Generosity In Thai People

[kaosoi]

Hello,

I made a post about the book Thai Fever here a few days ago ( http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/Thailand-Fever-t289548.html ) which has generated some useful and interesting feedback from some people who have also read the book.

The commments, though, tended to be quite general. I wanted to focus specifically on one of the key ideas of the book that says a very important Thai value is generosity. I paraphrase:

Generosity (Naam Jai): Thais judge each other based on how generous they are and they expect no payment for it ...BUT they do think there will be a long term return eg shared farming or dropping all to help strugglig relatives and welcome them into your home..so Thais will automatically assume you are generous and you will express your self esteem/values via this. So they will give you plenty of opportunities to show this generosity. They will reciprocate your generosity somehow.

In the other thread I expressed my surprise at this key value beause I have not experiened it much. We can read stories here and elsewhere of farangs being asked for money alot (by gold digging girfriends or taxi drivers overcharging or whatever). I think it can be easy to be cynical about the notion of Thai generosity but i would like not to be cynical here.

So, if you have had any experience of generosity in Thais as a cultural value, as something deeply held (NOT any flip comments about somebody offering you a light once or anything)........ please share.

Edited August 21, 2009 by kaosoi

[cdnvic]

Near our apartment in CM there are two food vendors nearby. One tried to overcharge when she saw me, but the other used to always give me extra large helpings because "you big guy.... need to eat lots".

[Joost]

If i'd call it generosity i dont know. Could be what you mean though. A few years back my father in law needed a bypass operation. His boss paid all and he got a treatement in a respectable hospital and care he couldnt afford himself.

In my experience he is now loyal to his boss without any restrictions or restraints. I think the guy feels he will always be in debt in some kind of way towards his boss.

[kaosoi]

If i'd call it generosity i dont know. Could be what you mean though. A few years back my father in law needed a bypass operation. His boss paid all and he got a treatement in a respectable hospital and care he couldnt afford himself.

In my experience he is now loyal to his boss without any restrictions or restraints. I think the guy feels he will always be in debt in some kind of way towards his boss.

interesting..I think this is the kind of thing the book was getting at.

Do you have any idea of the Boss's reason for doing it? I mean, it was "beyond the call of duty" for a normal non Thai work relationship. Do you think the boss felt obliged to do it?

[way2muchcoffee]

I hate to add a cynical remark, but one can imagine that after decades of exploiting the man while making a fortune for himself, the boss may have felt obligated somehow.

[lannarebirth]

Nam Jai and Boon Koon go hand in hand.

I once had a Thai princess buy me a beautiful silk shirt and later that same day she asked me to "save" her a couple of rai of some mountain land my wife and I have. It's kinda cute. I let the wife handle these matters.

[lannarebirth]

If i'd call it generosity i dont know. Could be what you mean though. A few years back my father in law needed a bypass operation. His boss paid all and he got a treatement in a respectable hospital and care he couldnt afford himself.

In my experience he is now loyal to his boss without any restrictions or restraints. I think the guy feels he will always be in debt in some kind of way towards his boss.

Greng Jai

[way2muchcoffee]

Nam Jai in this case I think...

[mca]

When somebody tells me what a local has done for them under the banner of Thai generosity or generosity I've experienced myself from a Thai it's no more or less than what I'd expect from people back in my home country to be perfectly honest.

Please note this is in no way a Thai bash. Just how I genuinely see it.

[topben]

thai generosiy abounds in the countryside. down-town? sparing though not non-existant, tautology?????

[lannarebirth]

Nam Jai in this case I think...

I was speaking of the employee. Anyhow, most Thai people I've met are pretty generous.

Edited August 21, 2009 by lannarebirth

[Joost]

If i'd call it generosity i dont know. Could be what you mean though. A few years back my father in law needed a bypass operation. His boss paid all and he got a treatement in a respectable hospital and care he couldnt afford himself.

In my experience he is now loyal to his boss without any restrictions or restraints. I think the guy feels he will always be in debt in some kind of way towards his boss.

interesting..I think this is the kind of thing the book was getting at.

Do you have any idea of the Boss's reason for doing it? I mean, it was "beyond the call of duty" for a normal non Thai work relationship. Do you think the boss felt obliged to do it?

What the reasons for helping were i can merely guess. However he did work for this boss a long time already and i believe (distant) they are even related to each other in some kind of way.

In a country like Thailand, without much social security, i suppose people rely on each other in situations like this.

As far as i can tell, most of what could be called as generosity could be explained as loaning a favour which has to be paid back at some point. Personally this is a reason why i am hestitant to 'favours' since i dont like the idea of 'owning' someone else. I think that is where western and eastern culture might differ.