Life In Thailand

[thaimate]

Family and friends are at the top of the list. Farang, husband or not, is at the bottom. When you were in the UK she only had the phone.... now its easy .

to be honest that statement is rubbish ,my wife treats me as well as any member of her familly ,if not better ,all of my friends who are married to Thai women say the same and from my observations it seems right .

i dont know who the whingers on these boards married but its certainly not the sort of Thai women that i have ever met.

as for the original poster ,no sex in 5 years? ever thaught she never loved you? how about divorcing her and finding a decent woman who will treat you respectfully.

[carmine]

Find a mia noi... you get sex and attention then.

Great advice,...and if she turns out better than the wife ( which dosent seem difficult ) dump the wife !,......if thai women smell weakness they go for the throat, i think hes left it to late to change !

Have to agree with that sentiment. For some reason, being very nice and good-hearted about everything seems to be seen as weakness by many Thai women. Then you are on the way down to being lower in the pecking order than the soi dog.

Not that I am advocating any violence or such. But I have noticed many times the woman seems to respect you more here when you do put your foot down. Sadly.

I hope you are wrong...if you are correct, what a totally foil trait to have!

[LooseCannon]

Family and friends are at the top of the list. Farang, husband or not, is at the bottom. When you were in the UK she only had the phone.... now its easy .

to be honest that statement is rubbish ,my wife treats me as well as any member of her familly ,if not better ,all of my friends who are married to Thai women say the same and from my observations it seems right .

i dont know who the whingers on these boards married but its certainly not the sort of Thai women that i have ever met.

as for the original poster ,no sex in 5 years? ever thaught she never loved you? how about divorcing her and finding a decent woman who will treat you respectfully.

I couldn't agree more.

This is a myth that is perpetuated by the farang that has married a particular class of Thai woman (& of course reinforced by the actions of that wife).

For my wife - our 2 children & myself are of primary importance, with her family & my family secondary. This is also true for the vast majority of Thai/farang marriages & Thai/Thai marriages that I know & associate with.

For many Thai women marriage to a farang is one of convenience, not of love. In some cases this turns into love over time, in others not.

I would suggest to the OP that the love you hope for will never materialize & it is probably better to move on.

[a2396]

This guy can't be for real!! Usually, Asian women get corrupted living in the west, not the other way around. Another example of the folly of marriage. I wonder what ropes she has got on him financially.

[DLock]

I think Ozzieovaseas and Soloman were on the right track...

She sounds like she has what she needs form you in terms of a house, car and money (I'm guessing here), and really, you are just in the way now, and I hate to say, that she probably doesn't care if you stay or go...but knows that you are "in love" and probably won't leave, so she plays that bet and ignores you.

Tough situation Fred and I feel for you, but it might be time to cash in what chips you have left and call it a night.

Can't see anything dramatically changing after 5 years...except when you do go to leave. Expect some emotions and short term lies, and it wont be just you against her, it will be you against the entire family and that can get dodgy.

If it were me, I'd probably pack what I wanted into the car, said I was going on business somewhere and just disappear.

The pain of staying sounds like its greater than the pain of leaving.

You may have wasted 5 years...but don't waste any more.

Good Luck.

[mauGR1]

I wonder how many Western guys are in a similar situation in Thailand.

I hope i am wrong,but the OP could have invested his hard-earned money to provide a nice house and a nice car for his wife,of course in her name.

Perhaps,after 5 years is about time OP asks himself how long he can endure this situation.

It seems obvious she does not love him,and it's not going to get better.

Maybe time to look for a good lawyer?

[zorro1]

Your in love

She doesn't even respect you. I imagine you dont respect your self either by the sounds of it and that's the saddest part.

[Travel2003]

Family and friends are at the top of the list. Farang, husband or not, is at the bottom. When you were in the UK she only had the phone.... now its easy .

to be honest that statement is rubbish ,my wife treats me as well as any member of her familly ,if not better ,all of my friends who are married to Thai women say the same and from my observations it seems right .

i dont know who the whingers on these boards married but its certainly not the sort of Thai women that i have ever met.

as for the original poster ,no sex in 5 years? ever thaught she never loved you? how about divorcing her and finding a decent woman who will treat you respectfully.

