How Close Are You To Packing It All In

[Datsun240Z]

I ain't packing it in, no chance. Been here 6 years and i'm just getting started. My reading and written Thai is up to Prathom Level 2 now, so i still have a long way to go before i can understand as much as i want to. But i do think that is one important thing that most people coming to live here don't take into enough consideration - to learn about the language and culture, and to accept it for what it is and try to respect it too. You might find more enjoyment by embracing it than shunning it. Anti-farang sentiment??? Yeah maybe if you're a p+*ck you'll get that, but not cos you're farang, just cos you're a p+*ck......

I agree, I had never had any problems with the Thai people. If you respect them, they respect you. But I also think, the whining from the farangs is difficult to stop, it's just something that is printed in our culture, even I have difficulties with it, but I have to slap myself on the head ( expression ) to not do it, everytime I feel I want to.

[Datsun240Z]

I'll be working offshore 6 mths on 6 off, and need somewhere to stay for a couple of years so i dont have to pay UK tax, it was going to be LOS, but now im looking into the possibility of Singapore.

Reasons being Thai women arent what theyre cracked up to be, the only ones available to most Farang are whores, freelancers or girls that think i'm going to sponsor their shopping activities so they can look HISO to their peers, and im of an age where i need to think about settling down. I dont wish to be hassled when walking down a street all the time, most of BKK is out of bounds as i cant speak the language so i end up going to the same tourist trap places that are full of undesireables. And as the OP said the undertone of feeling i get that farangs are resented and not wanted here.

Wow, what a poor experience of Thailand you must have had. If you have only been to the tourist traps, I can understand why you might think this, but you are truly wrong.

I totally agree... Some of my best experiences in Thailand have been in the "back streets" of BKK, I have never felt unsafe walking about & have always been treated well by all Thai's. I love finding places far off the beaten track of general "tourist traps"... One of my favorite places to stay in a Village, near Thali Noi in Songkla Province, where "whities" very rarely venture... I will be heading there for my forth visit next week & know I will be welcomed by the villagers (Rice farmers, mostly)... hard working "down to earth" people... My decision to retire & move to Thailand was a result of several trips I had made here.

I spend more time with Thai's than the "farangs" who seem to think sitting in the bar all day, is all there is about life... they are really missing out on soooo many great things you can find & do without bar hopping & woman hunting in a bar!...

Yup Love the countryside to, very easy minded folks.

I remember last year, was waling in some sub urb of Bangkok, went into an 7-11 to grab a beer. Some local workers came in grabbed a beer to, so we both had a laugh at it !

Edited July 9, 2009 by Datsun240Z

[G54]

Plus of course, the embarrassment of knowing that anyone who marries a Thai woman will be thought of as marrying a hooker!

This image is now ruining my relationship with my Thai girlfriend, thanks to my discriminating parents. It was a disaster since I decided to took her to The Netherlands. I decided to keep it quite, can't fight my parents. I will work a while to get money, and get the heck out of here. Yes, it's nice to have an advanced economy here, but there's no love anymore. It's only greed here. What's life worth if you need 300k euro for a small house to buy, and even need a loan for the freaking car? Work yourself to death until 67 and hopefully " retire " happily.

Same in the UK, sadly. My son cannot afford to buy a house and has to settle for renting one at £450 a month. He goes a bit green around the gills when he knows what I am paying here 3k Baht a month.

At least I would not discriminate against him with a Thai or any other woman for that matter.

Strange though. I always thought of the Dutch as being relatively liberal minded regarding race ( except for a neighbouring country ) Obviously not everyone thinks the same though.

[Datsun240Z]

Plus of course, the embarrassment of knowing that anyone who marries a Thai woman will be thought of as marrying a hooker!

This image is now ruining my relationship with my Thai girlfriend, thanks to my discriminating parents. It was a disaster since I decided to took her to The Netherlands. I decided to keep it quite, can't fight my parents. I will work a while to get money, and get the heck out of here. Yes, it's nice to have an advanced economy here, but there's no love anymore. It's only greed here. What's life worth if you need 300k euro for a small house to buy, and even need a loan for the freaking car? Work yourself to death until 67 and hopefully " retire " happily.

