Not Sure About Tha Girl

[cyb]

Are you suggesting that all BGs never fall in love and never want their own family or their own husband ?

Many Farangs try to dehumanise Bargirls, maybe it makes Farangs feel less guilty when they travel across the globe to exploit the situation that exists in Thailand and other poor nations.

They wouldn't do it in their own countries, yet are willing to travel 1000's of Kms to pay poor women for sex, then lay the blame firmly at the door of the people they seek to exploit. Maybe it makes themselves feel better about their actions.

Personally, I have no pity for any ST that gets fleeced, I have seen enough Thai women get exploited and abused by Farangs, yet these stories are not acceptable by many, again, it's the them and us thing, them being the evil Thai women, us being the honourable Farangs..

If it wasn't so frickin' sad, it would be funny.

Finally a farang with some compassion and feeling for these thai girls.

Well put Maigo6.

Notice no sarcasm smiley.

[skybluestu]

Are you suggesting that all BGs never fall in love and never want their own family or their own husband ?

Many Farangs try to dehumanise Bargirls, maybe it makes Farangs feel less guilty when they travel across the globe to exploit the situation that exists in Thailand and other poor nations.

They wouldn't do it in their own countries, yet are willing to travel 1000's of Kms to pay poor women for sex, then lay the blame firmly at the door of the people they seek to exploit. Maybe it makes themselves feel better about their actions.

Personally, I have no pity for any ST that gets fleeced, I have seen enough Thai women get exploited and abused by Farangs, yet these stories are not acceptable by many, again, it's the them and us thing, them being the evil Thai women, us being the honourable Farangs..

If it wasn't so frickin' sad, it would be funny.

Best post I've seen on here for a long time and a nice change from the usual rants about how evil all Thai women are and that none can be trusted etc ec etc

[lioness]

Martin

you have perhaps a one in a million chance of any of this being true. She says she has quit her job, gone home to the farm, quite likely she tells all the farangs this. This is what the most of them say, Save yourself a whole heap of heartache and money and end it now.

Maybe martin is a young stud. ????

Okay then, this from my Thai husband, " This man Stoopid, Yes".

[sokal]

Are you suggesting that all BGs never fall in love and never want their own family or their own husband ?

Many Farangs try to dehumanise Bargirls, maybe it makes Farangs feel less guilty when they travel across the globe to exploit the situation that exists in Thailand and other poor nations.

They wouldn't do it in their own countries, yet are willing to travel 1000's of Kms to pay poor women for sex, then lay the blame firmly at the door of the people they seek to exploit. Maybe it makes themselves feel better about their actions.

Personally, I have no pity for any ST that gets fleeced, I have seen enough Thai women get exploited and abused by Farangs, yet these stories are not acceptable by many, again, it's the them and us thing, them being the evil Thai women, us being the honourable Farangs..

If it wasn't so frickin' sad, it would be funny.

Good point, dehumanise is the right word.

[yabaaaa]

Come on Martin Im only here for the photos???

[stevymac]

trust ur instincts if something doesnt fit right 9 times out of 10 ur probably right. Alot of ppl on ere will say she is just out 4 ya money but maybe she does just want u an not ur money. only u can judge as none of us on ere have ever met the girl so like i said just go with ya instinct

[IanForbes]

In the off chance that the original post was not a troll, I'll answer in a sensible manner.

The reason why there are so many sarcastic and negative replies is this story has been replayed hundreds of times over on thaivisa forums. A simple search back a page or two will bring back many such topics.

Thai bar girls are not really a lot different than women everywhere, in any country. And, the participants who frequent the bars these girls work at are on a similar moral level. Without the customers there wouldn't be the women working the bars. Love for sale has been going on for many centuries and isn't likely to ever change. And, there are many different degrees of "love for sale"; some even include marriage.

There are basically three types of women who work the bar scene with customers. There are the real cute ones who enjoy the excitement and the attention. They can make good money from what they would be doing anyway. They are so hardened to the "Scene" that dishonesty is just part of their life. If they can juggle several different dumb farangs at the same time then they will do so. And, considering that many men don't think out of the head on their shoulders, the pretty women have a never ending supply of suckers. Those are the gals that most of the jaded men on this forum are referring to.

Then, there are the gals who are uneducated and can't earn a good enough wage at another job. Most have children and a family back home who needs the money. Most of them are hardened to the life but would really rather be doing something else. Most of these women would actually LIKE to meet the RIGHT man and settle down, but that is very hard to do... considering their life style. The unfortunate part is the difficulty of getting out of the trade. The women have been hurt so often (mentally and physically) that they can't trust anyone. And, trust is one thing necessary to sustain a long relationship.

