RY12 Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 I know it's an heated topic, but i'm kind of new to the scene and was wondering if there were generally accepted times when it's ok to cheat on a girlfriend, (not a wife), besides revenge. I guess i don't really mean 'ok' as much as 'morally tolerable.' With so many sexual diseases these days, I'm wondering if it's strictly never ok because you're essentially gambling with another person's health when you cheat and have sex with the old partner again. There does seem a valid line of thought that one should try other things to see if they really appreciate the original thing, sortof a necessary contradistinction. My guess is that cheating is ok if the parties are both young, especially high school, since young kids shouldn't get stuck with someone just because they were the first to come along. I might also apply it to people new to relationships, since without any perspective, the scope and depth of their admiration for another seems like it would be limited. FYI- I ask that no posters respond to the inevitable, pithy one-sentance troll posts that will occur, no matter how clever or offensive they are It is the responding to trolls that gives them life, not their posts themselves. Let's see if we can make at least one relationships thread in General Topics that is free of one-sentance quips. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carib Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 The crux of the matter is in the word `cheating`... which is a feeling that may, or may not be overcome. Ask this question a 1000 times and I think you will have a 1000 answers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuestHouse Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 I'm wondering if it's strictly never ok because you're essentially gambling with another person's health when you cheat and have sex with the old partner again. Well you've grasped the health issues, I guess you'll get the emotional issues when you reach a modicum of emotional maturity. --- Hears a clue to to the answer to your question...... 'Cheat'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glyph Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 "Ask this question a 1000 times and I think you will have a 1000 answers." It is a question that can be answered with a simple "yes" or "no". I'm not sure why you think there are another 998 answers to this question. Cheating is always wrong, it is as simple as that. You want us to provide you with an excuse sufficient to explain your infidelity, and you're not going to it get. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonrakers Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 There does seem a valid line of thought that one should try other things to see if they really appreciate the original thing, sortof a necessary contradistinction Not valid at all, just one in a long list of feeble excuses for cheating bastards who can't keep their d$cks in their trousers. If you wanna sleep around then that is up to you, but don't do it at the cost of somebody elses feelings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacup Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 Well if you keep questioning youself over this......then it's problably not morally ok to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carib Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 "Ask this question a 1000 times and I think you will have a 1000 answers."It is a question that can be answered with a simple "yes" or "no". I'm not sure why you think there are another 998 answers to this question. Cheating is always wrong, it is as simple as that. You want us to provide you with an excuse sufficient to explain your infidelity, and you're not going to it get. I agree with you, cheating is cheating. But that is just me, (and you) Others may have a different level of what cheating, or the acceptance there of is. It is like stealing, taking one baht is not really that bad.... but taking 50 is.... To me, both is stealing, to others .... We all have different levels, or are made to have different levels, or want to have different levels... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grantbkk Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 Man up! You're a human male with instinct, desires and needs. Go with your dic_k. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slapout Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 'Treat others as you would like them to treat you', comes to mind. If this short thought offends your FYI paragraph, maybe you could make a, check the response, type of survey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 Of course it's not wrong. She's a girlfriend. Once married, then the ballgame changes. (Maybe) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koo82 Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 RY12, I feel when a man wants to have a 2nd relation / sex when having a gf, he doesn't love his gf. If he does, he won't have any interest in any other girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ta22 Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 (edited) wahhahaah a, what a way to put it , would you feel good if your GF cheat on you ? while you think you are in a relationship .. she is banging someone out there maybe for money or maybe just cos he is younger , since you said that young is an great excuse to cheat .. - well i am sorry for you . cos your direction . my advice to all woman is aviod you like aids . you do not need a relationship all your needs is cheap sex . you are better off with a professional , then a anyone whom you choose to call a gf but would cheat on in a blink of an eyes . human alway like to find excuse for what there already know is not right . i am not saying having sex is bad , but a relationship is a totally diffrent level here , i guess you got alot to learn , not cheating in a relationship is a form of respect . if you are not ready to commit , don't get