The Legalities Oif Splitting From Long Term Thai Girlfriend

[Misplaced]

Sounds like Common-Law marriage

[bunnaag]

I have been living with a Thai Girl for 3.5 years.

We had a Thai village ceremony, I paid the Mother 100,000 baht

Now when we have had an argument or 3 she tells me that if she leaves me that she will go to court and make me pay her #.

The reasoning is that she has lost 3 1/2 years and has no prospects for the future.

I bought 11 rai of land in a company name (leaving the legalities of that aside) can she make me give her half or aproportion of that land

and also make mepay her a lump sum or monthly payments?

If You did not give her a monthly "salary" and if You did not build at least a house for her or her parents then she can request some compensation,because she could have earned money in the meantime.If the land You bought is near the village of Your girl friend then You can write it off.I do not think anybody would by it.As already mentioned the loss of face also has to be compensated.Go away forget the land.

[Pierrot]

But seriously (and i do know this country very well) in shall we say the better circles of society this is in NO WAY COMMON - if i may repeat myself i have never heard of a girl going to the BIB with allegations that resulted in consequences for the farang post or during a breakup. Mind you it could be that I just dont get involved with prostitutes or the sort of level of intellect that these people must have to do such a thing.

You're absolutely right, they don't go to the BIB, they call their lawyer, IMO it's much more painful.

[hasher69]

Ok Thanx again for all your replies.

I would assume then that there would be no legal obligation to pay up any money should a split occur.

Should the split happen by the way it will be her who instigates it, well that is how it stands at present.

So it would not be me kicking her out so really to pay her for loss of face when she breks up would seem rather bizarre!

[SnakeBite]

In the eyes of her family & relatives you are married, if you dump her she loses face & may not get another decent bf (thai) becuase of her relationship with you & also due to being dumped by you, so in this situation it is sometimes expected that she receive some kind of "compensation" for feelings hurt.

This is what happens for example between a thai couple who are either engaged or who have "married" int he village & then the man breaks it off. His family will feel obliged to offer compensation to the girls family for her/their loss of face & also to appease his families loss of face within their community.

This is a situation that happened in my husbands family recently. The dumped girl (who had been living, after a village ceromony, with her "husband") was given 30k baht in hurt feeling renumeration when her husband decided he didn't want to be "married" with her anymore.

I'm NOT going to read further than the first page to make my comment. You paid sinsot (wrong to begin with "registered" marriage or not. Sinsot is for the COUPLE to share to make things work, not for the parents to take. You bought land in a company name of which you gave her and whoever nominees control over (over 50%, second mistake), you either find someone to take over this company or just get at least a majority of holders to sell the land. You ask if people want to buy the land but where is it and would ANYONE want it? People here do stupid things and you have done it multiple times. It's like MOST people say here in Thailand: Would you do this with a woman in YOUR own country?

Basic thing is it's NOT a legal marriage and not binding by Thai law. Tell her to fuc_k off but not until you have covered your butt with the nominees. How much do you want to spend to cover your ass? Not too many people (farang or Thai) will jump into this situation spending their own money.

Sounds more like a troll than anything else.

[SnakeBite]

Losing face, is there a price tag on this and who the he11 is losing face here? Is it him because she SAYS he's fooling around or is it her because he's CUT off the ATM machine?

[JimsKnight]

Surely she doesn't have a leg to stand on.

Well it's interesting because a good student friend of mine was paid off 300,000 baht by her first boyfriend when he kept playing away from home and she'd had enough.

Because he had taken her virginity and with it her marriage prospects of high sin sod as well as being a bit of an emotional wreck for a while he gave monetry compensation.

This wasn't done in the courts though. It was more of a moral obligation I suppose.

[Bizz]

Worse case scenario is that you get your Dic* cut off and feed to the ducks

[jackr]

If You did not give her a monthly "salary" and if You did not build at least a house for her or her parents then she can request some compensation,because she could have earned money in the meantime.

What a load of codswallop. Where does it say that in any Thai constitution?

