Thai ex-boyfriend

[Aranya]

Nat, I'm so sorry to hear you are going through such a hard time I've been wondering where you'd gone (no reply to my emails) and I had not dropped by the forum in a few months. Lots of good advice given by other posters. Please let us know you're OK. Hugs.

[Nat]

Hey everyone, this original post is from last year & I know that Nat has definately moved on since then & has nothing to do with this guy anymore, but it's good to know that there are people out there who care enough to post.

Thanks Boo and everyone who was kind enough to post. As Boo mentioned this is from a long time ago and is now gone and buried – have definitely moved on and am very happy

[eljeque]

In case you seee one of his friend's spying on you again, tell the police the man's name and they will locate him. After his friend and friends learn that they themselves will have problems if they follow you, then they will no longer abide with his requests and he will have to do it on his own, or forget about it. I wish you the best of luck.

[Flipper]

Hi to you all.

I know this is an old site, however as I am going through a split with my Thai partner of 4+ years, I would just like to let you all know that I have found this site very useful.

My partner is not usually a violent type, though when angry can be (can't we all). A large part of the problem that we have is how we view a relationship and the level of equality within a relationship. This is without a doubt due to very different backgrounds (me - English, well travelled, a slightly higher education than him. Him - Thai, older (by about 15 years) and well set in his lifestyle with far too many friends and aquaintances for me to remember even half of them!!). So he wanted me to know all his friends, do what he wanted to do and not show conflict with him (especially not in front of other people!). HOwever, I wanted things from him too - like some private time (just the two of us!), him to know my friends, doing things I like too and having the freedom to express myself, even if I do not agree with him or his mates!. Personal emotions, I agree are ideally dealt with in private, but if we only ever see each other in front of other people (and this was often the case) then those feelings will come out in public!

So we have taken time apart, and I have been suprised how supportive mutual Thai friends have been to me. Now, he has made the first move to get back in touch and I am hopign that we can be friends. However, I do not see myself living for much longer in this area or even in Thailand.

So, yes, there are no-doubt many Farang women-Thai male relationsihps that work out there and good luck to you all. I have learnt a lot from mine and the good times were exceptionally good, which is why I stuck at it even though there have been bad times right from the start.

Nat, I hope you have found a good life somewhere else, with someone else and are happy.

Cheers

Flipper

[Brice]

Now I may be wrong for saying this - but - I do feel that these ladies who have attached themselves the local element - have some loose screws in their head.

Again, I am going to take some heat here - but I had to say that - why get involved with the Thais?

The guys are just idiots - the ones who pick the hookers and all - but I feel that the farang ladies get played the worst - let me know - mates.....

[sbk]

Now I may be wrong for saying this - but - I do feel that these ladies who have attached themselves the local element - have some loose screws in their head. 

Again, I am going to take some heat here - but I had to say that - why get involved with the Thais? 

The guys are just idiots - the ones who pick the hookers and all - but I feel that the farang ladies get played the worst - let me know - mates.....

I won't give you too much hassle for it as my advice to most girls that first come to Thailand is to not get a Thai boyfriend. This isn't because all Thai men are bad but the ones that get farang girlfriends are usually guys working at bars in touristy areas and are just out for two things (free sex and money, generally in that order). The nice guys are usually far too shy to approach a farang girl and usually don't have the best english nor the smoothest delivery.

I got very lucky and I know it, my Thai husband of 15 years is a lovely, decent, honest man who has been more than willing to compromise to have a good relationship with me. But then, he doesn't drink (well a couple of beers now and then), doesn't smoke, doesn't gamble and doesn't play around. He has cousins and some friends who are similar but they are rare birds indeed.

That said, you mustn't tar all Thai men with the same brush (violent idiots that play around), same as with Thai women (ie all bargirls), farang men (ie all fat, arrogant sex tourists), or farang women (all domineering cows). People who make broad generalizations too much oftentimes find out how wrong they really are.

[Wolfie]

awwwe... i thought you were gunna give him a right flameing then...

[Brice]

Now I may be wrong for saying this - but - I do feel that these ladies who have attached themselves the local element - have some loose screws in their head. 

Again, I am going to take some heat here - but I had to say that - why get involved with the Thais? 

The guys are just idiots - the ones who pick the hookers and all - but I feel that the farang ladies get played the worst - let me know - mates.....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I won't give you too much hassle for it as my advice to most girls that first come to Thailand is to not get a Thai boyfriend. This isn't because all Thai men are bad but the ones that get farang girlfriends are usually guys working at bars in touristy areas and are just out for two things (free sex and money, generally in that order). The nice guys are usually far too shy to approach a farang girl and usually don't have the best english nor the smoothest delivery.

I got very lucky and I know it, my Thai husband of 15 years is a lovely, decent, honest man who has been more than willing to compromise to have a good relationship with me. But then, he doesn't drink (well a couple of beers now and then), doesn't smoke, doesn't gamble and doesn't play around. He has cousins and some friends who are similar but they are rare birds indeed.

That said, you mustn't tar all Thai men with the same brush (violent idiots that play around), same as with Thai women (ie all bargirls), farang men (ie all fat, arrogant sex tourists), or farang women (all domineering cows). People who make broad generalizations too much oftentimes find out how wrong they really are.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Very nicey put - I am glad you were able to see that objectively...

Thanks!

[sbk]

awwwe... i thought you were gunna give him a right flameing then...

Sorry wolfie. Would you like me to try again?