Then there are the women who are so desperate that they will do anything. Some are on drugs and some have other addictions. Most are pretty sad creatures that very few men will have anything to do with.

I won't get into a fourth group who work the brothels and are basically slaves to a Thai mafia. Most farangs don't even get to see them because they stay off the beaten path and service the Thai men.

A few women who work the bars actually DO meet the RIGHT man and settle down. Many make very good wives for men who are tolerant and can adjust to a Thai life style. But, that is very hard to do and it takes the right mix of people. I've met and known a few of the lucky ones and I always wish them well. Some were my former lovers, and they have now met a nice expat who loves them. I hope they have a long and happy life together. One thing I DON'T do is act like I've known the women before. I let sleeping dogs lie.

[cyb]

Nicely put Ian and very true, But as i am sure you will know there will be those that don't agree with you.

As for the op there is too many holes in his story to make it believable.

[Maejo Man]

Be careful. Some of these gals are pro in having multiple farage boyfriends and they also look very innocent. So watch yourself and especially your valet

What's his valet got to do with the price of hay? I'm sure his valet is old enought to find his own ladies

[h90]

"..............................................................she returned to her familys farm.................................................i have spoken to most of her family on the phone they are really genuine and nice people (dad,mum,sister,brother,cousins)......................................"

You didn't mention that you speak Thai, Martin.

Or..........errrrm.........does her entire, rural, family..........ummm...........speak.........errrrrrr.......English?

No but at the bar there are for sure some people who are ready to speak English, and if it is just for they are allowed to take out the chicken cd....

By the way how is the buffalo, I got told in the rainy season they get sick easily.

[bonobo]

Personally, I have no pity for any ST that gets fleeced, I have seen enough Thai women get exploited and abused by Farangs, yet these stories are not acceptable by many, again, it's the them and us thing, them being the evil Thai women, us being the honourable Farangs..

I am curious as to how so many Thai women get exploited and abused by farangs?  I am not saying it can't happen, but the mechanism for that just does not seem to be in place for this to be a major problem.  While the mechanism for the fleecing to go the other way is in place.  I am not saying it can't happen, and I may be really out-of-touch, but I just don't see it.  

And even if women do get abused, which is horrible, no question about that, how does that make it fine with you if a man is fleeced?  How are the two connected?

[Huey]

Are you suggesting that all BGs never fall in love and never want their own family or their own husband ?

Many Farangs try to dehumanise Bargirls, maybe it makes Farangs feel less guilty when they travel across the globe to exploit the situation that exists in Thailand and other poor nations.

They wouldn't do it in their own countries, yet are willing to travel 1000's of Kms to pay poor women for sex, then lay the blame firmly at the door of the people they seek to exploit. Maybe it makes themselves feel better about their actions.

Personally, I have no pity for any ST that gets fleeced, I have seen enough Thai women get exploited and abused by Farangs, yet these stories are not acceptable by many, again, it's the them and us thing, them being the evil Thai women, us being the honourable Farangs..

If it wasn't so frickin' sad, it would be funny.

"dehumanise" Bargirls? To relive guilt about coming to Thailand and buying sex?

I lived in Pattaya for 4 years, I don't think I ever once met someone who felt guilty for coming here unless he or SHE, was married.

Ok firstly whores are everywhere and in every country Thailand is no better or worse in that.

The big differences are as follows.

1) The price, much lower here. If comparable looking women in whatever country the ST was comming from were as cheap as they are here in Thailand then you would have allot less ST. But such is not the case so they Out Source. Just like Call centers in the US outsoruced to India, Is Dell expoliting the poor Indian Tech Support staff???

2) Bar Girls here generaly use their John's ignorance of their culture to go for the big score extortion and get them to marry and spend huge ammounts of money on them. I would bet a whore in the west would do the same thing to a forgien John if she could get away with it so I guess the only REAL difference is the price.

And by and large it is the BG that is the one doing the, theiveing, extorting, lieing, manipulating and all the other BS that they usually come with, while The ST only wants a peice of Azz and is honest about paying for it.

Honest customer , shady sales. That about sums em up. And the only ones I feel sorry for are the dumb guys that fall for a BG's tricks and the BG who gets beat or cheated by her John.

[PNGinBKK]

Be careful. Some of these gals are pro in having multiple farage boyfriends and they also look very innocent. So watch yourself and especially your valet

What has parking his car got to do with it?? Unless of course you were going for the obvious (albeit it I would have gone more with bikes and or horses) euphemism, in which case I beg your pardon and laugh out loud!

