Baby Advice!

[DirkGently]

It would appear that I'm to be a dad soon. No congratulations please, all I did was pull a funny face a few weeks ago .

Anyhow, the enormity of the situation is sinking in and exactly how little I know has hit home. As far as I know babies don't require spanners or an oil change and that is as much as I know.

My other half is going to see a doctor tomorrow and.....well!....that's all I know. What will happen there? I have seen ultra sound scans, but that must be weeks away yet.

Back home I think women go for check ups and such like, what about here in Thailand?

Do you have to register the baby somewhere?

Is it better to give the baby a Thai name of something people can say?

Any advice would be welcome.

Thanks in advance.

[Boo]

Sorry Dirk, but I have to say congratulations, regardless of how silly your face was

CONGRATULATIONS....

Ok down to business.

My other half is going to see a doctor tomorrow and.....well!....that's all I know. What will happen there? I have seen ultra sound scans, but that must be weeks away yet.

Back home I think women go for check ups and such like, what about here in Thailand?

Usually scans are at 12 & 20 weeks, 12 weeks they do a test to check for downs & possible defects & 20 weeks for more comprehemnsive checks & also at this point you can usually find out he babies sex.

Do you have to register the baby somewhere?

Is it better to give the baby a Thai name of something people can say?

The hospital that you chose to have baby at should guide you here, be aware though that many officials are unaware that foreign unmarried fathers can be named as the father on the birth certificate or that baby can carry his family name. Some of our dads postig in the family section have had all sorts of problems so just be aware & ready to stand your ground.

It would be worth you reading some of the threads in the family section cause a lot of dads post there so some of the info will be helpful to you.

As for naming the sprog, well thats up to you, I personally chose a thai first name & UK 2nd name for my son & we use the same nickname in both countries but I wanted him to have Thai name first as Uk is much more multicultural so having a foreign name is no big deal but in los could be more of an issue in his future.

Now to the basics.... babies are not that hard work once you get over the sleep deprevation & constant demands for food, they pretty much just sleep, eat & poo for the first few months & then once they start needing more attention you have got the hang of things already so things fall into place.

The hospital & obstetrician that you chose will be an important step too, your gf will be having regualr checks to measure babies size, take urine & blood samples (to check for things like gestational diabetes) check her weight & generally to make sure she & baby are getting on ok, this will be where she choses the type of birth too, many oby in los like to push for a c-section & most of the time it is cause it makes the docs life easier, not mums. Again the family section has covered this alot & we have a pinned topic abotu hospitals too so have a read, lots of mums & dads have given first hand accounts. Just make sure she isn't bullied into agreeing to something she isn't happy with.

[mizzi39]

It would appear that I'm to be a dad soon. No congratulations please, all I did was pull a funny face a few weeks ago .

Anyhow, the enormity of the situation is sinking in and exactly how little I know has hit home. As far as I know babies don't require spanners or an oil change and that is as much as I know.

My other half is going to see a doctor tomorrow and.....well!....that's all I know. What will happen there? I have seen ultra sound scans, but that must be weeks away yet.

Back home I think women go for check ups and such like, what about here in Thailand?

Do you have to register the baby somewhere?

Is it better to give the baby a Thai name of something people can say?

Any advice would be welcome.

Thanks in advance.

Hi dirk, yes you do deserve a congratulations. My wife had our little sprog last month. It is my first baby, and i must say that I was nervous as hel_l. A month on, i am in the groove, nerves have calmed, and now I take things as they come. My wife had a very good obstetrician who she saw once a month for the first and second trimester, and then every 2 weeks for the third trimester We now have a very competent pediatrician up here in the sticks of Issan. My wife as well as my baby share my last name. Our baby has a western first (and last) name, but a thai nickname. My name, wifes name, and our baby's full name appear on the BC. I have heard of other farangs who have had problems registering their baby's with non-Thai names, but this is just hear say. Go with the flow and Good Luck!

Edited August 9, 2008 by mizzi39

[sbk]

While not a mother, I do know that good prenatal care is paramount for not only the mother's health but the baby's as well. She should be given the right kinds of vitamins and supplements, webmd has a really good website for women's health issues. You could also try asking Sheryl in the health forum.

