The Smaller Scams That Lead To The Bigger Distrust In Relationships.

[samuibeachcomber]

..............

If you think scamming is the sole domain of bar girls,think again

Like I said - I have never been scammed/victim of an attempted scam by my wife.

Furthermore I have never been scammed/victim of an attempted scam by her family, close relatives, distant relatives, friends of the family, their work colleagues or any other Thai people that I mix with in any type of social setting.

If you find yourself being scammed by your wife/gf, their families & their friends I would suggest that you have made a very poor choice of partner & maybe when they have fleeced you of every last baht, you will choose your next partner with a lot more care.

i would suggest to you just because up to now you are squeeky clean from all this does not mean it wont happen to you in the future.my advice to you is never say never.it would appear you live up to your name.

[G54]

Surely if a man is helping a Thai lady out, if a man is paying the rent, the electric, food, nights out and such, we could or should expect some honesty in return from our girlfriends?

Your paying to have a Thai g/f and you "expect some honesty"???

There might be a few things you'd expect to get out of that situation; honesty aint one of them.

That does not say I am paying to have a Thai g/f. It says I am paying the electric, rent etc. and that would be in the house where I live that she moved into. Paying for nights out in restaurants etc, isn't that the normal thing to do with a g/f ??

Helping out would be buying the milk.

Other time was when I lived at a ladies house. Her house. I paid the electric and water etc there too. Seemed fair enough to me.

But it is also about more than ladies, as I stated in the original post.

Had a male friend who seemed Ok but I was not certain about. Knew him 6 months or so. Anyway, he took me to the airport in my motor. He got paid by me for taking time off work to do so. That was fair in my mind.

He offered to pick me up when I got back. So I left him my ATM card. Not much in the account. 5k Baht or so. Enough to get the petrol for him to pick me up from the airport and have maybe 3500 left.

When I went to the ATM it was empty. Account suspended.

Again, it is not the amount of money - which is a small amount, but the trust factor.

The point of the post being the way trust is eroded. Makes you wary of others and cynical and distrusting.

[G54]

Ive never been scammed. But Im not an old man that needs to buy my "friends". Look... if you are old and want to sleep with young women you must pay, pretty simple really. If you are being scammed by people that you are not sleeping with than why is that happening? If someone asks me for money for ANYTHING, my response is immediately no, unless its like my best friend (can't see how that would be a Thai person but anything is possible I guess).

G54, if non lovers are asking for money why would you even consider it? Are you the saviour of Thailand and all its poor people?

"The money had to be paid the following morning at 9 a.m. The lady in question needed 'help'. Help being the operative word."

Well, in that instance I was expecting to be asked to help towards the 9k. Not pay the lot. Yes, I was considering helping out, that is not the same as '9k now' demand that I refused.

[G54]

I am sure many of us here have been scammed by our g/f / partners and maybe we do not know about it.

No - never.

I think that you need to be a bit more discerning in the way you choose your partners.

Alternatively, try another country as your recent posts have shown you suffer from a severe lack of judgement when selecting Thais as friends.

Nor I.

no scam stories from me. i dont intend to marry bargirls.

Bar girls?? it does say in bold as you highlighted, g/f or partners. So, what bar girls? I have never yet dated a bar girl. These are ladies (sorry GH) that work in shops, markets etc. In a provincial town.

And I sincerely believe that many of these ladies are every bit as well versed in ways to scam as that other type of lady (sorry GH) you mention.

A woman said, today, 'It is the Pattaya effect. Spreads outwards.'

[Oberkommando]

Problem is a lot of foreigners just don't know they have been or are being scammed. That's why the prominent ones aimed at foreigners are so successful (gem scam, Erawan Shrine scam etc, etc, etc).

Ignorance is bliss, for some. The sting comes later however.

25 years in Thailand and I don't trust any Thais.

Served me well in my time.

And when I say I don't trust that doesn't imply dishonesty only, [OP does not trust Thais to] do a job or finish a task properly either.