If I were you, op, I would get all cosy with her over the coming weeks/months, keep her happy and then suddenly have the idea of buying/building a mansion. You will of course need to sell the land to raise more capital and tell her it will need to go into your account to please the authorities blah blah. The rest is a no brainer... simply get out of dodge and leave her <deleted> all

You may not want to resort to this but if she is making petty overtures of this nature every time you have a ding dong, I'd say it'd be in your best interests.

[AmeriThai]

Ok Thanx again for all your replies.

I would assume then that there would be no legal obligation to pay up any money should a split occur.

Should the split happen by the way it will be her who instigates it, well that is how it stands at present.

So it would not be me kicking her out so really to pay her for loss of face when she breks up would seem rather bizarre!

It may seem bizarre, but if you've lived with her for 3.5 years, you should already know by now that bizarre things can often be expected. As stated, although you haven't registered the marriage (meaning it's a common-law marriage), it's still seen as a marriage in the eyes of the family and community.

If neither she nor her family have any legal holdings in the 11 rai property, you might be able to dispose of it. If she leaves you, I'd suggest you agree on and provide her with a regular monthly compensation. Again, even if she and her family have no legal connection to the property, she DID help you get a better price for it, so they may see that alone as significant as well. The point is to pay her on a regular basis. During that time, sell off the property and get out of Dodge. Once you've moved, then stop making the payments. I would recommend to NOT move to any location you and she may have frequented in the past. Otherwise she could well know where to look for you. Move to a different location. You need to do this all as silently as possible. If they find out about the sale, just tell them you were given a fair offer and felt it was a good idea to sell it. Don't discuss the amount of the sale, or just tell them you're breaking even on it. You don't need to attract any unwanted attention or raise any warning flags. DO NOT STOP THOSE PAYMENTS UNTIL YOU'VE COMPLETELY MOVED. You should open an account with a completely different bank outside of the community and well before any separation or transactions take place anyway.

Once the sale goes through, and you've been paid, then move. You might have to leave things behind. When you're out of the area, then stop making the payments to the g/f. Although some have said safety issues are of no need to be concerned with, I disagree. If she's already shown a certain amount of jealousy, or shown a lot of anger on a increasing basis, then I'd sugges that alone should be of some concern at the very least. Better to take things safe than to be sorry.

[JimsKnight]

If You did not give her a monthly "salary" and if You did not build at least a house for her or her parents then she can request some compensation,because she could have earned money in the meantime.If the land You bought is near the village of Your girl friend then You can write it off.I do not think anybody would by it.As already mentioned the loss of face also has to be compensated.Go away forget the land.

Monthly salary? Are you for real? Unless there are serious overheads (ie kids etc ) What the heck for?

The man is the breadwinner in Asia, if the wife can't work for sure you take care for her. But giving her a salary whilly nilly? That's a bit too close to a prostitute wife IMHO.

Or build a house instead? What the hel_l is that all about?! Rent Rent Rent is the key here brothers

Sorry but I think you're a bit extreme in assuming that the man is obliged to pay the girl when married. If you get with the girl then if she is able she can get work, it's not like it's easy for the farang to just waltz into a job out here you know

[bunnaag]

If You did not give her a monthly "salary" and if You did not build at least a house for her or her parents then she can request some compensation,because she could have earned money in the meantime.If the land You bought is near the village of Your girl friend then You can write it off.I do not think anybody would by it.As already mentioned the loss of face also has to be compensated.Go away forget the land.

Monthly salary? Are you for real? Unless there are serious overheads (ie kids etc ) What the heck for?

The man is the breadwinner in Asia, if the wife can't work for sure you take care for her. But giving her a salary whilly nilly? That's a bit too close to a prostitute wife IMHO.

Or build a house instead? What the hel_l is that all about?! Rent Rent Rent is the key here brothers

Sorry but I think you're a bit extreme in assuming that the man is obliged to pay the girl when married. If you get with the girl then if she is able she can get work, it's not like it's easy for the farang to just waltz into a job out here you know

Do You know where he met her and what he promised her?The monthly salary and the house was ment sarcastically.By the way in Thailand normally both work husband and wife.The man is not the only breadwinner.

