Dont Read This Chopthai So That You Wont

[TizMe]

Edited March 11, 2005 by TizMe

[TizMe]

A man is learning to skydive. His instructor tells him that when he reaches a certain elevation, he has to release his parachute. The instructor tells him"Pull this chord, and if it doesn't work, pull the other one."

So the man gets ready to jump, and out of the blue he asks, "What if both the chords don't work?"

The instructor replies,"Then you yell 'Oh great buddah help me!'" So the man jumps. He pulls the first chord, it doesn't work. The second chord doesn't work either. So he yells at the top of his lungs, "OH GREAT BUDDAH HELP ME!" All of a sudden a giant hand comes out of nowhere and catches him. The man then said, "Oh Thank God", and the hand dropped him.

[TizMe]

The Budhist said to the hotdog vendor, "Make me one with everything"

[TizMe]

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication!

[TizMe]

a monk was visiting Tokyo for the first time and was awed by the many people and buildings. after some time of walking he noticed he was hungry and found a sidewalk tofu vendor. he ordered a nice dish of rice, soy and tofu and paid with a 10, though the meal only cost 5.

the monk politely asked for his change for the purchase, to which the vendor replied, "silly monk, change comes from within."

[TizMe]

[TizMe]

The Law of Karma states that good ones go to heaven and evil ones go to h3ll, but sometimes things got mixed up, and an engineer end up in h3ll after his death.

King Yama (the Lord of h3ll in Buddhism) looked at his record of Karma and said, "You should not be in here. You should go to heaven to enjoy life. However, we in h3ll are undergoing a major renovation project, to install a central air conditioning system for everybody. Are you interested in submitting a bid?"

The engineer thought, "I have the right to go to Heaven. But, what the h3ll, I don't want to lost a business opportunity here." So he submitted a bid to King Yama and got the job.

The work proceeds well and besides installing a central air conditioning system, the engineer also put in a large swimming pool and construct a beautiful park. Life in h3ll had became very comfortable.

One day, King Yama met King Sakra, (the Heavenly Emperor) at a Buddhist Temple. "How is life in h3ll?" asked Emperor Sakra.

"Very good," replied King Yama, "we hired an engineer who preferred to stay with me rather than going to you, and he had installed things like air conditioners to make life comfortable."

Upon hearing this, Emperor Sakra got furious, "You are breaking the Law of Karma. I demand that you send the engineer back to heaven immediately, otherwise I will take legal action against you."

"Take legal action?" King Yama smiled, "where can you got a lawyer?"

Edited March 11, 2005 by TizMe

[TizMe]

Q: What do you call a schizophrenic Buddhist?

A: Someone who is at two with the universe.

[TizMe]

One day a young Buddhist on his journey home, came to the banks of a wide river. Staring hopelessly at the great obstacle in front of him , he pondered for hours on just how to cross such a wide barrier. Just as he was about to give up his pursuit to continue his journey he saw a great teacher on the other side of the river. The young Buddhist yells over to the teacher "Oh wise one , can you tell me how to get to the other side of this river"?

The teacher ponders for a moment looks up and down the river and yells back "My son, you are on the other side" .

[TizMe]

I'll believe in reincarnation in my next life.

[Darknight]

i think their funny but you proved your point tizme

i'm gonna close this one as well though as not to upset sensitive readers