Mandych Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Do anybody have a thai boyfriend and how you get along with them? Are you happy with your relationship and any problem encounter? I am a farang girl and not live in Thailand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Read back on some of the posts mandych, most of us on here are either married/ with or have had relationships with thai men. What of your own expericences, do you have a boyfriend in thailand? What is it you really want to know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 I agree with Boo, what specifically are you curious about?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 could we have a troll on our hands sbk? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 Give her (him?) a chance. I have been busy lately and haven't been checking Thaivisa as often as before. Perhaps this person just hasn't had a chance to get back to us? I like to think the best of people. But screw me and watch out! I am a vicious vindictive person Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 (edited) Of course you are, your a woman Edited December 8, 2004 by Boo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandych Posted December 10, 2004 Author Share Posted December 10, 2004 I think trust is very important to long distance love. I feel insecure and lovely when I go back to my homeland. Actually, I see him once a month. Is it enough to maintain a relationship like this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SK1972 Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 Mandy............it all depends on what you want in life and how long you have known him. Long distance relationship is hard and if you want it to work, both of you will have to sacrifice and put a lot of effort into it. If trust is an issue in a relationship, that is already a warning sign. Trust is important in a long distance relationship. I do not blame you for feeling "insecure", after all this is Thailand. Most Thai men (before anyone gets huffy, I said MOST not ALL!!!) tend to have "mia nois" (mistresses) and frequent the "massage parlours". Both of you have to decide where your relationship is heading and what you both want. Have a detailed discussion with him. Maybe one of you have to "migrate", if thats what you BOTH want. You need to know how he feels about you before proceeding further. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandych Posted December 15, 2004 Author Share Posted December 15, 2004 Hi SK1972, Thanks for your reply. We had discussion before and I will imgrant to BKK and stay with him 2 years later. I want to earn more money in my homeland first. Besides, we meet each other once a month. We keep contact by talking on the phone. The problem is I call him only beacuse the IDD fee is too high for him. Also, we cannot keep contact in internet because he needs to go out to work everyday. So, I wonder how he cares about our relationship ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jai Noi Posted December 15, 2004 Share Posted December 15, 2004 Mandy............it all depends on what you want in life and how long you have Most Thai men (before anyone gets huffy, I said MOST not ALL!!!) tend to have "mia nois" (mistresses) and frequent the "massage parlours". <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I do not have mia nois so I frequent massage parlours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SK1972 Posted December 15, 2004 Share Posted December 15, 2004 Mandy......2 years seem like a long time for a long distance relationship. Do you think your relationship will withstand the time frame? However, please DO NOT migrate earlier if you think it is not worth it and jeapordize your career with your present firm. I think not calling you is utter rubbish. If IDD is cheaper where you are, he should at least offer to pay half your phone bill. Whether you take the money or not is irrelevant. A relationship is suppose to be a partnership......."not you pay all and he just takes". Is this the kind of man you want in your life? Let me take a wild guess, when you say you visit, means you are the one who pays for your own ticket to visit him................does he ever visit you or is it too expensive to fly to BKK instead. <deleted>!! From what you write here, I sense you have a lot of doubt which is not very encouraging. Doubts arise from instincts and if your instincts are telling you to thread carefully, it is not a positive sign. Take things slowly and let him make the first move. It doesnt necessary mean that once you move here, the relationship is going to last, you have to think of that too. I am not sure how long you have known him or how mature this guy is but I think you should not be the one sacrificing all the time for him! Jai Noi........good for you then!!! I am sure your wife would love to hear more about this..........can I have her no? Just kidding Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thailotus Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 Two years is really a long time. In any long distance relationship, one person has to make the sacrifice to be with the other unless it is for a specific time frame and then both parties have to make a sincere effort. I am also going through a long distance relationship. It isn't easy but we both know that