Child Custody Incited Needed!

[danosdehmanos]

ok! this is my first post here but I have been reading here for years now i hope you guys can help!... here is the dilemma!

Recently I married a thai woman with a child from another man who just so happens to be Farang as well...

I have read many topics here and have learned a great deal about the legitimizing of fatherhood...

before I go any further I should explain that I have known my wife now for quite some time and love her to death... I have also grown to love her daughter as if she was my own as well... The father of the child is a financial supporter of the child but neglects her... he is an awefull drunk who's partakes in habitual long night binges of alchohol, cocaine, and god knows what else...he is rarely sober enough to be rational.... my wife realized she had been dragged into a very dangerous lifestyle trying to make the relationship work which lead to her following similar patterns but was always the one to take care of the child... when she left she was forced to allow the father to retain the child due to financial reasons... the two were never married or engaged... since she left the house the father relied solely on a nanny to take care of the child aside from when my wife and eventually myself came to visit... this was a pre existing arrangement between the two so I have no say in the matter.. it is something I never liked but it was the reality of the situation when I came into the picture and there wasnt much I could do to change that...aside from how much contact with him was too much... We visit almost daily with a few lapses inbetween for buisness or other legitimate reasons...

Now.. recently me and my wife suspect that the father of the child has begun plans to make a power play against custody of the child... as it stands the father and mother had never visited an amphur to register the child under both parents and the child was never registered through the fathers embassy... I understand that at this point it the father must be angry because the current situation will be out of his full control soon... I am all for joint custody provided the guy clean his act up and start showing that he actually cares about whats best for her except on the occasion it makes him look bad if he doesnt... but right now I may be forced to act...

I had advised my wife to take the child to get a Thai passport immediately based on things ive read here on this forum... I am unsure if she can obtain one without the fathers signature as well... currently under the law she has 100% custody due to the fact the fathers legitimacy was never registered regardless of whats on the birth certificate... however I have read that she can and it will go to prove that she is the sole custodial parent of the child... Im hoping that if this is possible then it will go to protect us from a forced custody hearing... it is of course inevitable... despite how many problems the guy has... it is plainly obvious that he does love his child... even if he doesnt know what to do with her or how to raise her properly... I always say... if you cant take care of yourself... you will be doomed in taking care of anyone else...

Right now seems to be his opportune moment to strike because we are both new to marriage and are still laying foundation... I receive a pention due to disability and currently my wife is out of work but looking feverishly.... we are not 100% stable yet... I dont believe the father knows much about thai law or courts so he assumes he can just walk in and slander my wife into submission because we havent built a credible record as a unit yet... we can prove that we visit almost every day and support her financially.... one plus for us is that the father is currently out of work as well and apparently has been doing some illegal activities (other than drugs) that we can prove in court...

the whole thing is an awefull mess... and I would appreciate some perspective from you guys should you have some to offer...

Cheers,

Danny

[Mario2008]

At this moment the father has no legal status, as he didn't legitimized the child. The child only has a legal mother and the mothers nationality. As the daughter has no legal fahter, she does not have the fathers nationality. having a Thai passport is of no concern, as it is her birth certificate that shows she is Thai.

The mother has sole custody. That means that under Thai law she can decide where the child lives. The fahter don't have any say in this. She can just take the child back from the father, if necesary with the help of the police. Anybody oreventing her from taking her child can be in serious trouble with the law.

The father can file for to be recognised as the legal father, there is nothing that the mother can do against that if he is indeed the biological father. However, being recognised as the father does not mean the father will also get joint custody over the child. That is a separete issue against which the mother can object. (Legitimisation does mean the father can be aske to pay child support).

If use of drugs and alcohol can be proven, the father can forget about getting joint custody.

If there is fear that there will be a battle over custody, I alwasy advise to keep a diary and log what you your self do regardingthe child and how the father is behaving. Especialy if he appears to be drunk etc.

But do take the welfare of the child into consideration. Most times a child is better of knowing both parents and if it is possible to come to soem arrangement with the father that woud be best. That doesn't mean that the father should have custody, but some form of visitation.

[danosdehmanos]

what a complicated mess... the power play I mentioned would involve him trying to get a visa extension as being a supporter of the child... I know for a fact that he can not do this without the consent of the mother or court... and who knows about his finances (40k baht pm req.)... he is currently unemployed from what i understand... neither one of us are willing to entertain either idea (consent or court) I belive it is his intention to pressure us into doing what he wants by threatening court... I'll gladly go to court over legitimization... but it is unclear to me if we have a case to deny him seeing as my wife and him have a pre-existing mutual agreement of custody...

I have heard many stories about legitimization and from what I understand of the written law is that when a parent has been legitimized he receives rights according to his family position (father here) IE they are equal partners in the parenting/custody of the child regardless of marital status or relationship with the mother... I do know that every step has like three layers of bureaucracy attached to it... and he cant do anything without her...

Uggghhhh...

[Mario2008]

As said, right now the father is a nobody. He has no rights what so ever for the simpel fact that he isn't the father as far as the law is concerned. The mother is the one who holds custody and she can do all things herself and doe not need to cunsult with the biological father.

It is the fther who has to go to court, not the mother. Only when the father also files for (joint) custody would the mother need to go to court and contest it.

Only when the child is legitimised at birth does the father automatically receives joint custody with the mother.

[sinbin]

Cancelled comments

Edited September 25, 2009 by sinbin

[Garret]

In order to be able to stay in Thailand because you are supporting a child here I believe the applicant must have 400 ,000b in the bank or a work permit. from the sound of things he might not meet the requirements.......Also It has been my experience that the Thai court will tend to favor the Mother if the the Mother has been taking care of the kid the whole time. They will not want to see the kid made to suffer. I had found the court to be pretty fair in general. If you do suspect criminal activity on the part of the father maybe you could bring that into the open ...could be a dangerous street though. Drunken drug users dont often make the best parents. I am sure you will find a lot of support.