Why Would She Do This?

[Soutpeel]

Stop beeing so judgemental about thai women. Its not logical she has found someone new after showing me to her whole family, she would loose face big time.

I am not being judgemental about all Thai woman, in fact, I have been happily married to a Thai woman for 7 years... ...I am giving you an opinion based on the "facts" as you have presented them...

Love your last sentance...another expert on Thai culture/Thai woman, after a 5 month relationship... ...you dont really have a clue..

[jackdanielsesq]

We have a quaint expression in LA - "How do you get over someone? Get under someone new"

Stop being such a whinging, whining weenie - thats why she dumped you.

BR>Jack

[marshbags]

Am I missing something here or possibly misreading the O.P.

He said he was waiting for the money to be transferred when the bullshit hit the fan and from then on thngs went downhill to zero, relationship wise.

Quote

" I was waiting for my salary to come from the US but it took some days. She got angry since she said her mother expected the money and i said several times i have done what i can, now its up to the bank to transfer. I cannot make it go faster. She got really angry and acted kinda disappointed about me. This made me furious, why are you angry at me when all i do is help you? There is not one bad feeling in my entire body. She was angry like this for 2 days and in the end i got fed up and said i was leaving to stay at hotel for 1 day to think about this. I really didnt like how she acted, felt like i was beeing tricked. "

Unquote

Does this mean as I read it he hasn,t actually given her 50k, in which case apart from the relationship NOT blossoming into something else ( big time handouts ect. ) then nothing lost apart from a bit of pride and as he is young, it comes with growing up not only in Thailand but anywhere in the world were unrequented love exists.

Come to that the older you get, the more likely one is open to the well renowned charms of a lovely lady...any nationality anywhere......any time.

Move on, ASAP, bite the bullet of reality and let it be another of those good lessons in life .........................until the next time eh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is

marshbags

Edited August 9, 2009 by marshbags

[akirasan]

Some great advice in this thread Jason, I hope you're paying attention to it.

I remember my first thai gf did a similar act to yours, minus the 50,000 baht. To stop talking with you suddenly just means you've just been dumped, thai style.

If you get back together, she will probably do the same again soon afterwards (at least mine did).

It sucks, but the quicker you move on with your life, the quicker you'll be happy again.

[wilsongbrown]

I knew a nice young Danish guy here who told me he'd married a Thai girl and went to live up in Nakon Nowhere with the extended family of course. Bought them some adjacent land to extend the farm etc. Was married for two years before her aunt told him that her brother and his kids were neither her brother, nor just his kids, geddit? Nice woman the aunt, should've married her

[Petesear]

Sorry to say this but I think you have been stitched up.

Some Thai gals are very good at it.

Bad luck...move on

Edit: Some gals are very good at it.

[meandwi]

Tried texting her if she could give me reason, was it something i did and why not end it like friends? Why this silent breakup when we had so much fun all of the sudden?

No answer. Tried calling her but she hang up on me i think. So i guess this is 100% ended.

Another part of getting her parents approval was the " IS HE A TOTAL WIMP? TEST.

I hope you didn't act like this during your relationship.

Oh, wait, didn't you get mad, turn your back on her, walk away for a day, giving her the silent treatment?

If I were her father, There is no way I would allow her to ever see you again.

[akirasan]

If I were her father, There is no way I would allow her to ever see you again.

Especially seeing as the OP never had to stay up all night drinking sang som with him.

[sammysung]

It is also possible that she is protecting you from her family, by ending your relationship now. She has to work this through herself. There is very little, if anything, that you can do about it.

If she is truly unhappy, the family will notice, and you may be given a second chance.

However, it would be unwise of me to build false hopes for you

Good luck.

yes false hopes is bad!

PROTECTING YOUR INTEREST IS WORSE..............abov poster must be comedian..........

i met a guy in a bar who said after he paid sinsoot of 100,000 baht he found condoms in his girls purse, the girl said its for good luck......he wondering if marriage is the right thing. also momma say 100k is nonrefundable. he want joking! the polite man i am i said i feel for him...

Edited August 9, 2009 by sammysung

[zorro1]

I often read in forums guys stating "I am a young guy, very fit, healthy" and the also say good looking. If that is the case why get involved with a women from a foreign country? There are plenty of beautiful Asian women in the USA that are not poor. Honestly if I was " young guy, very fit, healthy" I would have never got involved with a woman from a developing nation. Guys on this forum can BS all they want but I admit I know that getting a beautiful wife 10 years my junior without scary emotional baggage in Canada would be near impossible. I wasn't about to settle for that so I married my fantastic Thai wife. I was very lucky but my job allowed me to take my time and find the right women, none of this long distance stuff.

