Jail

[mai_chop_gohok]

I don't suppose you could just cut and paste an article about her, and contact infomation instead of a load of links that don't work in my browser, or links to other threads that also do not just openly state who and where she is and how you would like someone to help. Several people here have posted with the same feeling. At the moment you have only posted sometimes working links to ittty bitty paper trails that give bits and bobs of info.

Just paste the darn story, and contact info for her, your relationship to her, and PM an email for you. Then maybe one of us can consider offering some help. As for usenet - never heard of it and never used it. You are making this whole thing difficult for anyone to help.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

she is my ex wife, we are divorced.

I have no idea what u wanna know exactly about my relationship to her.

If my relationship to her doesn´t find ur approval or whatever,

she doesn´t deserve any help then ?

She is in jail, I look for NGOs that are into helping thai prisoners and could

check if and what help she needs or deserves, cause I cannot check that

and should not even try it and don´t want to.

That´s all.

A horrible difficult request and question if anybody knows such NGOs.

Karl

[mai_chop_gohok]

I don't suppose you could just cut and paste an article about her, and contact infomation instead of a load of links that don't work in my browser, or links to other threads that also do not just openly state who and where she is and how you would like someone to help. Several people here have posted with the same feeling. At the moment you have only posted sometimes working links to ittty bitty paper trails that give bits and bobs of info.

Just paste the darn story, and contact info for her, your relationship to her, and PM an email for you. Then maybe one of us can consider offering some help. As for usenet - never heard of it and never used it. You are making this whole thing difficult for anyone to help.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

1998

Unhappy married with my thai-wive

Karl Jacob Oct 14 1998

Newsgroups: soc.culture.thai

WARNING

This is a long and bit depressing story and even not finished.

You may find topics that are allready very old for this newsgroup, but I´m

very new with the internet and had yet no time to read in this group, exept

a bit of "Am I Cracy, in Love, or a little of both ?" and I wanted like so

many others answer this guy and while writing I decided to make an own

letter.

I´m from germany, 34 years old and my thai-wife about 23 years.

We know us for about 2 years and are married now for 1 year.

But sometimes I fell like in ###### now !

She is not from the bar-scene, but she loves to drink and stay out at night.

In germany are more thais than on other western countries, you can buy every

thaifood you like and unfortunately is 100 meter next to my flat a

thai-restaurant with 6-days-a-week thai-karaoke till 3,4,5 o´clock in the

morning. Since 3 month now she has her first regular job, has to get up 6,7

in the morning and comes

home 5 o´clock morning very drunk often.

We have some good friend´s her (thai-falang-couples) but she loves to sit

with others in thai-karaokes.

There are a few in my town. The public there is mixed, but many thais there

hang out every night and are worse than bar-girls from Pattaya, Bangkok and

Phuket. I know really heavy thai-card-gamblers here, but luckyly she don´t

like this too much.

But right now she has 2 days off work and did not come home for 2 days, no

phone, message, nothing.

She´s shure no bar-girl, in our first trip to pattiya she was so afraid, she

didn´t go alone to the toilett.

Now I don´t know what she would do.

She has serious problems, sometimes she cries about herself, makes good

purposes, but she can´t change

right now. She is autoagressive (often cuts her underarms), she has

"bulemie" (sorry I don´t know this in english, in german:

Fress-Kotz-Sucht),makes constant diets, is a bit alcoholic an often havy

depressive.

She has a baby in thailand, she got it with 15, right when her family broke

apart from divorce of her own parents, she had to go away from highschool,

had no right home herself, the babies father (friend from school) did not

care, an aunt took her baby and never gave it back. Than she went 2 years to

the monks.

When she had enough, she moved near her aunt in bangkok, worked in a big

departmentstore, gave most of her money her aunt to be allowed to see the

baby 2 hours a week.

The kid is now 6,7 years old and still don´t know who is it´s mother and we

got no papers for it, they wrote it in

the houseregister of the aunt.

Her sister lives now 4 years with a retired german in thailand and so she

met me.

For a german-person I would say she must go to a therapy but I think this

must by stationary. In thailand she won´t find such a thing, i believe, but

I don´t know shure.

