When you start thinking Thai Buddhism is a joke.

When you start thinking Thai Buddhism is a joke.

when you start thinking Thais take Thai Buddhism seriously.

Motorcycles

-When you ride your motorcycle on the wrong side of the road against heavy traffic during rush hour because your turn is only 3 blocks back.

- You ride your motorcycle on the sidewalk because there are too many cars on the road.

- When the police try to stop you at a check point and you run because you don't want to pay a 200 baht fine/bribe.

People

- When a Thai person speaks to you in English and for some reason you are only able to respond in Thai.

- When your child is kidnapped and returned unharmed on a daily basis.

- You are no longer startled by men trying to massage your shoulders while you urinate.

Hygiene

- You prefer cold showers to hot ones.

- You wash your hands with ice cubes.

- When you are hot you wipe your face with toilet paper.

<font color='#000080'>You know you've been in Thailand too long when:

...You stand on the toilet seat of western loos.

...You put your coat on as soon as the temperature hits the low 80's.

...You suddenly find you like the smell of durian.

...You dilute your whisky with so much water it becomes clear.

...You put ice in your larger (beer).

...You find you have an irrational fear of going to the fridge at night in your 4th floor condo incase you slip 30 feet through the French doors and over the balcony.

etc...</font>

Ohhhh, that's sad

Yesterday I drove in the shady lane.

... you reach into the refrigerator for the familiar yellow label of your favorite Lipton Iced Tea, anticipating its refreshing sweetness, and end up taking a massive pull off the bottle of fish sauce!

When you have deserted your multi million house and garden in Isaan to stay (with your wife - who is now is a stranger, and your two children - who think barefooted is the only way to walk) in a rented room in a town where you can buy hamburgers.

..when your "The 1-CARD" balance is at 100k points

Don't forget also:

When you can proficiently translate to your mates what your wife is saying in English coz they don't have a clue what she's on about... only you do!

Whatmyname?

when you spend far too long reading the rubbish on this forum

when you ask the 7/11 cashier for that small silver sticker to stick it to the others for a freebie

when you climb up a tree only in shorts to smoke a hornets nest

when you win the 2009 preek kee nu competition in Korat

When you don't bat an eyelid, as the conductor on the bus you're travelling on, keeps jumping off the bus, every time it stops, to place a large rock under the wheel, to stop it rolling back.

Didn't bother me at all, I just kept watching the road, through the hole in the floor!

...When you spend the best part of the day on Thaivisa Forum

...When you spend the best part of the day on Thaivisa Forum

...When you spend ALL day on Thaivisa Forum

You know you've been in Thailand too long when: - You wish you had come here 30 years ago.

Too long when ..... You start thinking it might be time to leave.

...When you start talking about politics

you've been in thailand too long when:

1) you are no longer afraid when surrounded by a pack of soi dogs

2) you think something is wrong when you reverse your car and do not hear continuous whistling by the car park attendant on his mouth whistle (or does this happen in Pattaya car parks only?)

3) you feel someone ought to collect all these responses and collate into a bestseller!

when your wear a yellow shirt and camp at the airport

Indeed ! I talk to some Farang at the yellow gatherring. Aussie family, French teacher, ex-Brit marine from Chiang Rai etc. However, they didn't think they stay too long!!

You guys can be more Thai than me though Ha Ha I add:

1. When you pack big shot name cards.

2. When you are happy to have extra holiday after seeing tanks on the road.

3. When you like Heinecken more than Singha.

4. When you are not in the fashion of speaking Thai. I have a Scot in law who has lived here for almost 25 years. He speak English to the Thai who can talk to him.

When you start thinking Thai Buddhism is a joke.

when you start thinking Thais take Thai Buddhism seriously.

When you ask about the value of Buddhist Talisman or Jatu-kham on your friend' neck.

And of coure when you wear one or three or five...

(You know that you must wear unbalanced number of talisman least their powers form two sides and fight.)

Souvenir Bar Mats in Phuket

You think about 20 of those pink tissues in noodle shops put together is actually useful

When..if you are walking along the beach..and you see..

..it wouldnt surprise you.

You know you've been in Thailand too long when....you greet other foreigners in pidgeon-Thai.

Don't you just want to smack people silly when they greet you, not with Hello, but 'Sa-wat-dee-khrap'?

Don't speak Thai! - you want to scream at them, I'm not Thai!

When you buy a small 6 Baht bottle of water from 7-11 and get given a plastic bag, 2 straws, a receipt and four silver stickers.

This has been fantastic to read.

All of the replies right from the start are true.

What about cracked heel skin, not bothered to see three adults two kids and a dog on a motorcycle.

Start using the mirrors on a m'bike to get something from your eye and not bothered what is in front, behind, sideways etc.

You know you've been in Thailand too long when ... Thailand Elite cancels your renewable 5 year visa.

You know you've been in Thailand too long when ... all pages of your passport are full with stamps.

When you start answering questions by your parents with Khap or Dai khap.

Or you waiing people goes automatically, including other westeners.

When you insist on calling True Vision "UBC".