraction you have here. I would think long and hard about this relationship, preferably with a break, before you commit yourself to anything. I don't believe anyone, except the really rich families would get 2m baht for a dowry. Having seen other Thai girls behaviour in the UK, I suspect, once she gets to the USA, you won't see her flip-flops for dust! To use an American parlance, wake up and smell the coffee!

[mark lamai]

"I've heard Thai ladies like to "hang up their spurs" after age 40 or so. ""

yoiks!! is that true?????

if i find a 35yo girlfriend i only get 5 years of activity?

[JetsetBkk]

"I've heard Thai ladies like to "hang up their spurs" after age 40 or so. ""

yoiks!! is that true?????

if i find a 35yo girlfriend i only get 5 years of activity?

It depends...

[pumpuiman]

My wife and I don't pay a "salary"

We send money to the parents, just as she and her brother and sisters have always done... since before I became a family member.

I'm happy to help.

Happy to help is great. Required to help is BS. IF I married someone from poorer background I would be happy to help the in-laws but if they told me that I was required to pay such and such I'd tell them "no".

I would see red as well. It's purely voluntary.

[burman]

My wife is ethnic 'Thai' from central Thailand & she has said very similar things about the northeast.

"Isaan should not be part of Thailand", "they are not real Thais", "they are all alchoholics, lazy & sell their daughters to become prostitutes", "they bring shame on Thailand" etc.

She sounds lovely.

[jmapodaca]

Uhhhhh.... I think... Young Farang13 was being a bit sarcastic here.. taking a swipe at the relative young age of your lady..compared to yours.... (Mind you, I personally don't have any problem with it... in fact...have been known to like it myself...)

But..in the odd chance I'm wrong... you're seriously talking about your future 20 something wife going out to party with teenagers in L.A.?????

What school did you earn your MBA from... I sure hope it wasn't my old university in Los Angeles!!!! If it was...I'm calling the dean tomorrow!!!

just curious, if she is in the usa and some of the other teenagers invite her to a party is she allowed to go?

Yeah, she can go. I'm not going to tie her down and have her miss being young. That would be mean. I will have to accept the inherent risks associated with marrying a younger lady..... I may have to tag along if that kind of thing happens often Given the age difference, the risk is absolutly there. A good pre-nup, that's the ticket. Without that, I wouldn't even consider doing this.

Well, if you're referring to UCLA, then you'll need to get on the phone Although, I went to USC as well.....call them all. I may have lost my mind

[jmapodaca]

If she comes, she'll be here in Los Angeles with a Thai community and lot's of good Thai restaurants.

Big, big mistake. My advice is to keep her well away from the 'influences' of the local Thai community - in fact, keep her in Thailand.

High proportion of ex-bargirls all backstabbing & bitching about each other, cheating on their ageing husbands with the young bucks, all trying to out do each other in the status stakes.

Lieing, deception, multiple marriages, the systematic looting of assets & money & this is only the wives, wait till you meet some of the husbands.

You being a MBA & CFO & all, will be a prime target & unless your little angel has had a bit of 'Pattaya' time they will chew her up & spit her out. They will turn her into something that you will not believe.

I have seen it all, this tragi-comedy of mismatched souls, predator & prey, so predictable, like an out of control freight train. Don't be another statistic.

Negative - yes, because this whole situation is negative. I think you desperately need a reality check.

Keep her in Thailand - if you decide to take her with you, make sure that YOU choose her friends well.

Excellent advice. I have revised (upward) my previous opinion of you. When she gets to USA the "rule-book" if there was one in Thailand, will go out the window. Anything goes in USA and she will be outside the control and guidance of her family.

Excellent, excellent advice. I will keep her away from the Thai community. Yes, that would be a disaster.