[Mobi]

I can imagine that it may happen if the gullable farangs that are in abundance here get involved with the prostitutes from the infamous districts and plod back to Isaan thinking life is rosy with their little isaan yaba honey straight from nana.............som num na

But seriously (and i do know this country very well) in shall we say the better circles of society this is in NO WAY COMMON - if i may repeat myself i have never heard of a girl going to the BIB with allegations that resulted in consequences for the farang post or during a breakup. Mind you it could be that I just dont get involved with prostitutes or the sort of level of intellect that these people must have to do such a thing.

You should not lead people to believe it is common! if i or anyone i know in Thailand has never seen it in 15 years....then it cant be that common (in my sheltered life here of course)

Here we go again - you are worse than the Thais with your "holier than thou crap", and your denigration of people you clearly know nothing about.

I have been coming to and living in LOS since the early 1970's and believe me, you still have a lot to learn about Thailand and the Thai people,or you wouldn't write prejudiced crap like this.

Get real, it happens - whether you like it or not - in all echelons of Thai society.

The Thai soap operas are not a million miles from the truth.

[macduff]

I can imagine that it may happen if the gullable farangs that are in abundance here get involved with the prostitutes from the infamous districts and plod back to Isaan thinking life is rosy with their little isaan yaba honey straight from nana.............som num na

But seriously (and i do know this country very well) in shall we say the better circles of society this is in NO WAY COMMON - if i may repeat myself i have never heard of a girl going to the BIB with allegations that resulted in consequences for the farang post or during a breakup. Mind you it could be that I just dont get involved with prostitutes or the sort of level of intellect that these people must have to do such a thing.

You should not lead people to believe it is common! if i or anyone i know in Thailand has never seen it in 15 years....then it cant be that common (in my sheltered life here of course)

Here we go again - you are worse than the Thais with your "holier than thou crap", and your denigration of people you clearly know nothing about.

I have been coming to and living in LOS since the early 1970's and believe me, you still have a lot to learn about Thailand and the Thai people,or you wouldn't write prejudiced crap like this.

Get real, it happens - whether you like it or not - in all echelons of Thai society.

The Thai soap operas are not a million miles from the truth.

Your absolutely bang on there, i watch those soap opera,s your talking about and it's all about revenge on every episode

[BKK2509]

Speaking as a Thai woman I know that in Thailand, even if you are legally married, when you get divorced, you don't have to do anything, just TAKE OFF. But make sure you sign the divorce paper so you can remarry in the future. You can't get the SIN-SOD back, too bad! Just RUN miles.

Mind you, if you were legally married and bought land or a house, your wife will get all of the assets. It's the Thai law.

[bunnaag]

Speaking as a Thai woman I know that in Thailand, even if you are legally married, when you get divorced, you don't have to do anything, just TAKE OFF. But make sure you sign the divorce paper so you can remarry in the future. You can't get the SIN-SOD back, too bad! Just RUN miles.

Mind you, if you were legally married and bought land or a house, your wife will get all of the assets. It's the Thai law.

According to Thai law if you were legally married the assets aquired during marriage are split 50:50.

[allexx]

She has no legal claims as you were not legally married. As others have said, common law marriages are not recognised in LOS. I'm not an expert, but in my experience a vast majority of marriages in rural Thailand are not legal, which is why so many Thai men walk away from their families with impunity. Your girl friend would be well aware of this, and she is only putting pressure on you because you are a farang.

As GH said, we don't have any background on the breakdown of your relationship, but regardless of who is the 'guilty ' party, you should proceed with extreme caution.

Forget about trying to get the sin sod back, but you may want to consider using it as a negotiating ploy.

The ownership of the land doesn't sound too good and it really depends on how 'street wise' she is and whether she will go to the lengths of hiring a lawyer. If she does, you may well have problems.

It is not uncommon for Thai ladies to go to the BIB and and claim that they have been assaulted by their farang boy friends. They will give the BIB a small bung and you could have a lot of problems.

It is also relatively cheap to arrange for you to suffer more permanent damage.

Moving on quickly may be the best and safest plan.

...so bottomline is ....Find It...<deleted> It...Forget It....nah?

[dekka007]

you wouldn't write prejudiced crap like this.

Exactly how is that prejudiced? I was simply stating that guys who get involved with Isaan prostitutes or that level of society in a mixed farang/thai relationship are asking for trouble as I think most Thailand aware people would agree.

