sambai Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Does anyone else on in this forum have experience of dating "normal" Thai girls? I have spent the past couple of weeks wining and dining some of them but it's not been too successful. I am 41 years old, still look reasonably young, but I'm beginning to think I'm too old for them. I don't know quite what happened but a couple of weeks ago I suddenly had several 'dates' to go out with - maybe I was just in the right place at the right time. However, none of them have turned out to have much in the way of warmth or compassion. Contrast this with my previous Isaan girl - there is no comparison. The best one was a girl I met at the bank. She comes from a fairly rich, educated family and speaks fluent English. She is not in the slightest bit "Thai" in her outlook. She has lived and studied abroad. I have been dating her for a week and we've had tremendous fun. We went to Sirocco restaurant at the top of State Tower. We had lots of nice days together. Last week she was talking of introducing me to her family. She started speaking about the future and including me in it. But today she's had a go at me for spelling her name incorrectly in my text messages (I write Thai but this was in English, so my mistake I guess). Yesterday I took some fruit to her office as a romantic gesture. She really didn't like me coming to the office. Now she's suddenly stopped replying to me. Is this par for the course with normal Thai girls with slightly older foreigners like me? Are they simply not interested? Admittedly this girl is not conventional Thai. She doesn't go to the temple and she doesn't like the "Thai institution". She is 26 years old and slightly old-fashioned in outlook. Any advice as to how to 'win her' back would be appreciated!!! Feeling pretty sh**ty about it at the moment. I can't understand why my two misdemeanours are so bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Open you wallet and start handing out the dosh...found this usually works Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maigo6 Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Give her 100,000 baht instead of Fruit, and stay away from her office, she is embarrassed to be associated with you, beg her forgiveness for your thoughtlessness, and transfer the 100K immediately. Then, and only then, you should approach the subject of any future contact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maigo6 Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 I have been dating her for a week and we've had tremendous fun. Looks like she didn't have as much fun as you did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marksamui Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 There tend to be plently of guys looking for visa's for their GF on the visa to other countries page. The majority quote that she is in (was in) university, has a good job etc. I am sure most would be able to help (although I very much doubt that they will................... ) I have no suggestions for you apart from the fact that she sounds a little nuts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fore Man Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 (edited) I've been through this a long time ago...and wound up married happily to the same gal after a 5-year courtship; but you just have to be gentle but persistent. Thai women are often counseled by well-meaning older sisters, aunts, mothers and so forth to be very wary of a farang man who demonstrates an interest in them. The conventional wisdom is that the guy will drop her and move on to a new lady. We are unfortunately notorious for being butterflies (gao chu). This causes the gal loss of face and a bad case of 'na daeng' plus perhaps a broken heart as well. Keep applying gentle pressure and reassure her that you are seeing nobody else and are willing to stick by her for as long as it takes. Apologize for showing up unannounced at her office. In her culture, doing so created a new source of tension for her by letting her coworkers and friends glimpse a new, very personal aspect of her life. It would have been far smarter to have the fruit delivered with a note from 'a secret admirer', allowing some mysticism and suspense to build for her at work. In my case, I bought a set of solid gold earrings for my lady and handed them to her privately...she wanted to refuse them but I think she secretly loved the gift and its hidden meaning that I had placed her in a special position...not someone to 'love and leave'. Take it slowly and be a gentleman. Dress nicely and always be immaculate in your grooming. She and her family and friends will place a lot in your appearance and manner (phu dee). Even a higher class Thai woman is drawn to a caring, romantic farang...in direct contrast to many Thai men who have poor reputations for how they treat their ladies. I also totally disagree with another poster's suggestion to give her money...she will take this as a sign that she can be bought and may resent it. Money in the form of meaningful gifts is far more appropriate. Good luck! Edited March 17, 2009 by Fore Man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkkjames Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 You disagree with MR.GO? Don't worry about it, everyone else does too. But I do agree with him on this, don't go to her office bearing gifts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasRanger Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Whatever you do show no weakness, women hate that. If she is being weird, give er some space and go out to play. Life is too short to take crap. Some people find love at first sight, some take years to find the right one and some never ever do. Just enjoy life. It will probably come. Good luck No weakness, remember! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkkjames Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Whatever you do show no weakness, women hate that. If she is being weird, give er some space and go out to play.Life is too short to take crap. Some people find love at first sight, some take years to find the right one and some never ever do. Just enjoy life. It will probably come. Good luck No weakness, remember! And to add, Thai Women are no different that farang women. You need to know which buttons to press and when not to press them. The key to any good relationship is to make them think they are winning. Some say its about give and take. I say its take first and ask for permission later. Example: Honey, I want to go have beer with the mates tonight to celebrate St Patties Day No, you just went for a beer on Friday - Mrs Replies True, but I will bring back some yummie Irish Cakes Oh ok dear, have fun. - Mrs Replies with a smile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lozfranco Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Does anyone else on in this forum have experience of dating "normal" Thai girls? I have spent the past couple of weeks wining and dining some of them but it's not been too successful. I am 41 years old, still look reasonably young, but I'm beginning to think I'm too old for them.I don't know quite what happened but a couple of weeks ago I suddenly had several 'dates' to go out with - maybe I was just in the right place at the right time. However, none of them have turned out to have much in the way of warmth or compassion. Contrast this with my previous Isaan girl - there is no comparison. The best one was a girl I met at the bank. She comes from a fairly rich, educated family and speaks fluent English. She is not in the slightest bit "Thai" in her outlook. She has lived and studied abroad. I have been dating her for a week and we've had tremendous fun. We went to Sirocco restaurant at the top of State Tower. We had lots of nice days together. Last week she was talking of introducing me to her family. She started speaking about the future and including me in it. But today she's had a go at me for spelling her name incorrectly in my text messages (I write Thai but this was in English, so my mistake I guess). Yesterday I took some fruit to her office as a romantic gesture. She really didn't like me coming to the office. Now she's suddenly stopped replying to me. Is this par for the course with normal Thai girls with slightly older foreigners like me? Are they simply not interested? Admittedly this girl is not conventional Thai. She doesn't go to the temple and she doesn't like the "Thai institution". She is 26 years old and slightly old-fashioned in outlook. Any advice as to how to 'win her' back would be appreciated!!! Feeling pretty sh**ty about it at the moment. I can't understand why my two misdemeanours are so bad. She's on the rag mate, give at week and things will be back to normal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sambai Posted March 17, 2009 Author Share Posted March 17, 2009 I also totally disagree with another poster's suggestion to give her money...she will take this as a sign that she can be bought and may resent it. Money in the form of meaningful gifts is far more appropriate. Good luck! I really really appreciate your reply. I know it's not money she's after. She is the sort of girl who is really particular about manners and appearance. I accept that I've made a stupid mistake in going to the office. Sadly I seem to have blown my chances. I have now written her a letter and I am planning to have it delivered to her desk tomorrow. Hopefully I might be able to rescue the relationship although I'm worried I might be comitting yet another faux pas by doing so. Do you think this is a good idea? Thanks again Fore Man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CelticBhoy Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 And to add, Thai Women are no different that farang women. You need to know which buttons to press and when not to press them. The key to any good relationship is to make them think they are winning. Some say its about give and take. I say its take first and ask for permission later. Example: Honey, I want to go have beer with the mates tonight to celebrate St Patties Day No, you just went for a beer on Friday - Mrs Replies True, but I will bring back some yummie Irish Cakes Oh ok dear, have fun. - Mrs Replies with a smile. Sorry to stick my nose in here, but what is an Irish cake? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasRanger Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Sorry to stick my nose in here, but what is an Irish cake? Dunno but if it comes from ireland and smells like marzipan I aint going anywhere near it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adjan jb Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 No weakness, remember! Yes. Be hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DP25 Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Sorry to stick my nose in here, but what is an Irish cake? As long as the wife doesn't ask, it doesn't matter. You'll already be at the pub, just bring back anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G54 Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 I am given to believe a Thai lady does not go back once they have broken up. You could send her 100 roses, they like that. Or get to see the mother, buy her a nice flowering bush / plant. Win the mother over and you get her talking in your favour and good Thai ladies do as mummy tells them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulysses G. Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Does anyone else on in this forum have experience of dating "normal" Thai girls? I have spent the past couple of weeks wining and dining some of them but it's not been too successful. I am 41 years old, still look reasonably young, but I'm beginning to think I'm too old for them. Yes, leave the youngsters alone you old git. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patklang Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 So this only happens in Thailand does it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuestHouse Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 How long does it take you to get the messages? (There are two). 