Thai´s don´t eat falang-food. Nobody cooks thai-food for you when you are in

Therapy. So this would not work.

First I was proud : my wive likes Schweinebraten, Weißwurscht, Pizza, Kebap.

She tried everything. And likes it.

But forget it. When you come to the ground: Thais eat 3-times a day rice,

but only the speciall best one,

mostly old fish, and this fish you would never call tasty thaifood.

But that´s o.k.

I lived about 2 years in India and were quite often in thailand. I never

miss german food. Mayby I have no roots. Thais have extremly deep roots.

"Can I call my mother ?" "Why ?" " I miss her so ?" you can´t say no.

Averge 250$ one month.

"You spoke your mother right 30 minutes, did you ask for this one form I

need ?" "no I forgot ?"

hear this now some month.

When we argue she has one strong argument : it´s all my fallt, why I did not

see she´s cracy ?

It´s hard in thailand.

This stories they had now in not even 1 year : Her pregnant half-sister

killed herself in jail for drugs, left a kid and husband, my wifes daughter

had an accident with few days coma with the schoolbus, now she has malaria,

her grandmother died of neclection,she cared for the grandfather an a

deaf-blind-nospeak-uncel, they live now in a hut in the garden of our german

brother-in-law, but her sister is a bit QUIGONG, allways out at night, once

in jail for killing,former on heroin, her mother lives not married with her

new man, a former neighbour, this man wes so down that he wrote everything

over to his son, this guy lives in bangkok and simetimes he comes to the

village, drunken he wants to throw out everybody from ´his´ house,

especially my mother-in-law, her sister had allready a knife-battle with him

and he told police, last gag : right now her father

(former good farmer, lost all land, lorrydriver, longtime-amphetemin-user)

lost one foot in a lorry-accident.

My wife said, maybe he can now at least finish his tabletts and go to the

monks.

I was allready sitting with this man and he cried for his broken family,

then this stupid aunt came with a ######-bar-girl-daughter, all full with

fat gold-buddhas, this bar-girl is running an own clothshop sponsored by a

rich american, and they asked for more money for the baby, some of my wifes

brothers were there too,

none has even a new t-shirt, all work hard for their families, one had to

leave from stomach-pain.

And this are shure no bar-stories, I reconfirm sometimes with my german

brother-in-law, and he has more

problems than I, he has land and house in her village, this april he had an

heat-attack, 1 week hospital,

his girlfriend out over night, somebody broke the house, everything gone, in

spring it´s hotter there (small village near Phitsanulok / SakLek) than in

phuket where he lived years. now he thinks about selling. But what

he want´s I don´t know anyway, he is driving at least once a week to Bangkok

by bread, Wurscht and looking for girls. Now he thinks about selling, but he

seems to love her.

She´s a monster. When she orders my wife ´kill´ I fear she does. Sometimes

we get a call from thailand,

after my wive cries, it´s allways her sister, she says we give not enough.

When you marry thai, don´t think you understand much at first, some things

you don´t get told, but many they tell you and you don´t believe.

About once a month somebody calls from thailand, ether accident, hospital,

jail, rent not paid, I allways give.

Forget about being married with thai and not support family. You cannot

chang their hearts.

But I´m sad when I hear she tells other people I don´t give anything her

family, I´m so niggardly.

She get´s very angry when I speak with friends or my family about our

problems.

She don´t care. I often cause problems, when I speak with friends and I

don´t know, whom she told what lie.

I dont´ think bad about thais, but I know much worse cases concerning lies

than my wife und I´ll never understand this. How do you protekt face with a

lie, that sooner or later is clear a lie.

Our western mind or what ?

It´s a typicall story, the people loose there land, go work and have no

chance no more.

I planned to buy cheap (realy) farmland for her mother, they can start

again, on of her brothers (a good guy)would also come back from Bangkok for

farming.

14.nov. we go 8 weeks thailand, but now I shure won´t buy. I have rather

enough.

Friends tell me when you marry a thai-woman make shure you are allways the

boss.

I don´t want ! That´s not my style !

But I have never seen that poor mistreatet asian woman in the west,

exploitet from her man.