Edited April 21, 2009 by Sheryl
anti-Thai generalization deleted by Mioderator

[G54]

On the milk thing....

I've got a three year old and he gets through 3 or 4 big boxes of milk each month. Depends on the kid...

Really?

And I am not looking to call you a liar or cause a problem.

When I first mentioned it to a friend, in passing as we were talking about a variety of subjects, she was gobsmacked at 4 boxes a month for a 2 year old. After I thought about it and recalled an English friend with a baby same age, his Thai g/f told me there was no way a 2 year old was going to to drink that much milk. As well as solid foods they have water and juice. Whereas a 4 month old might drink 4 boxes of milk.

[G54]

Another one.

Yesterday I discover how much milk a 2 year old baby drinks - on average - in a month. Now I understand I was being scammed again.

Due to having a lot of aggravation going on in the background at this particular time, I did not even consider how much milk a 2 year old would consume in a week, never mind in a month.

I went to the shops with the lady in question and I paid for the milk. No problem 750 Baht a box (big box). Next week was the same. Every Monday for maybe 3 months. 4 large boxes of milk a month at 750 Baht each.

Now I discover a 2 year old will consume about 1 box a month. Not 4.

Begs the question of what was happening to the other 3 boxes.

To my mind, they were being sold on. No way was the baby drinking that much. So this small scam netted her nearly 3,000 Baht a month.

If it had not been for a chance conversation, I would never even have thought I was being scammed over the milk.

It's not 100% that this woman was scamming you. All kids are different. My daughter is 20 months now (not far off 2) and still drinks about a box of 1+ milk in maybe a week. It would also depend on how big the boxes are as well. The milk we get is about 900g per tub.

Twin boxes. 850g per box. so 1700 g a week.

[G54]

Well, out of 6 g/f that started out wanting nothing, 4 of those have ended up working some sort of scam after 3 months or so.

Now, that may well be my fault entirely.

Maybe because I am happy to hand over phone cards, buy clothes, take them out, make no financial demands on them from their wages.

They would never get a house or car out of me and I tell them that.

Come to think of it, these things often start along the lines of, 'Mother wants to know when we will marry and how much you will give.'

Or, 'Mother says if you give 6 Baht gold, I can live you same same wife.'

Naturally, I refuse. Tell them straight I will not buy a wife. LOL, now I see a pattern developing here, in retrospect. Maybe that is why this starts? I do not know.

[MidoriApple]

one of the greatest scams I ever heard about was a mates g/f who stayed in his condo when he was back in U.K who decided to go out in her gold and visit royal garden plaza pattaya in the daytime, she came to my office crying as I was working over the road saying that she had woken up on one of the benches with no gold when she calmed down she said someone approached her and asked her to smell a bottle and she did not remember anything else, when I said to her that I know the security company whe operates there and lets go speak to them she became all shy and angry and accused me of not believing her

what was even worse was my then mate when I explained it all to him got even more short with me and accused me of jealousy towards his relationship

they really suit each other and are still married and living in U.K, her brother has just finished school in Korat and is now going to University so she has done well and so has the brother, he didn't buy her any more thai gold but treated her to a rolex watch and a gucci bag at bkk airport I got told....I see where she was brought up and have to say a rolex watch and gucci bag go really well down the local shop that sells chang beer and mama noodles

Her stolen (or take away) gold can be true, I heard of this kinda same story sometimes and once from my staff's real story

But I don't understand how come she had to talk this to you.. what for? why didn't she go to report this to police?

I guess it also scam to you... asking for money..

As reading, I feel it is so scary for foreigners to live here in LOS..

Really ashamed... but I am not smart enough to solve this... Thai girls and the deceiving.. (Let our PM helps you..haha..)

You guys, must be more stronger, try not to easily surrender to Thai girls' beauty.. also the poverty..

Thailand is agricultural country..no way to be starving.. Poor Thai can be fine if they will not spend the money with materialistic stuffs..

[CharlieB]

Another one.

Yesterday I discover how much milk a 2 year old baby drinks - on average - in a month. Now I understand I was being scammed again.