Be aware that complications during pregnancy can occur and a good ob is important -- my sister had toxemia and gestational diabetes, despite the fact that she seemed like a healthy person. (she was, just her system went out of whack during the pregnancy) and if she had left it to just a few checkups like many people seem to do in Thailand, it would have killed both herself and her baby.

Not to be alarmist, dirk but to make you aware of issues that can happen during pregnancy that you and your wife need to be informed about.

[tamsin]

It would appear that I'm to be a dad soon. No congratulations please, all I did was pull a funny face a few weeks ago .

Anyhow, the enormity of the situation is sinking in and exactly how little I know has hit home. As far as I know babies don't require spanners or an oil change and that is as much as I know.

My other half is going to see a doctor tomorrow and.....well!....that's all I know. What will happen there? I have seen ultra sound scans, but that must be weeks away yet.

Back home I think women go for check ups and such like, what about here in Thailand?

Do you have to register the baby somewhere?

Is it better to give the baby a Thai name of something people can say?

Any advice would be welcome.

Thanks in advance.

Why is this posted in the 'Ladies' forum? Is it that all er Ladies here are assumed to have given birth? There is a 'Family' section you know. How patronising.

[LaReina]

I think as a whole, the female members of this website are really friendly and helpful when they can be.

Plus tend to give some really good, non condensending advice.

This "might" be the wrong section to post the question, but there is nothing patronising about it.

[Mossfinn]

Hi Dirk,

It can all be a little daunting, but if you listen to all the advice I am sure all three of you will be fine, I am not going to add any pearls of wisdom, I will leave that to the more qualified, but trust me it is very hard work.

I was a confirmed bachelor 8 years ago and I am now 14 months in from being a confirmed no kids sort of guy, but it has all worked out well, but trust me, it is hard work.

Good Luck

[DirkGently]

I can't thank you enough. I really have no clue and have no other friends that have a baby.

I wasn't aware of the health problems that one poster listed. I will be checking out a good doctor from tomorrow. I'll drop back and keep you informed. We are both fit and well, but I will look into supplements as suggested as well.

She had the green light from the doctor and I got rather excited.

I even found myself wondering around the baby section in Tescos.

Thanks.

P.S Tamsin. I wasn't aware there wasn't a family section of this forum as I never had reason to look for one. I was at home and thought "holy crap! who on earth can i ask for advice?" and the friendly helpful section of Thai Visa came to mind. Whilst I accept not all females have given birth and some are outright man haters, you have to agree that the percentage of woman that have given birth is higher than that of men. I think it is also safe to assume women in general know more about 'this-kind-of-thing' than men. So I wasn't trying to patronise anybody. Now hop down off your high horse and fix me a cup of tea love.

[tamsin]

I think as a whole, the female members of this website are really friendly and helpful when they can be.

Plus tend to give some really good, non condensending advice.

This "might" be the wrong section to post the question, but there is nothing patronising about it.

Well then patronising is in the eye of the beholder and I feel downright patronised if I am expected to know what to do with someone's baby, just because I'm a woman. I also wasn't aware the Family forum was male dominated. Don't you little ladies post there about your hubbies and babies sometimes too?

Perhaps this should be renamed the 'Women and Children' Forum then.

[LaReina]

I think as a whole, the female members of this website are really friendly and helpful when they can be.

Plus tend to give some really good, non condensending advice.

This "might" be the wrong section to post the question, but there is nothing patronising about it.

Well then patronising is in the eye of the beholder and I feel downright patronised if I am expected to know what to do with someone's baby, just because I'm a woman. I also wasn't aware the Family forum was male dominated. Don't you little ladies post there about your hubbies and babies sometimes too?

Perhaps this should be renamed the 'Women and Children' Forum then.

Patronising is in the eye of the beholder but correct me if I am wrong, he didnt send a direct message to you asking YOU what all needed to be done with this wonderful event that is about to take place in his life.

