hasher69 Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 I have been living with a Thai Girl for 3.5 years. We had a Thai village ceremony, I paid the Mother 100,000 baht Now when we have had an argument or 3 she tells me that if she leaves me that she will go to court and make me pay her #. The reasoning is that she has lost 3 1/2 years and has no prospects for the future. I bought 11 rai of land in a company name (leaving the legalities of that aside) can she make me give her half or aproportion of that land and also make mepay her a lump sum or monthly payments? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonrakers Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Surely she doesn't have a leg to stand on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 I have been living with a Thai Girl for 3.5 years.We had a Thai village ceremony, I paid the Mother 100,000 baht Now when we have had an argument or 3 she tells me that if she leaves me that she will go to court and make me pay her #. The reasoning is that she has lost 3 1/2 years and has no prospects for the future. I bought 11 rai of land in a company name (leaving the legalities of that aside) can she make me give her half or aproportion of that land and also make mepay her a lump sum or monthly payments? Technically you are not legally married then, as Thailand doesnt recognise a common law wife, losing 3.5 years would not be a legal claim in court......however not coughing up something in this situation could be hazardous to your health..seriously, she could put a complaint in with BiB, whether true or not and your life could become very difficult from that point of view as well. In your case, I would suggest you seriously consider offering something as a pay off for "services rendered" and walk away. Seeing as you have 11 Rai of land in a company, who are the registered share holders of the company, hope not the GF...??....because if she/relatives have 51% majority in the company, you could be f*kced on that front as well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerryd Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 I have been living with a Thai Girl for 3.5 years.We had a Thai village ceremony, I paid the Mother 100,000 baht Was that a wedding ceremony ? Sounds like you paid Sin Sod (which would only normally be done if you are marrying the person). If so, then she's your wife and would be entitled to a settlement of sorts. Not sure if divorce works here like it does in the West, but yeah, I doubt you are going to walk away with all the assets and leave her with nought but memories. Negotiations may be in order, unless you fancy your chances in a Thai court. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pierrot Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 (edited) edited Edited October 29, 2008 by Pierrot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samuibeachcomber Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 agree with last poster,need to know who are the directors.She's winding you up over the 3.5 years ,you could make counter claim for same reason! Maybe safer to walk away and put it down to experience,not to be repeated. Just an aside i cannot see for the life of me why males are expected to pay sin sod,just ridiculous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 I have been living with a Thai Girl for 3.5 years.We had a Thai village ceremony, I paid the Mother 100,000 baht Was that a wedding ceremony ? Sounds like you paid Sin Sod (which would only normally be done if you are marrying the person). If so, then she's your wife and would be entitled to a settlement of sorts. Not sure if divorce works here like it does in the West, but yeah, I doubt you are going to walk away with all the assets and leave her with nought but memories. Negotiations may be in order, unless you fancy your chances in a Thai court. As far as I understand things, the village ceremony is not a "legal" marriage, but for all intents and purposes the OP is "married" in the eyes of the GF, family etc, and suppose she could prove to the court she actually is married as there has been a village cermony and sin sot has been paid... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuestHouse Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 I think you might have a claim to have the Sin Sod returned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PoorSucker Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Sell the company fast and move. You might end up falling of a balcony in Pattaya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soundman Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 In the eyes of the law the marriage is only legal once you go and register it at the amphur. If you have not done this, you are not "legally" married. In the eyes of the local community, you had a marriage celebration, you are therefore considered man and wife irrespective of any paperwork. If you plan on staying in that community, I would advise to try and come to some sort of amicable dissolution of the relationship. If you are getting out of dodge and not "legally" married - up to you! You don't legally owe her anything, however, morally you might feel obliged - up to you.... Good luck, Soundman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samuibeachcomber Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 I think you might have a claim to have the Sin Sod returned. too bl--dy right,but it will have been spent by now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geekfreaklover Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 She is not legally entitled to anything more than she already has. Get your finances together and move at least three provencies away. good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hasher69 Posted October 29, 2008 Author Share Posted October 29, 2008 Thnx for all the comments. As far as the land goes she is a share holder but has signed a paper so that I can get her replaced But I take the point I must be careful that she does not rally around the other share holders and get me voted out. Anyone want some land ?? What is this about getting the "sin sod" back? never heard of that, maybe I could say that because I am entitled to getting it back that the family keep in in lieu of any further pAYMENTS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 What is this about getting the "sin sod" back?never heard of that, maybe I could say that because I am entitled to getting it back that the family keep in in lieu of any further pAYMENTS. In your situation I would not be d*cking around with trying to get THB 100,000 back, in principle you dont need to make any further payments.. If you have no intention neg a mutally acceptable solution...cash up and get the h*ll out a long way away and dont live in a condo above the 1st floor... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuestHouse Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 I think however before passing judgement we need some idea what the arguments are about. If she's being totally unreasonable and objecting to you getting a younger model in then I would say 'watch out for the payout' - She might well take this to the BiB who will sympathise with her and agree on your behalf to a payment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hasher69 Posted October 29, 2008 Author Share Posted October 29, 2008 What is BiB ? Sorry to show my ignorance! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkkjames Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 What is BiB ?Sorry to show my ignorance! Never ever pay Sin Sod. BIB means : That thing children put around their heads when they cry over spilled milk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 What is BiB ?Sorry to show my ignorance! Never ever pay Sin Sod. BIB means : That thing children put around their heads when they cry over spilled milk. To answer the OP..... BiB...Boys in Brown....Police...Royal Thai Police's finest... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mobi Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 (edited) She has no legal claims as you were not legally married. As others have said, common law marriages are not recognised in LOS. I'm not an expert, but in my experience a vast majority of marriages in rural Thailand are not legal, which is why so many Thai men walk away from their families with impunity. Your girl friend would be well aware of this, and she is only putting pressure on you because you are a farang. As GH said, we don't have any background on the breakdown of your relationship, but regardless of who is the 'guilty ' party, you should proceed with extreme caution. Forget about trying to get the sin sod back, but you may want to consider using it as a negotiating ploy. The ownership of the land doesn't sound too good and it really depends on how 'street wise' she is and whether she will go to the lengths of hiring a lawyer. If she does, you may well have problems. It is not uncommon for Thai ladies to go to the BIB and and claim that they have been assaulted by their farang boy friends. They will give the BIB a small bung and you could have a lot of problems. It is also relatively cheap to arrange for you to suffer more permanent damage. Moving on quickly may be the best and safest plan. Edited October 29, 2008 by Mobi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hasher69 Posted October 29, 2008 Author Share Posted October 29, 2008 She has no legal claims as you were not legally married. As others have said, common law marriages are not recognised in LOS. I'm not an expert, but in my experience a vast majority of marriages in rural Thailand are not legal, which is why so many Thai men walk away from their families with impunity. Your girl friend would be well aware of this, and she is only putting pressure on you because you are a farang.As GH said, we don't have any background on the breakdown of your relationship, but regardless of who is the 'guilty ' party, you should proceed with extreme caution. Forget about trying to get the sin sod back, but you may want to consider using it as a negotiating ploy. The ownership of the land doesn't sound too good and it really depends on how 'street wise' she is and whether she will go to the lengths of hiring a lawyer. If she does, you may well have problems. It is not uncommon for Thai ladies to go to the BIB and and claim that they have been assaulted by their farang boy friends. They will give the BIB a small bung and you could have a lot of problems. It is also relatively cheap to arrange for you to suffer more permanent damage. Moving on quickly may be the best and safest plan. Thank you very much. It may not come to a break up but it is best to be prepared. I will endeavour to sell the land or Company then I will be in a better position too move on. Hope a braek does not come before that. The reason for the argumants is is she accuses me of not wanting her and also she accuses me of wanting to go with other Thai "Ladies" I only ever "Window shop" never go off with anyone but the Thai "Jealousyfactor is very strong. So strong that they end up believing what they thought about in the first place. Maybe it is a "self fulfiulling prophesy" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dekka007 Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 (edited) It is not uncommon for Thai ladies to go to the BIB and and claim that they have been assaulted by their farang boy friends. They will give the BIB a small bung and you could have a lot of problems. Really...cant be that common never heard of it happening in all my years in Thailand or know anyone in the last 15 years living here who has had anything like that happen and ive seen some bad breakups. Perhaps I just mix among and get involved with a better quality of person To the OP dont worry about it just go dont give it too much thought the resident ThaiVisa Drama queens will try scare u with horror stories that may have occurred once in history - urbanmyths and by no means common. You'll be fine. Edited October 29, 2008 by dekka007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hasher69 Posted October 29, 2008 Author Share Posted October 29, 2008 Regarding the "Sin Sod" yes I paid 100,000 baht But my GF got me 300,000 baht off the price of the land, I think withh all the parties gold etc for the ceremony it cost about 300,000 baht so I figure that I broke even! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zorro1 Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 What is BiB ?Sorry to show my ignorance! Never ever pay Sin Sod. BIB means : That thing children put around their heads when they cry over spilled milk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 I only ever "Window shop" never go off with anyone but the Thai "Jealousyfactor is very strong. Which could result in a certain part of your anatomy being used as duck food.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 In the eyes of her family & relatives you are married, if you dump her she loses face & may not get another decent bf (thai) becuase of her relationship with you & also due to being dumped by you, so in this situation it is sometimes expected that she receive some kind of "compensation" for feelings hurt. This is what happens for example between a thai couple who are either engaged or who have "married" int he village & then the man breaks it off. His family will feel obliged to offer compensation to the girls family for her/their loss of face & also to appease his families loss of face within their community. This is a situation that happened in my husbands family recently. The dumped girl (who had been living, after a village ceromony, with her "husband") was given 30k baht in hurt feeling renumeration when her husband decided he didn't want to be "married" with her anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Forgot to add, this is of course thai-thai agreements where strong family & neighbourly bonds are hard to break or step on & doing this kind of compensation keeps peace within a community. You are a farang have no such ties to their community so up to you (as they say) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mobi Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 It is not uncommon for Thai ladies to go to the BIB and and claim that they have been assaulted by their farang boy friends. They will give the BIB a small bung and you could have a lot of problems. Really...cant be that common never heard of it happening in all my years in Thailand or know anyone in the last 15 years living here who has had anything like that happen and ive seen some bad breakups. Perhaps I just mix among and get involved with a better quality of person To the OP dont worry about it just go dont give it too much thought the resident ThaiVisa Drama queens will try scare u with horror stories that may have occurred once in history - urbanmyths and by no means common. You'll be fine. You have obviously lived a very sheltered life. I think you need to get to know a bit more about the country you live in Believe me, it happens, and more than that, there have been at least two farangs killed by Thai wives/gf's in the past year alone in my neck of the woods. But the middle classes and upper classes are not averse to trying to bump off their spouses, or get them committed etc etc. Read the newspapers. I know Pattaya is Deadwood but the girls who perpetrate these crimes all hail from Issan. Many are unstable due to their impovershed childhoods, and life is cheap in LOS. Drama Queen? - Sorry, not the type. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dekka007 Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 (edited) You have obviously lived a very sheltered life. I think you need to get to know a bit more about the country you live inBelieve me, it happens, and more than that, there have been at least two farangs killed by Thai wives/gf's in the past year alone in my neck of the woods. But the middle classes and upper classes are not averse to trying to bump off their spouses, or get them committed etc etc. Read the newspapers. I know Pattaya is Deadwood but the girls who perpetrate these crimes all hail from Issan. Many are unstable due to their impovershed childhoods, and life is cheap in LOS. Drama Queen? - Sorry, not the type. I can imagine that it may happen if the gullable farangs that are in abundance here get involved with the prostitutes from the infamous districts and plod back to Isaan thinking life is rosy with their little isaan yaba honey straight from nana.............som num na But seriously (and i do know this country very well) in shall we say the better circles of society this is in NO WAY COMMON - if i may repeat myself i have never heard of a girl going to the BIB with allegations that resulted in consequences for the farang post or during a breakup. Mind you it could be that I just dont get involved with prostitutes or the sort of level of intellect that these people must have to do such a thing. You should not lead people to believe it is common! if i or anyone i know in Thailand has never seen it in 15 years....then it cant be that common (in my sheltered life here of course) Edited October 29, 2008 by dekka007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geekfreaklover Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 I can imagine that it may happen if the gullable farangs that are in abundance here get involved with the whores from the infamous districts and plod back to the jungle thinking life is rosy with their little isaan yaba honey straight from nana.............som num na I think there is a certain amount of truth to this, setting aside the terms used ('whores' 'jungle' etc.) If a Farang is in a relationship with a Thai national and the Farang is naive about the situation then he is set to be expolited. In the relationship or trying to get out of it. However, if the Thai family know that the Farang has other long term Farang friends along with with Thai friends of standing -in the police or local government etc than he would usually be left alone to a certain extent. Exception being if a large amount of money was potenially left to the Thai spouse after his disposal. My advice would be to cut the loses and run. It seems that the op does not have the required connections to deal with the problem locally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dekka007 Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 I think there is a certain amount of truth to this, setting aside the terms used ('whores' 'jungle' etc.) your right.. post edited to be more politically correct Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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