Due to having a lot of aggravation going on in the background at this particular time, I did not even consider how much milk a 2 year old would consume in a week, never mind in a month.

I went to the shops with the lady in question and I paid for the milk. No problem 750 Baht a box (big box). Next week was the same. Every Monday for maybe 3 months. 4 large boxes of milk a month at 750 Baht each.

Now I discover a 2 year old will consume about 1 box a month. Not 4.

Begs the question of what was happening to the other 3 boxes.

To my mind, they were being sold on. No way was the baby drinking that much. So this small scam netted her nearly 3,000 Baht a month.

If it had not been for a chance conversation, I would never even have thought I was being scammed over the milk.

It's not 100% that this woman was scamming you. All kids are different. My daughter is 20 months now (not far off 2) and still drinks about a box of 1+ milk in maybe a week. It would also depend on how big the boxes are as well. The milk we get is about 900g per tub.

Twin boxes. 850g per box. so 1700 g a week.

She's either:

i) Scamming you for a stupidly small bit of cash. ie the kid gets through 2 boxes a month and she sells the others 2 on for maybe 3 or 4 hundred baht each to someone else in the area.

ii) Not feeding the kid anything else and he's drinking so much due to no other source of food.

iii) Got a very hungry kid.

[LooseCannon]

i would suggest to you just because up to now you are squeeky clean from all this does not mean it wont happen to you in the future.my advice to you is never say never.it would appear you live up to your name.

You seem to have made some very poor decisions in your life that have resulted in you being surrounded by people that want to scam you. I am sure you know exactly what needs to be done to rectify your situation.

[GuestHouse]

one of the greatest scams I ever heard about was a mates g/f who stayed in his condo..............and angry and accused me of not believing her

what was even worse was my then mate when I explained it all to him got even more short with me and accused me of jealousy towards his relationship

they really suit each other and are still married and living in U.K, her brother has just finished school in Korat and is now going to University so she has done well and so has the brother, he didn't buy her any more thai gold but treated her to a rolex watch and a gucci bag at bkk airport I got told....I see where she was brought up and have to say a rolex watch and gucci bag go really well down the local shop that sells chang beer and mama noodles

I can't immagine for one moment why he thought he saw the little green demon of spite and envy in you!!

[BigSnake]

Oh the land of smiles, just keep in mind that behind all those smiles LURK some evil evil Scammers> Beware all.

[phutoie2]

We have a neighbour who is with a Brit who works in Europe and only visits a few times each year. Last year his brother and Thai wife and young child came over from UK for a visit and stayed in their nice house.

When he moved on after a week she asked him for 5000 Baht for 'rent' and not tell your 'brother'. Well he may have not but his wife certainly told everyone in the Moo.

[dragonfly94]

.

Things you describe are pretty typical and happen all the time. What makes me laugh are the guys who think their wife/GF is not like that. I know a guy whose wife rips him off on a daily basis but he just cannot see it. Recently the bitch found some locals in banock to cut up some of their wood which was going to take about two weeks. She 'knocked them down' to 100,000 baht, funny how this round number seems to apply to so many things. My friend thinks he got a good deal, not bad pay back home never mind in Buri Ram My wife does this sort of thing a lot but at least I know and it's normally only a few baht. Of course the biggest scam is sin sod and it goes on from there.

[keithlee]

Well, out of 6 g/f that started out wanting nothing, 4 of those have ended up working some sort of scam after 3 months or so.

Now, that may well be my fault entirely.

Maybe because I am happy to hand over phone cards, buy clothes, take them out, make no financial demands on them from their wages.

They would never get a house or car out of me and I tell them that.

Come to think of it, these things often start along the lines of, 'Mother wants to know when we will marry and how much you will give.'

Or, 'Mother says if you give 6 Baht gold, I can live you same same wife.'

Naturally, I refuse. Tell them straight I will not buy a wife. LOL, now I see a pattern developing here, in retrospect. Maybe that is why this starts? I do not know.

quite a large sample here. 4 out of 6 wanted money and took time for it to show!

god help you guys who think its all bout lub! age difference is first clue!