The Thai soap operas are not a million miles from the truth.

oh dear....you think mate. Even my GF had a good chuckle and raised eyebrow at that line - Next you will be telling me WarAngels is not far from the truth as to what happens in a Thai airline.

Anyway, my apologies if I hit a raw never with the prosititute thing.....

My final point is this your statement that revenge through the BIB against a farang by a thai female is not uncommon. Is incorrect it is UNCOMMON!

Great that you have been coming here since the 1970's however you are obviously hanging around the wrong people if they have got you believing that Thai Soap Opera's are not far from the truth and paid revenge attacks by the BiB against farangs from their thai girfriends/wifes are the norm jesus.......closed case

Edited October 30, 2008 by dekka007

[jackr]

Speaking as a Thai woman I know that in Thailand, even if you are legally married, when you get divorced, you don't have to do anything, just TAKE OFF. But make sure you sign the divorce paper so you can remarry in the future. You can't get the SIN-SOD back, too bad! Just RUN miles.

Mind you, if you were legally married and bought land or a house, your wife will get all of the assets. It's the Thai law.

As a Thai woman you don't know much about Thai law, then, although no surprise there

[Gary A]

You are not legally married and if not for the land, you could walk away. I don't know where the land is located BUT getting a 300,000 baht discount sounds a little strange. If the land is upcountry, 300,000 baht could easily be the total purchase price for normal farm land.

The bogus company you used to buy the land is going to be a problem. She is apparently a nominee and as you should know, that is not legal. If you are able to sell and split the money, I think you would be fortunate.

[jayjayjayjay]

If You did not give her a monthly "salary" and if You did not build at least a house for her or her parents then she can request some compensation,because she could have earned money in the meantime.

What a load of codswallop. Where does it say that in any Thai constitution?

If I were you, op, I would get all cosy with her over the coming weeks/months, keep her happy and then suddenly have the idea of buying/building a mansion. You will of course need to sell the land to raise more capital and tell her it will need to go into your account to please the authorities blah blah. The rest is a no brainer... simply get out of dodge and leave her <deleted> all

You may not want to resort to this but if she is making petty overtures of this nature every time you have a ding dong, I'd say it'd be in your best interests.

dito

[bunnaag]

If You did not give her a monthly "salary" and if You did not build at least a house for her or her parents then she can request some compensation,because she could have earned money in the meantime.

What a load of codswallop. Where does it say that in any Thai constitution?

If I were you, op, I would get all cosy with her over the coming weeks/months, keep her happy and then suddenly have the idea of buying/building a mansion. You will of course need to sell the land to raise more capital and tell her it will need to go into your account to please the authorities blah blah. The rest is a no brainer... simply get out of dodge and leave her <deleted> all

You may not want to resort to this but if she is making petty overtures of this nature every time you have a ding dong, I'd say it'd be in your best interests.

dito Why dont you read post 42 again where I have explained that it was ment sarcastically.

[Edonista]

You are not legally married and if not for the land, you could walk away. I don't know where the land is located BUT getting a 300,000 baht discount sounds a little strange. If the land is upcountry, 300,000 baht could easily be the total purchase price for normal farm land.

The bogus company you used to buy the land is going to be a problem. She is apparently a nominee and as you should know, that is not legal. If you are able to sell and split the money, I think you would be fortunate.

He probably paid a 300,000 baht overprice the wife pocketed in

[Samuian]

Thnx for all the comments.

As far as the land goes she is a share holder but has signed a paper so that I can get her replaced

But I take the point I must be careful that she does not rally around the other share holders and get me voted out.

Anyone want some land ??

What is this about getting the "sin sod" back?

never heard of that, maybe I could say that because I am entitled to getting it back that the family keep in in lieu of

any further pAYMENTS.

Act, stop talking, if it's over, it's over, get her replaced as a shareholder and GET OUT OF THERE!

Everything else could easily mean trouble, bad trouble!

[Mobi]

1.Exactly how is that prejudiced? I was simply stating that guys who get involved with Isaan prostitutes or that level of society in a mixed farang/thai relationship are asking for trouble as I think most Thailand aware people would agree.

