Thai Boyfriend

[Boo]

up to them, maybe thats the difference, I never wanted to marry a boy & thankfully married a man (&btw my husband is thai)

[bkkmadness]

Thats definately an attraction for farang guys out here though, the subserviant woman, and part of the reason that there are so many farang woman haters amongst the men here in Thailand. You see it often enough on this forum.

[Boo]

Tell me abt it bkk madness, but to presume that thai women are subservient or less opinionated than farang women is laughable, when most of them (farang men ) can be bothered to learn thai properly they will understand what their wives & gf's talk about & which they maybe can't articulate in English or can't be bothered to.

Ask a thai man what they think about their thai wife & they most will say the same as you farang guys do. Complain alot, demand too much, talk too much, nag too much. It's the nature of the beast.

[snoophound]

Its all perception

I have noticed the young thai/Asian gals use a lot more charm,cocquettishness than the boisterous Aus gals.

I think thats what shapes their opinions somewhat.

Tell me abt it bkk madness, but to presume that thai women are subservient or less opinionated than farang women is laughable, when most of them (farang men ) can be bothered to learn thai properly they will understand what their wives & gf's talk about & which they maybe can't articulate in English or can't be bothered to.

Ask a thai man what they think about their thai wife & they most will say the same as you farang guys do. Complain alot, demand too much, talk too much, nag too much. It's the nature of the beast.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[bkkmadness]

Tell me abt it bkk madness, but to presume that thai women are subservient or less opinionated than farang women is laughable, when most of them (farang men ) can be bothered to learn thai properly they will understand what their wives & gf's talk about & which they maybe can't articulate in English or can't be bothered to.

Ask a thai man what they think about their thai wife & they most will say the same as you farang guys do. Complain alot, demand too much, talk too much, nag too much. It's the nature of the beast.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thats certainly true, and I think a lot of farang guys want to keep their girls supposedly subserviant to a certain degree by having them speak pigeon English instead of learning Thai and actually finding out what their woman is all about.

I worded that wrongly to be honest. Many farang guys are happy to think of their wife as subserviant and wish to live blissfully ignorant of their woman's opinions so they can have their ego stroked daily. Does that make more sense?

You know what I mean anyways. I woke up too early to be articulate today.

Edited December 7, 2005 by bkkmadness

[sbk]

I couldn't possibly tell you what most Thai men want because I really think it depends on the guy.

My husband did not want a wife who agreed with everything he said and then went behind his back to get what she wanted. He did not want a wife who had no opinion of her own. He did not want a helpless wife who needed everything done for her. (I am not saying all Thai women are this way but this is often the way they project themselves or are perceived).

It's possible he feels this way because his mother is an opinionated woman (boy, is she ever!) who never felt the need to manipulate to get what she wanted (doesn't work with my father-in-law anyway) and who is perfectly capable of taking care of herself and works very hard (and the same goes for my father-in-law).

Are they an unusual couple? Probably, my father-in-law is a very unusual Thai man -very blunt, very honest very WYSIWYG--ask his opinion and he'll tell you!

[rainx]

... (I am not saying all Thai women are this way but this is often the way they project themselves or are perceived).

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This is often the way they are perceived by Westerners.

And what type of Thai women gravitates to Westerners who come to Pattaya, Phuket, Koh Samui? That kind of women represents Thai women as accurately as Pattaya, Phuket, and Koh Samui represents Thailand.

Yeah…accurately.

Edited December 7, 2005 by rainx

[rainx]

What do you gals with successful realationships think? Are those of us interested in trying to start a realationship with a Thai man at a disadvantage do to the fact that it's 2005 and there has been such an influx of the Holiday making western girls that just want to have a shag and blow off back to their countries?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If Western men come here to get laid, and Western women are doing the same, wouldn’t it be better for Western men and Western women to stick together back home? At least it would save the airfare costs, and who likes long distance relationship? Or do Western men/women who come to Thailand to look for Thai girls/boys prefer to have Thai partners because they find Thai people more physically attractive?

Sincerely curious.

[seville]

For sure there are women that come to LOS to party and get laid. That is not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about a realationship with a Thai Man.

Seeing as I'm moving to Thailand for good in about 5 years or so and have found that over the last 4 years my eye has been drawn to Thai men.

SBK makes a very good point about her in laws and her husband. My experience over the last four years is that the locals on KPN are nothing like the Thais that are down from Issan and other parts of the Kingdom. The women tend to be the ones in charge and the conversation will be short, but most of the Thai people I know from KPN, will tell you straight away what's on their mind.

I hear tourist complain that some people are rude there, but I think they get used to having their butts kissed in other parts of the Kingdom and then come down to KPN and don't get the same kind of butt kissing.

If Western men come here to get laid, and Western women are doing the same, wouldn’t it be better for Western men and Western women to stick together back home?  At least it would save the airfare costs, and who likes long distance relationship?  Or do Western men/women who come to Thailand to look for Thai girls/boys prefer to have Thai partners because they find Thai people more physically attractive?

