Wife Wants To Go Back To Thailand To Have Baby

[venturalaw]

Does it not concern you that your child will be born of thai nationality and will therefore have difficulty in later life traveling the world needing visas to so much as cough! My wife and i are flying back to England so the child will be born English even tho the child will have a dual passport this is going to be benificial later in life.

I can't comment on US law, but YOUR child will be British and Thai wherever it's born (no need to be actually born in the UK)

I suspect US rules on nationality will be similar.

Correct. They are. Upon leaving Thailand we show my son's Thai passport, and when entering the US we use his US passport. The reverse when he leaves the US and enters Thailand. He was born in Thailand, and we acquired the US passport within days of his birth and the Thai passport shortly thereafter.

[mizzi39]

Does it not concern you that your child will be born of thai nationality and will therefore have difficulty in later life traveling the world needing visas to so much as cough! My wife and i are flying back to England so the child will be born English even tho the child will have a dual passport this is going to be benificial later in life.

I can't comment on US law, but YOUR child will be British and Thai wherever it's born (no need to be actually born in the UK)

I suspect US rules on nationality will be similar.

Correct. They are. Upon leaving Thailand we show my son's Thai passport, and when entering the US we use his US passport. The reverse when he leaves the US and enters Thailand. He was born in Thailand, and we acquired the US passport within days of his birth and the Thai passport shortly thereafter.

I can double confirm this. My son was born in Thailand and shares the best of both worlds having two passports, (U.S. and Thai) Along with two birth certificates. The counselor report from the U.S. embassy acting as his birth abroad BC.

[dave_boo]

I'll second that opinion on the apparent lack of Thai men's role in the birth of children. The day of the delivery (C-section) I was getting antsy waiting around. So I decided to go for a ride and clear my head (works wonders for me). They, for whatever reason, decided to bump the operation forward 3/4 hour. So when I strolled in 10 minutes before the planned time, it was all over. M.I.L. had a phone and my number and yet didn't call, nor did the wife call. Neither batted an eye at my tardiness (which surprised me). It was a bit surreal to be truthful.

Also, I agree that Thais do not seem to adapt well in foreign enviroments. The plan is to allow our daughter some time in Thai schools and then the family will move to the US. However, even 10 years is a long time, and considering I'm from, and would like to return for that period to, the Rust Belt I'm concerned about how the wife will take it. After the daughter's in uni, we'll consider returning to LOS, but that's a bit aways yet.

[johnnymoretti]

...

I could afford private hospital but i personally chose to have the delivery in a christian hospital(im not christian) They're cheap, Doctors are way more qualifed than at any hospital i have visited and they enjoy their jobs....

Not so sure I understand the logic behind this statement. Did you actually check the credentials of every doctor you visited before settling on a Christian hospital? IMHO, when it comes to price and hospitals, I go with what resonates with me. Some can afford expensive hospitals, and they find out that many of the OB doctors (other specialties, as well) work in private hospitals and government hospitals at the same time. And they enjoy their jobs, too!

Christian, Buddhist, Jewish, Hindu...whatever....my baby would be born in ANY hospital that shared my philosophy and met my our own personal standard of birthcare.

BTW: Our baby was born just TWO DAYS ago! At Thai Nakarin Hosptial. My wife wanted a FULL NATURAL BIRTH and at 9cm she had difficulty so she opted for epidermal. It couldn't have been administered any later! Also, we arrived to hospital while 5 min contractions apart and gave birth in two hours after arriving. This is her first baby..and mine, too!

Anyway, we lived in the US up until the 32 weeks into pregnancy. My wife wanted to give birth here so she arrived one month before. Her doctors speak her language and her sisters are here to help. She speaks English very well, but felt more comfort by being here. I earn a good income and could have afforded any hospital, but we (she) felt most comfortable here and with the doctor she selected. As long as the doctor promoted natural birth, breastfeeding and the chance to allow bonding with baby in the delivery room.

I say to the original poster: Perhaps you are already in Thailand and you've given birth. If so, I applaud you for making it work for baby and mom. If not, then I hope her mother, or other family member, was flown to your country. If neither, then we pray you've had a successful delivery or one to come!

[dixonbm]

Anyway, we lived in the US up until the 32 weeks into pregnancy. My wife wanted to give birth here so she arrived one month before. Her doctors speak her language and her sisters are here to help. She speaks English very well, but felt more comfort by being here. I earn a good income and could have afforded any hospital, but we (she) felt most comfortable here and with the doctor she selected. As long as the doctor promoted natural birth, breastfeeding and the chance to allow bonding with baby in the delivery room.