1. She's pishing you about. 2. Look around you for message No. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottyd Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 (edited) It's hard meeting a nice lass anywhere in the world. As Michael Jackson once said "You are not alone" followed by "EEEEE HEEEEEEEE Chamone" Edited March 17, 2009 by scottyd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trogers Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 It's the time of the month, mate Don't you understand women? XXtra sensitive during this one week...so stay a good distant and just drop her a note to say Hi now and then. She should be back to normal in a week's time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommysboy Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Does anyone else on in this forum have experience of dating "normal" Thai girls? I have spent the past couple of weeks wining and dining some of them but it's not been too successful. I am 41 years old, still look reasonably young, but I'm beginning to think I'm too old for them.I don't know quite what happened but a couple of weeks ago I suddenly had several 'dates' to go out with - maybe I was just in the right place at the right time. However, none of them have turned out to have much in the way of warmth or compassion. Contrast this with my previous Isaan girl - there is no comparison. The best one was a girl I met at the bank. She comes from a fairly rich, educated family and speaks fluent English. She is not in the slightest bit "Thai" in her outlook. She has lived and studied abroad. I have been dating her for a week and we've had tremendous fun. We went to Sirocco restaurant at the top of State Tower. We had lots of nice days together. Last week she was talking of introducing me to her family. She started speaking about the future and including me in it. But today she's had a go at me for spelling her name incorrectly in my text messages (I write Thai but this was in English, so my mistake I guess). Yesterday I took some fruit to her office as a romantic gesture. She really didn't like me coming to the office. Now she's suddenly stopped replying to me. Is this par for the course with normal Thai girls with slightly older foreigners like me? Are they simply not interested? Admittedly this girl is not conventional Thai. She doesn't go to the temple and she doesn't like the "Thai institution". She is 26 years old and slightly old-fashioned in outlook. Any advice as to how to 'win her' back would be appreciated!!! Feeling pretty sh**ty about it at the moment. I can't understand why my two misdemeanours are so bad. The bad bit is highlighted. Sorry but you are young middle aged- you know how you might have felt about a 40 year old when you were 20 or so. The romantic ideal you may be after tends to be reserved for younger people in wealthier western societies, so in a sense you may be asking for the impossible IMHO. Could be this girl is a bit nuts anyway although the age difference isn't so bad. If you after a genuine relationship, then you need to get back to the west and find a nice woman of around 30-35 if possible. So just take what's on offer here and on no account look for a relationship with these girls, look how it's effected you already, it can get much worse if you aren't careful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenSnapper Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Whatever you do show no weakness, women hate that. If she is being weird, give er some space and go out to play.Life is too short to take crap. Exactly. And forget the crap with flowers etc. This is only for the inexperienced. Women do come back here, faster than you would believe. Just don't show them too much interest. And remember: there is no need to cry after a lost love. There are heaps of proper girls here, just go and look for them. Make yourself the price - not the other way round. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Briggsy Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 (edited) Confidence is a funny thing. You never know when it will desert you. Oh and you are probably too auld for a middle-class attractive 20-something. And her long-time on/off Thai boyfriend (similar age and social background) has just found out about you (from her) and he knows how to apply the pressure to get her to give you the flick. But she'll keep you in the background for a while to apply some pressure back on him. Edited March 17, 2009 by Briggsy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkles Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Does anyone else on in this forum have experience of dating "normal" Thai girls? I have spent the past couple of weeks wining and dining some of them but it's not been too successful. I am 41 years old, still look reasonably young, but I'm beginning to think I'm too old for them.I don't know quite what happened but a couple of weeks ago I suddenly had several 'dates' to go out with - maybe I was just in the right place at the right time. However, none of them have turned out to have much in the way of warmth or compassion. Contrast this with my previous Isaan girl - there is no comparison. The best one was a girl I met at the bank. She comes from a fairly rich, educated family and speaks fluent English. She is not in the slightest bit "Thai" in her outlook. She has lived and studied abroad. I have been dating her for a week and we've had tremendous fun. We went to Sirocco restaurant at the top of State Tower. We had lots of nice days together. Last week she was talking of introducing me to her family. She started speaking about the future and including me in it. But today she's had a go at me for spelling her name incorrectly in my text messages (I write Thai but this was in English, so my mistake I guess). Yesterday I took some fruit to her office as a romantic gesture. She really didn't like me coming to the office. Now she's suddenly stopped replying to me. Is this par for the course with normal Thai girls with slightly older foreigners like me? Are they simply not interested? Admittedly this girl is not conventional Thai. She doesn't go to the temple and she doesn't like the "Thai institution". She is 26 years old and slightly old-fashioned in outlook. Any advice as to how to 'win her' back would be appreciated!!! Feeling pretty sh**ty about it at the moment. I can't understand why my two misdemeanours are so bad. There are ,I would estimate, about 1 million single , available ladies in Bangkok. Move on. 1... Prepare your own check list of what you enjoy/don't enjoy in a partner. 