Same in the UK, sadly. My son cannot afford to buy a house and has to settle for renting one at £450 a month. He goes a bit green around the gills when he knows what I am paying here 3k Baht a month.

At least I would not discriminate against him with a Thai or any other woman for that matter.

Strange though. I always thought of the Dutch as being relatively liberal minded regarding race ( except for a neighbouring country ) Obviously not everyone thinks the same though.

That is starting to change slowely Offcourse I'm not "normal" because in their eyes I'm going to a 3rd World country, while I have " everything " here.

[mauGR1]

After reading all the sad posts above,i've decided to pack my bag.

Straight to BKK next months to get some fresh air.

And then back to Koh Chang again.

[norwayeagle]

With all the current uncertainties: poor exchange rates, rising prices, high crime, anti farang centiment, police shakedowns, road chaos, poor service, agressive Thais, constant change in visa regs, uncertainty if you have any rights to your house - even if you bought it in your wifes name, etc. etc. etc. - - - -

Are you close to throwing in the towel?

Hehe All this i knew.The "disease" was also in Thailand (farang disease) Spread all over the world.The worst disease EVER!So what 2do? well i hang my "towel" up 2 dry,and next morning its ready 2 use.

"Wiiining" wont make anything better.That is so 4 sure.

[henryalleman]

I'll be working offshore 6 mths on 6 off, and need somewhere to stay for a couple of years so i dont have to pay UK tax, it was going to be LOS, but now im looking into the possibility of Singapore.

Reasons being Thai women arent what theyre cracked up to be, the only ones available to most Farang are whores, freelancers or girls that think i'm going to sponsor their shopping activities so they can look HISO to their peers, and im of an age where i need to think about settling down. I dont wish to be hassled when walking down a street all the time, most of BKK is out of bounds as i cant speak the language so i end up going to the same tourist trap places that are full of undesireables. And as the OP said the undertone of feeling i get that farangs are resented and not wanted here.

Wow, what a poor experience of Thailand you must have had. If you have only been to the tourist traps, I can understand why you might think this, but you are truly wrong.

indeed hes completely wrong, maybe he spend to much of his time in soi cowboy, Nana, Patpong, or some other hangout places for losers

[henryalleman]

But I have to admit that when I go to places where aren't many foreigners, the locals are much more friendly.

How come?

Could it be the attitude of some of them

[henryalleman]

Not just yet but I am slowly looking at other places, like Malaysia, for when it's time to move on. I can't see myself living here for the rest of my life, but one never knows where the road is going to take him tomorrow, so I suppose it's all up in the air anyway.

i really don't understand that someone can live in a Muslim country, even in Malaysia where human rights are a mockery.

[cyborg22]

Plus of course, the embarrassment of knowing that anyone who marries a Thai woman will be thought of as marrying a hooker!

This image is now ruining my relationship with my Thai girlfriend, thanks to my discriminating parents. It was a disaster since I decided to took her to The Netherlands. I decided to keep it quite, can't fight my parents. I will work a while to get money, and get the heck out of here. Yes, it's nice to have an advanced economy here, but there's no love anymore. It's only greed here. What's life worth if you need 300k euro for a small house to buy, and even need a loan for the freaking car? Work yourself to death until 67 and hopefully " retire " happily.

I have a friend from holland he is 55 and married a Thai woman 3 years his junior.

She looks so much younger than her years that you would have to look at her passport to believe her age.

He used to frequent chatrooms before he was married and just at the mention that he had a thai girlfriend, gave rise to alsorts of comments. You sure it's not a ladyboy? May be ur gay and like them like that. Hey get her checked out she has most likely had more c...ks than you have had hot dinners. Or f...k off pedo crawl back under your stone.

This is the sort of thing that will destroy Thailand for all of those that do not really know her.

