Need Help And Advice On Thai Boyfriend: Marriage?

[mochicci]

Hi thai visa ladies. This is my first time posting on Thaivisa. I've been reading the forum ever since my first visit to Thailand and now I'm in need of some advice from the community.

Its all so complicated, I don't know where to start.

I meet my current boyfriend when I was first in Chiang Mai 4 years ago. I have since been back twice to Thailand because of him. When I was in the USA we communicated via phone and email. Currently, I am in Chiang Mai and have been here for over 7 months. I am a graduate student and doing some research with a local NGO. I will be returning to the USA in about 10 months to graduate. I keep thinking about the future and we both have already discussed marriage. I've researched how to get married in Thailand, but a lot of the information seems to be catered to men marrying thai women and "older" already established or divorced people. This has made it difficult to get info on the topic. Especially since we both are poor people. I'm in debt and he is debt free with no pot of gold in the bank account.

My boyfriend is Thai-Karen. He is 25 and finishing his graduate degree soon. His english isn't great and he is from a "less advantageous" background. We want to go back to the US together and test things out. He is the one for me. I would like to go back to the USA and pay down my education loans for a 5 or so years and then come back. I think this will allow him to improve his english and both of us to get some job experience and skill over there before we return to Thailand (if we wanted to then).

So I'm living off loans and have no income. If we were to go to the USA we have a place to stay and my family will support us (feed and house us).

Please provide any suggestions about how to move forward with taking him back with me to the USA. Is it best to get married? And if we did, could we (we don't have 400,000 bath in a bank account)?

[Mario2008]

You seem to confuse a few things. There is a big difference bewteen getting married in Thailand and getting a visa and extension of stay because you are marreid to a Thai national. And then there is a big differnce between a man maried to a Thai wife and a woman mareid to a Thai husband.

I won't comment on the US part, don't know about the requirements for taking your husband back to the US.

To get married you need a letter from your embassy that says you are allowed to marry. Different embasisies have diffewrent rules about this, but I believe in case of the US it is very easy. Look at the US embassy website for more information. Next you have this letter translated and then legalised by the Thai foreign Ministry, consular section. Then you go to any amphur and get married. This process is relatively easy, as long as your husband to be has his papers in order.

If you want to continue living in Thailand it is relatively easy for you as the wife of a Thai husband. You or your husband ned to show some incoem, but nowhere near the 40,000 a month OR 400,000 in the bank that a foreign husband of a Thai wife have to show.

Cosider if your husband will like it in the US and speaks enough English to get around and start building his own live there.

[mochicci]

You seem to confuse a few things. There is a big difference bewteen getting married in Thailand and getting a visa and extension of stay because you are marreid to a Thai national. And then there is a big differnce between a man maried to a Thai wife and a woman mareid to a Thai husband.

I won't comment on the US part, don't know about the requirements for taking your husband back to the US.

To get married you need a letter from your embassy that says you are allowed to marry. Different embasisies have diffewrent rules about this, but I believe in case of the US it is very easy. Look at the US embassy website for more information. Next you have this letter translated and then legalised by the Thai foreign Ministry, consular section. Then you go to any amphur and get married. This process is relatively easy, as long as your husband to be has his papers in order.

If you want to continue living in Thailand it is relatively easy for you as the wife of a Thai husband. You or your husband ned to show some incoem, but nowhere near the 40,000 a month OR 400,000 in the bank that a foreign husband of a Thai wife have to show.

Cosider if your husband will like it in the US and speaks enough English to get around and start building his own live there.

Thanks for the reply. I'm not interested in getting married for visa purposes to continue my stay in Thailand. I'm more interested in starting and building a new life in the USA together. Does anyone know what or how to go upon doing this. This is where I brought in marriage and that may have been the confusing part.

[Mario2008]

That question might be beter asked in the visa section for other countries. Moved to there.

[Declan]

Hi thai visa ladies. This is my first time posting on Thaivisa. I've been reading the forum ever since my first visit to Thailand and now I'm in need of some advice from the community.

Its all so complicated, I don't know where to start.

I meet my current boyfriend when I was first in Chiang Mai 4 years ago. I have since been back twice to Thailand because of him. When I was in the USA we communicated via phone and email. Currently, I am in Chiang Mai and have been here for over 7 months. I am a graduate student and doing some research with a local NGO. I will be returning to the USA in about 10 months to graduate. I keep thinking about the future and we both have already discussed marriage. I've researched how to get married in Thailand, but a lot of the information seems to be catered to men marrying thai women and "older" already established or divorced people. This has made it difficult to get info on the topic. Especially since we both are poor people. I'm in debt and he is debt free with no pot of gold in the bank account.