Johnnymoretti,

Congratulations on your new addition!

I am in a similar situation. My wife would like to go to Thailand for the birth, but I am somewhat limited in the vacation time I can take. I am also concerned that I could miss the birth if she delivered early or miss bonding with the baby if she is late, since my time in Thailand would be limited.

Do you own your own business? If not how did you coordinate this with your employer? How long did you and your wife stay in Thailand following the birth? I'd love to hear more about how you made this possible for your wife.

Cheers!

[Datsun240Z]

Thai family bonds seems very strongh, this proofs it! Even her husband have to lay back for the family...

I think it's best to let her go then for a while. You can relax a bit.

[sbk]

Its best if your wife applies for a re-entry permit --she needs to do this before she leaves the country. This will allow her to stay outside the country for up to two years without a problem. Theoretically, she should be able to leave the country for up to a year without an issue, but, better safe than sorry.

Your child will have US citizenship regardless of which country he or she is born in. Just make sure that you are listed as the father on the birth certificate. Your wife should apply for and receive both a US passport and Thai passport for the baby before returning to the US. If she has difficulty with bureaucracy you may consider either hiring someone to do this or flying back to help out.

[gunnyd]

Personally I would have rather had my children born in the US.

I really feel like I missed out not being allowed to attend my wife's birth. Thailand is a bit like 1950's USA where fathers first meet their little ones through a window of the hospital's nursery.

It's something that you only get one chance at...

Cost wise, Thank goodness for decent insurance.

Admittedly if my wife would have ask to be somewhere else for our child birth that's where we would have been. :whip cracks: If mama's not happy nobody's happy..

For the purpose of this post, I am leaving out the circumstances of my wife's pregnancy. The hospital took great care of our babies.

[Lopburi99]

Thai family bonds seems very strongh, this proofs it! Even her husband have to lay back for the family...

I agree with 240Z. My experience suggests when the rubber meets the road the wife's family comes first, we second. Of course not always, but often. This is good for the Thai wife, but frustrating and difficult for the farang husband.

Personally I would never accept being left out of one of (my) life's most exciting and memorable times: the birth of my child and family times together afterward. No way! If I couldn't go with them to Thailand, I would insist the birth take place in the U.S. Your wife married a farang, not a Thai! Her life changed then, everything is different now. Maybe she hasn't yet completely come to terms with that. Since you can't go, I hope your wife reconsiders and places more importance on your needs, not just her family's help. IMHO.

The very best of luck to you, your wife and future child. I hope whatever route you select works well for you, and a strong bond is maintained between the three of you.

Edited July 10, 2009 by Lopburi99

[venturalaw]

Thai family bonds seems very strongh, this proofs it! Even her husband have to lay back for the family...

I agree with 240Z. My experience is when the rubber meets the road the wife's family comes first, we second. Of course not always, but often. This is good for the Thai wife, but frustrating and difficult for the farang husband.

Personally I would never accept being left out of one of (my) life's most exciting and memorable times: the birth of my child and family times together afterward. No way! If I couldn't go with them to Thailand, I would insist the birth take place in the U.S. Your wife married a farang, not a Thai! Her life changed then, everything is different now. Maybe she hasn't yet come to terms with that. Since you can't go, I hope your wife reconsiders and places more importance on your needs, not just her family's help. IMHO.

The very best of luck to you, your wife and future child. I hope whatever route you select works well for you, and a strong bond is maintained between the three of you.

There is a very strong bond that normally exist with Thais and their family (parents, siblings). In the west we are taught to become independent in order to meet, marry and procreate thus forming our own families. It's really different for most Thais. I say most because I finally met a Thai lady that had lived on her own via going to college hundreds of kilometers from her parents, family. So, she became independent. She shares most of the western values and hence when we had our child, it was most important that I be present for the birth, not her parents. He mother came to stay with us in the beginning to get my wife up to speed in caring for a newborn, but after a couple of months, mom went back to Isaan. Everything has been great ever since.

I feel very very fortunate because she and I have so much in common regarding core values. It's unusual, but it exists.

Best of luck to the OP and congratulations.

Edited July 10, 2009 by venturalaw

[BigSnake]

Fly her mother to US. Everybody happy and propably cheaper as well.

Concur, Your child will be a U.S. Citizen by all right, over here who know, with the Laws and Governments changing every six months or so.

[venturalaw]

Fly her mother to US. Everybody happy and propably cheaper as well.