2. oh dear....you think mate. Even my GF had a good chuckle and raised eyebrow at that line - Next you will be telling me WarAngels is not far from the truth as to what happens in a Thai airline.

Anyway, my apologies if I hit a raw never with the prosititute thing.....

My final point is this your statement that revenge through the BIB against a farang by a thai female is not uncommon. Is incorrect it is UNCOMMON!

Great that you have been coming here since the 1970's 3.however you are obviously hanging around the wrong people if they have got you believing that Thai Soap Opera's are not far from the truth and paid revenge attacks by the BiB against farangs from their thai girfriends/wifes are the norm jesus.......closed case

1. No you didn't.

You said: I can imagine that it may happen if the gullable farangs that are in abundance here get involved with the prostitutes from the infamous districts and plod back to Isaan thinking life is rosy with their little isaan yaba honey straight from nana.............som num n...

And then you said: shall we say the better circles of society ......I just dont get involved with prostitutes or the sort of level of intellect that these people must have to do such a thing.

And that my fiend, is supercilious, prejudiced crap of the first order, bordering on racism.

2. Well she would wouldn't she? However, I doubt whether you will be chuckling too much if she ever starts to mimic the soap stars - which many people in ordinary life do these days - but not of course in your perfect little world where there are no prostitutes, no bad women with bad hearts, and everybody lives in love, peace and understanding across the cultural divide

3. With the greatest respect, I think it is you that is hanging around with the wrong people. I worked in Bangkok for over 10 years, have also lived in Bang Saen, and for the past 5 years have lived 15 kms East of Pattaya in a genuine Thai village community. I have also travelled extensively throughout Thailand,have stayed in rural areas for long periods of time, and have many Thai friends of the so called middle (professional) and upper classes. I don't believe things that people tell me, I believe it when I see it for myself.

OK , it may not be that common, but such behaviour certainly occurs, and your advice to the OP to ignore the "Drama Queen's warnings was just plain irresponsible.

[hasher69]

One thing I forgot to mention is that she is still married legally to a Farang.

They split up a year before I met her.

She had been duped by a kiwi boyfriend , she was not working in a bar then, but since when we broke up she went and worked

as bar girl. we then got back together. Crazy of me I know , but the affairs of the heart and all that make us do these things.

So although I had a village ceremony , for face vale, I cannot be considered married to her.

And any lose of face has already ocurred when she separated from her first and only husband

So the land is my only problem

[dekka007]

OK , it may not be that common

Thank you... Thats all I was trying to say and now you agree.

but not of course in your perfect little world where there are no prostitutes, no bad women with bad hearts, and everybody lives in love, peace and understanding across the cultural divide

Bliss....

Edited October 30, 2008 by dekka007

[rick75]

If a girl is willing to work in the Bar environment to earn cash and she lives in a country where life is cheap and a hit could cost maybe 10 000 - 20 000 bht and she stands to make many hundreds of thousands of Baht out of such unfortunate death, would she consider it.

hel_l yeah

I wonder if this is so uncommon why every week another Farang suffocates himself to death with a plastic bag or jumps of a balcony with his hands tied behind his back or shoots himself while he is handcuffed to a bed.

Come on wake up, it happens enough to show a little concern with dealing with type of matter.

Mobi is right its irresponsible to not give the dude a heads up when he is in a potentially dangerous situation.

Edited October 30, 2008 by rick75

[dekka007]

Looking back the OP at no time mentioned the threat of violence from the girl involved. no statement that says she is considering going to the police giving them a bung and making the OP life difficult. She talked about going to court

No statement saying that she is going to pay someone 20k to kill the OP.

So along come the resident TV drama queens - so they have something to talk about on the barstool in walking street tonight and hijack the thread with their happening everyday to farang stories mythical Hitman, BiB making the OP life difficult, Balconies, D*ck cutoff.

Yes I agree they make some peoples life more interesting to read about these very uncommon occurrences on TV, but at the end of the day....its all very very rare, very very uncommon and the chances of it happening to the OP are very close to nil.

Edited October 30, 2008 by dekka007

[rick75]

Of course she would come out and say that she will have him killed.