Something My Bf Mentioned

[Sabum]

Well, I think he deserves whatever type of slap upside his head you want to give for being such a tard, whether verbal or otherwise. Hey, I will admit I am a bit jaded and find a few faults with western women but LYING AND SNEAKING isn't part of that package. Coming from a Thai guy I find that pretty freaking brazen, I'm sorry but THAI women have the monopoly on lying and sneaking.... can't believe a Thai guy doesnt see that?!?! Man, I'm flabbergasted, I'd trust the word of a western women light years before a Thai woman, a day doesnt go by a Thai woman doesnt say something not true to me (no matter how small and insignificant), whether to save face, make more money, avoid being caught making mistakes, just for the hel_l of it..... seems culturally acceptable and expected. I just don't get how he could say that.

[mssabai]

I think porn movies have a lot to answer for. There isn't a massive Thai porn industry (by all accounts) and most of the porn seems to come from Japan or the west...ergo all Japanese girls and Western girls are obviously porn stars. Though your man speaks good english, sounds like he hasn't hung around with westerners much otherwise he would have seen that that is a pretty silly statement to make.

Or he may have been on Had Rin around full moon - that is going to give you a pretty dim view of western girls!!!

[kat]

Fairly interesting comment, considering Thai society and cultural norms, which include both Thai men and women. I mean, does this guy read the newspapers?

Which brings us back to mssabai's comment above, and consideration of his general media sources and input for his worldview in general. If you really want to open up a can of worms - but also get a closer look at how he views Western women - ask him his opinion of "free sex". But, that one is not for the faint of heart, and it may be better to just play complacent and clueless. At least you have a nice boyfriend to point to while in Thailand.

[neverdie]

a definately cross cultural phenomona as i work with several arab guys, a mexican guy, and several women ... they consistently cant find anything smaller then a garbage can at work. a five kilo cheese cant be found even if the fridge is empty. five boxes of tomatoes mysteriously disappears behind!! the one box of kolrabi. but they always always find the one last beer in the cola fridge, behind five rows of fruit drinks and water bottles. anon wil always buy more onions cause the onion basket filled with all the sprouting onions that were previously mysteriously hidden was behind a small bottle of rasberry flavoured syrup and he couldnt see it.

how is that?

bina

Truely my theory above applies. The reason you guys 'ladies' put up with us men and our downfall is because we can carry heavy things & are often required for other man duties that MOST women can't live without.....of course some women prefer to take on these tasks for themself, but thats not for everyone is it.

[kat]

Nah, we like you guys because your cute, hot or sexy, and you make us feel good. The stereo and computer hook-up duty is a nice bonus.

[sbk]

are often required for other man duties that MOST women can't live without.....of course some women prefer to take on these tasks for themself, but thats not for everyone is it.

Kat, I believe the man duties he is referring to are of the hot and sexy variety.

Or perhaps not, but I do prefer to read it that way rather than about stereo hookups. I can always manage that kind of stuff myself

[kat]

are often required for other man duties that MOST women can't live without.....of course some women prefer to take on these tasks for themself, but thats not for everyone is it.

Kat, I believe the man duties he is referring to are of the hot and sexy variety.

Or perhaps not, but I do prefer to read it that way rather than about stereo hookups. I can always manage that kind of stuff myself

Yeah, I was just having a bit of fun on the "duties" of men. As far as the stereo and gadetry hook-ups, well, kudos to you for doing it yourself. That is definitely forward and progressive. I don't mind being politically incorrect on this one to say that I much prefer for someone else to do it, lol.

[spectrum]

think porn movies have a lot to answer for. There isn't a massive Thai porn industry (by all accounts) and most of the porn seems to come from Japan or the west...ergo all Japanese girls and Western girls are obviously porn stars. Though your man speaks good english, sounds like he hasn't hung around with westerners much otherwise he would have seen that that is a pretty silly statement to make.

Agreed. Also agree that some behaviour of (foreign) women on holiday may support that impression.

Also agree with girlx's comments. She has made it clear that these are generalizations based on her own, quite lengthy experince in the region. They echo my own. There are numerous objective studies on cultural values which would support her views. Sometimes I find that the defensive "anti-generalization of any kind" posts here can work to disallow genuine comment.