into one .. cos at the end of the days , the sex is not worth the headache you gonnna get . PAY CASH and forget . go for professional . anyway i'm Married to a wonderful thai girl . and there is a reason why thai girl hate guys who cheat on them . then again if you are ok if your GF is banging around , maybe i'm in the wrong shoe to give you any advice . Edited November 10, 2008 by Ta22 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goyave Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 RY12,I feel when a man wants to have a 2nd relation / sex when having a gf, he doesn't love his gf. If he does, he won't have any interest in any other girl. Untrue. Love and libido are two different things. You can love someone and be sexually attracted by many other persons. Well, at least, it's the case for many men. Respect is not love either... Cheating is OK for instance if you are President of the US of A while listening to "Have a cigar" (by Pink Floyd). More seriously, morally, cheating is not acceptable, period. But it can be understandable, which is quite different. Anyway, it is detestable if it endangers the health of other parties and hurts their feelings, therefore, no uncovered sex and being discreet are mandatory if you can't help cheating... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeSR Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 op, let me ask you when do you think its ok for your gf to cheat on you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eek Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 If there is a mutual agreement that you can have sex outside of your relationship, then thats between you and your partner (even though it often doesnt work in reality). If you want to do something behind a partners back, then thats deceitful. Some people want to basically have their cake and eat it. Being selfish may make you happy, but probably not in the long term. If you want to play around, better to be single, and honest. Were you really just looking for validation that its ok? Actually its refreshing to read from so many men that they think it is wrong. Thailand often has a reputation of men playing around. Of course, there will probably be a flood of men who dont want a guilt trip if they regularly cheat on their partners who will say "they are all lying". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joskydive Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 If someone wants to be in a relationship, why would they want to cheat? To me, that would just mean that they don't really want/care/respect the person they are with. Or maybe there is something lacking in that relationship (not necessarily sex), where they feel they have go elsewhere to find the fulfillment that they need instead of communicating that need the their chosen partner. This could be for various reasons i.e. - one partner may have voiced his/her wishes and been ignored. one partner may not have voiced his/her wishes through not wanting to rock the boat or damage the lifestyle they have at the moment. one partner may just have the wandering eye syndrome and no matter how good the relationship is he/she just can't resist and has to try and conquer the next conquest that comes along. As far as I'm concerned, I have no wish to dictate or control my relationship with my partner and just say, 'You can go with a Lady if you want, you just can't come back'. At least this way, he has free rein if he wants it and also knows at the same time what the results would be if he goes and I don't have to worry about getting Aides or putting up with some other female appearing from nowhere and attacking me and/or yelling down the phone telling me to f*** off because he belongs to her now. For me, this is a load of rubbish! If you can't be honest and happy in a relationship, why be in one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5tash Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 I know it's an heated topic, but i'm kind of new to the scene and was wondering if there were generally accepted times when it's ok to cheat on a girlfriend, (not a wife), besides revenge. I guess i don't really mean 'ok' as much as 'morally tolerable.' With so many sexual diseases these days, I'm wondering if it's strictly never ok because you're essentially gambling with another person's health when you cheat and have sex with the old partner again. There does seem a valid line of thought that one should try other things to see if they really appreciate the original thing, sortof a necessary contradistinction. My guess is that cheating is ok if the parties are both young, especially high school, since young kids shouldn't get stuck with someone just because they were the first to come along. I might also apply it to people new to relationships, since without any perspective, the scope and depth of their admiration for another seems like it would be limited. FYI- I ask that no posters respond to the inevitable, pithy one-sentance troll posts that will occur, no matter how clever or offensive they are It is the responding to trolls that gives them life, not their posts themselves. Let's see if we can make at least one relationships thread in General Topics that is free of one-sentance quips. It depends on the culture. In some cultures it is quite acceptable for a man to have multiple wives or lovers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eek Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 multiple wives is different (unless the wives dont know about each other). The key word, as most have pointed out, is 'cheating'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plus Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 ...that would just mean that they don't really want/care/respect the person they are with........If you can't be honest and happy in a relationship, why be in one? Not everyone is destined to be with Ms or Mr Right. People make compromises all the time. Being less than totally honest and not perfectly happy is not unusual in relationships when you are not in your ealry twenties anymore. Lots of people would chose ANY relationship over being eternally single. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimsKnight Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 I know it's an heated topic, but i'm kind of new to the scene and was wondering if there were generally accepted times when it's ok to cheat on a girlfriend, (not a wife), besides revenge. I guess i don't really mean 'ok' as much as 'morally tolerable.' With so many sexual diseases these days, I'm wondering if it's strictly never ok because you're essentially gambling with another person's health when you cheat and have sex with the old partner again. There does seem a valid line of thought that one should try other things to see if they really appreciate the original thing, sortof a necessary contradistinction. My guess is that cheating is ok if the parties are both young, especially high school, since young kids shouldn't get stuck with someone just because they were the first to come along. I might also apply it to people new to relationships, since without any perspective, the scope and depth of their admiration for another seems like it would be limited. FYI- I ask that no posters respond to the inevitable, pithy one-sentance troll posts that will occur, no matter how clever or offensive they are It is the responding to trolls that gives them life, not their posts themselves. Let's see if we can make at least one relationships thread in General Topics that is free of one-sentance quips. If you're gf of wife is an absolute bitch and you're not happy and meet the 'right' one for you in a long term kinda vibe/belief then it is. No-one said it's right to be stuck in a negative atmosphere and be unhappy. Obviously if your just shagging your way through a succession of shallow women then you're off track. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goyave Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 If someone wants to be in a relationship, why would they want to cheat? To me, that would just mean that they don't really want/care/respect the person they are with. Or maybe there is something lacking in that relationship (not necessarily sex), where they feel they have go elsewhere to find the fulfillment that they need instead of communicating that need the their chosen partner. This could be for various reasons i.e. - one partner may have voiced his/her wishes and been ignored. one partner may not have voiced his/her wishes through not wanting to rock the boat or damage the lifestyle they have at the moment. one partner may just have the wandering eye syndrome and no matter how good the relationship is he/she just can't resist and has to try and conquer the next conquest that comes along. ... Or simply because one is bored (often sexually) and needs novelty to add spice to his/her (sex) life. It does not mean that the other one is not caring or "good enough", but you can't eat caviar (for instance) every day and sometimes, you just want to vary your diet. It's true for both partners IMHO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinnieTheKhwai Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 Obviously if your just shagging your way through a succession of shallow women then you're off track. Says who? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RY12 Posted November 10, 2008 Author Share Posted November 10, 2008 So if I were to ever want to move on to a new girlfriend, you all think it's morally better to sit her down, tell her "I've met someone else (and want to have sex with them)", and then say it's over (and then move on to having sex with the new person, and it's not 'cheating' anymore)? Breaking up with someone seems really cruel too, but I've never done it before. Alternatively, wouldn't it lessen her pain if she found out I was cheating and broke up with me out of anger???? Quietly sitting her down and telling her i want to move on seems like it would be really hard on her- she'd blame herself... but if I cheated, then she could blame me.... (is this rational?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goyave Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 So if I were to ever want to move on to a new girlfriend, you all think it's morally better to sit her down, tell her "I've met someone else (and want to have sex with them)", and then say it's over (and then move on to having sex with the new person, and it's not 'cheating' anymore)? Breaking up with someone seems really cruel too, but I've never done it before. Alternatively, wouldn't it lessen her pain if she found out I was cheating and broke up with me out of anger???? Quietly sitting her down and telling her i want to move on seems like it would be really hard on her- she'd blame herself... but if I cheated, then she could blame me.... (is this rational?) Read my previous posts (again?). If you have to cheat, use condoms, be discreet and don't tell anything to your significant other. It's still dishonest, but it's the way to go if you don't want to hurt your partner's feelings (if you don't want to end your current relationship but can't help f*cking around). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myauq Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 and what does any of this have to do with thailand? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiang mai Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 I'm wondering if it's strictly never ok because you're essentially gambling with another person's health when you cheat and have sex with the old partner again. Well you've grasped the health issues, I guess you'll get the emotional issues when you reach a modicum of emotional maturity. --- Hears a clue to to the answer to your question...... 'Cheat'. Interesting reply Guesthouse, much learned from that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 not thailand related Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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