If you are young don't waste your time with women from developing nations. Your from the USA there are millions of hot women there and you don't have to worry about cultural hang ups.

Ahhh at last some one said it. Very refreshing post. When I was 19 I went to Manilla with a bunch of guys and Hated Angeles city!. Lived on the gold coast 6ft3 ripped and knocking back pussy tall blonde and no money involved had more than could handle. Married a girl 14 years younger when I was 35. But these days I prefer the path of least resistance , thank you Thailand

Op if you are young and honestly hansum what you doing here? plenty of Eurasians in the west, better looking and same money as you

[Zstarx]

In Thailand it is nearly always about the money, I would imagine this girl is quite good looking and young, if you don't have 50,000 Baht in savings and you have to rely on your paycheck then you really can't afford an attractive Thai girlfriend. I'm afraid it's as simple as that, despite what other board members might say. Young attractive girls are more interested in someone with money than love. If you get someone not so attractive who doesn't have so many choices then you will be treated like a king.

I am married to a very attractive Thai girl and she costs me a fortune. I'm just lucky that I have more money than she is attractive if you know what I mean!!

Many, Many more fish in the sea. Good luck

[krading]

50k What do you yanks call it? Chump change? You got your money's worth out of this post anyway.

[bodypaul]

I love threads like this!

[BusyB]

I am a young guy, very fit, healthy and had several normal relationships in the US.

I've been with a thai girl for 5 months and it got very serious. She wanted to marrie me in the end and we have had fun all the time. Last month i stayed with her the entire month to see if we can live together. And we were perfect together. We had alot of discussions where both feared each other breaking the others heart. But i made sure if she had any problem with me, she could speak with me. Call me whatever, i can help her. I want to provide for her.

She didnt ask for anything these months except the last two weeks.

I already knew she owned a land and that she was planning to get a house for her mother and herself since she lives a bit poor with my girlfriends sister. So i was happy to provide her that last 50 000 baht she needed to complete the payment for the land. She made sure i didnt have to do this and also said she could pay me back. But i was happy to do this since i have met her family and want to help.

All my life i have lived good, i like helping people and dont care about myself.

I was waiting for my salary to come from the US but it took some days. She got angry since she said her mother expected the money and i said several times i have done what i can, now its up to the bank to transfer. I cannot make it go faster. She got really angry and acted kinda disappointed about me. This made me furious, why are you angry at me when all i do is help you? There is not one bad feeling in my entire body. She was angry like this for 2 days and in the end i got fed up and said i was leaving to stay at hotel for 1 day to think about this. I really didnt like how she acted, felt like i was beeing tricked.

Next day i kinda felt what if i have misjudged the situation? So i contacted her again and she cried and said she was sorry. She was heartbroken over me leaving and hadnt slept all night. She was like a zombie. I felt bad and said i was sorry and she also apologized.

The next days she wasnt herself and i felt she was still thinking of our fight. She started crying suddenly when we went out for dinner.

The day after i went back to the US since i had to work and now suddenly she didnt contact me as she used to before when i was home. I had to call her and often she was unavailable and used "Busy working" as an apology. So i felt something was wrong but she said i love you on phone so i kinda didnt think more of it.

Then suddenly for 1 week i couldnt call her, she didnt pick up phone or answer my messages. I got a friend who lives in Thailand to call her to see if she was ignoring me. And she answered, my friend said i was worried about her. Then she responded "Me and him is finished!" in a angry voice.

How would you guys think about this situation? I have asked many about this, mostly farang and they have bad experienced with thai from before. So they obviously say i have been tricked. But the money for the land i was with her when she paid it completely, so i know she didnt use it for something else. And she has never asked for anything beyond this. Should i think she may have tricked me? Or can it be our fight which resulted in she not trusting me anymore?

I have a hard time accepting that she has tricked me, i dont believe this. She hated girls like that, we spoke about thai farang relationships often because i was afraid of just this when we met.

She also wanted to marrie me and come with me to the US so yeah, i am confused. This was last monday, she has not called me or sent any text messages about reason yet. I am planning to send her a text message tomorrow on sunday to see if i can get a reason. I still love her very much, i saw a future with her. And i could definetaly give her a very good life.

Any opinions on this? Especially from thai people? Would greatly appreciate it.

Tuition fees mate, tuition fees. Learn the lesson and move on.  It's cheap at the price as you'll discover if you trawl this forum a little. 