I agree with you.

There is no doubt that in my marriage, I am first, as I am her closest family now.

She is first for me because she is my closest family now.

My wife hate the freeloading distant relatives that once in a while try to borrow money.

Her brother was in (finacially) trouble some time back, and she told him to deal with it.

She got upset when I suggested to maybe help a little?

She is a housewife, and get annoyed if I try to "invade" her turf.

My job is to provide money she says, and her job is to provide for me when I am home.

Only thing I am allowed to do is to make myself sandwitches, or if I will cook a big farang meal.

Still she hangs over me to observe, so eager to help out.

My God have I met the right one.

I feel I won the lottery sometimes.

[webfact]

// Post containing flaming has been deleted from this topic.

Please keep it clean and respectable.Otherwise I close this thread //

Thank you

[Scully]

Family and friends are at the top of the list. Farang, husband or not, is at the bottom. When you were in the UK she only had the phone.... now its easy .

to be honest that statement is rubbish ,my wife treats me as well as any member of her familly ,if not better ,all of my friends who are married to Thai women say the same and from my observations it seems right .

i dont know who the whingers on these boards married but its certainly not the sort of Thai women that i have ever met.

as for the original poster ,no sex in 5 years? ever thaught she never loved you? how about divorcing her and finding a decent woman who will treat you respectfully.

I totally agree with this.

When I came to Thailand I avoided relationships with Thai women because I had read this forum for months before I flew here and believed they are lazy, have no time for you because of family etc etc.

Anyway I met a Thai girl and didn't trust her one little bit, all because of some of the rubbish you read on here. I checked her phone, counted my money all the time etc etc.

I now know she is none of the typical TV members idea of a Thai girl and you and only you will know if she loves you.

P.S. I met one of the posters on here who is constantly slagging off Thai women in his posts saying "they really want Thai men and they are only with farrang for money" so on and so on. What he failed to tell anyone is he is in his late 50's and was having a relationship with a very immature 24 year old GO GO dancer who clearly was not in love with him. So just be careful what relationship advice you take on this site.

[elwood]

Family and friends are at the top of the list. Farang, husband or not, is at the bottom. When you were in the UK she only had the phone.... now its easy .

to be honest that statement is rubbish ,my wife treats me as well as any member of her familly ,if not better ,all of my friends who are married to Thai women say the same and from my observations it seems right .

i dont know who the whingers on these boards married but its certainly not the sort of Thai women that i have ever met.

as for the original poster ,no sex in 5 years? ever thaught she never loved you? how about divorcing her and finding a decent woman who will treat you respectfully.

I agree with you.

There is no doubt that in my marriage, I am first, as I am her closest family now.

She is first for me because she is my closest family now.

My wife hate the freeloading distant relatives that once in a while try to borrow money.

Her brother was in (finacially) trouble some time back, and she told him to deal with it.

She got upset when I suggested to maybe help a little?

She is a housewife, and get annoyed if I try to "invade" her turf.

My job is to provide money she says, and her job is to provide for me when I am home.

Only thing I am allowed to do is to make myself sandwitches, or if I will cook a big farang meal.

Still she hangs over me to observe, so eager to help out.

My God have I met the right one.

I feel I won the lottery sometimes.

Well said Traveller, and a few others who don't jump on to the anti-Thai women bandwagon. I've been married 19 years, my wife went to work when I was made redundant, then nursed me through a heart attack and subsequent bypass operation. And family are close, but any problems are dealt with as a family, not with the onus on me to pay out.

I'm not saying she is perfect, or all Thai women are angels, but it's rather pathetic when so many expats churn out the same never ending comments against Thai women.

Elwood.

[BEENTHEREDONETHAT]

Buy some nice trendy new clothes, aftershave ect... Maybe a haircut, a new look for yourself.

Let the dirty dishes pile up, let the dirty washing pile up, and get yourself out for a few nights out... Honest, I bet it will make you feel a lot better, and then she might start to think about the way she is treating you,.