[dr_Pat_Pong]

awwwe... i thought you were gunna give him a right flameing then...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sorry wolfie. Would you like me to try again?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I would sbk. Go for the throat of the racist bugger

[Sigur ros]

Some Thai men, not all, such as beach boys or slight educated Thai men think having farang girlfriends make themselves cool. They feel that they can find something to recompense for their status in society. Any comment???

[a man with a plan]

Hey, I've often wondered how the western women find thai men as boy friends but I don't really know a big enough network of farang girls to ask them.

What is a thai boyfriend like in comparison to a western guy?

The possesive thing isn't exclusive to the guys, the girls are way more possesive than farang girls no doubt about it.

[sbk]

I doubt my husband saw me as a "status symbol" when he met me. IN fact, most locals wondered why he married a farang when he comes from quite a well-to-do family. When we met it wasn't the "in" thing to have a farang girlfriend, and now, among the beach boys, it is so common it is hardly a status thing. So, I disagree with you boys on that one, I think Thai men have a far higher status in their society than farang men with Thai wives so why would they feel the need to recompense for their status?

Personally I think most Thai men who have farang girlfriends (and are serious about it) do so because they like the differences from Thai women. My husband appreciates the fact that I am independent and do not rely on him for everthing (Toukay in the bathroom? big deal. Our female Thai staff run out screaming, even though they have lived around these things their whole lives), he appreciates the fact that I do not nag, do not complain (his mother is a nagging complainer so I guess that is where that comes from). He likes my willingness to express my own thought-out opinions and appreciates the fact that when I disagree I state it clearly without the need for any manipulation or subterfuge. He likes the fact that his wife is educated and knowledgable.

Now, I am not saying you won't find Thai women with these qualities, certainly I am sure they exist. BUT, I live in a very rural area, where the education level is quite low, and my husband was not interested in a girl who could not communicate with him on his level.

So, lucky for him, he got me

Wolfie, I don't think he is being racist so much as sexist. See, he has decided that all thai men are pigs when that can hardly be true. He is probably just one of those people who likes to make broad generalizations based on limited experiences.

[Wolfie]

I didnt say he was either racist or sexist.

[sbk]

I didnt say he was either racist or sexist.

Sorry wolfie, that was Dr PP who called him a racist bugger, not you

Personally, like I said, I don't think someone who makes broad generalizations about people makes them a racist, just inexperienced.

[Sigur ros]

I doubt my husband saw me as a "status symbol" when he met me. IN fact, most locals wondered why he married a farang when he comes from quite a well-to-do family. When we met it wasn't the "in" thing to have a farang girlfriend, and now, among the beach boys, it is so common it is hardly a status thing. So, I  disagree with you boys on that one, I think Thai men have a far higher status in their society than farang men with Thai wives so why would they feel the need to recompense for their status?

Personally I think most Thai men who have farang girlfriends (and are serious about it) do so because they like the differences from Thai women. My husband appreciates the fact that I am independent and do not rely on him for everthing (Toukay in the bathroom? big deal. Our female Thai staff run out screaming, even though they have lived around these things their whole lives), he appreciates the fact that I do not nag, do not complain (his mother is a nagging complainer so I guess that is where that comes from). He likes my willingness to express my own thought-out opinions and appreciates the fact that when I disagree I state it clearly without the need for any manipulation or subterfuge. He likes the fact that his wife is educated and knowledgable.

Now, I am not saying you won't find Thai women with these qualities, certainly I am sure they exist. BUT, I live in a very rural area, where the education level is quite low, and my husband was not interested in a girl who could not communicate with him on his level. 

So, lucky for him, he got me 

Wolfie, I don't think he is being racist so much as sexist. See, he has decided that all thai men are pigs when that can hardly be true. He is probably just one of those people who likes to make broad generalizations based on limited experiences.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Your case is an exception if you dont make a hype. It’s great for your hubby when he has you-his wife always say something good about him. Anyway, in my limited experience; almost of nice Thai men like all girls but when they think again they prefer the nice Thai girls esp. the Thai-Chinese girls with white skin and high education. However, I found that some like farang girls but only the minority not as many as beach boys or gigolos do. I think time will prove if this is true love or it’s just an illusion between Thai men and farang girls. As the love stories here-Thai men and farang girls seems to be disaster!

[Boo]

I'm sure after 15 years of marriage sbk & her husband arean't under any illusion & I can assure you that after just over a year of marriage & being together for 3+ years, there is no illusion with me & my husband either. He prefers western women (this one) he's had thai girlfriends before & found them too hard work, nagging & childish (his words before you flame me) I on the other hand am laidback, independant & capable to doing things for myself. If he had met a different type of farang girl he probably wouldn't have maried her & if he had met a thai girl like me he may have married her instead. Get what I'm saying, just as farang men like thai women for there differences to farang, so I like my husband for his differences to farang men & he likes me for my differences to thai women. All about personal preferance. No illusion, just a young couple getting on with life together.

[meadish_sweetball]

Some Thai men, not all, such as beach boys or slight educated Thai men think having farang girlfriends make themselves cool. They feel that they can find something to recompense for their status in society. Any comment???

Yes, one comment: SO? Plenty of farang men come to live in Thailand simply because they had a shit status in their home countries for one reason or another.

People will try to improve their status wherever they are. Natural behaviour.

[Sigur ros]

Yes, one comment: SO? Plenty of farang men come to live in Thailand simply because they had a shit status in their home countries for one reason or another.

People will try to improve their status wherever they are. Natural behaviour.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Are you one of them too?