Whatever you do put her behind you. It's the fastest way over the (undoubtedly genuine) broken heart. It'll restore your self-esteem (don't worry though, happens to the best of us - she needed the money for the land and saw the chance - believe me they can be really good at it - it's no shame to be suckered by some of these women - once anyway - twice ... well ... ). It'll see you back on the road again faster for some fun. Romance and hookers don't mix. Fun does if you're wise.

Or if you want to keep us entertained with weeks of more pain and how could she and I don't understand and now she wants sin sot and ...., then please feel free. Some of us love reading it for all sorts of questionable reasons and it's certainly hilarious to watch. 

Up to you. 

[sokal]

I am a young guy, very fit, healthy and had several normal relationships in the US.

I've been with a thai girl for 5 months and it got very serious. She wanted to marrie me in the end and we have had fun all the time. Last month i stayed with her the entire month to see if we can live together. And we were perfect together. We had alot of discussions where both feared each other breaking the others heart. But i made sure if she had any problem with me, she could speak with me. Call me whatever, i can help her. I want to provide for her.

She didnt ask for anything these months except the last two weeks.

I already knew she owned a land and that she was planning to get a house for her mother and herself since she lives a bit poor with my girlfriends sister. So i was happy to provide her that last 50 000 baht she needed to complete the payment for the land. She made sure i didnt have to do this and also said she could pay me back. But i was happy to do this since i have met her family and want to help.

All my life i have lived good, i like helping people and dont care about myself.

I was waiting for my salary to come from the US but it took some days. She got angry since she said her mother expected the money and i said several times i have done what i can, now its up to the bank to transfer. I cannot make it go faster. She got really angry and acted kinda disappointed about me. This made me furious, why are you angry at me when all i do is help you? There is not one bad feeling in my entire body. She was angry like this for 2 days and in the end i got fed up and said i was leaving to stay at hotel for 1 day to think about this. I really didnt like how she acted, felt like i was beeing tricked.

Next day i kinda felt what if i have misjudged the situation? So i contacted her again and she cried and said she was sorry. She was heartbroken over me leaving and hadnt slept all night. She was like a zombie. I felt bad and said i was sorry and she also apologized.

The next days she wasnt herself and i felt she was still thinking of our fight. She started crying suddenly when we went out for dinner.

The day after i went back to the US since i had to work and now suddenly she didnt contact me as she used to before when i was home. I had to call her and often she was unavailable and used "Busy working" as an apology. So i felt something was wrong but she said i love you on phone so i kinda didnt think more of it.

Then suddenly for 1 week i couldnt call her, she didnt pick up phone or answer my messages. I got a friend who lives in Thailand to call her to see if she was ignoring me. And she answered, my friend said i was worried about her. Then she responded "Me and him is finished!" in a angry voice.

How would you guys think about this situation? I have asked many about this, mostly farang and they have bad experienced with thai from before. So they obviously say i have been tricked. But the money for the land i was with her when she paid it completely, so i know she didnt use it for something else. And she has never asked for anything beyond this. Should i think she may have tricked me? Or can it be our fight which resulted in she not trusting me anymore?

I have a hard time accepting that she has tricked me, i dont believe this. She hated girls like that, we spoke about thai farang relationships often because i was afraid of just this when we met.

She also wanted to marrie me and come with me to the US so yeah, i am confused. This was last monday, she has not called me or sent any text messages about reason yet. I am planning to send her a text message tomorrow on sunday to see if i can get a reason. I still love her very much, i saw a future with her. And i could definetaly give her a very good life.

Any opinions on this? Especially from thai people? Would greatly appreciate it.

As far as I am concerned if she had any assets like land then that should have been a giveaway that she was a rip off artist.

Did she tell you where she got the money for the land ?

How old where you and her ?

[sokal]

She's shafted you pure and simple. That she had tears rolling down here face and saying she loved you means nada. It can be turned on and off at will by most. In future don't moddy-coddle them, their values are different to a farang's and they walk all over weakness (not talking about bashing, that's for cowards)... Thai guys, as a rule, don't run around their women. Try picking one that's not scared to stand up to their bleeding parents. Finally, chalk it up and move on. It'd never work out nicely, she's not a good un.

allot of these girls want to have kids of their own so if they are hartless criminals then how will they ever have kids if they screw all their prospects ?

[sokal]

I often read in forums guys stating "I am a young guy, very fit, healthy" and the also say good looking. If that is the case why get involved with a women from a foreign country? There are plenty of beautiful Asian women in the USA that are not poor. Honestly if I was " young guy, very fit, healthy" I would have never got involved with a woman from a developing nation. Guys on this forum can BS all they want but I admit I know that getting a beautiful wife 10 years my junior without scary emotional baggage in Canada would be near impossible. I wasn't about to settle for that so I married my fantastic Thai wife. I was very lucky but my job allowed me to take my time and find the right women, none of this long distance stuff.