He asked general questions, directed at any female (or reader in the womens section) who might have answers to his questions. For the sake of argument, if his significant other had posted the question, would you still have felt "patronised"?

I stand behind my original statement... There was nothing arrogant nor condensending in his manner of question lest of all the way he ended it "any advice would be welcome, thanks in advance".

Besides, we all know it could have been worse. He could have asked if she should MARRY his significant other because he was tired of border runs, and a whole lot of other things, and then posted THAT in the womens section... (hint, hint)

Edited August 10, 2008 by LaReina

[DirkGently]

Phew, thanks for fighting my corner. I found myself wondering aimlessly in Tesos tonight wondering what on earth some of the stuff was. When I noticed a sort of scrum. I pushed my way over and noticed it was a childrens 'stuff' sale.

I barged my way in and grabbed a bunch of cups and plates and something that looked like a salt shaker (i think it was a rattle) and discovered it was all 2 or 5 baht. At this price I bought anything that had Winnie the Pooh on it.

I genuinnly felt like i was doing somthing worth while. There is no suggestion that women know all about kids (tamsin), but I was thrilled to be taking part in a way that i can understand.

It's sinking in and i'm pretty pleased.

Thanks

C.

P>S we are reading the websites recommended.

[Nampeung]

Best of luck Dirk, it's a real adventure and you sound like you are loving it already

Read as much as feels right and ask away here for advice - don't listen to moaning minnys like Tamsin - what a wally !!!

My child is a teenager now but I still remember the details so if I can be of any help I will. Loads of other people on TV will too so please don't be put off by the few wet blankets here

[desi]

Congratulations Dirk! One suggestion - ask new mothers and fathers about their favourite childcare books, then read the top choice from cover to cover. While it won't answer everything (children are a constant surprise) it will go a long way to alleviating your fears.

Living in the Allegheny mountains during the first baby years (I leased a Turkey hunting camp in the boonies - no close neighbours, no running water so had to prime a pump... you get the picture...), I luckily came across a beaut of a book in the 'big city' that led me through my son's first 12 years (it was in two volumes actually). But, years go by and newer books come out so I'm not sure what to suggest these days.

Edited August 11, 2008 by desi

[Goldenbead]

Not sure if this has been suggested yet but look for a book called, "What To Expect When You Are Expecting". It covers just about any and everything and I found it to be a valuable resource to me through all of my pregnancies.

And congratulations btw!

[zaza]

Congrats Dirk I do admire your will to find out more about fatherhood and babies .

I am replying to your post now as a woman and a mother (since this topic in the ladies forum), thus;my opinion would be a bit different in few points.

I wish you'd set a time to yourself to think if you are ready to be responsible for a baby's life and the well-being of him/her with her mother, the life stability(emotionally) you are willing to provide and the relationship status that you'd like to sustain with your partner. ALL these factors, add ups to the advice you were seeking.(you know to well that all human being and others living being -Males- can be easily "sperms" donators BUT ; it is you who can make a different by trying and giving all the effort to be a great Daddy ;that your son/daughter will be proud to have.

I am sure;your partner will be sadly miser to find out about your other passtimes ; this will sadly effect her pregnancy and the temper of the coming innocent-baby in her womb when fightings and quarrels would be inevitable.

so please;

I beg you to care about the emotional-mental aspects of family's health as well.

I used to see a Japanese girl several times a week for lunch/dinner/coffee etc! It was rather romantic. It was quite some time before we stayed together. That was clearly cheating as we both knew about the other's partner.

I showed proper respect to my partner by only going to places we had never been and therefore was unlikely to be seen.

In fact I'd like to meet someone else like that.

I may sound as I am intruding or preying into your life ;but; I can't stop telling my honest advice if I'd been asked to, especially when I know that other's lives and destinies are being involved.

[mssabai]

Watch "Knocked Up"

Really amusing film about unplanned parent hood!

[DirkGently]

I am going to move my questions to the family section after this post.

We went for our first check up and to say that my life changed in a heartbeat is an understatement. I was stood, feeling like a spare part, as my wife had her first full checkup. I expected to see nothing as I presumed that at this stage it would be an un-formed blob. I have never been more wrong.