Kat, as usual, has made incisive comments.

To some extent, I have to say that the OP may indeed have a somewhat naive understanding of the ways of the Asian male mind. In many cases, it is almost *ipso facto* that you should expect the Asian male's culture to lead, and yours to follow.

Why did this Thai man qualify his comment thus? My first thought was, in fact, not so much about culturally ingrained ideas about non-Thai women but about the possibilty of past experience/s with non-Asian women.

Wish you luck, OP, but it's very much another world you may be joining. If I were you, I'd remove myself from the situation for a while in order to re-assess.

[Patsycat]

Changing lightbulbs, cleaning windows, taking rubbish out, sorting out my computer,

scrubbing my back...

[sbk]

Only man duties I insist on Patsy, are dealing with snakes, mice and dead stuff.

Progressive, perhaps but I prefer the label "able to take care of myself"

[redfish44]

Hi eek,

To address your original post: I wouldn't be offended.

I have been pissed of with 95% of the western media/tv/movie even literary portrayal of women for years, even when I still lived in the "western world", now more so since I have distance from it.

So many reasons to be pissed off - but also often women are portrayed as controlling their men, manipulating them, scheming to get them to do things they have no interest in (why?) etc... and these things are often depicted as witty and funny (which I don't find them).

Then I noticed so many actual examples of it in real life it annoyed me even further, particularly amongst the bitchy office worker set, and when in forced company of others that I wouldn't normally choose to hang out with - such as at weddings etc... you know the type starts off with stuff like "well I said he can't go to his football team first grand final in 120 years because I said we had to have afternoon tea with my great aunt/choose new curtain hooks/take me shopping....", the guy stops being allowed to see his friends, play sport, have a life of his own, do anything without her authority etc and then it snowballs... (not surprisingly the wedding bandwagon came to an end for their lot and the divorce bandwagon is rolling along now - karma?)

Perhaps your man has had run-ins with real evil bitches like I have had the unfortunate luck to encounter.

Be happy your man appreciates you for who you are - a genuinely nice person it seems.

[redfish44]

The reason you guys 'ladies' put up with us men and our downfall is because we can carry heavy things...

- can't lie is true...

Dear neverdie,

Why does my boyfriend say "I will play 1 game of PlayStation and then we'll have dinner", and then play for 6 hours and all the restaurants are closed?

Why does he insist on repeating all the annoying things the PlayStation game says to me as if I am interested? (though sometimes the accent and mispronunciations are cute)

Why does he keep asking me for tips in PlayStation games when I have been telling him for over a year "I have no idea and don't care as don't like PlayStation"?

Please give me some insight as I have evil thoughts about how to eliminate the PlayStation which would make him sad, and I know he likes it.

redfish44

[kat]

Hi eek,

I have been pissed of with 95% of the western media/tv/movie even literary portrayal of women for years, even when I still lived in the "western world", now more so since I have distance from it.

Perhaps your man has had run-ins with real evil bitches like I have had the unfortunate luck to encounter.

Wow, 95% seems like a very high number evil bitches. Do you have any concrete media examples so we can all get an idea this ever present evil?

[bina]

are dealing with snakes, mice and dead stuff

really?!!! most thai men i know run like hel_l when they see a snake and its lil' ol' me that is the snake dealer wither person... also puppy poo picker upper, and dead things on the porch dispenser offer... man's job is to change lite bulbs, and fix things that i dont know how to do. i do computer stuff or call my ex brother in law; i do all dog stuff except for icky eye stuff: thats anon's thing.

and in jewish families it is the man's duty to take out the garbage, or so says my mother, and my sister, and all my kibbutz women friends.

men also make good bed warmers for when u are conserving money and not putting on the heater in night time.-- the man gets in bed first, warms up the bed, then u can climb in , with or with out dogs...

bina

israel

[kat]

are dealing with snakes, mice and dead stuff

men also make good bed warmers for when u are conserving money and not putting on the heater in night time.-- the man gets in bed first, warms up the bed, then u can climb in ,

bina

israel

Really? I find that they gripe about the cold bed as well. I have gotten an electric pad heater that goes under the sheet and blanket here in Korea, and it is beautiful. I think guys have a lot of competition now, lol.

