trevorg Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 Help please! My stepson (17) has stole alot of valuables (2 x mobile phones, DVD player etc) and cash from me (my locked room at home) in the last few months for drugs, but has denied it up til yesterday! We have had some work being done on the house and no proof as to who may have stole previously!) I read a similar topic a couple of months ago and some people gave some recommendations for 'rehab' temple places that may be able to help! His Dad, and Grandad gave him a beating yesterday (I wasn't invited, and was glad I stayed away) and they want to send him to 'prison'/ borstal/ army camp. It was my stuff he stole and I'm furious but I'd like to help, he's had his 'immediate' punishment! They had my stepdaughter begging them not to kill him! I tried search, but couldn't find the topic! Direction to the topic or any other advice, please! Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alyx Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 Sad situation I made a search typing rehab thailand and I have got some results One website seems interesting in your case I hope I have the right to copy paste it and that you will find some help http://www.rehab-center.com/rehab_bangkok.htm PS: no beating is helpful nor pitiness in theses cases Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alyx Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 They have a phone number and you may contact them through e mail Whatever you decide it is a tough decision either way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trevorg Posted October 7, 2009 Author Share Posted October 7, 2009 Thank you for your response alyx! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trevorg Posted October 7, 2009 Author Share Posted October 7, 2009 Alyx, I found the original thread in Similar topics below mine - it was in Family and Children! Thanks again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alyx Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Alyx, I found the original thread in Similar topics below mine - it was in Family and Children! Thanks again! Good I hope everything is going to be fine Take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayjayjayjay Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Alyx, I found the original thread in Similar topics below mine - it was in Family and Children! Thanks again! Good luck chief, you've got a long road ahead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CWMcMurray Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 (edited) I am sorry to hear about your situation and just like rehab anywhere else in the world, the only way there is any chance of it working is if the adict has a serious desire to make it work. I just hope your stepson has reached that point. If not, the Army idea is not a bad one... it may help to put him in a different situation where he will not have any contact with his "freinds" or access to Drugs. One would hope that he would be able to meet a new group of friends who are drug free. I would say prison is the last resort... Edited October 7, 2009 by CWMcMurray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Latindancer Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 I second that. Coming back and seeing the same friends, and being in the same places, will make it too easy for a relapse to occur. You may like to point this out to his father. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassienie Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 (edited) Help please!My stepson (17) has stole alot of valuables (2 x mobile phones, DVD player etc) and cash from me (my locked room at home) in the last few months for drugs, but has denied it up til yesterday! We have had some work being done on the house and no proof as to who may have stole previously!) I read a similar topic a couple of months ago and some people gave some recommendations for 'rehab' temple places that may be able to help! His Dad, and Grandad gave him a beating yesterday (I wasn't invited, and was glad I stayed away) and they want to send him to 'prison'/ borstal/ army camp. It was my stuff he stole and I'm furious but I'd like to help, he's had his 'immediate' punishment! They had my stepdaughter begging them not to kill him! I tried search, but couldn't find the topic! Direction to the topic or any other advice, please! Thanks! I am no expert on drug addicts, but I’ll throw in my 200 bahts worth anyway. Firstly, we need to know how your stepson obtained his drugs, who supplied them and what sort of crowd is he mixing with. This is necessary because you need to somehow disassociate him from bad influences and these people. That’s the first step. Second: rehab is a must, in order to try and kick the habit. Rehab would be a waste of time if you don’t disassociate him from the source of the problem, his mates and drug buddies or even yourself or other members of the family if they use drugs. Otherwise if the rehab is successful, your stepson will return back to the source again, restarting the process. As for the stealing, sadly the drug addition takes over and they’re life begins to revolve around the drug habit. Obtaining the drugs and the finance to support the addition becomes first priority and all else is irrelevant to them. Drug addition is a disease and not just a social habit, this is what is needed to be understood, rather than threatening your stepson with prison or beatings which is pure ignorance on the part of yourself for looking the other way when the boy was being abused and that of the perpetrators of the abuse, the family. This will only have the affect of driving the lad more apart from you, becoming depressed and delving further into his drug addition or worse. These people require love, concern and patience, not incarceration and beatings. Give him a reason and an incentive, other than fear to help him give up drugs. Drug