If I Was The New Pattaya Mayor

[HowardJohnson]

What would be the number one priority for you?

For me it has to be sorting the traffic. The 2 most stressful times in my day are driving to and from work.

So, I would suggest a Park & Ride scheme using some of the huge areas of open land East of Suk with a 24 hour bus service. Charge would be 20 baht return. (foreign or Thai! )

[edwardandtubs]

Pedestrian subways and overpasses.

[Thaddeus]

Make a heap of unobtainable promises, rake money in as fast as possible and then try to discreetly disappear.

[mrtoad]

Make sure that the kickbacks keep flowing.

[Kerryd]

Honestly ?

Well, I wouldn't probably live long enough to try and stop all the corruption that goes on.

Probably wouldn't last long either if I tried to clamp down on the shoddy performance of the various contractors hired to do all the Utilities maintenance and roadwork (make those people live up to their agreements or start fining and black listing them from future contracts).

Same goes for actually (honestly) trying to impose badly needed safety standards (i.e. cracking down on over crowded venues, ensuring fire detection/prevention/fighting systems were operational, exit doors weren't locked/chained shut, etc).

Imposing (and enforcing) dress codes in restaurants/malls etc (just like back home. Men - No shirt, no shoes, no service. Ladies - No Shirt = Free Drinks)

City Garbage collection - Start using dumpsters. Let the garbage collectors root through the trash at the land-fill site, instead of at each location where the garbage cans are. Make them wash their trucks once a week (or more). (On camp here, they wash the trucks at least once a week, and have to wash all the dumpsters at least once a month).

Use the prisoners in the jails to do clean-up work on all the garbage piles around the city. Just like in other places, offer an incentive. Each prisoner earns so much per day for working. Half goes into his account for purchases at the prison shop, the other half is saved for when he is released (or goes to his family). Or alternatively, each day worked reduces his sentence by a day (so a guy with a 5 year sentence could be out in 2 1/2 years if he worked everyday).

Enforce the traffic laws. Start handing out tickets for traffic enfractions like they were candy. Record them. Have the police work in teams (so that it's less likely one guy will try to pocket "on site" fines). As a part of the "anti-corruption" crusade, monitor the officers and arrest/charge/jail those caught pocketing the money.

Start suspending licenses for repeat traffic offenders and those that don't pay up. Half the fines go to the police budget for new equipment/extra staff etc. The other half goes into the city budget for things like improved traffic signals/signs, road markings and the like. No Licence (personal or vehicle) ? No Insurance ? No problem ! Vehicle is towed and impounded. Daily storage fees added to the fine until it is paid. After a period of time (3 months or so) unclaimed vehicles get auctioned off.

The list could go on and on, but like the first sentence mentioned, I wouldn't live long enough to see any of it done (probably not even get started).

[ZZZ]

Vote for Kerryd

[britmaveric]

Clean the beaches and surrounding waters. If you made these improvements, more dosh would flow into the city.

[Thaddeus]

Vote for Kerryd

Me too, I may have been more than a little cynical with my first comment ...... but I have always liked Supertramp.

[salty]

Ensure noise levels from bars are kept at a tolerable level.

[raro]

Free booze

[Kerryd]

Maybe I should run for mayor next time.

I'll change my name to Pornaporn Pornporn. I'm sure to get a ton of votes from the owners/managers/staff of various "establishments" I'm known to frequent. If all the expat locals rally around me (and get their spouses, family and friends to vote for me), along with all the various MC club members, I should be able to get at least 4-5 votes !

I could probably fund a nice campaign out of my monthly booze budget (which I'm sure the city would refund me once elected)

Of course, once elected you'd never see me again, as I would be hiding behind so much bullet-proof glass, and so many bullet-proof vests along with my faithfull bullet-attracting duplicates and bullet-catching bodyguards that you'd never know where I was !

In fact, if elected I would probably have to run the city remotely from a much safer location, like where I am now (Kandahar, Afghanistan). But hey, never let it be said that Pornaporn Pornporn doesn't care for his people (or their taxes) ! After all, if it wasn't for all those little people that are going to help get him elected, how would Pornaporn Pornporn be able to afford all those first class trips to promote Pornttaya's wonders to the rest of the world ? (Oh yeah, first order of business after being elected is to rename the city after myself. Got to do that before it suddenly becomes "Tony's-aya" or just "Tony's")

So remember, vote Pornaporn Pornporn to be the next Mayor of Pornttaya, er, Pattaya (for now) !