Concur, Your child will be a U.S. Citizen by all right, over here who know, with the Laws and Governments changing every six months or so.

Actually it is by U.S. law that a child born in a foreign country where at least on parent is a U.S. citizen is entitled to U.S. citizenship, and therefore is able to receive a U.S. birth certificate and passport. It has nothing at all to do with Thai law.

[Mario2008]

If you mean if the chid wil have Thai nationality, it will. Being born by a Thai parent makes one Thai, regardless of where one is born.

[venturalaw]

If you mean if the chid wil have Thai nationality, it will. Being born by a Thai parent makes one Thai, regardless of where one is born.

Fly her mother to US. Everybody happy and propably cheaper as well.

Concur, Your child will be a U.S. Citizen by all right, over here who know, with the Laws and Governments changing every six months or so.

By the highlighted quote above, I assumed the poster was concerned that a foreign-born child from U.S. citizen parent(s) may not be able to attain U.S. citizenship by virtue of the 'Government (Thailand) changing every six months or so". Of coarse a child born in Thailand will have Thai citizenship, and as stated, he/she is also eligible to acquire U.S. citizenship if one of the parents is a U.S. citizen. Additionally, if the child is born in the U.S. and one of the parents is Thai, he/she shall have Thai citizenship as well as U.S. citizenship.

[dave_boo]

Actually it is by U.S. law that a child born in a foreign country where at least on parent is a U.S. citizen is entitled to U.S. citizenship, and therefore is able to receive a U.S. birth certificate and passport. It has nothing at all to do with Thai law.

Technically it's a Certificate of Birth Abroad, not a birth certificate....

[samran]

Fly her mother to US. Everybody happy and propably cheaper as well.

Concur, Your child will be a U.S. Citizen by all right, over here who know, with the Laws and Governments changing every six months or so.

Laws change very slowly in Thailand, mainly as there is no government around long enough to change them.

citizenship laws have been pretty consistent since 1992. Changes were made in 2008, but they can only be seen as improvements as they took out clauses which discriminated on gender, and gave access to Thai citizenship to people born on Thai soil to foreign parents between 1971 and 1992.

Edited July 10, 2009 by samran

[Datsun240Z]

Thai family bonds seems very strongh, this proofs it! Even her husband have to lay back for the family...

I agree with 240Z. My experience suggests when the rubber meets the road the wife's family comes first, we second. Of course not always, but often. This is good for the Thai wife, but frustrating and difficult for the farang husband.

Personally I would never accept being left out of one of (my) life's most exciting and memorable times: the birth of my child and family times together afterward. No way! If I couldn't go with them to Thailand, I would insist the birth take place in the U.S. Your wife married a farang, not a Thai! Her life changed then, everything is different now. Maybe she hasn't yet completely come to terms with that. Since you can't go, I hope your wife reconsiders and places more importance on your needs, not just her family's help. IMHO.

The very best of luck to you, your wife and future child. I hope whatever route you select works well for you, and a strong bond is maintained between the three of you.

But what will happen if the OP refuses to let her go to the family? I think this will cause problems, because Thai's tend to go over death bodies to accieve their goal! So maybe it's best to let her go for a while and the OP can have some rest to.

[venturalaw]

Actually it is by U.S. law that a child born in a foreign country where at least on parent is a U.S. citizen is entitled to U.S. citizenship, and therefore is able to receive a U.S. birth certificate and passport. It has nothing at all to do with Thai law.

Technically it's a Certificate of Birth Abroad, not a birth certificate....

Technically it is a Consular Report of Birth Abroad of a Citizen of the United States of America issued by the U.S. Department of State.

[Lopburi99]

Thai family bonds seems very strongh, this proofs it! Even her husband have to lay back for the family...

I agree with 240Z. My experience suggests when the rubber meets the road the wife's family comes first, we second. Of course not always, but often. This is good for the Thai wife, but frustrating and difficult for the farang husband.

Personally I would never accept being left out of one of (my) life's most exciting and memorable times: the birth of my child and family times together afterward. No way! If I couldn't go with them to Thailand, I would insist the birth take place in the U.S. Your wife married a farang, not a Thai! Her life changed then, everything is different now. Maybe she hasn't yet completely come to terms with that. Since you can't go, I hope your wife reconsiders and places more importance on your needs, not just her family's help. IMHO.

The very best of luck to you, your wife and future child. I hope whatever route you select works well for you, and a strong bond is maintained between the three of you.