the rewards will be great. It's pretty much countdown time though (only a few more months!). He calls me daily, sends messages, letters, presents. I feel totally loved. Yes, I do have bouts of panic and doubt when I don't hear from him (for a few hours!) but we both know that there are ups and downs and that's why we make such an effort to minimise the downs. I totally agree with SK1972's sentiments. Your man really needs to help you out with the phone bills. There are also so many phone cards now available on the internet to reduce call costs. Oh and another thing, I once before had a long distance relationship where I was making all the effort. I called, I emailed, I sent letters. He did visit but there was something seriously lacking. At the time I made excuses, "oh he's busy" etc but looking back, he just plain wasn't interested. It's hard to accept that sometimes (none of us like rejecction). And sometimes people don't like to confront the issue so instead of telling me he wasn't interested, he just dragged it on - wasting both my time and his. I know many people here are going to cringe, but maybe you should read, "The Rules" by Fein and Schneider. No, I don't agree with a lot of their suggestions, but some of the advice is quite timely. Cheers & good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wei Posted December 24, 2004 Share Posted December 24, 2004 long distance relationship can be tough, but then No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE. No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK. And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jai Noi Posted December 28, 2004 Share Posted December 28, 2004 Jai Noi........good for you then!!! I am sure your wife would love to hear more about this..........can I have her no? Just kidding <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I have had no wife thats why I do not have mai nois Just Returned from Full Moon Party and met a really nice English girl. Sadly, I was totally drunk then I lost her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thailotus Posted December 28, 2004 Share Posted December 28, 2004 What is this thing with men and massage parlours? It seems so animalistic (not being able to control urges). I would have thought restraint would be something to aspire to instead of giving in to debase urges. Just a thought for the guys out there. As for mia nois, isn't it just double the trouble for a man? More white hairs and an early grave IMHO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kreon Posted January 1, 2005 Share Posted January 1, 2005 What is this thing with men and massage parlours? It seems so animalistic (not being able to control urges). I would have thought restraint would be something to aspire to instead of giving in to debase urges. Just a thought for the guys out there.As for mia nois, isn't it just double the trouble for a man? More white hairs and an early grave IMHO! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> you're forget we're homosapians....what happens in the west that you are brainwashed to marry, have a famliy and control your urges in asia they don't..as yet.. listen to this crap....life goes on as before and its quite normal here for me i like students....are you one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seville Posted January 1, 2005 Share Posted January 1, 2005 long distance relationship can be tough, but then No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE. No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK. And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Sorry to say, but people fall out of love by chance all the time. Sometimes you just wake up and the magic is gone... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thailotus Posted January 1, 2005 Share Posted January 1, 2005 long distance relationship can be tough, but then No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE. No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK. And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Sorry to say, but people fall out of love by chance all the time. Sometimes you just wake up and the magic is gone... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Maybe that's because they weren't "truly" in love. What happened to the days of devotion and longing. I know people who once they fell in love, could never have anyone else. Sometimes that would mean ending up alone all their lives, but their devotion could never waiver. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted January 2, 2005 Share Posted January 2, 2005 Well, Seville, I have to agree with Thailotus on this one, if you have "fallen out of love" easily with someone then chances were it wasn't truly love in the first place. Most people have difficulty putting their relationship ahead of themselves and this usually leads to it's death. I believe that if you truly love someone then no matter what the problems you work them out. If you don't love them then it is no problem to just say, "oh well, too much trouble" . There is no problem my husband and I cannot work out, short of him turning out to be a closet axe murderer or something equally heinous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khon s'pore Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 Hi, I believe everyone here are thai ladies giving