In some respects also ruin the lives of people who know and love her

[johnwills]

A lot of my friends have already gone home , mainly for financial reasons but a few were a little disillusioned with living over here and have taken the wives and children back to their home countries. I think the biggest gripe I hear is that people don't feel secure here, eg. cannot own a house, not easy to work, don't feel part of society (little protection from the law) etc.

I have had a few conversations recently with people and their biggest problem is finding something to do to fill their time, can be a tricky one, but I think there are worse problems to have.

[slipperx]

Having been here 12 years, now with a family of three kids, I don't think I will be packing it in any time soon. There are many issues here. Security and general anti-foreigner laws and practices are probably the biggest issues for me. Many Thais are charming and many are not. Thais are xenophobic and that is hardly surprising given the society here and slew of laws and practices that discriminate against foreigners - the infection spreads down from the highest levels despite being contradictory to the Thai constitution which demands no discrimination. Strange since there is clear discrimination in law against Thai women and also against foreigners but anyway such is Thailand. One has to come to accept the Asian ways which are self-preservation and care of close family first before considerations for a partner. That seems to me the general way of things whether a Thai-Thai or Thai-Farang relationship - though most farangs have far more to lose from such behaviour given they are on average richer.

Thailand is not paradise but neither is it hel_l. It is not for everyone but if you can learn to live with its deficiencies, sense of insecurity and accept that you will always be second class to the Thais then life can be pleasant. There are plenty of reasons to go and plenty of reasons to stay and I am not so sure anywhere else would be much better - just different issues and problems. This is home to my three children and my wife so my plan is to stay and hope in some small way to make the country a better place in the future - of course I recognise that one day Thailand may not tolerate me here anymore family or not but I will cross that bridge when I get to it.

[sk1max]

With all the current uncertainties: poor exchange rates, rising prices, high crime, anti farang centiment, police shakedowns, road chaos, poor service, agressive Thais, constant change in visa regs, uncertainty if you have any rights to your house - even if you bought it in your wifes name, etc. etc. etc. - - - -

Are you close to throwing in the towel?

Compare this to any married man in any big city in the USA.

[Shah Jahan]

if your feelin a bit weary, just go ahead and trade it your 40 for two twenties. .... one can lick and the other can bob

will get your moral back into shape in no time,.

[Livinginexile]

Having been here 12 years, now with a family of three kids, I don't think I will be packing it in any time soon. There are many issues here. Security and general anti-foreigner laws and practices are probably the biggest issues for me. Many Thais are charming and many are not. Thais are xenophobic and that is hardly surprising given the society here and slew of laws and practices that discriminate against foreigners - the infection spreads down from the highest levels despite being contradictory to the Thai constitution which demands no discrimination. Strange since there is clear discrimination in law against Thai women and also against foreigners but anyway such is Thailand. One has to come to accept the Asian ways which are self-preservation and care of close family first before considerations for a partner. That seems to me the general way of things whether a Thai-Thai or Thai-Farang relationship - though most farangs have far more to lose from such behaviour given they are on average richer.

Thailand is not paradise but neither is it hel_l. It is not for everyone but if you can learn to live with its deficiencies, sense of insecurity and accept that you will always be second class to the Thais then life can be pleasant. There are plenty of reasons to go and plenty of reasons to stay and I am not so sure anywhere else would be much better - just different issues and problems. This is home to my three children and my wife so my plan is to stay and hope in some small way to make the country a better place in the future - of course I recognise that one day Thailand may not tolerate me here anymore family or not but I will cross that bridge when I get to it.

The above statement is simply not correct.

This is part of the conditioning a Thai woman will inflict on her farang partner to justify the way she treats him.

So do you feel that in Thai culture a husband and father of her children is not considered “close family”?

What a ridiculous statement. I hear this said time and time again on this forum and it is starting to bother me.

I am married to a Thai woman and she considers me and our child her closest family members, probably because she loves me and not my bank balance. She is as close to her family as any normal Thai person

Perhaps YOU are unfortunate enough to be considered an outsider in your own family but please...speak for yourself.

