Reverse Culture Shock

[mrt273nva]

Just got word that my wife's visa may be coming through in a few months, which has really got me thinking about what is will be like when I get back. I have been out here for 3 years and haven't even gone back for a holiday. I know I've changed and I know the US has changed, but I'm worried how affected I will be by it.

Can anyone share your experiences of going back to the west after a long stretch of being in the LOS? And what kind of reverse culture shock did you experienced?

[GuestHouse]

My personal experience.

Got off the plane and it was like I had never been away.

Only thing that struck me as a shock was the stink of perfumes and aftershaves... everything else was just smooth with a real good to be home feeling.

[Jingthing]

The economy is much worse. Most Americans are feeling it, so don't expect a Morning in America 1980's feeling again. Its more like: oh my God, are we going to be able to keep our cars running?

[sbk]

I stayed away for about 5 years for a period due to finances, visas etc and my return home was well, a bit of a shock at first but I have to agree you do find yourself falling back into everything fairly easily. Of course, Koh Phangan in those days was a tad more primitive than it is now, so it was a bit more of a shock than now. Funniest thing I remember is wondering what they needed with an entire aisle of toilet paper in the supermarket

[lannarebirth]

Just got word that my wife's visa may be coming through in a few months, which has really got me thinking about what is will be like when I get back. I have been out here for 3 years and haven't even gone back for a holiday. I know I've changed and I know the US has changed, but I'm worried how affected I will be by it.

Can anyone share your experiences of going back to the west after a long stretch of being in the LOS? And what kind of reverse culture shock did you experienced?

Went back for the first time in more than 5 years a few months ago. Had a little trouble with the supermarket checkout, as it was automated. I had to do all the work, while the employee looked on. I asked her, since it was her job to watch me checkout, why she couldn't just do it herself? She looked at me like I was a piece of dirt who'd just called her a 2 bit whore. That was a shock. That and the Homeland Security bullshit. Had to have a friendly Indian gentlemean calm me down as he explained to me that you're not allowed to call them fascists or idiots. The ice cream is good however, and it's still baseball season.

[Jingthing]

On a recent visit, I had a bit of trouble with swiping my credit cards at checkouts (I use only cash in Thailand). I felt like a real rube/fresh off the boat. People were staring. The clerks don't help, its your job. I didn't see any grocery stores though where you didn't have the choice between automated or clerk ringing up your purchases. I missed the bum gun. I wore open air shoes there even though I used to always were socks and shoes. I avoided Thai food there, it is too expensive and not the same. I wanted to use the Thai eating method in restaurants but didn't because I didn't want to be stared at. Being only a visitor there now, and not actually returning, I did kind of feel like an alien in my own country. I think after a few years away it would OK to move back. But after 10 or more years, the culture shock would probably be very extreme. I think a good portion of condo jumpers are people who have been here a long time, are forced to move back home for some reason or another, and can't hack it.

Edited August 26, 2008 by Jingthing

[PeaceBlondie]

It depends where you have just lived, and where you go in the States. My first reverse culture shock was going from the poorest internal refugee camp in Mexico, to one of the poorest metro areas of Texas. I was overwhelmed by the riches of hundreds of gallons of cold milk and unlimited luncheon buffet for ten dollars. So, if you are going from deepest Isaan to some very rich suburb, be prepared for a shock.

[mrt273nva]

I think a good portion of condo jumpers are people who have been here a long time, are forced to move back home for some reason or another, and can't hack it.

If I jumped from my window i'd probably just twist my ankle at most.

[lazeeboy]

going back to the uk after 10 years the shock was apart from the prices ,were from entering immigration to shopping to dining in restaurants travelling on trains and buses ,not one person spoke english as there 1st languge ,where do all the english people work ...or are they all signing on ..

[Soutpeel]

going back to the uk after 10 years the shock was apart from the prices ,were from entering immigration to shopping to dining in restaurants travelling on trains and buses ,not one person spoke english as there 1st languge ,where do all the english people work ...or are they all signing on ..

Went back after 7 years, intending to spend at least 3-4 weeks, in the end decided the place was a sh*t hole after 10 days (yes it took me a whole 10 days to figure that one out) changed my tickets and came back, having no intention of ever going back if I can help it...

[GuestHouse]

Went back after 7 years, intending to spend at least 3-4 weeks, in the end decided the place was a sh*t hole after 10 days (yes it took me a whole 10 days to figure that one out) changed my tickets and came back, having no intention of ever going back if I can help it...

Never say never!

[kankaroo]

I hated it and it affected my pretty badly ! I never experienced culture shock, only the opposite.