Good luck.

I agree with pattaya-girl do the above + find mia noi to fill the needs she does not care to, if that does not work dump her and keep the mia noi .

[CrossBones]

hi fred i think you will not be alone i am sure there are many farang's not happy with there situation albiet for different reasons than yours. i think you need to speak with your wife and tell her how you feel and what is bothering you. ps 5 years is to long get that sorted out. my pet hate with my wife (1 of many) is when we go to her parents home and i can sit there for 2 hours without someone asking me a single question. no i dont speak thai well enough for conversation but my wife can speak good english. best of luck fred it can be a lonely place at times

Language is not a problem at all my wife speaks english very well she teaches english. Just me being ignored but never mind

She doesnt love you any more.

Take her on a holiday and choose a good moment to have a proper conversation and explain you are thinking of leaving her because you too are not happy with the situation. Say you want to give it a chance, and can you both make some changes to get everything right.

B prepared to make some changes and expect her to as well.

If nothing changes, leave.

There is more to life than love. You could be in love again a few months later.

[snuggzzz]

I do understand the OP's position as it happened to a friend of mine, he found himself initially helping the family out domestically, in order to be seen to fit in with the family. It came to a point that he found having displayed these 'skills' he was expected to carry on doing them. As for the sex part, 5 years is a long, long time.

It would be better to challenge his wife away from the family environment in order to find out her true feelings about him and the situation. I wonder what the age difference there is, if any, that may be a factor in her denial to be affectionate; it may be that she has him where she wants him........tied to the sink doing her job...!!

[ozzieovaseas]

I do understand the OP's position as it happened to a friend of mine, he found himself initially helping the family out domestically, in order to be seen to fit in with the family. It came to a point that he found having displayed these 'skills' he was expected to carry on doing them. As for the sex part, 5 years is a long, long time.

It would be better to challenge his wife away from the family environment in order to find out her true feelings about him and the situation. I wonder what the age difference there is, if any, that may be a factor in her denial to be affectionate; it may be that she has him where she wants him........tied to the sink doing her job...!!

Hehe....If that doesnt bring the fem lib cavalry out nothing will

One case where you can say lucky TiT

[barky]

What are you still in this relationship for????

Get out of it now!

Don't be a sap.

[mooncake]

Sadly we will never get to hear from the “wife”.

I for one would love to hear about…how they met, courting time before marriage, and why did he “really choose to marry her”-aka-what attributes that sealed the deal in the firs place….?

It’s difficult for me to believe that…. he didn’t know some of these behaviors before he married her, or what may be the leading causes…

[mooncake]

... I have noticed many times the woman seems to respect you more here when you do put your foot down. Sadly.

Oh sadly

Can I assume here, you are no longer married?

[MiG16]

Buy some nice trendy new clothes, aftershave ect... Maybe a haircut, a new look for yourself.

Let the dirty dishes pile up, let the dirty washing pile up, and get yourself out for a few nights out... Honest, I bet it will make you feel a lot better, and then she might start to think about the way she is treating you,.

Good luck.

The pain of staying sounds like its greater than the pain of leaving.

You may have wasted 5 years...but don't waste any more.

Good Luck.

Perhaps,after 5 years is about time OP asks himself how long he can endure this situation.

It seems obvious she does not love him,and it's not going to get better.

Maybe time to look for a good lawyer?

Your in love

She doesn't even respect you.

OP, I think you have received, in addition to the ones I quote above, some possible options on what you can do to make things better - if you still choose to remain together. on the other hand, your other option is as suggested by the ones I quote above.

It doesnt seem likely anyone can offer any other solution to this scenario.

on that note, and due to lots of cleaning up other MODs have had to do on this thread, Im closing it

my words: love is a strong emotion, and it makes you want to do things for the ones you love. but it cant be sustained long term if its one sided. and dont forget, you need to love yourself as well. its not about being selfish, but if she doesnt show you the kind of respect and the care that a partner should extend each other (both ways!) then you need to reevaluate and make some decisions, even if that involves choosing other things over her.

all the best.