[barky]

A lot of my friends have already gone home , mainly for financial reasons but a few were a little disillusioned with living over here and have taken the wives and children back to their home countries. I think the biggest gripe I hear is that people don't feel secure here, eg. cannot own a house, not easy to work, don't feel part of society (little protection from the law) etc.

I have had a few conversations recently with people and their biggest problem is finding something to do to fill their time, can be a tricky one, but I think there are worse problems to have.

I'm a little caught in the middle too. If I had enough money to live in my home country as well as I do here I'd be gone!

It's a matter of economis mainly and the fact that my wife has an very important and respected job here that she might not be be able to replicate exactly to her level outside of Thailand means that for her sake as well I will do my best to live here.

The biggest problems I have here are the "gripes" you mentioned above.

It's very difficult to feel comfortable and secure when there is so much in the Thai social order and the law/law enforcement, immigration etc that is heavily stacked against westeners.

How can you feel you belong when you are constantly reminded by the system/population at large that you do not belong?

A by produuct of this is of course that it can generate the feeling of resentment and detachment in the "alien".

[norwayeagle]

Plus of course, the embarrassment of knowing that anyone who marries a Thai woman will be thought of as marrying a hooker!

This image is now ruining my relationship with my Thai girlfriend, thanks to my discriminating parents. It was a disaster since I decided to took her to The Netherlands. I decided to keep it quite, can't fight my parents. I will work a while to get money, and get the heck out of here. Yes, it's nice to have an advanced economy here, but there's no love anymore. It's only greed here. What's life worth if you need 300k euro for a small house to buy, and even need a loan for the freaking car? Work yourself to death until 67 and hopefully " retire " happily.

I have a friend from holland he is 55 and married a Thai woman 3 years his junior.

She looks so much younger than her years that you would have to look at her passport to believe her age.

He used to frequent chatrooms before he was married and just at the mention that he had a thai girlfriend, gave rise to alsorts of comments. You sure it's not a ladyboy? May be ur gay and like them like that. Hey get her checked out she has most likely had more c...ks than you have had hot dinners. Or f...k off pedo crawl back under your stone.

This is the sort of thing that will destroy Thailand for all of those that do not really know her.

In some respects also ruin the lives of people who know and love her

yezz.You said it... Good Spoken Cyborg22

[peter991]

I have visited quite a few countries in the last 9 years - I like Cambodia but nothing yet beats rural Thailand.

Peter

[doggie888888]

i really don't understand that someone can live in a Muslim country, even in Malaysia where human rights are a mockery.

Oh dear, spoken like a person with a sad case of Islamophobia. Obvioulsy many people can and do live in a Muslim country by choice. Sure there are human rights issues in Malaysia, same like there are in Thailand (rohingya, burmese, hmong) and even, dare I say it, in USA (guantanamo) and Europe (gypsies, muslim minority). So I wonder what is really driving your inability to understand how someone can live in a muslim country, becasue it surely isn't human rights alone.

[norwayeagle]

i really don't understand that someone can live in a Muslim country, even in Malaysia where human rights are a mockery.

Oh dear, spoken like a person with a sad case of Islamophobia. Obvioulsy many people can and do live in a Muslim country by choice. Sure there are human rights issues in Malaysia, same like there are in Thailand (rohingya, burmese, hmong) and even, dare I say it, in USA (guantanamo) and Europe (gypsies, muslim minority). So I wonder what is really driving your inability to understand how someone can live in a muslim country, becasue it surely isn't human rights alone.

Muslims are not Bad people!

[pampal]

I never put all my eggs in one basket, whatever I have in Thailand I can stand to lose.

[norwayeagle]

I never put all my eggs in one basket, whatever I have in Thailand I can stand to lose.

Yes same same,but to loose my Teerak and friends that would b teardropping

[Datsun240Z]

Plus of course, the embarrassment of knowing that anyone who marries a Thai woman will be thought of as marrying a hooker!

