Child Abuse: Can The Police Deal With It?

[aughie]

I would consult with your doctor. See if you can discern from him the professional and legal obligation of a doctor and a hospital in a situation like this. When the children are examined at a hospital their condition becomes a matter of record. Is the hospital legally obligated/required to report a crime? If the hospital is obligated they can be pushed towards dealing with the authorities. They will have more clout. Get copies of the test results.

How much backing do you have from the family?

Who else have the children told?

Will you and your family be safe?

A family member of the children must take the lead or lead with yon this. The family must be together as a grop to stand against the intimidating factors. A family seeking justice is a stronger front and a group represents the conscious of a community. The family goes to the hospital for the children's test. All of the family if possible.

i wish I had more to add.

Edited January 21, 2005 by aughie

[chuchok]

You certainly don't want to end up dead over this.

There must be somebody on this forum that has or knows somebody with experience in this matter? Then maybe you can share all the information privatly.

As mentioned by other posters, this is not the West and you obviously have to be carefull. As emotive as this issue is, cool heads are needed.

Good Luck.

[elsie]

There is one organisation that has dealt with such cases for a very long time. Child Protection Foundation.

[anonymo]

Some questions for you Anonymo.

How far do you live from the home of this guy? condo, apartment? how many in the block / street?

Could you actually enter this abode again, either welcomed or not? could you get privacy for 3 minutes?

Are you financial enough to buy a few things = 10,000 baht?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Tornado

The family live in a compound (I'm sure you know the style) with many immediate and extended family members - this includes the adult male in question. Only the immediate family are aware of the situation.

I still appear to be respected by the family, they have nearly all agreed that I am right but that I do not understand the loss of face that the family will endure if this is made public.

I visit the family home almost every day even though the atmosphere is very uncomfortable, I do not feel threatened.

I can manage 10,000.

Where is this going?

Thanks

[anonymo]

i dont think anoymo should get too involved in thai affairs, as it would be suicidal ,its up to the thai family to resolve the situation in their own way--just my 5 bht worth

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I understand your point of view but I am not able to ignore this. My own daughter is part of this family, one of the girls in question is, to all intents and purposes, my step-daughter and the other is in the same way my niece - I have watched these girls grow up over the last few years . . . I am part of this family.

[anonymo]

where is the girl's father in all this?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

One of the girls' father works away and sends money home for the family to take care of her - mother disappeared years ago.

The other girl's father is dead and I am effectively but not legally in loco parentis.

[Ijustwannateach]

Whatever you're doing, I hope you're getting advice from Thais experienced in this tricky area before you do anything- get those contact numbers from Kat and anyone else, and don't try to do anything on your own, or you really will be in a world of trouble.

It sounds to me like you need to decide where you are going to move before you do anything else, because unless you want to be faced with the threat of violence for a long time you'll need to be elsewhere. It's too bad, but true.

"Steven"

[anonymo]

You certainly don't want to end up dead over this.

There must be somebody on this forum that has or knows somebody with experience in this matter? Then maybe you can share all the information privatly.

As mentioned by other posters, this is not the West and you obviously have to be carefull. As emotive as this issue is, cool heads are needed.

Good Luck.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You have hit the nail on the head - right now I need somebody in authority or at least with relevant experience who I can trust and confide the details with - if there is anyone here who fits that bill please make contact.

So far I think that I have now managed to remove the offender from the home, my concerns now are - 1 - how to keep him away, 2 - how to help the girls 'recover'.

[anonymo]

I understand your point of view but I am not able to ignore this.  My own daughter is part of this family, one of the girls in question is, to all intents and purposes, my step-daughter and the other is in the same way my niece - I have watched these girls grow up over the last few years . . . I am part of this family.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If this is true, I fail to see why you are posting this here... and why the guys brains are not splattered somewhere!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I have now managed to remove him from the family home - revenge, retribution, justice or whatever you like to call it can be dealt with later. Right now I want to ensure the physical and mental health of the girls. The most important thing for me is to find someone who can help me with that - so far some of the contacts coming from this discussion look like they may be able to help with that.

I understand why you accuse me of being a troll - but I cannot go into the full details that would prove me to be genuine, you must be able to understand that.

[taxexile]

you could try

[email protected]

for some advice and help.

and try and control your violent instincts. acting on those wont be helping anybody right now.

are the rest of the family keeping a special eye on the children now that they are aware of what might have happened , or is it life as normal in the compound.

[anonymo]

There is one organisation that has dealt with such cases for a very long time. Child Protection Foundation.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thank you - I have made contact with them now.

[chuchok]

Some questions for you Anonymo.

How far do you live from the home of this guy? condo, apartment? how many in the block / street?

Could you actually enter this abode again, either welcomed or not? could you get privacy for 3 minutes?

Are you financial enough to buy a few things = 10,000 baht?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Tornado

The family live in a compound (I'm sure you know the style) with many immediate and extended family members - this includes the adult male in question. Only the immediate family are aware of the situation.