advice to mandy. This is my first time logging into this forum becoz i've just happen to find it. Maybe, u gals could give me some of your precious advice about Long Distance Relationship bcos I'm in one myself. But in this case now, I'm a singaporean Man. I know a gal in bangkok for 4 yrs. We met during work and just click off as friends (juz like any other relationship starting off from friendship). I've fallen in love wif her from the first time i saw her and that has not changed even until now. She knows my feelings for her ever since then. I've never like to hide my feelings when i love a person so all this is clear with her. Cutting story short, only after she visited s'pore has our relationship started to improve and 'seems' more like a steady relationship. she calls me more often than before. Having said that, i've been the one calling her in the past n now. I've visited Bangkok more times than i can remember (it was my first trip to bangkok that i know her), ever since then, my reason of going to bangkok was all for HER! As u can see, i'm a devoted man in love wif tis girl. But, pls dont be shocked! I've not hold her hand even once during this past 4 yrs. Why u may ask? Not tat i didn't want to but i just didn't feel 'right' to do it. Becoz, sometimes, i'm just so confused about her. things she do is contradicting me alot. sometimes, i feel she treated me like a normal friend more than a boyfriend. if its a normal friendship, i dont thk a girl will give me gifts that has her foto on it? or gifts that is her collection? But why is it that she treats me like a friend?? Or was it that she's shy and is waiting for me to take further steps (such as holding her hand), before she can do anything? i've met wif her family on 2 occasions now but her normal behaviour to me is really killing me. I'm not sure how to interpret it? Anyone have any idea, what is she trying to tell me? Like any relationship, its about trust but sometimes, i feel insecure, becoz she's a pretty lady and has a wide contacts. lately, my 6 sense tells me that she's hiding something from me? she told me she's gg vacation wif her relatives but as i know from her dad by accident (she didn't know wat i found out), she's going wif her friends. that makes me feeling more suspicious. And now, i'm not sure how to trust her. I did told her over the phone that i was angry wif her at some point during my stay in bangkok but didn't tel her wat i know. after that, she refuse to answer my call until she return from vacation. that time, i tot our relationship is gone and i've been trying hard to forget her then. but 3 weeks later, after she return from vacation, she calls me again. What do u girls think makes her wana call me after ignoring me for so long??? Can anyone tell me? Now, i'm so confused where do i stand now? am i juz a normal friend? Sigh..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 Think you got the wrong end of the stick, it isn't mostly Thai ladies but a mix with mostly western ladies. In this thread we are discussing how many of us have Thai boyfriends. But, to give you an answer, if you can't trust her and you feel she runs hot and cold then probably the relationship is going nowhere. Esp after all this time. Next time, try starting your own thread about it, you will probably find more responses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rainx Posted October 16, 2005 Share Posted October 16, 2005 khon s'pore, Holding hands? Don’t be fooled by what you see in the bars in Thailand. Some Thai women are brought up to be very old-fashioned. Typically, the more educated and wealthy the family, the more sexually conservative the daughters, and they typically don’t hang out in bars. (Okay, since things are changing so fast around here, this may or may not be true anymore, but most of my Thai friends from college are very old-fashioned, Thai style.) It is not uncommon to postpone all forms of physical intimacy. Some Thai women won’t even kiss their boyfriend until they get married. (If there’s no premarital kissing, you can forget about premarital sex.) Thai culture is very patriarchal, and (unfortunately) when it comes to sex, typical Thai men want to get what they want when they want it while at the same time marry chase women. It is no wonder prostitution cannot be eradicated. Okay, don’t want to start people flaming yet. Don’t know if you are ready for an analysis of Thai culture and history, anyway. Many conservative Thai women are afraid that if they have premarital physical intimacy, their boyfriend (old-fashioned boyfriend, especially) will lose respect for them. They don’t want to be thought of as “easy”. Many conservative Thai women will let the boyfriend do all the pursuing. If she does not call you but still talks to you when you call, perhaps she doesn’t call you because she doesn’t want to appear “easy”. Same reason she usually doesn’t chip in when you go out. For the conservative part of Thai society, easy=slut. (Excuse the foul language.) But sometimes women call their boyfriend to let him know that she still cares. Many conservative Thai women refer to their boyfriend as “friend”, but the meaning is often understood by both parties. One of the reasons is that if they later break up for any reasons, she won’t lose face. This does not mean she has the intention to break up eventually. Instead