My boyfriend is Thai-Karen. He is 25 and finishing his graduate degree soon. His english isn't great and he is from a "less advantageous" background. We want to go back to the US together and test things out. He is the one for me. I would like to go back to the USA and pay down my education loans for a 5 or so years and then come back. I think this will allow him to improve his english and both of us to get some job experience and skill over there before we return to Thailand (if we wanted to then).

So I'm living off loans and have no income. If we were to go to the USA we have a place to stay and my family will support us (feed and house us).

Please provide any suggestions about how to move forward with taking him back with me to the USA. Is it best to get married? And if we did, could we (we don't have 400,000 bath in a bank account)?

You don't need money to marry, only if you were applying for residency here, however if you take this route I wish you the very best of luck with your embassy, their opinion will be that you are marrying him in order to get him to the US

[bina]

if he is karen u might have to check out if he has thai id; if he can get a thai passport. not all of the minority groups have either id or travel papers in which case life gets a bit more complicated...

u can definately post in ladies for your more personal side of the questions... we've all been there done it or doing it........ ) (well, not all of us in states, but issues that arise seem to be global)

bina

israel

[meandwi]

Start here to get the true info needed. http://travel.state.gov/visa/immigrants/ty...types_1315.html

Then go here and ask questions to people who are trying to do the same thing. http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...p;#entry3128733

I used visajourney to help bring my fiance to the U.S. I couldn't have done it without the help from members of that group. And better yet, it was free.

Good luck to you on your journey,

meandwi

[sbk]

Shades of my life.

My husband and I got married quite young, and applied for a green card --my parents sponsored him and he was granted a visa. This was all many many years ago, tho mind you. Be aware of one important thing, if you are in Thailand on a tourist visa you will have to apply for his green card from the US. Made the process that much slower and much more complicated for us.

[nakachalet]

mochici

your bf is 25 and finishing his graduate degree soon

do you know, as a karen (ga-riang), does he has all the documentations required to be eligible for a thai passport?

does he seem enthus about going overseas to the us to work and build a family with you?

you seem to be so very generous and open and is he very much like you? or is he mostly an introvert?

i have tons of concerned questions for you which might be better asked in private. no, i am not trying to dissuate you from your dreams. on the contrary, i would like to see you both achieve your dreams together both in thailand and in the states.

i only hope that your bf would be just as or even more enthus about what you are trying to accomplish. only you would know for sure. if he is even half way enthus, then ok, give it a try. but if he is not even half enthus, then you'd better reconsider what you are trying to do for him and on his behalf....

it might sound harsh and unnecessary at the moment but it is the facts that might save you tons of tear a few years down the road. i'll pm you.

meanwhile, consider carefully to all the advices given by the wiser and more experienced persons here, particularly the ladies who already offer their assistance to you.

finally, gathering from what you said, it seems like you are giving 100+% and maybe more.... and what or how much is he putting into this dream? no, it is not the money issue. it is the heart and his willingness to work, support and provide for you--that is at issue--both at the present time and in the future.

if right now, he is sitting pretty and you are doing all the work for yourself and for him, and you are doing everything to make him happy at your own expense.... then think again about your relationship with him. does he always put you in front of himself or is it the other way around? well, only you can answer that. anyway, wishing you sweet success both in your study and your relationship. let's email.

[mochicci]

thank you all for your support, comments and concerns.

He is a thai citizen and has a thai id card. As a matter of fact, he is in the army right now. He doesn't have a thai passport yet, but we plan to travel to KL in Dec so we'll get one then.

So after my post I spent more time looking into the different visas and possibilities of visas for the USA. It seems fairly straight forward, but reading through the thaivisa posts it seems like there are always obstacles or bumps along the way.

I am current on a tourist visa--3rd one. Is this bad? I've been to thailand before on 2 ED visas and one was the length of 9 months. I'm not sure if this matters at all. I've heard that you can get a longer visa if you have a thai boyfriend. Is this true and will this make anything easier for us in the long run? Like having to apply for a green card from the USA?

[sbk]

No, you must be married to get the longer visa. Since you have a tourist visa, it seems to me that you would possibly be better off applying for a fiance visa rather than the green card.

We married first, and then found out that the application had to be made in the US because I was also on a tourist visa. So, all documents had to be translated then mailed to the US INS office in California. Then it all had to be mailed back cause the photo was the wrong size. Then it all had to be mailed back again.

As for discussion on your relationship, well, only you and your bf know where you are and where you are headed at in your relationship and since you don't appear to be asking for any advice on that, I will refrain from putting in my two cents worth. Just let me add, that my husband loved the US, but we ended moving back to Thailand because, amazingly enough, we had better opportunities in Thailand than in the US. Lots of women move back to their home countries with their husbands and many live quite successfully. If you are interested in how well husbands have adapted I suggest you post in the Ladies forum where you will get first hand experiences from women.

However, obviously, he's got to be discharged from the army before he can go anywhere.