takers need support, not punishment, the same as for anyone who is ill. You have a long task ahead and wish you all success. Edited October 7, 2009 by sassienie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OxfordWill Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 What drug(s) is he addicted to, do you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trevorg Posted October 7, 2009 Author Share Posted October 7, 2009 Oxford Will - As far as what drug - I'm not sure but I'm guessing he's smoking methamphetamine - I will try and find out later! Unfortunately I speak very little Thai as I've not been here long and we only found out Monday. sassienie - Unfortunately there was nothing I could do about the beating - it didn't happen at my house and I didn't know it was going to happen. I sat down with my girlfriend and him late last night and we had a long discussion about his options - and getting him away from the source is obviously the first priority, he seemed to understand the severity of his situation and I think was 'grateful' (if that's the right word) that we hadn't just called the police after he admitted both the drug taking and theft. He and a couple of friends have been crossing the border to Cambodia (we're only a few km's away) to partake - and we know this because when my girlfriend and ex-husband went looking for him as he'd been out all day Monday and another mobile phone was stolen Sunday night they found our scooter 'hidden' in some woods close to the border. We are taking our time to decide the best course of action and I agree that incarceration without rehab would lead to more problems. Thank you all for taking your time to share your thoughts. I will try and keep you updated on how this sorry situation progresses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maizefarmer Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 I am sorry to hear about your situation and just like rehab anywhere else in the world, the only way there is any chance of it working is if the adict has a serious desire to make it work. I just hope your stepson has reached that point. If not, the Army idea is not a bad one... it may help to put him in a different situation where he will not have any contact with his "freinds" or access to Drugs. One would hope that he would be able to meet a new group of friends who are drug free. I would say prison is the last resort... I'd go along with that ...... get him off whatever he's abusing then ship him off somewhere - where ever... to the army, which will drum some discipline into him and keep him away from the influences and enviroment that are associated with the problem and the behaviour. The problem with addiction and behaviour issues is that none of them work unless the individual is willing to co-operate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
senshusband Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Wow. That is one issue that a parent is faced with that would almost seem to be the hardest to deal with. If the young man really understands his problems, perhaps looking into spiritual intervention by monks for about a month. Then drug rehab. Making sure that he is isolated from the friends that he participated with is essential. I can't say really what to do, because if I really knew, I'd be rich. I fully support time with some monks, though. They are pretty enlightening. Best of Luck to you and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xerostar Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 I had a similar problem with my stepson. (reported in a thread some 2 years back). The neighbours reported having a break-in and some gold stolen. We doubted there was any gold because the family were poor (they used the situation to get the best out of it). However, everyone seemed to know it was our son who was involved, with his mates. The police were informed by the neighbour of course. They took it very seriously and even showed up with a fingerprint expert who did find his fingerprints in the house. They gave him a sort of suspended sentence "outpatient" course at a borstal some 65 Km from here. He had to attend for lectures every day for 2 weeks and then had to report back every 3 months to the regional police. If his name came up again, for any offence - he would be sent to the borstal full-time. It was very annoying driving all that way every day and hanging around waiting for him to finish his daily course. He was very light-hearted about it all and even enjoyed the extra attention - the smart-arse that he is at only 14. So he has been a "good" boy since then, although he is still a lay-about, good for nothing, little shit. Problem is, his mother thinks the sun shines out of his arse! Anything I say gets the silent treatment for a day or so .. I can't speak much Thai otherwise I'd let have a real tongue lashing. I'm almost tempted to flatten him physically but I know that will just make things worse. You know how frustrating it is .. I expect he still needs to learn his lesson properly and one day he will. We hope to get him into the army as soon as it's possible. A bit of tough discipline and to learn genuine self respect is what he needs. Maybe then he will begin to respect others. I live in hope .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lazygourmet Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 Agreed with sassienie, and Wat Thamkrabok is coming directly to my mind... My long time friend Phra Erik is already handling several similar case. Especially dealing with meth addict teenagers Fell free to PM me or contact him directly as he is a member of this forum Hope it helps & all the best... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bifftastic Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 Help please!My stepson (17) has stole alot of valuables (2 x mobile phones, DVD player etc) and cash from me (my locked room at home) in the last few months for drugs, but has denied it up til yesterday! We have had some work being done on the house and no proof as to who may have stole previously!) I read a similar topic a couple of months ago and some people gave some recommendations for 'rehab' temple places that may be able to help! His Dad, and Grandad gave him a beating yesterday (I wasn't invited, and was glad I stayed away) and they want to send him to 'prison'/ borstal/ army camp. It was my stuff he stole and I'm furious but I'd like to help, he's had his 'immediate' punishment! They had my stepdaughter begging them not to kill him! I tried search, but couldn't find the topic! Direction to the topic or any other advice, please! Thanks! Firstly, can I say that I sympathise with your situation, it must be heart wrenching for you. I have done some drug counselling in the Uk and worked in a prison for three years and so, have a little experience of youngsters that use drugs. I used them myself when i was your stepson's age. I realise that the circumstances, peer pressures etc. may be different in Thailand but I think you are taking the right approach. With regard to the beating he's already got, well, whilst you may not agree with it, he was probably expecting it and now fully understands how disappointed everyone is with his behaviour. The next few weeks/months are crucial if this young lad is not to go completely off the rails. One of two things can happen when someone realises that what was, at first, something he did for whatever reason with his mates, has now alienated his entire family and he has now been labelled, either by others or himself, as an outcast, someone who has betrayed everyone's trust. It is vital that after everyone's understandable anger has subsided that he knows that he is still a much loved and cared for family member. If the seperation of him from the family is allowed to take root in his mind he will come to terms with that much more easily than he will come to terms with his addiction. I agree that it will be hard for him to remain in touch with his drug-taking mates and not relapse. I'm not sure what kind of relationship you or any other family members have with him and his mates but it would be helpful to talk to them too if you can. Try to avoid the 'we are his parents all drugs are wrong you're all criminals' type of stance, whilst it may be true it will re-enforce the teenage rebellion mentality which has already developed. It is hard to comment on further detailed ideas as I don't know any of the people involved but the most important thing is for everyone to try and talk about all the issues involved without any more anger. So that the boy can be open and honest now, where before he was deceitful and secretive. This will make him understand he has f*cked up royally but is still loved and cared for by his family. It will be hard, for you and for him. I hope you all make it. You may not believe it now but if handled sensitively this may make your family stronger. I hope these few words can be of some assistance, please feel free to pm me Regards, Biff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bangkokrick Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 I am sorry to hear about your situation and just like rehab anywhere else in the world, the only way there is any chance of it working is if the adict has a serious desire to make it work. I just hope your stepson has reached that point. If not, the Army idea is not a bad one... it may help to put him in a different situation where he will not have any contact with his "freinds" or access to Drugs. One would hope that he would be able to meet a new group of friends who are drug free. I would say prison is the last resort... If you want they guy to get beaten to shit the do the above. I have a Thai friend with almost an identical problem. The final straw came when the son beat up his dad quite badly, under the influence of some drug. We guess meth. He was sent straight to the army so that he could be straightened out and they did just that. He was bullied and beaten almost daily for 3 months. He is now out and in a worse condition than when he went in there. Terrified, paranoid and that's without the drug. Good luck, Cheers, Rick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harcourt Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 Drug addiction needs rehab, for sure, but don't underestimate a dam_n good beating for his thievery! All this PC nonsense about treating the thief with kid gloves!!??! Do you think he has ever stolen from his father, or ever will? No? Why? Because he knows and fears the consequences. At this point, although he may appreciate you for your efforts to treat his drug problem, you are still a soft touch that he has no respect for. It's too late now to do anything, but if he steals again, from anyone, blood his nose or blacken his eye, show him who's boss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
way2muchcoffee Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 There is really nothing to be done that will have any effect on the boy. He will choose what he will choose. No monk, treatment center, tough love, soft love, AA, physical isolation, separation, or anything else will provide a magic fix for the boy. Only he can fix himself. The best that loved ones can do is to protect and insulate themselves from the runoff damage his behavior causes. That's it. He'll either sort himself or he won't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trevorg Posted October 14, 2009 Author Share Posted October 14, 2009 Thank you for your varied thoughts. We have still not decided the way forward - he has been banned from the house and is staying with his grandparents nearby for now, and is staying away from his friends. I'll keep you posted with further developments when they occur. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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