Sincerely curious.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[seville]

And yes, I do find Thai Men more physically attractive. They tend to be in better shape then the western men that I see on the island. Most Western fellas my age tend to let themselves go to pot by the time they hit 30. I more then often look at the average Western guy and can't believe that he is as old as me or younger.

[solo siam]

And yes, I do find Thai Men more physically attractive. They tend to be in better shape then the western men that I see on the island. Most Western fellas my age tend to let themselves go to pot by the time they hit 30. I more then often look at the average Western guy and can't believe that he is as old as me or younger.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Strange you would say that because whenever I see farang couples out or western tourists, I cant help thinking how big and old the girls look. Most of the farang women who have kept their shape tend to be the middle-age ones, and they look great for it.

[seville]

Strange you would say that because whenever I see farang couples out or western tourists, I cant help thinking how big and old the girls look. Most of the farang women who have kept their shape tend to be the middle-age ones, and they look great for it.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I agree with you 100%!! I event manage private parties in the U.S. and when ever I do a a high school reunion or something that is age specific, I'm always blown away at how old everyone looks and that they are the same age as me. I'm 41 BTW. They also seem to be old in their whole attitudes.

I worked in the music industry for years and my friends that are my age tend to be from those circles, so I have always had a different life style then the average person my age.

It's sad, but I'm stronger and in better shape then a lot of girls I see that are 15 years younger then me.

Edited December 7, 2005 by seville

[rainx]

Dear Seville,

Sorry if there was a misunderstanding. From you post, I figured you weren’t talking about partying. You just brought up some good points about holiday makers, and I got curious and asked.

If you are a Westerner considering a realationship with a TH boy or TH girl, I don’t think you have much better or worse luck finding a mate in Thailand than in your country, but there are some things to keep in mind, which may not apply to your “playing field” back home.

I guess you are more or less right that the partying scene puts foreigners who are looking for a realationship with Thai partners at disadvantage. Some Thai women (non-bar-girls) choose not to get involved with Western men because they figure if nothing is wrong with the men, they would have no difficulty finding mates in their home countries and they would settle for a Thai girl only when they can’t do better. Of course, there are always exceptions, but it’s not easy to differentiate scammers from decent people. The bar girls/bar boys scams only worsen the relations between Thais and foreigners. There are plenty of decent TH and FR out there; they just rarely get together because of the current intercultural dynamics that has taken an ugly turn.

Some Thai people have what I call an inferiority complex about their country. They ask questions like, “If there’s nothing wrong with them (Westerners in Thailand), why do they choose to come here instead of staying in their countries where things are better?” (Higher wages, less corruption, better standard of living in general.)

The big income disparity is another issue. Trust is important in all relationships. What’s the chance that a good-looking TH boy or a good-looking TH girl will love you for who you are and not for what they can get out of you? Not very high, is it, especially if you are old and fat? (Not saying YOU are old or fat, of course.) I’m sure you know this, and a lot of Thai boys and girls know that Westerners know this, and many choose not to waste their time with Westerners, which leave more room for those who are willing to enter a money-making scam relationship with Westerners. Trust will be an issue, and it’s not fun to have a gf or a bf whom you cannot trust or who cannot trust you. If your partner needs constant reassurance and proof that you are not after the money, and you really are not, wouldn’t you feel offended? If you wouldn’t want to put up with that, most likely neither would a Thai person. Would you need reassurance and proof? Realistically, yes. Airfare is another factor. An average Thai earns 10,000 baht a month or less, and this is still a pretty conservative estimate, especially for Isaan. How sexy does it make you feel when your Thai bf says he can’t afford the airfare to come visit you? Sadly, he’s possibly telling the truth. An average Thai wage earner, male or female, cannot afford a satisfying intercontinental relationship.

Just to name a few.

But another thing to keep in mind is that despite the odds, some people do win the love lottery. Realationship with a Thai is not for everybody. If you cannot adapt and be understanding, I’d say forget about it. Try Japan. If you are single and have to move to TH because you have a job or if you just for some reason are in love with the Thai race, you should go for it, but be prepared for a series of disappointments before you find “the one”.

Oh, boy, Thai boys and girls should be proud of themselves for being so hot. Everybody wants a piece of them.

[seville]

I just PM RainX, but it did get me thinking. Most of the Southern Thais I meet have no desire to move away from Thailand. Most all of the Thais that I meet in the U.S. are from BKK or the North.

It's like compareing someone from NY and Texas. If your from the States you know what I'm talking about. If I had a friend wanting advice on her realationship with a new boyfriend, the advice I would give her would be different to some degree, depending on what part of the country he came from.

We are attracted to who we are attracted to. Emotions have no logic and a hel_l of a lot of people would be out of work if conversations like these weren't normal.