It depends on the individual and / or situation though... I hate my country and immediately got used to life out East.

Good Luck !

[Spee]

Can anyone share your experiences of going back to the west after a long stretch of being in the LOS? And what kind of reverse culture shock did you experienced?

I recently returned to the US after being abroad for most of the last 6-7 years. Although I had taken weekend breaks back to the states while away, this time kind of freaked me out a bit. It took me about 2 weeks to get my "land-legs."

The biggest adjustments for me were the crazy drivers out on the roads, the cops being out everywhere and the very much increased prices for food in the grocers. Secondary effects were adjusting to the general behavior of people. Oh, and the Thai food in the area is rubbish.

In all honesty, I'd like to find another expat job, preferably in or close to LoS. The US as a country with freedom and democratic values is still the best thing going, but 50 years of liberalism are taking its toll and the country in slowly but surely regressing into a high-tax, strong central government, socialist republic.

[Pierrot]

Actually I'd a funny reaction, but a friend of mine told me he had the same. After landing, I felt very uncomfrotable having all these westerners around me (I'm one myself) and when I saw a group of asian people, quite instinctively I join them.

After less than a couple of hours, everything was back to normal. But for a while I needed to go to Chinatown from time to time just to feel "better".

Edited August 26, 2008 by Pierrot

[BigSnake]

No Reverse Culter Shock here. When I arrived at LAX and was greeted by family and friends felt like I had never left. I think mainly because I was always in touch with family and these friends via the Internet and a call of two to family members. Not even a problem when I got behind the Wheel of my sister Chevy Blazer. Only PROBLEM, darn old JET LAG!! Any suggests on over coming jet lag will be welcome.

[Johpa]

I don't think you ever get 'culture shock' returning to your home country. The fact that a few things have changed, including yourself still does not merit comparing with entering and living within an entirely novel culture. Two minor changes that I have had to deal with when returning to the US after a lengthy period in Thailand was having my tummy readjust to the food (Ben Franklin's revenge?) and for the first weeks, after living for a year in a rural area and interacting with few Farangs, having to deal with my brain's perception that all white people looked alike.

[Jeddah Jo]

No doubt some farangs definitely start to turn a little Thai, I imagine it is tougher for them. Also little things that change in your home country that you encounter for the first time like self-service check out, and Chip'N'Pin in the UK. Does make you feel like a bit of a retard when you don't know where to stick the card etc

Biggest problem though is always missing Thailand. Everyone in UK permanently rushing around like demented chickens and for what? So they can have a nice 2 week holiday once a year to relax? Better to do it the other way around imo

JJ

[Jingthing]

I think after 10 or 20 years, you may tend to turn ALOT Thai.

[Amyji]

I remember for me it was getting used to the cooler weather again. You become so acclimated to the heat and humidity and when you go back you're shivering cold all the time!

Now I'm going to have the reverse problem when we come to Bangkok for a visit, even in November, because here in the Bay Area, CA, we rarely go over 75F (~24C) and that feels perfect for me.

Another thing that I had to get used to was the fact I couldn't buy healthy, ready made food so easily and cheaply. In the US, if it's healthy and ready made to bring home then it's going to be peeng maak, otherwise it's unhealthy fast food. I loved shopping in the markets and bringing all sorts of delicious ready to eat dinners home.

Reverse culture shock, IMO, closely resembles immediately missing your host country's wonderful aspects.

Edited August 26, 2008 by Amyji

[chivo]

upon returning to the usa, i am always taken aback how abrupt americans are.

i hate to say it but i find conversations a little dull with people who haven't lived or at least spent some significant time travelling. not arrogance, just my take on it.

i also felt like there was an energy missing from communities.

stores and restaurants close too early.

[PhilHarries]

No doubt some farangs definitely start to turn a little Thai, I imagine it is tougher for them. Also little things that change in your home country that you encounter for the first time like self-service check out, and Chip'N'Pin in the UK. Does make you feel like a bit of a retard when you don't know where to stick the card etc

Biggest problem though is always missing Thailand. Everyone in UK permanently rushing around like demented chickens and for what? So they can have a nice 2 week holiday once a year to relax? Better to do it the other way around imo

JJ

Glad to know I wasn't the only retard in that respect. The looks I got from checkout girls said it all "Dweeb!".

I don't see too many examples of culture shock here, more confusion at changes in the home country while we've been away or problems readjusting to how things are done back there. When you have been overseas for a considerable period your memories of the homeland are that long out of date. It's only natural that when you go back you struggle with those changes. Return visits don't count as you are on holiday and they don't really register because your brain is in holiday mode.