I still appear to be respected by the family, they have nearly all agreed that I am right but that I do not understand the loss of face that the family will endure if this is made public.

I visit the family home almost every day even though the atmosphere is very uncomfortable, I do not feel threatened.

I can manage 10,000.

Where is this going?

Thanks

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I imagine Tornado is thinking of a HIT.

And... sorry to say this.... but you are sounding like a TROLL.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Rav, this does not sound like trollish at all. It is a scene that is far too common , where FACE wins over common scence/decency.

If you wanted to do a hit, it can be done for much less than 10 thou.

[anonymo]

you could try

[email protected]

for some advice and help.

and try and control your violent instincts. acting on those wont be helping anybody right now.

are the rest of the family keeping a special eye on the children now that they are aware of what might have happened , or is it life as normal in the compound.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I have contacted that foundation and am waiting for their reply, thanks.

Life is most definitely not as normal - the children are being kept close.

[aughie]

A large ISO 9000+ Hospital should have this sort of facility. Probably in their Peadatrics department.

My ex dealt with this sort of situation. When children start talking about specifics in this subject, thet obviuosly they have not normally been exposed to it is a "Very strong sign", firstly they have knowledge you weld never expect them to have and secondly, they are trying to "Talk themselves better"

Good luck

Thanks - I think my doctor is in an ISO900X hospital - making the call now.

Would you be prepared to tell me if your ex was able to deal with the situation succesfully?

What did the doctor say?

[triplegee]

And... sorry to say this.... but you are sounding like a TROLL.

VERY poor judgement call Ravisher.

Anonymo - hang in there, your intentions are to be admired, let's hope your resilience is the same. No easy answer here but hopefully a way forward will transpire.

Good luck.

GGG

[Richard Hall]

Suggest contacting and asking the following place for advice:

Ministry of Labour and Social Welfare

Thanon Krung Kasem,

Bangkok 10110

Tel: 66-2-2813199 / 2810969

Fax: 66-2-2800284 / 2828883

This is not a NGO but rather the Government themselves being also in charge for child adoption. A couple of years ago I was there and discussed with a officier the subject of child adoption. Very much down to earth and sincerely interested in the welfare of children.

Heaps of luck.

[anonymo]

A large ISO 9000+ Hospital should have this sort of facility. Probably in their Peadatrics department.

My ex dealt with this sort of situation. When children start talking about specifics in this subject, thet obviuosly they have not normally been exposed to it is a "Very strong sign", firstly they have knowledge you weld never expect them to have and secondly, they are trying to "Talk themselves better"

Good luck

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks - I think my doctor is in an ISO900X hospital - making the call now.

Would you be prepared to tell me if your ex was able to deal with the situation succesfully?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What did the doctor say?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

'Don't get involved' - I'm finding a new doctor.

[anonymo]

Suggest contacting and asking the following place for advice:

Ministry of Labour and Social Welfare

Thanon Krung Kasem,

Bangkok 10110

Tel: 66-2-2813199 / 2810969

Fax: 66-2-2800284 / 2828883

This is not a NGO but rather the Government themselves being also in charge for child adoption. A couple of years ago I was there and discussed with a officier the subject of child adoption. Very much down to earth and sincerely interested in the welfare of children.

Heaps of luck.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thank you Richard - I'll try that number now but I guess I won't be able to get anything out of them until Monday.

[chuchok]

Rav, The Doctors comment is "almost" typical. ie: don't get involved, don't get anybody to lose face and the problem will just go away. sad but true.

[NarrLing]

I’m afraid to say this Anonymo, I think your doctors advice “Don’t get involved” may be the best.

The family is dealing with this in their way from what you are saying and the pervert concerned is temporarily, hopefully permanently, out of the scene now. He too will have lost a lot of face and may wish to stay out of the scene in the future.

I also see the families concerns for saving face. This means a lot to them and in some situations, if they feel you are interfering and causing that loss of face to happen, your good intentions/commendable actions may turn them against you. Even though you are married and part of the family, you are still not “Thai”.

Your comments “I visit the family home almost every day even though the atmosphere is very uncomfortable, I do not feel threatened.” suggest to me the family want to deal with this problem their way.

By all means get some help from a counselor for the children involved, but I am concerned if the authorities do get involved, the situation will get out of hand and the children will suffer.

May I suggest you sit back for a while, calm down a bit and see what action the family takes before jumping in head first.

Whatever you decide, I wish the best for the children.

NL

[chuchok]

Rav, The Doctors comment is "almost" typical. ie: don't get involved, don't get anybody to lose face and the problem will just go away. sad but true.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Not in my (Thai) wifes opinion.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Same mine, but the above does happen and I hazard a guess that it happens more than we really care to think about. I also asked my wife what she would do and she just drew her finger across her throat.... She also agreed that many Thai people will just sweep things like this under the carpet to save face. I asked her why and I got "......because they are stupid and they do not understand the harm they are doing!"