If you are young don't waste your time with women from developing nations. Your from the USA there are millions of hot women there and you don't have to worry about cultural hang ups.

It depends where you live. It is not easy to meet girls in NA. Go to a bar in Vancouver Canada, all the guys you see are pimped out in good shape. Its a sea of good looking young guys, not to mention the expensive vehicles in the parking lot. Its fierce competion.

[JasonM]

Well i didnt travel to Thailand for the girls, i travelled there for diving. Ive been to Thailand many times before without meeting anyone. It was a freak accident i just met this girl and we hit it off. Exotic women have always been my favourite, and i feel i have a connection with asian culture in general.

[monkfish]

Hey JasonM don't don't give up man!

My wife did the same thing to me after 2 weeks i was going crazy.

So jumped on a plane to Thailand and on arrival i asked her to marry.

Turned out she just wanted to know how serious i was

That was 10 years ago! and still going strong

Good luck

[Ulysses G.]

I often read in forums guys stating "I am a young guy, very fit, healthy" and the also say good looking. If that is the case why get involved with a women from a foreign country? There are plenty of beautiful Asian women in the USA that are not poor.

I agree. A beautiful, feminine Asian (Oriental) girl from the US or UK is hard to beat and far less cultural differences.

[britmaveric]

Well i didnt travel to Thailand for the girls, i travelled there for diving. Ive been to Thailand many times before without meeting anyone. It was a freak accident i just met this girl and we hit it off. Exotic women have always been my favourite, and i feel i have a connection with asian culture in general.

1. Diving in Thailand is not so good why did you choose here?

2. You been to Thailand many times yet never met anyone you fancy and you claim to be attracted to exotic women???

3. Connection to Asian Culture, but you know little about it?

Jason stop making things hard on yourself - if and thats a BIG IF she wants anything to do with you, you need not worry she will contact you. However based on similar situations I've seen through mates of mine - I'd wager you won't hear from her ever again. This is a good thing in my estimation, saves you time/effort/dosh. It's human nature to want closure, but in some cases you never get that - just smth you need to realize and move on to a relationship that is healthy and doesnt play games with you.

[JasonM]

Hey JasonM don't don't give up man!

My wife did the same thing to me after 2 weeks i was going crazy.

So jumped on a plane to Thailand and on arrival i asked her to marry.

Turned out she just wanted to know how serious i was

That was 10 years ago! and still going strong

Good luck

In this case its 5 months and she knows how much i love her. So its really up to her now. I could travel to Thailand tomorrow if i just knew she was still interessted. But i have no clue anymore, so i cant do anything but wait.

To the other questions. The reason why i havent met a thai girl before is that i avoided them. I was on holiday to dive, and thailand has one of THE best diving spots in the world. I avoided thais in general because ive read so much bad about them. But had no chance in hel_l to resist this girl, lets say she stands out pretty much. Even thai men turns theyre head around after her. She looks like a tiny supermodel, perfect in every way possible. I am a nice guy, i am not the type of farang that travels to thailand for women and taking advantage of em. I love diving and freediving, and thailand is perfect for this i think

Anyways happy for you monkfish But i think your case was a bit easier than mine right now

Edited August 9, 2009 by JasonM

[relayer]

Women are fickle.

Let's hope you at least got some good mileage out of her for what it cost you...........

[britmaveric]

Thailand's diving is overated except maybe Koh Tao. However for the most part I wouldnt even rate anything in the top 10 - far better places in the world unless you are doing training/certs.

How can one take advantage of a thai women by traveling to Thailand? (very curious statement since you are the one who was taken advantage of)

Edited August 9, 2009 by britmaveric

[Theyreallrubbish]

I guess I'll be the first to say it.

You were not the only guy.

She has several BFs, most of them sending her money and she schedules her time with them.

When you had difficulty coming up with a mere 50k she decided the time invested in you wasn't going to pay off compared to investing that time and energy in some of her other buffalo. So you were kicked to the kerb to free up a place for someone with more money and ideally less emotionally demanding.

If you want to be a total victim the only way to get her back will be to offer a cost-benefit ratio competitive with the other guys she has and can conceivably get. If she speaks Japanese you have to be looking at a minimum 30k a month and giving her plenty of advance warning before coming to Thailand to help her arrange the schedule for everyone and not being so emotionally demanding.