[redfish44]

Hi eek,

I have been pissed of with 95% of the western media/tv/movie even literary portrayal of women for years, even when I still lived in the "western world", now more so since I have distance from it.

***

Perhaps your man has had run-ins with real evil bitches like I have had the unfortunate luck to encounter.

Wow, 95% seems like a very high number evil bitches. Do you have any concrete media examples so we can all get an idea this ever present evil?

is this my first flame reply? (still not really sure what that is - have interpreted a flame as someone that likes to argue without reading facts/posts/considering alternate opinions)

if not, kat, I aplogise for interpreting that as a flame and shall point out that - in the reply you quoted I inserted *** above where you missed the crucial next line:

"So many reasons to be pissed off - but also...."

This text does not mean that 95% of the reasons I dislike media portrayals are due to evil bitches, it means I am adding this in addition to material listed already in the thread, as a lot of the things that annoy me have been covered already - bimbo porn portrayals etc. I am adding another thing that annoys me personally - manipulating scheming types (seemed self evident after I read the whole thread).

I then state that these types do exist in some form (so not just a media portrayal) - in rare occaisons I met some, and maybe eeks man met some too.

It could also imply there are may be reasons that may not have been listed yet in this thread.

[redfish44]

are dealing with snakes, mice and dead stuff

really?!!! most thai men i know run like hel_l when they see a snake and its lil' ol' me that is the snake dealer wither person...

Go bina! good on you.

You should put snake dealer wither person on your CV.

I was the spider dealer wither person in a previous relationship (he was from New Zealand - they don't really have them).

[eek]

Its been really interesting reading different opinions, particularly the banter from serious to fun and back again!

Im honestly not sure where his statement may have really come from, but im not going to nit-pick or mull it over. Im sure he will realise himself that if he has heard bad things against western women, they should be taken with a pinch of salt. Or, if he has had some bad personal interactions in some way, then he shouldnt let that cloud his judgement of all western women. If it really is viewpoint developed from the movies, tv, etc, then he really has been a ninny! But, Im sure he will come to see that is silly thinking.

Im not going to ram things down his throat, or jump on his case over something so simple. He has never done that to me when i have made (numerous) faux pas.

spectrum, I dont really feel the need to remove myself and reassess regarding that comment. Ive been with him for a year now (well next month a year), and he has never said anything along those lines till the other day. My posting what he said on TV forum was just to get others perspectives of how the general Thai male may view western women. Mainly because i was quite surprised at his comment. Thanks for commenting though. Always appreciate a broad spectrum of comments and opinions here.

redfish, i know what you mean about getting a bit ticked off at times regarding the way women are sometimes portrayed in movies. Just as i find the old movie stepford wife stereotype cringeworthy and demeaning to women, i find the ballbreaker manipulating stereotyped woman cringeworthy and demeaning too. I dont appreciate women characters demoralising men at every given opportunity, especially if done in the name of "comedy". I realise movies like to push things and go ott, but im tired of the 'men bemoan their lives at a get-together bbq because their gfs/wives have restricted every aspect of their personal lives and pleasures. Wives get together at the other side of the bbq and basically talk about how pathetic their men are'-type scenarios. Move on to something new please!

As for electric blankets, really do wish they were available here in Thailand (maybe they are, but i havent seen them, and i suspect if they are they would be at a high price). I froze my butt off over the winter period in Chiang Mai!

[mssabai]

I find that my friends can still have a certain view of western women which they have got from the media I think, however will automatically cut me and like minded friends out of these generalisations. For instance there was a girl staying at a guest house where I used to live who took to strolling round the restaurant in her bikini...it used to p*ss me off. Not because I am particularly sensitive, but because I didn't appreciate someone's ass in my face when I am eating (she also liked to bend over in her bikini quite a lot). Thanks. So I was chatting to one of the guys there who I am friends with and saying how much it annoyed me and he was laughing and was like "yeah but she's just a farang" so I said well what would you do if I did it, cos I am a farang, and he was like "no, that's different" and looked at me like I had just suggested his mother do it. Basically it seems as if trailer trash is trailer trash wherever you are in the world...and the bad examples are always the ones that get heard about (take British tourists in Spain for instance). In England they are called chavs, in thailand they are called westerners...but when you show that you are not that kind of person, people immediately expect more of you and would never group you in the same category.