Edited April 21, 2009 by Sheryl
offensive to Thai women

[a2396]

Well, out of 6 g/f that started out wanting nothing, 4 of those have ended up working some sort of scam after 3 months or so.

Now, that may well be my fault entirely.

Maybe because I am happy to hand over phone cards, buy clothes, take them out, make no financial demands on them from their wages.

They would never get a house or car out of me and I tell them that.

Come to think of it, these things often start along the lines of, 'Mother wants to know when we will marry and how much you will give.'

Or, 'Mother says if you give 6 Baht gold, I can live you same same wife.'

Naturally, I refuse. Tell them straight I will not buy a wife. LOL, now I see a pattern developing here, in retrospect. Maybe that is why this starts? I do not know.

For sure it's a pattern. The best you can usually do is to minimize the money demands and reach some sort of agreement on the limits of what you will give and what she will give you in return. My current lady is a part-timer for xx bht per mo. She says she has no interest in marriage. I ahve met her mother & another family member a couple of times. She is quite an unusual woman in many ways, but quite frustrating, because I would like a more invilved relationship with her and cannot get it & unlikely money (or not enough of it) is really the problem.

[keithlee]

mr a

where are you meeting your girlfriends?

[qualtrough]

If you keep getting ripped off by Thais you are hanging out with the wrong crowd. While Thailand contains its fair share of dishonest people, I don't think it is any greater than elsewhere, and a far cry better than many places. I cannot count the number of times Thais have returned things I have forgotten or lost, or picked up money that has dropped out of my pocket in public (I don't use a wallet and its drives my wife crazy). I could not count the number of times people have told me that a bill is about to fall out of my pocket too. One of the more honest peoples in my opinion. While saying all that, I know my experience would be very much different if I lived in some tourist trap area or married a less-then trustworthy partner. But extrapolating from those experiences to say that 'All Thais' are x and x is just stupid. If your wallet gets stolen back home is your first conclusion that all your countrymen are thieves? I doubt it.

P.S. This now marks the second time that I am in complete agreement with Guesthouse (re Ladies). Stop it, please!

[Geekfreaklover]

Genrally in Asia / Thailand you have to have you wits about you more so than in Europe. There is basically two types of scam / confidence tricks.

1) The short con - Example - Tuk tuk driver taking you to gem stores, tailors etc Over priced services.

2) The long con - Example -Marriage to someone who is looking to buy land and house cars etc and then dumping the partner once the funds begin to dry up.

Most farangs fall for the long con, which the Thais are excellent at carrying out.

That said there many farang confidence tricksters in Thailand - normally they have been tricked themselves in the past so they know how to do it, Kind of like the abused becomes the abuser.

Scams are very common here.

GFL

[keithlee]

many a thai wonders if farang education is lacking. they say only fools fall for their simple minded scams over and over and over again

[Sheryl]

A number of posts have been edited to remove generalized slurs against Thais or quotes that included them. Some flaming retorts to same have also been removed.

readers are reminded of forum rules:

7) Not to post slurs or degrading comments directed towards any group on the basis of race, nationality, religion, gender or sexual orientation.

8) Not to post extremely negative views of Thailand or derogatory comments directed towards all Thais

and those angered by seeing these rules violated are requested to kindly use the "report"function and let the Mods deal with it rather than posting angry retorts of their own.

Now stepping out of my Moderator role for a second, may I add an observation: Thailand is a very hierarchal society in which people from very different social classes do not have egalitaruian friendships. Relationships between people of different classes are governed by very well understood rules and reciprocal obligations. I'm not defending this system, just describing it.

Westerners often breach these systems, trying to establish friendhsips across class lines in a manner which just does not fit within the societal rules. Chaos, confusion and what to us constitutes scamming behavior often follows.

I am not saying that one has to emulate the behavior of middle/upper class Thais. This would go against many of our natures and values. But do be aware of how things work here and cautious about the signals you send, and how the "rules of engagement" mat be perceived (or nor perceived) in relationships with Thais of significantly lower socio-economic status than oneself.