This image is now ruining my relationship with my Thai girlfriend, thanks to my discriminating parents. It was a disaster since I decided to took her to The Netherlands. I decided to keep it quite, can't fight my parents. I will work a while to get money, and get the heck out of here. Yes, it's nice to have an advanced economy here, but there's no love anymore. It's only greed here. What's life worth if you need 300k euro for a small house to buy, and even need a loan for the freaking car? Work yourself to death until 67 and hopefully " retire " happily.

I have a friend from holland he is 55 and married a Thai woman 3 years his junior.

She looks so much younger than her years that you would have to look at her passport to believe her age.

He used to frequent chatrooms before he was married and just at the mention that he had a thai girlfriend, gave rise to alsorts of comments. You sure it's not a ladyboy? May be ur gay and like them like that. Hey get her checked out she has most likely had more c...ks than you have had hot dinners. Or f...k off pedo crawl back under your stone.

This is the sort of thing that will destroy Thailand for all of those that do not really know her.

In some respects also ruin the lives of people who know and love her

what are you talking about my friend?

[Datsun240Z]

Having been here 12 years, now with a family of three kids, I don't think I will be packing it in any time soon. There are many issues here. Security and general anti-foreigner laws and practices are probably the biggest issues for me. Many Thais are charming and many are not. Thais are xenophobic and that is hardly surprising given the society here and slew of laws and practices that discriminate against foreigners - the infection spreads down from the highest levels despite being contradictory to the Thai constitution which demands no discrimination. Strange since there is clear discrimination in law against Thai women and also against foreigners but anyway such is Thailand. One has to come to accept the Asian ways which are self-preservation and care of close family first before considerations for a partner. That seems to me the general way of things whether a Thai-Thai or Thai-Farang relationship - though most farangs have far more to lose from such behaviour given they are on average richer.

Thailand is not paradise but neither is it hel_l. It is not for everyone but if you can learn to live with its deficiencies, sense of insecurity and accept that you will always be second class to the Thais then life can be pleasant. There are plenty of reasons to go and plenty of reasons to stay and I am not so sure anywhere else would be much better - just different issues and problems. This is home to my three children and my wife so my plan is to stay and hope in some small way to make the country a better place in the future - of course I recognise that one day Thailand may not tolerate me here anymore family or not but I will cross that bridge when I get to it.

The above statement is simply not correct.

This is part of the conditioning a Thai woman will inflict on her farang partner to justify the way she treats him.

So do you feel that in Thai culture a husband and father of her children is not considered "close family"?

What a ridiculous statement. I hear this said time and time again on this forum and it is starting to bother me.

I am married to a Thai woman and she considers me and our child her closest family members, probably because she loves me and not my bank balance. She is as close to her family as any normal Thai person

Perhaps YOU are unfortunate enough to be considered an outsider in your own family but please...speak for yourself.

Than you are lucky one, but livinginexile has some good point there, which is very true in general.

[norwayeagle]

Plus of course, the embarrassment of knowing that anyone who marries a Thai woman will be thought of as marrying a hooker!

This image is now ruining my relationship with my Thai girlfriend, thanks to my discriminating parents. It was a disaster since I decided to took her to The Netherlands. I decided to keep it quite, can't fight my parents. I will work a while to get money, and get the heck out of here. Yes, it's nice to have an advanced economy here, but there's no love anymore. It's only greed here. What's life worth if you need 300k euro for a small house to buy, and even need a loan for the freaking car? Work yourself to death until 67 and hopefully " retire " happily.

I have a friend from holland he is 55 and married a Thai woman 3 years his junior.

She looks so much younger than her years that you would have to look at her passport to believe her age.

He used to frequent chatrooms before he was married and just at the mention that he had a thai girlfriend, gave rise to alsorts of comments. You sure it's not a ladyboy? May be ur gay and like them like that. Hey get her checked out she has most likely had more c...ks than you have had hot dinners. Or f...k off pedo crawl back under your stone.