[triplegee]

I did also notice that 'anonymo' was 'lurking' at the bottom of the page earlier, where it says who is reading this... and obviously reading our comments... but not 'responding'  

Not everyone feels it necessary to respond on impulse.

Why do I feel a sense of deja vu? The facts and issues that Anonymo is confronted with are complex yet once again you seem to know all.

There are such things as considered responses you know. You are losing it Ravisher if the basis of your jugdement calls is one's response time to your jibes. Anonymo has far more pressing issues to deal with than sitting in front of his PC responding to your posts.

Come to think... so do I!!

[kreon]

You certainly don't want to end up dead over this.

There must be somebody on this forum that has or knows somebody with experience in this matter? Then maybe you can share all the information privatly.

As mentioned by other posters, this is not the West and you obviously have to be carefull. As emotive as this issue is, cool heads are needed.

Good Luck.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You have hit the nail on the head - right now I need somebody in authority or at least with relevant experience who I can trust and confide the details with - if there is anyone here who fits that bill please make contact.

So far I think that I have now managed to remove the offender from the home, my concerns now are - 1 - how to keep him away, 2 - how to help the girls 'recover'.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

your concern now should be watching your back, these kind of thai guys can get very nasty and will give you a lot of grief

the problem you can't trust anyone when it comes to loss of face, let them deal with it the thai way, or get rid of the guy, but don't land yourself in the bangkok hilton

[janeny]

"Thai Rak Thai" even if you meant well you're still a foreigner, and for thais once a foreigner always be a foreigner.

[kreon]

You have hit the nail on the head - right now I need somebody in authority or at least with relevant experience who I can trust and confide the details with - if there is anyone here who fits that bill please make contact.

So far I think that I have now managed to remove the offender from the home, my concerns now are - 1 - how to keep him away, 2 - how to help the girls 'recover'.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

your concern now should be watching your back, these kind of thai guys can get very nasty and will give you a lot of grief

the problem you can't trust anyone when it comes to loss of face, let them deal with it the thai way, or get rid of the guy, but don't land yourself in the bangkok hilton

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If this is all true, then he is really stuck between a rock and a hard place. If the family will not/cannot help and the police will not/cannot help... and doctors will not/cannot help, telling him "Do not to get involved", and he doesn't know any local 'bad' guys... and cannot trust anybody there... and he's a foriegner in a strange land... He is in extremely deep sh!t. (and is still not 100% sure that this has happened?)

Kids have been know to lie about this sort of thing... make up stories... play pretend... or it may have been somebody else using the kids to throw off suspitions... or any number of things... As anonymo said earlier, if not the guy he mentioned, then he'd have to find out what started these allegations... suggestions...

Not sure what it is... but something is still not fitting here???

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

too many gaps, all sound trollish to me, if you google it there are many ways how you can deal with it, why ask here, why has it been going on for so long

where's darknight

[Tarragona]

My (Thai) wife reckons that this would be a likely scenario:

The family wanting to keep it quiet is understandable. But they would surely all quietly kick ten heaps of &lt;deleted&gt; out of him and then quietly send him packing. No need for outsiders to be involved in that.

[Shola]

Well in all fairness to 'anonymous' this is a fairly heavy thing to have on your chest and apeaking to other falang in a forum like this and asking for help may be the way he deals with it emotionally, plus getting some advice at the same time.

As for the fact he was 'lurking' on the forum he may well have just been online but not actually at the computer, as I am often.

I am hoping to see this resolved while following the situation and action is now definatly called for so please tell us what you have achieved so far anon and what your next step is?

[leftcross]

I'm with Ravisher and Kreon.

If any bloke came across this sort of thing for real, he wouldn't be repeatedly posting on a forum for info. He would take immediate and decisive action. Never mind 'face' and comeback issues etc etc, if a child close to you is being hurt you do something about it the instant you have proof. It's the most natural and human instinct there is.

Edited January 22, 2005 by leftcross

[Neeranam]

I'm with Ravisher and Kreon.

If any bloke came across this sort of thing for real, he wouldn't be repeatedly posting on a forum for info. He would take immediate and decisive action. Never mind 'face' and comeback issues etc etc, if a child close to you is being hurt you do something about it the instant you have proof. It's the most natural and human instinct there is.

My initial thoughts were the same, however, it is a very serious situation, and who am I to question the validity of the postings.

My gut feeling is that something is not quite right here.

annonymo said he has a daughter near all of this. Having a daughter myself, I would make sure that the accused would never come back, and if that weren't possible, i would get the ###### away from there, and it wouldn't be posting all about it TV.

[DaiMai]

..........why the guys brains are not splattered somewhere!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This may be your only viable option!!

Read the other comments about the Thai attitude to a foreigner.

If you cannot maintain your anonymity you may end up the one splattered....................

At this level Thailand is not a nice place!!