she maintains the safety guard in case the break up happens, i.e., the boyfriend cheats, the boyfriend wants to break up, etc. “Or was it that she's shy and is waiting for me to take further steps (such as holding her hand), before she can do anything?” Yes, very likely. Thai women may have platonic male friends. In friendship it is not uncommon to exchange gifts. This is just IMO. But again, I tend to stay in a conservative part of Thai society, so my viewpoint may be limited. Some Thai women are open-minded or Westernized. So if you have had some physical intimacy, don’t jump to the conclusion that she is a “bad” woman. If she has not brought up bank account information or asked for money, she is probably not a scammer. How do you know if you are more than a friend? Ask her in private. If you are more than a friend to her, she will say so if you ask, and, to emphasize, in private. Communication is the key in all relationships. By the way, have you read the book Thailand Fever? It may help clarify her seemingly obscure behaviors. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
siamesekitty Posted October 16, 2005 Share Posted October 16, 2005 Spot on about the Thai culture rainx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dara Posted October 16, 2005 Share Posted October 16, 2005 But why is it that she treats me like a friend?? Or was it that she's shy and is waiting for me to take further steps (such as holding her hand), before she can do anything? i've met wif her family on 2 occasions now but her normal behaviour to me is really killing me. I'm not sure how to interpret it? Anyone have any idea, what is she trying to tell me? Can anyone tell me? Now, i'm so confused where do i stand now? am i juz a normal friend? Sigh..... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I know we're a little off the original OP's topic, but K's'pore - it's good news that she introduced you to her family. The next step that she probably expects is for you to ask her to marry her - if she says yes, then you can ask her parents when you should send your parents/older relatives to formalize things. If all goes well, then the wedding date would be set. Don't get discouraged - most Thai girls above a certain socio-economic threshold have to protect their family's good name and courtship for them is very different from the western/modern practice. Rainx's comments are right on... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khon s'pore Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 sawasdee krub, to everyone who gave your advice to me. khob khun mak mak krhub. Actually, i have been wondering if she is one of those thai woman who are still conservative but after reading your (rainx) comments, i guess you have confirmed my guesses, she is one. I guess, sometimes, because i'm too worried of loosing her so my mind starts playing games on me. now, i'm feeling alot better. thank you all, once again. sawasdee krub! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britmaveric Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 sawasdee krub,to everyone who gave your advice to me. khob khun mak mak krhub. Actually, i have been wondering if she is one of those thai woman who are still conservative but after reading your (rainx) comments, i guess you have confirmed my guesses, she is one. I guess, sometimes, because i'm too worried of loosing her so my mind starts playing games on me. now, i'm feeling alot better. thank you all, once again. sawasdee krub! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Problem I see you haven't made any effort to be more than friend for her. She may be conservative, but I think 4yrs is way to long to wait for someone who hasnt even made the first move yet. Made your intentions clear, so if this is something she doesnt want than at least you won't be wasting your time in that way any longer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insight Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 (edited) Excellent post about Thai culture regarding females rainx, but this sentence made me laugh: Some Thai women won’t even kiss their boyfriend until they get married. (If there’s no premarital kissing, you can forget about premarital sex.) Nahhh??? /edit - speeling Edited October 17, 2005 by Insight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Girlfrombar Posted October 25, 2005 Share Posted October 25, 2005 Excellent post about Thai culture regarding females rainx, but this sentence made me laugh:Some Thai women won’t even kiss their boyfriend until they get married. (If there’s no premarital kissing, you can forget about premarital sex.) Nahhh??? /edit - speeling <{POST_SNAPBACK}> nothing funny but it's more than truth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted October 25, 2005 Share Posted October 25, 2005 Excellent post about Thai culture regarding females rainx, but this sentence made me laugh:Some Thai women won’t even kiss their boyfriend until they get married. (If there’s no premarital kissing, you can forget about premarital sex.) Nahhh??? /edit - speeling nothing funny but it's more than truth Agreed, for many more traditionally raised girls it is very much "Good girls don't and if you do you are promisuous" . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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