Oh, and thinking it was your idea to give her the money just shows she is a good con artist. She got the money and you think its your idea. Only a skill on her part. The putting the 10k back at the beginning is almost a cliche when it comes to how these girls operate. And introducing you to the family means nothing. Often the whole village can be in on the scam and will greet you as if your visit is really something special even though they may have just waved off another dumb farang brought by the same girls a couple of weeks ago. Again a complete cliche on how the con works. So much of a cliche that I'm thinking this is a troll

[katana]

Am I missing something here or possibly misreading the O.P.

He said he was waiting for the money to be transferred when the bullshit hit the fan and from then on thngs went downhill to zero, relationship wise.

Quote

" I was waiting for my salary to come from the US but it took some days. She got angry since she said her mother expected the money and i said several times i have done what i can, now its up to the bank to transfer. I cannot make it go faster. She got really angry and acted kinda disappointed about me. This made me furious, why are you angry at me when all i do is help you? There is not one bad feeling in my entire body. She was angry like this for 2 days and in the end i got fed up and said i was leaving to stay at hotel for 1 day to think about this. I really didnt like how she acted, felt like i was beeing tricked. "

Unquote

Does this mean as I read it he hasn,t actually given her 50k, in which case apart from the relationship NOT blossoming into something else ( big time handouts ect. ) then nothing lost apart from a bit of pride and as he is young, it comes with growing up not only in Thailand but anywhere in the world were unrequented love exists.

Come to that the older you get, the more likely one is open to the well renowned charms of a lovely lady...any nationality anywhere......any time.

Move on, ASAP, bite the bullet of reality and let it be another of those good lessons in life .........................until the next time eh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is

marshbags

I was unsure of that as well. Was the money actually given to her in the end?

[Loaded]

Thais girls can ball their eyes out in a miilisecond without warning IF you accuse them of ANYTHING. This followed by why u no belive me , Luv you so much and you talk me bad. Followed by we finish . Followed by her storming out. Followed by you feeling guilty for asking her why she has a love bite on her neck so you end up believeing her bumped into door story and take her back LOL. Just watch thai soaps and you can see these girls can really Act!

A little tiger balm under each eye works wonders

[sokal]

I guess I'll be the first to say it.

You were not the only guy.

She has several BFs, most of them sending her money and she schedules her time with them.

When you had difficulty coming up with a mere 50k she decided the time invested in you wasn't going to pay off compared to investing that time and energy in some of her other buffalo. So you were kicked to the kerb to free up a place for someone with more money and ideally less emotionally demanding.

If you want to be a total victim the only way to get her back will be to offer a cost-benefit ratio competitive with the other guys she has and can conceivably get. If she speaks Japanese you have to be looking at a minimum 30k a month and giving her plenty of advance warning before coming to Thailand to help her arrange the schedule for everyone and not being so emotionally demanding.

Oh, and thinking it was your idea to give her the money just shows she is a good con artist. She got the money and you think its your idea. Only a skill on her part. The putting the 10k back at the beginning is almost a cliche when it comes to how these girls operate. And introducing you to the family means nothing. Often the whole village can be in on the scam and will greet you as if your visit is really something special even though they may have just waved off another dumb farang brought by the same girls a couple of weeks ago. Again a complete cliche on how the con works. So much of a cliche that I'm thinking this is a troll

Guys like you think that Thai girls are these sub human beings with not emotions.

Do you think this girl never wants to have her own kids ?

do you think this girl never wants to get married ?

do you think this girl would rather be with a drunk Thai guy ?

[Ulysses G.]

do you think this girl would rather be with a drunk Thai guy ?

Don't fool yoursel. Most of them much rather be with a Thai man.

[marshbags]

Am I missing something here or possibly misreading the O.P.

He said he was waiting for the money to be transferred when the bullshit hit the fan and from then on thngs went downhill to zero, relationship wise.

Quote

" I was waiting for my salary to come from the US but it took some days. She got angry since she said her mother expected the money and i said several times i have done what i can, now its up to the bank to transfer. I cannot make it go faster. She got really angry and acted kinda disappointed about me. This made me furious, why are you angry at me when all i do is help you? There is not one bad feeling in my entire body. She was angry like this for 2 days and in the end i got fed up and said i was leaving to stay at hotel for 1 day to think about this. I really didnt like how she acted, felt like i was beeing tricked. "

Unquote

Does this mean as I read it he hasn,t actually given her 50k,

edited by marshbags

marshbags

I was unsure of that as well. Was the money actually given to her in the end?

Come on then JasonM, did you or didn,t you pay the 50k ???

Just maybe this could well be a wind up or perhaps a few half truths being told with bits added on to make it more than it is / was.

marshbags