But what will happen if the OP refuses to let her go to the family? I think this will cause problems, because Thai's tend to go over death bodies to accieve their goal! So maybe it's best to let her go for a while and the OP can have some rest to.

Maybe, but I don't think the OP is concerned about getting some rest.

Everybody is different. We don't know many things, the strength of their relationship, other possible areas of friction/conflict, what their long term plans are, etc. etc. so it is not possible to say what we would do if in the OPs shoes. Fact of the matter is they already have a problem I would suggest, maybe a big one. Not being with your wife for the birth of your baby is a BIG deal. At least I think so. But like somebody said military men often do not witness their child's birth, so if the OP can get in a similar frame of mind then that would work for him.

This is a touchy subject for me now, because my wife's family is also making problems for me (and her) by making various demands on her. Sorry, but if a power play is in their plans, the family will lose. No way the family is going to control my life. Thank God I am not in a similar position as the OP, with a baby coming. At least now I know I have the option of ultimately hopping on a bus, although it would break my heart to do so.

Again, I hope the very best to the OP but I doubt he deserves to be in this fix. But then again there is so much we do not know about them and their situation - especially what the OP's wife expectations were/are of her farang husband and what his expectations were/are of his Thai wife.

I'd sure like to hear what some of the TV women, (like eek, sbc and GirlX) think.

Edited July 10, 2009 by Lopburi99

[Lopburi99]

...

I feel much better about her having the baby here and then going to Thailand a month after the birth. I can go with her for a few weeks and let her stay for an additional month after I come home. This will give her and the baby time to spend with her family but won't deprive me of my right to be a father. I don't want to be selfish, but this is my child too.

...

Sounds like a very reasonable and generous compromise on your part to me. I hope your wife will ultimately grant this to you. Good luck!

(typo in my previous post. Meant sbk not sbc)

Edited July 10, 2009 by Lopburi99

[venturalaw]

...

I feel much better about her having the baby here and then going to Thailand a month after the birth. I can go with her for a few weeks and let her stay for an additional month after I come home. This will give her and the baby time to spend with her family but won't deprive me of my right to be a father. I don't want to be selfish, but this is my child too.

...

Sounds like a very reasonable and generous compromise on your part to me. I hope your wife will ultimately grant this to you. Good luck!

(typo in my previous post. Meant sbk not sbc)

As I hear so often here - "Up to you." But, I wouldn't be away from my baby for any extended period of time unless it was absolutely unavoidable. They change virtually daily. It's really amazing and you don't want to miss any of it.

[johnnymoretti]

...

I feel much better about her having the baby here and then going to Thailand a month after the birth. I can go with her for a few weeks and let her stay for an additional month after I come home. This will give her and the baby time to spend with her family but won't deprive me of my right to be a father. I don't want to be selfish, but this is my child too.

...

I commend your willingness to comprimise. Shows good character and solid relationship!

Here's what we did (baby was born just 8 days ago).

My wife flew back to Bangkok from San Francisco at the end of her 31st week of pregnancy. We got doctor's letter to allow her to fly, just in case the airline needed it. Most airlines won't allow you to fly pregnant after 32 weeks without letter from OB. This gave my wife two months before due date to settle in, find a new doctor and be with family.

I was still working, and left for Thailand one month later. Now we were both in Thailand one month before due date. Thankfully, my employer allowed me to leave understanding the circumstances and cost-savings for us to have her in Thailand. Baby was born one week early!

We rented a serviced apartment near the hospital. We return to the US late August just to be sure baby is fine and healthy before the long haul home. In the meantime, all my wife's friends and family visit and get their fill, too.

As a traditional father from the US, I couldn't bear not being with my newborn and wife. Bonding is soooooo important in the beginning weeks and months. If you are not there for over a day, you will drive yourself crazy! And possibly resentful.

Either get time away from work and suck it up, or allow her to go alone and NEVER hold it against her!

Good luck and congrats on new baby!!

BTW: Its never a selfish act to want to be with your child. For any reason.

[venturalaw]

...

I feel much better about her having the baby here and then going to Thailand a month after the birth. I can go with her for a few weeks and let her stay for an additional month after I come home. This will give her and the baby time to spend with her family but won't deprive me of my right to be a father. I don't want to be selfish, but this is my child too.

...

Good luck and congrats on new baby!!

BTW: Its never a selfish act to want to be with your child. For any reason.

Yes, good luck and congrats.

Not only is it never a selfish act to want to be with your child, it is actually selfish if you are NOT with your child. Your child always needs you. Always.