[sriracha john]

If I Was The New Pattaya Mayor, I would...

Convince my Dad to turn himself in and face the murder conviction he fled from...

Edited May 10, 2008 by sriracha john

[smileah]

Set up government sponsored dog/cat shelters, and educate the community on the proper care for animals. Also, lobby the government to start making laws against animal cruelty and neglect. Oh, how I wish someone would step up and raise awareness to the plight of the poor animals who are in such dire need.

Ha! I know I'm dreaming, but that's what I'd do.

[twix38]

Not top priority, but set up a recreatinal area for the public (public amenity) called a Park.

Too much land for profit and not a single decent sized Park in Pattaya City. Not one!!!

Edited May 11, 2008 by twix38

[Lorin]

Clean the beaches and surrounding waters. If you made these improvements, more dosh would flow into the city.

Completely agree,Pattaya will be much more attractive with clean beaches.

[Hobgoblin]

1) Bury utility cables city-wide

2) Issue 10-baht bounty on each stray dog - you'd see the mongrels disappear REAL quick.

3) Pothole suggestion box. Fill these things before they claim anymore lives.

4) Add traffic lights to at least 20 intersections throughout the city.

5) Enforce anti-gridlock law and red-light running.

6) See to it that any roadwork project that's started is finished (Read: Thappraya Road)

[britmaveric]

Agree with bury utility wires, but the entire city would be dug up and it would take them forever to do this. Be good excuse to dig up the sidewalks again I suppose.

[basjke]

What would be the number one priority for you?

For me it has to be sorting the traffic. The 2 most stressful times in my day are driving to and from work.

So, I would suggest a Park & Ride scheme using some of the huge areas of open land East of Suk with a 24 hour bus service. Charge would be 20 baht return. (foreign or Thai! )

Priority would be to clean up the mess the previous mayor left by completing all his unfinished projects ( and that means 90 % of the projects he started ).

[CGW]

If I Was The New Pattaya Mayor, I would...

Convince my Dad to turn himself in and face the murder conviction he fled from...

You got my vote Sir, for your noble and altruistic attitude to the job

[hanibal7]

take away for soi dogs.

sweet and sour puppy------------ 25 baht

scabby balls --------------- 10 baht

ears with garlic ------------- 20 baht

includes free bucket with every order of 100 baht or more.

no traffic on beach road pattaya/jomtien between 3pm- until 6.00am but would need park and ride.thais dont love walking.

reduce corruption

allow farangs to buy land.max 1 rai.

getting bored now because i know nothing will happen other than daddy will come home innocent.

lets just have total carnage,much better than england

[Cuban]

Review every idea and action that comes from City Hall to consider impact on tourism before becoming law or put into effect.

This would catch the alcohol sales ban, traffic, street crime etc.

[Taijitu]

If I was the New Pattaya Mayor.............................

I would seek regularly the opinions and views of foreigners about my City. I would also involve foreigners in fact finding sessions, opinion reviews and improvement workshops relating to the improvement and development of my City.

In these dialogues I would not involve any one who sells hamburgers, anyone who "writes" for a local newspaper (you know who I mean) nor any foreigner associated in any way with any real estate business....... including the construction thereof.

Seeking views from only a small blinkered sample drawn from the Thai population of my City leads to subjective and incompete feedback because of the adverse effect of the "krieng jai" culture on open discussion. I must listen to, and learn from, the many foreign residents also. I do have responsibility for them too.

[Madame]

Bus lines, passages for pedestians over or under roads, traffic lights; every pavement on the same high.

Off with the wastewater treatment "plant" from the entrance of Walking Street.

Same price for thai and farang.

[Taijitu]

And another thing, if I was the New Pattaya Mayor.............................

I would also read ThaiVisa Forum every day, especially the Pattaya Local Forum.

[ZZZ]

Ban all motorcycle rentals to operate from public parking places, especially along beach rd and walking street. At the moment they, and motor cycle taxis, occupy most of the parking space along this stretch.