The big culture shock for me was the desertion of the towns. Go round any Thai town or village virtually anytime day or night and there are people out and about doing all manner of things from just sitting watching, through eating to working on houses/cars/motorbikes etc. Towns in the UK, away from the shopping centres, are virtually devoid of people most of the time in contrast to Thailand and you never see young children out playing in the streets.

People in the UK have become withdrawn into their own private worlds and almost resent any intrusion. Monday to Friday they go to work, come home, watch TV and go to bed. Saturdays they go shopping, work in the house/garden, watch TV and go to bed. Sundays they wash the car, mow the grass, watch TV, eat lunch, watch TV and go to bed. Many people in the UK have lived years in their current house and do not know the names of their neighbours.

i also felt like there was an energy missing from communities.

Energy or spirit? Much the same as I describe above.

[sbk]

I think after 10 or 20 years, you may tend to turn ALOT Thai.

I don't know Jingthing, I've been living in Thailand for 20 years now and I am still 'me'. Albeit a more relaxed, patient 'me', but still essentially 'me'. Readjustment when I return home has not been difficult for me, but I also am close with my family and enjoy my visits (and extended visits) home. I miss the easy life in the US, the cleanliness and the diversity of things to do, see and eat. Living on this small island for so many years has made me appreciate all those things in the US.

Spending time in the US generally increases my appreciation for the things that I love about Thailand as well, but I was never one of those people who fled my home country because I disliked it or hated it. I left because I was interested in other places and how other people lived lives very different from my own.

So, I guess how you readjust to life back home depends on your own attitude, if you approach it in a positive manner, then it won't be too hard.

But, one thing I have found that works just as well here as there, is a smile. Regardless of how incompetent I may appear with some of the modern technology, a simple smile and a friendly attitude usually engenders help.

[Jeddah Jo]

The big culture shock for me was the desertion of the towns. Go round any Thai town or village virtually anytime day or night and there are people out and about doing all manner of things from just sitting watching, through eating to working on houses/cars/motorbikes etc. Towns in the UK, away from the shopping centres, are virtually devoid of people most of the time in contrast to Thailand and you never see young children out playing in the streets.

I agree, miles upon miles of residential suburban housing with virtually no human activity whatsoever. Was it always like this? You have to feel that the British climate acts as a major isolating influence on the whole population. Dank, cold, overcast and wet days do not make for cheery socialising in the streets.

Maybe this also explains why so many people in the UK seem so badly socialised.

JJ

[chrisofphoenix]

I only spent a 6 week stretch in LOS this past june/July but I found cultural adaptation relatively easy on the outbound leg of the journey. It wasn't until I reached American soil that made me question why I came back in first place. I almost forgot how to use a fork. I can only imagine how someone must feel after spending north of a year in Thailand and then coming back to our western chaois. My next trip to BKK will be for 4 months and I know I'm going to cry when I have to step on the America bound plane.

[desi]

Can anyone share your experiences of going back to the west after a long stretch of being in the LOS? And what kind of reverse culture shock did you experienced?

Well, not LOS specifically, but several years ago I went back to the US after a 12 year absence (10 of those in SE Asia).

Although they are taking a stab at Thai, the food was worse in taste than I remembered, with prices ott.

No matter who I was talking to, it was noticeable how often religion was brought into the conversation.

Letting my drivers licence expire meant I had to take a bus into Seattle and I found the people riding along with me alarming in their actions (which reminds me...)

Prices, ouch. But they are bad in Europe so no big.

Sloppy dressing and down dressing on occasions that didn't warrant it.

Lack of a common, shared interest (mainly expat living and world history) also noticable.

I've known ever since I was around 14 (when my father brought the family stateside) that I don't belong in the US. So no big surprises really.

But I'd totally forgotten how nice Americans are as a whole. That was the nice surprise.

Edited August 30, 2008 by desi

[girlx]

After landing, I felt very uncomfrotable having all these westerners around me (I'm one myself) and when I saw a group of asian people, quite instinctively I join them.

i can relate to that!

i might be going back to stay in new york in a few weeks and am very nervous. i have been in thailand for most of the past 8 years. i did visit home a couple times in that period, but this time if i do go i plan to stay for a year at least. while on the one hand there is a lot i miss and appreciate more now about my country, there is a lot i will sorely miss from thailand too (food! weather! laid back feeling! my friends!). though not much i'll miss from bangkok, more the island life.

i remember from past experience though that after a couple weeks' adjustment period, it feels like you never left home. i hope i don't revert back into a capitalist freak like the rest.