This is the sort of thing that will destroy Thailand for all of those that do not really know her.

In some respects also ruin the lives of people who know and love her

what are you talking about my friend?

Hehehe ..

[Datsun240Z]

i really don't understand that someone can live in a Muslim country, even in Malaysia where human rights are a mockery.

Oh dear, spoken like a person with a sad case of Islamophobia. Obvioulsy many people can and do live in a Muslim country by choice. Sure there are human rights issues in Malaysia, same like there are in Thailand (rohingya, burmese, hmong) and even, dare I say it, in USA (guantanamo) and Europe (gypsies, muslim minority). So I wonder what is really driving your inability to understand how someone can live in a muslim country, becasue it surely isn't human rights alone.

Muslims are not Bad people!

That's right, but some groups are causing great problems all around the world Most major terrorist attacks where done by muslims. Get your facts sonny! 9/11 where muslims to.

[WhiteShrek]

It's true some people don't believe all the fairy tales here so sometimes have problems. As a swamp, Thailand is second to one....

[norwayeagle]

i really don't understand that someone can live in a Muslim country, even in Malaysia where human rights are a mockery.

Oh dear, spoken like a person with a sad case of Islamophobia. Obvioulsy many people can and do live in a Muslim country by choice. Sure there are human rights issues in Malaysia, same like there are in Thailand (rohingya, burmese, hmong) and even, dare I say it, in USA (guantanamo) and Europe (gypsies, muslim minority). So I wonder what is really driving your inability to understand how someone can live in a muslim country, becasue it surely isn't human rights alone.

Muslims are not Bad people!

That's right, but some groups are causing great problems all around the world Most major terrorist attacks where done by muslims. Get your facts sonny! 9/11 where muslims to.

Sonny,,me .Well ur right,but again its a but,,,With information overload am not sure who really did the 9/11 disaster anymore

[Grumbles]

I like it here. I find the Thai people to be the same as any where else - good & bad, but I must say the majority of Thai people I personally have had contact with are very friendly. I firmly believe that people tend to treat you the same as you treat them. I know I do.

As for the authorities, well, they're pretty much the same wherever you go, no such thing as a free country anymore.

I still love Australia but unfortunately the overbearing "Big Brother" style of government there means I won't be going back in a hurry.

[Publicus]

Not close at all. Thailand isn't particulary 'foreign friendly' but it hasn't gotten worse, at least not since I've been here (10 years).

An interesting and good question by the OP. I see by this thread most of you are satisfied with the LOS, even contented.

During my ten years in Thailand (1998-2008) the Thais changed considerably.

We must discount my own changes during my time in LOS because I'm still fundamentally the same person I was when I arrived in LOS to teach English at Chulalongkorn University but didn't get paid, so I quickly left CU. Quite an introduction to the LOS elite, it was. So I didn't come to Thailand starry-eyed, but rather to teach English at a supposed, relatively reputed university that turned out to be a bust. I meant business; they didn't.

Despite spending ten consecutive years in Thailand I didn't have any such plan. It was year to year of basically being comfortable with all that is Thailand. At least on balance.

Over time the balance shifted.

Toxin poisoned the place enuff for me eventually to leave. You know, Thais Love Thais. Thais during recent years have established a veneer of superiority as the LOS sinks deeper into its chaos, its particular self-contradictions and disorder.

There are a high proportion of unsavory characters in Thailand, both foreign and native, but especially from down under.

I also got tired of Thais seeing this farang as Mr. Moneybags and perpetually trying to rip me off.

Yes, Thais are friendly but less so. Yes, the tropical islands and beaches are beautiful and great. Yeah, LOS is cheap. Laid back. Wicked traffic too. Bangkok is exciting but outside its commercial center a dumpy place.

There are things and people, especially students I had, I miss. As with Fenway Park in my hometown of Boston, Thailand is quaint. I visit twice a year now and it's always good to VISIT the LOS.

But gone I am, and happily so.

Edited July 10, 2009 by Publicus