I Know some couples, the man keeps his face but his thai-wife orders.

It´s a big conflikt: thai-pop-youth-culture, piercing, freedom everything

and the old style.

When I go in the kitchen and want to wash dishes she freaks out, what could

her girlfriends think, when sometimes I don´t like what she cooked she

cries.

She is so chaotic right now and don´t understand I don´t want she makes

driving-license now,she would be dead after one day with that stile.

When we are in Bangkok I must check the public-city-busses, she lived there

4 years never even tried this.

Every tourist does this after 3 days.

I heard long ago when you go to thailand you can have a girlfriend, she

checks everything for you, bargain, bills, she knows much. This lady I have

not seen in 10 years. Only falang-kie-niau.

She works now as roomservice, bad paid, bad company. But when she works she

likes to work and works good. She learns German much quicker than her

friends.

As unskilled alien you won´t get any good job now in germany. She must

clean about 40 bathrooms a day,

and is very ashamed, lies even to her mother. In Bangkok she checked bills

in a clothdepartment.

90% I think we go now to thailand and I leave her with her mother.

But I don´t know what happens there with her.

I love her but I think I must end this.

I´m now 2 days allone and don´t know where she is.

thanks

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1999

Maybe some people remember me

Karl Jacob Jun 6 1999

Newsgroups: soc.culture.thai

This are 2 fragments of letters to a friend:

My wife never worked in a bar and she developped many of her bad habits

here.

Sometimes I envy my friends who married thai-bargirls, as they allready had

their habits.

Education is shure a problem, my wife never had an acceptable job here.

It´s somehow like she has gone back to puberty and making that kind of

problems.

Maybe american men ar more clever than germans, but I never did meet any

educated thai-women here in germany. I don´t want to talk bad, I dropped

highschool myself, but no thai-lady here has a good job.

Many work at the airport for the airplaine-catering-companies, as

chambermaids, all kind of cleaning-jobs and so on.

This jobs are now really bad paid and the conditions are very unfair.

My wife had allready 2 of them and we were happy she got them, but every day

she went there I told her that I´m not angry when she drops as they were so

bad.

The third job she loved, waitress in a thai restaurant,

but she had to work about 80 hrs/week and had about 500 $ a month.

Most thais that work here in thai-restaurants come with a 1

year-working-visum from their boss and earn even less than that.

This job I finished, as she didn´t come home sometimes for 2 nights.

So most of the married thai-woman here end up as hous-wifes and really all

the divorced ones I know are prostitutes.

The richer thai-families are owners of the restaurants and food-markets.

I my town are even some thai-restaurants with every-night thai-karaoke till

4 o´clock morning. One is unfortunately about 100 meters from my flat.

You can imagine where she is many nights.

Now she didn´t have work for 5 month and we decided to take another course

in a language school to improve her german and have a bit of structure.

But it´s also fitting to her new friends, that are all about 16/17 year old

thai-kids, i hate their stile, evrybody has a handy, allways newest fashion,

only sanook, sanook...

Somehow we both don´t believe much in finding a propper job for her and this

is very sad as she really loves to work and is much more stable then.

cu

Karl Jacob

-----------------------------------------------------------------

2001

Another part of my story

Karl Jacob Apr 30 2001

Newsgroups: soc.culture.thai

Some people here might remember my postings about my wife,

as I know many don´t like it, I tried not to bother anybody here

and didn´t post much for quite some time. That´s no problem,

I can and do talk enough about it in RL.

Now it happened again : Robert Hauger asked me in a private

e-mail about my remark about a shooting in another posting,

I wanted to answer a short reply and couldn´t start writing.

And decided then also to post it here.

It´s not the full story and maybe confusing and repelling for

many, but maybe especially some people who know me

want to hear it. For the ones who don´t like reading stories

of falangs whining how bad they got treated in thailand :

You don´t have to read it.

Twice I had to call police in germany, when she freaked out completly

and tried to attack me with a knife from the kitchen.