[eek]

Maybe a lot of Thai men growing up have seen farang girls on "holiday mode" who dont really have understanding of the culture so dress in ways Thai wouldnt consider appropriate. Even if they are not "bad" girls, their dress and mannerisms reflected a "looser" moral than a "good girl" should have.

I recall once seeing a couple of very pretty girls in Bangkok, tanned, and looked like they had just come from the beach. The were walking around the outer wall of one of the popular Wats (not sure if they were going to go in or not). All eyes were on them, some goggle-eyed, some lust-filled, some looking in disgust. Basically they had very short skirts on, bikini tops, and a loose scarf wound around their necks. I remember the image well because it just seemed so out of place.

I think western females can sometimes present a bad picture in the eyes of other cultures, even if they are truly lovely people. Im not saying its right or wrong (although i think the girls above should have known better), its just we should be aware that how we conduct ourselves in other countries often reflect on our culture/nationality as a whole. Sadly.

[neverdie]

The reason you guys 'ladies' put up with us men and our downfall is because we can carry heavy things...

- can't lie is true...

Dear neverdie,

Why does my boyfriend say "I will play 1 game of PlayStation and then we'll have dinner", and then play for 6 hours and all the restaurants are closed?

Why does he insist on repeating all the annoying things the PlayStation game says to me as if I am interested? (though sometimes the accent and mispronunciations are cute)

Why does he keep asking me for tips in PlayStation games when I have been telling him for over a year "I have no idea and don't care as don't like PlayStation"?

Please give me some insight as I have evil thoughts about how to eliminate the PlayStation which would make him sad, and I know he likes it.

redfish44

Dear Redfish44,

Theres not much Dear Neverdie can say about this one. Indeed you bf is being very naughty & not getting ready to eat dinner on time, there is no excuse for this type of behaviour.

Perhaps you could try to use other persuasive ways to get him away fromt he playstation .....if you are not sure about their effectiveness you could come try them on dear neverdie first .

You havent taken one of the natives in have you red? Is this his first home with modern games? How old is he red....do I need to call the BIB? Naughty girl .....I'm afraid it might be time for the playstation to have a serious accident.

[patklang]

are dealing with snakes, mice and dead stuff

men also make good bed warmers for when u are conserving money and not putting on the heater in night time.-- the man gets in bed first, warms up the bed, then u can climb in ,

bina

israel

Really? I find that they gripe about the cold bed as well. I have gotten an electric pad heater that goes under the sheet and blanket here in Korea, and it is beautiful. I think guys have a lot of competition now, lol.

We sure do have plenty of competition nudge nudge wink wink, hehehehehehehe

[sbk]

Nope, eek, snakes are a regular occurrence around our house. Last one was a python which dh removed --with a bit of unwilling help from myself, I must add, but we didn't want to kill it so I had to help trap the fella.

Ever since the first cobra behind the toilet nearly 20 years ago, snakes have been his job.

[F1fanatic]

I think the answer he gave you is probably true!

Having watched a lot of films over the last couple of years ('cos there's no decent TV!), the portrayal of women has really hit me and made me think.

I've mentioned this to a few friends - how in films women jump into bed with any man as soon as they meet him; young, attractive women happily jump into bed with old, unattractive men etc. and it's all portrayed as if it's the norm and there's nothing unusual about it!

Once I realised this was the standard portrayal of women in films I became v annoyed.

However, my friends tell me that American women really do behave this way!

Personally I don't believe it and look forward to an American woman telling me it's rubbish.

Meanwhile I don't blame your b/f in the slightest. If I relied on movies for my info on Western women, I'd think exactly the same thing!!!

[redfish44]

Dear Redfish44,

Theres not much Dear Neverdie can say about this one. Indeed you bf is being very naughty & not getting ready to eat dinner on time, there is no excuse for this type of behaviour.

yay!

thanks for that - nice to have someone agree with me for a change from the testosterone domain regarding this!

Perhaps you could try to use other persuasive ways to get him away fromt he playstation...

yes there are other ways... but the ones that work as a distraction from the playstation don't exactly lead to going out for food either...