In over 2 decades of living here I have noticed that a common mistake made both by westerners and by Thais when dealing with westerners is to assume, upon seeing that the rules one is accustomed to are not being applied, that there are no rules. When a westerner whose socioeconomic status is higher breaks the rules by establishing a friendship, sometimes all that is perceived is that "the rules"have been broken, which to some people signals a free-for-all. That the westerner in fact has rules/expectations may not be understood at all. Or, in an effort to frame the relationship in terms that are understandable, they may decode that the relationship is one of benefactor/patron to beneficee -- because the equal relationship you had in mind just doesn't translate in this cultural context.

[thailandlover]

At last, a sensible post. Thank you, Sheryl, for explaining in a cultural context what many foreigners seem to fail to understand.

[offset]

Yes I have been scammed by a bar girl most of the time I knew it was going on but when it became to much we split and I went with her friend also a bar girl after being with my GF for 2 months I found out the she has been scammed by he friend as well and she has not spoken to her for 18 months I do not know if I am being scammed by my GF but if I am she is being very clever and I have not spotted it but what I do know that she as saved me a lot of money in other ways. We still go to her old bars and yes there are a lot of men being scammed but there are a few honest ladies in the bars as well just to add I was warned about the first lady by the Mama son and she had nothing bad to say about my GF of over 20 months

[keithlee]

good to know there are good bargirls around.

[Shotime]

Ive never been scammed. But Im not an old man that needs to buy my "friends". Look... if you are old and want to sleep with young women you must pay, pretty simple really. If you are being scammed by people that you are not sleeping with than why is that happening? If someone asks me for money for ANYTHING, my response is immediately no, unless its like my best friend (can't see how that would be a Thai person but anything is possible I guess).

G54, if non lovers are asking for money why would you even consider it? Are you the saviour of Thailand and all its poor people?

Why do people put so much value on money? Especially as a measure of trust? Whether they're lovers or not, is money the ultimate test of trust? My daughter plays me constantly. I tell her she plays me just like a working girl. She replied, "Dad, I'm allowed to play you cause I'm your daughter." I love that girl.

What does age have to do with anything related to being played? If you pay for sex, you pay for sex, or pay them to leave after the sex. If you're with a "lady," and she doesn't request favors once in awhile, you're with a monkey. However, there was a thread about monkeys feeding their number 1 the most and best portions of the food he gets. The monkey was the same age as his number 1.

I can't say I've never been scammed. However, at least I know when I'm being scammed. Sometimes I don't care. It's worth it.

There's another monkey who says he's married (I assume to a Thai), but never been scammed. Some people just don't know when they're being scammed.

[ALFREDO]

-LooseCannon-

I suggest, it could be, your Gf, Wife, family, whoever, scam you so well, that you not even notice it,

or you to blue eyed or looking with pink glasses and believe everything you get told.

Why can that not be possible? Who knows it all and everything? Really you? Your name Mr.X-ray and Mr. GOHOK detector?

[keithlee]

what kind of father compoares his daughter to a prostitute..........

[dragonfly94]

In over 2 decades of living here I have noticed that a common mistake made both by westerners and by Thais when dealing with westerners is to assume, upon seeing that the rules one is accustomed to are not being applied, that there are no rules. When a westerner whose socioeconomic status is higher breaks the rules by establishing a friendship, sometimes all that is perceived is that "the rules"have been broken, which to some people signals a free-for-all. That the westerner in fact has rules/expectations may not be understood at all. Or, in an effort to frame the relationship in terms that are understandable, they may decode that the relationship is one of benefactor/patron to beneficee -- because the equal relationship you had in mind just doesn't translate in this cultural context.

It might be the drink but I have read this four times and it still makes no sense. Why are people always stating how long they have been here? do they think it gives their opinion more value than somebody who has been here a couple of years, from what I have read on here not as often as it should.

[offset]

what kind of father compoares his daughter to a prostitute..........

Why do you think it is only prositutes that scam