Winter 98/99 I bought a ricefarm for her mother, 99/00 I bought a house

and a motorbike for them, 15 min. after I paid the last bill of the house

she attacked me with a really big knife, I could run faster than she,

all her family and friends were around, nobody helped me, she disappeared

with the bike, 2 days later she came back and immedeately attacked me

again, again I was faster and nobody helped me, I closed myself up in her

mothers old house, she came back with one of their old shotpistols,

sorry, I´m not much into guns, a pistol with one very big cartrige full of

small lead-balls, she searched around and under the house and tried to

target at me through the many holes in the old wooden floor, it was night

and I closed all lights and tried to hide as good as possible and so she

couldn´t see me. I left, some weeks later just before I left thiland she

came to me and begged for pardon, I took her back with me to germany,

only to find out that she had stolen all the money I had left in her

mother´s accout for furniture and so for the house in order to marry one

of her former thai-boyfriends. That was where I seriously threw her out the

first time. I couldn´t get a quick divorce, In germany you have to live 1

year separated before you can start with it. 3 month later she came back

broken and crying, I was stupid as always to believe her, january 2001

she did run away, told me because she was to afraid to do our usual 7

weeks thailand because of the mess she had made there the year before,

when I was in thailand and after that for work in russia, she even managed

to convinced my parents that she was making everything good now for me,

4 days after I came back from russia, I got a hint that she had managed to

bring one of her former thai-husbands (another one than the one she

married in her village a year before) to germany and was hiding him in our

neighbours (a thai-lady) flat, where she obviously spent too much time at

that moment for *bible reading*, I went in that flat and dicovered him,

but left immideately not to get into a fight, last year I paid with a broken

foot and 3 month ill for a fight in thailand. I´ve thrown her out now, it´s

really more than enough, but I still won´t get a quick or easy divorce,

I tried to get her thrown out of germany, they can´t do anything about that,

the husband who´s papers I found isn´t registered somewhere, maybe still

in thailand and I saw another guy or he has only a touristvisum and that

doesn´t get registered.

But they found a report about her, that she and her worst thai girlfriend

have stolen about 5000 US$ from somebody and they have to show up

at court, in case she get´s convicted, they might throw her out of germany,

but probably only after several severe delicts like that one.

Anyway, I waited much to long, maybe I´m lucky to have to pay *only*

about 3000 US$ for my divorce and no support to her, but you never

know how german divorce-laws turn out for you.

She lied everyday to me for 4 and half years now, with big things and small

things, about her age, about her kids, about the number of her kids, about

what she is doing when she didn´t come home at night and I ######´still miss

her. One sad thing is, that you start to hate thais in a certain way, you

don´t believe much what thais say to you, but somehow you still can´s stop

thinking the usual thoughts : when will you be able to visit thailand again,

is there any way to make a living in thailand, you know that it wouldn´t

turn out for you when even a crazy small girl can treat you like that, when

will you be old and retired enough to live in thailand ? Just the usual

thoughts of an thailand-adict.

Another sad thing is : what I miss most especially when I´m in thailand are

the times upcountry, I see no way to have that and stay there without of a

close relationship to a thai family, so I am *tourist* again.

Don´t get me wrong, as I said in other postings, she wasn´t from the bar

scene, shure she isn´t very educated and got much problems, but she has

a lot of good typical thai parts too.

When I told my parents more than 4 years ago, that I will bring a thai-girl

to germany, they were ######´ shocked and angry. After they had met her

several times, they were rather happy about my choice. For nearly 2 years.

Since 2 years they don´t want to see her and my wife is to scared to visit

them.

I hope it´s over soon and I get my time to calm down my often bad thoughts

about thais and thailand, as I know that I never will be able to finish with

that country.

Due to a job it will probably take 1 week before I´ll have internet again.

I´ll comeback next monday and look for that thread.

Karl

------------------------------------------

I don´t think this post is such a great idea, but it´s not my idea.

posting the recent discussion on SCT like this would be more than confusing,

it´s a longer thread and the result is like here so far, a lot of pissed off ppl,

a few attemts to help with no results, the result of the discussion was

more or less that there are no NGOs in thailand that help thai prisoners.

her mail adress :

Nattiya Mapiam

11./ Damrong Road

Taladjai Muang, Phuket

83000 Thailand

my e-mail adress :

[email protected]