2.... If the words "will you take care of me ?" are spoken from the lady also move on, quickly !!!!! 3. After 3 dates/meetings etc if you feel is is not working also move on. 4. Dont waste valuable time wondering "what went wrong ?" it will do your head in. Women are from another planet and sometimes when a Thai women says no it means yes, and vice versa PM me if you wiish for the complete list which resulted in me meeting a wonderful Thai lady and fullfilling our mutual expectations completley. We are blissfully happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pushit Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 But today she's had a go at me for spelling her name incorrectly in my text messages (I write Thai but this was in English, so my mistake I guess). Yesterday I took some fruit to her office as a romantic gesture. She really didn't like me coming to the office. Now she's suddenly stopped replying to me. Albatross Alert!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redscouse Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 I also totally disagree with another poster's suggestion to give her money...she will take this as a sign that she can be bought and may resent it. Money in the form of meaningful gifts is far more appropriate. Good luck! I really really appreciate your reply. I know it's not money she's after. She is the sort of girl who is really particular about manners and appearance. I accept that I've made a stupid mistake in going to the office. Sadly I seem to have blown my chances. I have now written her a letter and I am planning to have it delivered to her desk tomorrow. Hopefully I might be able to rescue the relationship although I'm worried I might be comitting yet another faux pas by doing so. Do you think this is a good idea? Thanks again Fore Man. Do not send the letter, I know you are not taking the letter yourself but its still invasive and to be honest mate a bit too on top, you will chase her away. you have made the move with the sms and its up to her to reply. One way to go would be to send her sms and tell her you will be in a certain restaurant at a certain time and invite her, tell her you would like to see her. if she doesnt turn up then forget her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yabaaaa Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Does anyone else on in this forum have experience of dating "normal" Thai girls? I have spent the past couple of weeks wining and dining some of them but it's not been too successful. I am 41 years old, still look reasonably young, but I'm beginning to think I'm too old for them.I don't know quite what happened but a couple of weeks ago I suddenly had several 'dates' to go out with - maybe I was just in the right place at the right time. However, none of them have turned out to have much in the way of warmth or compassion. Contrast this with my previous Isaan girl - there is no comparison. The best one was a girl I met at the bank. She comes from a fairly rich, educated family and speaks fluent English. She is not in the slightest bit "Thai" in her outlook. She has lived and studied abroad. I have been dating her for a week and we've had tremendous fun. We went to Sirocco restaurant at the top of State Tower. We had lots of nice days together. Last week she was talking of introducing me to her family. She started speaking about the future and including me in it. But today she's had a go at me for spelling her name incorrectly in my text messages (I write Thai but this was in English, so my mistake I guess). Yesterday I took some fruit to her office as a romantic gesture. She really didn't like me coming to the office. Now she's suddenly stopped replying to me. Is this par for the course with normal Thai girls with slightly older foreigners like me? Are they simply not interested? Admittedly this girl is not conventional Thai. She doesn't go to the temple and she doesn't like the "Thai institution". She is 26 years old and slightly old-fashioned in outlook. Any advice as to how to 'win her' back would be appreciated!!! Feeling pretty sh**ty about it at the moment. I can't understand why my two misdemeanours are so bad. About 1 week!!!!! I think that summed it up for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henryalleman Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 I am 41 years old, still look reasonably young, but I'm beginning to think I'm too old for them. She is 26 years old and slightly old-fashioned in outlook. sambai I do think you are fishing in the wrong pond. There a lot 35 years old and up, very atractive and lovely independent career women with no strings attached who are looking for a serious relationship. Where to meet them? There are a lot of public parks all over Thailand where at evening there are some activities like Aerobics, work outs, jogging, Thai-Chi, Chinese dance, Petanque, and all kind of sports. You can even try a dating side who are specialized in mature women. Put your profile and state clearly that you are looking for a single and financialy independent women without children, you will be overwhelmed with responses, and you will never have a lonely weekend again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottyd Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 (edited) Don't send her a letter, flowers, or anything nice, it shows you are a little girly man. Send her some dog shit, that proves how manly and hard you really are. Edited March 17, 2009 by scottyd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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