[Maigo6]

Personally, I have no pity for any ST that gets fleeced, I have seen enough Thai women get exploited and abused by Farangs, yet these stories are not acceptable by many, again, it's the them and us thing, them being the evil Thai women, us being the honourable Farangs..

I am curious as to how so many Thai women get exploited and abused by farangs?  I am not saying it can't happen, but the mechanism for that just does not seem to be in place for this to be a major problem.  While the mechanism for the fleecing to go the other way is in place.  I am not saying it can't happen, and I may be really out-of-touch, but I just don't see it.  

And even if women do get abused, which is horrible, no question about that, how does that make it fine with you if a man is fleeced?  How are the two connected?

OK,

I don't know how much Thailand experience you have, but I have lived here since 1990, I have taken care of Bars and have had a place in Pattaya for 19 years, so you could say I've been in the thick of things.

As to the exploitation issue, the simple reason being, that so many Farangs would never engage in such activities in their own countries, the simple reason being they couldn't afford it, and even if they could the social stigma maybe a little too much for them, what would Family and friends think?

So travelling to poor SE Asian countries is an option open to many people, and it is taken by many people too, if the Thai entertainment scene was as expensive as Japans, would hoardes of ST's travel here ?

The mechanism is not in place for hoardes of farangs to travel to poor countries to exploit the financially vulnerable people ? They are called Aircraft. Why are laws in place from western countries to prosecute their own citizens for sex abuse in SE Asian countries ?

Sex tourism is not a problem in Switzerland, or Monaco, can you tell me why ? Cos hoardes of people couldn't afford the prices, that's why, the old chesnut about how irresistable Asian women are doesn't wash with me either.

Does Tokyo have hoardes of sex tourists arriving daily ? No !! Plenty of Asian women there . Again, though Tokyo has as much and even more than Thailand has to offer, the fact is, your average joe from Idaho couldn't afford the prices.

I have seen abuse with my own eyes, I have seen abuse that I obviously cannot say here, I would be banned or suspended for sure, and I won't make stories up to satisfy the status quo of back slapping Farangs.

Are you out of touch, maybe. I only know it's not a one way street here, yes some Thai people are bad, but there are equally so many Farangs that are also bad or much worse.

I could tell you stories that would make your hair curl, but as they concern bad farangs, I would be considered a Troll or a Thai apologist, yet people who come on this Forum and make up stories about how bad Thai people are are accepted and welcomed by the back slapping membership.

Do you think these Thai girls dream of having a husband or boyfriend older than their Father ?

I don't see a huge problem of child sex tourists going to UK or Switzerland, yet Thailand and Cambodia are common places for arrests of such people, why ?

Maybe you cannot see the trend of economics, but I can, I see it from the ground, not the keyboard.

As to a ST getting fleeced by a girl he travelled 1000's of Kms to exploit, no, I see nothing wrong with that.

If he didn't think he could take advantage of her by financial means, I see no wrong in her thinking the same way !.

I feel sad for the old boys who are sucked in and lose everything, yet if they look deeply enough, they will see their own stupidity.

Every case is different, yet it seems that Thai women are ridiculed and dehumanised by so many here, I for one know it's not always the case that they're wrong.

You can nitpick my post for sure, but try nitpicking the thousands of posts that paint the Thais as being bad and the Farangs being the victims all the time.

Amen.

Edited November 9, 2009 by Maigo6

[GungaDin]

^^^ What a crock!

You should change your nic to *DOPs.

*Defender of Prostitutes.

[Huey]

I don't buy it Maigo6, You keep saying EXPLOIT, when "purchase the services of" would be much more appropriate, these guys don't come here and run up in the jungle to "Whatdaphukaburi" and drag girls down to Pattaya with dreams of working in a resturant or as a hotel staff, then pimp em out. No see that would be exploitation. These whores are already down here to sell their bodies, they already made that conscious decision on their own. The ST's are just customers. Do you exploit MC Donalds when you buy a dann cheeseburger???? No, so why are ST's Exploiting these girls.

On the other hand when they lie to and steal from the ST, that's extortion, but your cool with that right? Would it be your fault if you went to MC Donald's for that Cheeseburger and you opened up the bun and all you had was a slice of pickle and a few squirts of ketchup!

I totally respect your time in country Maigo6, I really do, but I don't buy the "poor BG line" for a second.

[Maigo6]

^^^ What a crock!

You should change your nic to *DOPs.

*Defender of Prostitutes.

Is that aimed at me ?

[ChangMaiSausage]

GungaDin you been burnt...........

I agree with what Maijo6 wrote just look around you when out, what do you see? You pays your money you take you chance.