As a normal spanners and oil change type of person I was stunned, amazed and blown away to see a humanoid shape on the screen. I asked "what's that" and the doctor spoke as if I had just pointed at a dog and asked the same question. When he said "it's your baby" I felt weak.

Later he said "do you want to hear its heart?" I said "it has a heart!!!" and he turned on the speaker. At that moment all the nonsense that had seemed important in my life just vanished. I have created a human and I could not be more pleased.

Let the games begin. I am prepared and as happy as a puppy with two tails.

Thanks.

[DaoDao]

I am going to move my questions to the family section after this post.

We went for our first check up and to say that my life changed in a heartbeat is an understatement. I was stood, feeling like a spare part, as my wife had her first full checkup. I expected to see nothing as I presumed that at this stage it would be an un-formed blob. I have never been more wrong.

As a normal spanners and oil change type of person I was stunned, amazed and blown away to see a humanoid shape on the screen. I asked "what's that" and the doctor spoke as if I had just pointed at a dog and asked the same question. When he said "it's your baby" I felt weak.

Later he said "do you want to hear its heart?" I said "it has a heart!!!" and he turned on the speaker. At that moment all the nonsense that had seemed important in my life just vanished. I have created a human and I could not be more pleased.

Let the games begin. I am prepared and as happy as a puppy with two tails.

Thanks.

Your post made me smile widely!

I wish you and your family all the best and lots of happiness!!

[DirkGently]

I simply can't imagine the person I was. I have taken to putting my ear to my wife's tum and listening. Nothing yet!

Anybody that wishes me less than well.........clear off!

Dirk.

[MiG16]

Dirk - congrats!!

I didnt have a chance to post earlier cos I cant offer any advice.

(as a member, I read all threads in ladies forum, but if I feel they dont apply to me I stop following it)

however, as a MOD, Ive continued to read the thread (as regardless of how innocent the topic is - threads in the ladies forum tend to attract more crazy trolls than anywhere I feel).

I think you have received some very practical advice. I dont see any reason it needs to leave the ladies forum. However, if you would like it moved so you can get further feedback from those that dont frequent ladies forum, let me know and I can do that for you.

A link will remain in the ladies forum even if you choose to have it moved to the family forum

your comment about seeing the baby on the (I think ultrasound?) is absolutely wonderful. many have told me what a life changing experience a baby can be. (and it will continue to be as each day and each year goes by).

ofcourse, nothing but the best of wishes to you and yours

[ChangMaiSausage]

Congratulations

You will be fighting the grand parents off hahaha (well I was)

The first four/five months was all about Mum and baby the interaction is limited between farther and baby, yes you can get involved with bath, feed, changing times but things really start getting interesting when the wee mite smiles and laughs at you (interaction). I felt the change happen about five/six months he's now ten months and a right little hand full.

It's a great feeling and buzz having a little one around you I never experienced the feeling before and never thought something could feel so good especially at the time of the birth.

Great times ahead be good to him and his mother and you will live a great time

PS. Tamsin grow up you did not have to read the OP's posting

Edited August 18, 2008 by ChangMaiSausage

[sylvafern]

Why is this posted in the 'Ladies' forum? Is it that all er Ladies here are assumed to have given birth? There is a 'Family' section you know. How patronising.

Why do you assume that all ladies need to have given birth before they know stuff about babies? My sister has never been pregnant or had a baby, does not have any medical background but she still knows lots about babies as she has so many friends that have had kids .... she was able to give me heaps of advice when I was pregnant and she certainly did not think it was patronising if I asked her a question!!

Congrats to Dirk on the pregnancy - hope it all goes well!!

[Mossfinn]

As a normal spanners and oil change type of person

Trust me, you couldn't get a more, 'non-parental guy', than me, but you wait till they start the clever stuff, the first steps, when they start feeding themselves with their own cutlery, climbing stairs, you will find yourself in another place altogether.

But in the mix are the not so funny things, the continual banging of their heads can be a little frightening, but they really are hardy little fellows, followed by clear ringing laughter.........

Good luck you have an incredible time to look forward to