You havent taken one of the natives in have you red? Is this his first home with modern games? How old is he red....do I need to call the BIB? Naughty girl .....I'm afraid it might be time for the playstation to have a serious accident.

He is thai if that's what you mean, mid-late 20s.

The playstation was in his life before me (I believe it may have been responsible for him appearing to me as aloof and mysterious when we first met - he wasn't: in actuality he was just on the playstation upstairs).

Is the BIB a special branch that can result in serious "accidents" to playstations?

...I'm not hungry or annoyed enough to call in the heavies just yet

[redfish44]

I find that my friends can still have a certain view of western women which they have got from the media I think, however will automatically cut me and like minded friends out of these generalisations. For instance there was a girl staying at a guest house where I used to live who took to strolling round the restaurant in her bikini...it used to p*ss me off. Not because I am particularly sensitive, but because I didn't appreciate someone's ass in my face when I am eating (she also liked to bend over in her bikini quite a lot). Thanks. So I was chatting to one of the guys there who I am friends with and saying how much it annoyed me and he was laughing and was like "yeah but she's just a farang" so I said well what would you do if I did it, cos I am a farang, and he was like "no, that's different" and looked at me like I had just suggested his mother do it....

Agree with you totally on this one mssabai.

We had a particularly unfortunate incident today at Klong Nin in a restaurant involving a middle-aged female of European decent with ample flesh and a ridiculously small bikini barely covering anything (and actually embedded in places). I am sure she had a great body for her age, but we just didn't need to see that much of it.

Was more than enough when she walked through the restaurant to the beach, slowly, stopping to bend over tables to talk to people; but then when it started raining heavily, she came back from the beach and kept wandering about the restaurant in the rain, bending over to talk to people, without even wrapping a towel or putting a sarong on (like everyone else in swimwear did)... she kept moving about and it was very difficult not to cop an eye full.

She really might as well have been naked - there was a lot of her and not much fabric. She just didn't get it though - not a clue.

I'm all for freedom etc, but there is a time and a place - where people are eating, I wish others would try not to be so free with the flesh: this goes for anywhere in the world (such as the Mediterranean - at least today it was only one individual).

Then I had a similar conversation to yours above, mssabai.

I hope I never elict cringing facial expressions and "not good' comments from bar and waiting staff for such behaviour.

Perhaps karma will bite me on my aging arse after this post, and I'll end up with alzhimers and start wandering about in very small clothes - but that's the only way I can see myself doing such a thing.

[mssabai]

I am sooooooo happy Mr Sabai likes neither the playstation nor football...my dream man

*ahen* well sometimes...

[HorseDoctor]

So are we to believe from his statement Thai women are special paragons of sexual "virtue" and honesty-( particularly toward western men?)

[HorseDoctor]

I think the answer he gave you is probably true!

Having watched a lot of films over the last couple of years ('cos there's no decent TV!), the portrayal of women has really hit me and made me think.

I've mentioned this to a few friends - how in films women jump into bed with any man as soon as they meet him; young, attractive women happily jump into bed with old, unattractive men etc. and it's all portrayed as if it's the norm and there's nothing unusual about it!

Once I realised this was the standard portrayal of women in films I became v annoyed.

However, my friends tell me that American women really do behave this way!

Personally I don't believe it and look forward to an American woman telling me it's rubbish.

Meanwhile I don't blame your b/f in the slightest. If I relied on movies for my info on Western women, I'd think exactly the same thing!!!

Are you joking? This is more normal in Thailand that it will EVER BE in US .

The difference is in the US , women are expected to dress extremely provocatively as their value is all wrapped up on how sexually attractive they are perceived.

Here women dress more modestly but c'mon, CENSORED is rampant, though, " Illegal" it's practically institutionalized .

[sbk]

So are we to believe from his statement Thai women are special paragons of sexual "virtue" and honesty-( particularly toward western men?)

Who? the boyfriend? I don't have the feeling that is what he was talking about. And I think you tend to have a blinkered view of Thailand based almost entirely on complete and utter negativity. I know many many Thai women who do not jump into bed with anyone, much less some random western man. It all depends on the company you keep as well as the way you choose to perceive the world. If all you do is see and seek the negative then that is all you will see.