DOF/T - Defender of fools/Tools

[Maigo6]

I don't buy it Maigo6, You keep saying EXPLOIT, when "purchase the services of" would be much more appropriate, these guys don't come here and run up in the jungle to "Whatdaphukaburi" and drag girls down to Pattaya with dreams of working in a resturant or as a hotel staff, then pimp em out. No see that would be exploitation. These whores are already down here to sell their bodies, they already made that conscious decision on their own. The ST's are just customers. Do you exploit MC Donalds when you buy a dann cheeseburger???? No, so why are ST's Exploiting these girls.

On the other hand when they lie to and steal from the ST, that's extortion, but your cool with that right? Would it be your fault if you went to MC Donald's for that Cheeseburger and you opened up the bun and all you had was a slice of pickle and a few squirts of ketchup!

I totally respect your time in country Maigo6, I really do, but I don't buy the "poor BG line" for a second.

Maybe that's because you don't have the experience that I have.

And to compare a human being with a hamburger actually shows that inexperience.

Why do rich western countries have laws that enable them to prosecute their own citizens for sexual offences commited overseas ?

Cos they happen, thats why, and poor countries are open to exploitation, if you can't see that then I see no point in any further comments from you.

This is not an anti Farang rant by me, it's just a plea to members here to try to see that these women are human beings too, you can't blame them for being born poor.

If they were born rich, you lot wouldn't be here in the first place.

The dehumanisation that I mentiojn does take place, and it does make it easier for people to do things that they would consider immoral or wrong against their own.

Look back in your history books, many peoples were dehumanised and logical cultured people thought it was OK to slaughter them.

Anyway, you know my feelings on this subject and I am pretty much a lone voice on this forum in such topics, so I'll leave it at this.

Just don't ever try to marry my Little sister !!

[JUDAS]

^^^ What a crock!

You should change your nic to *DOPs.

*Defender of Prostitutes.

If you are going to disagree with his post at least do it with some substance. Much of Maigo6's post is IMO credible though I wouldn't agree with all of it.

What I will say though is that I find Thai bashing much more acceptable to the membership here (generally)than many other subjects. Heaven help anyone here who is anti USA, gay, teacher bashing etc, though bash a Thai and it'll run run run.....

[Huey]

^^^ What a crock!

You should change your nic to *DOPs.

*Defender of Prostitutes.

If you are going to disagree with his post at least do it with some substance. Much of Maigo6's post is IMO credible though I wouldn't agree with all of it.

What I will say though is that I find Thai bashing much more acceptable to the membership here (generally)than many other subjects. Heaven help anyone here who is anti USA, gay, teacher bashing etc, though bash a Thai and it'll run run run.....

Whoa, hold on now, Who's bashing Thais??? No people are talking about prostitutes, which constitute only a very SMALL percentage of Thais no more or less than any other country I would imagine. Why would you equate all whore bashing with Thai bashing? Thats pretty ignorant if you as me. As if ALL Thais are hookers and ALL Farangs are Sex Tourists.

I Love Thailand and the pepole here and while I hate some of what goes on here I don't tolorate Thai Bashing... you can always look up my quotes in other threads that ARE Thai Bashing like the one about the former British Ambassidor to Thailand and his racisit remarks about Thai pepole.

[Huey]

I don't buy it Maigo6, You keep saying EXPLOIT, when "purchase the services of" would be much more appropriate, these guys don't come here and run up in the jungle to "Whatdaphukaburi" and drag girls down to Pattaya with dreams of working in a resturant or as a hotel staff, then pimp em out. No see that would be exploitation. These whores are already down here to sell their bodies, they already made that conscious decision on their own. The ST's are just customers. Do you exploit MC Donalds when you buy a dann cheeseburger???? No, so why are ST's Exploiting these girls.

On the other hand when they lie to and steal from the ST, that's extortion, but your cool with that right? Would it be your fault if you went to MC Donald's for that Cheeseburger and you opened up the bun and all you had was a slice of pickle and a few squirts of ketchup!

I totally respect your time in country Maigo6, I really do, but I don't buy the "poor BG line" for a second.

Maybe that's because you don't have the experience that I have.

And to compare a human being with a hamburger actually shows that inexperience.

Why do rich western countries have laws that enable them to prosecute their own citizens for sexual offences commited overseas ?

Cos they happen, thats why, and poor countries are open to exploitation, if you can't see that then I see no point in any further comments from you.

This is not an anti Farang rant by me, it's just a plea to members here to try to see that these women are human beings too, you can't blame them for being born poor.

If they were born rich, you lot wouldn't be here in the first place.

The dehumanisation that I mentiojn does take place, and it does make it easier for people to do things that they would consider immoral or wrong against their own.

Look back in your history books, many peoples were dehumanised and logical cultured people thought it was OK to slaughter them.

Anyway, you know my feelings on this subject and I am pretty much a lone voice on this forum in such topics, so I'll leave it at this.

Just don't ever try to marry my Little sister !!

I concead that I may not have as much experiance there as you.

However,

I don't know how much more experience I need to have man, as I said I lived in Pattaya for 4 years, been through tons of BGs, lived with em, cared for a few, some were honest, many where not. But at the end of the day I put them back were I found them when I was finished. Allot of guys make the mistake of not, and thats when they get burned.

But anyway I think my burger comparison is quite valid and I stand beside that...though I think a Cookie would be a better comparison, sweeter and such a treat

So if its a cookie and you bite into it and find no chocolate chips, and you paid for chocolate chips... hehe well you get the idea.

[GungaDin]

I thought we were supposed to discuss the OP's post, which as someone said, has more holes than Swiss cheese, and so far, the OP has not bothered to respond to the questions raised.

Me thinks, a Troll from over there....

Not a platform for Magoo's defense of Thai hookers.

[bonobo]

Personally, I have no pity for any ST that gets fleeced, I have seen enough Thai women get exploited and abused by Farangs, yet these stories are not acceptable by many, again, it's the them and us thing, them being the evil Thai women, us being the honourable Farangs..

I am curious as to how so many Thai women get exploited and abused by farangs?  I am not saying it can't happen, but the mechanism for that just does not seem to be in place for this to be a major problem.  While the mechanism for the fleecing to go the other way is in place.  I am not saying it can't happen, and I may be really out-of-touch, but I just don't see it.  

And even if women do get abused, which is horrible, no question about that, how does that make it fine with you if a man is fleeced?  How are the two connected?

OK,

I don't know how much Thailand experience you have, but I have lived here since 1990, I have taken care of Bars and have had a place in Pattaya for 19 years, so you could say I've been in the thick of things.

As to the exploitation issue, the simple reason being, that so many Farangs would never engage in such activities in their own countries, the simple reason being they couldn't afford it, and even if they could the social stigma maybe a little too much for them, what would Family and friends think?

So travelling to poor SE Asian countries is an option open to many people, and it is taken by many people too, if the Thai entertainment scene was as expensive as Japans, would hoardes of ST's travel here ?

The mechanism is not in place for hoardes of farangs to travel to poor countries to exploit the financially vulnerable people ? They are called Aircraft. Why are laws in place from western countries to prosecute their own citizens for sex abuse in SE Asian countries ?

Sex tourism is not a problem in Switzerland, or Monaco, can you tell me why ? Cos hoardes of people couldn't afford the prices, that's why, the old chesnut about how irresistable Asian women are doesn't wash with me either.

Does Tokyo have hoardes of sex tourists arriving daily ? No !! Plenty of Asian women there . Again, though Tokyo has as much and even more than Thailand has to offer, the fact is, your average joe from Idaho couldn't afford the prices.

I have seen abuse with my own eyes, I have seen abuse that I obviously cannot say here, I would be banned or suspended for sure, and I won't make stories up to satisfy the status quo of back slapping Farangs.

Are you out of touch, maybe. I only know it's not a one way street here, yes some Thai people are bad, but there are equally so many Farangs that are also bad or much worse.

I could tell you stories that would make your hair curl, but as they concern bad farangs, I would be considered a Troll or a Thai apologist, yet people who come on this Forum and make up stories about how bad Thai people are are accepted and welcomed by the back slapping membership.

Do you think these Thai girls dream of having a husband or boyfriend older than their Father ?

I don't see a huge problem of child sex tourists going to UK or Switzerland, yet Thailand and Cambodia are common places for arrests of such people, why ?

Maybe you cannot see the trend of economics, but I can, I see it from the ground, not the keyboard.

As to a ST getting fleeced by a girl he travelled 1000's of Kms to exploit, no, I see nothing wrong with that.

If he didn't think he could take advantage of her by financial means, I see no wrong in her thinking the same way !.

I feel sad for the old boys who are sucked in and lose everything, yet if they look deeply enough, they will see their own stupidity.

Every case is different, yet it seems that Thai women are ridiculed and dehumanised by so many here, I for one know it's not always the case that they're wrong.

You can nitpick my post for sure, but try nitpicking the thousands of posts that paint the Thais as being bad and the Farangs being the victims all the time.

Amen.

OK, different views on things.  You think that two adults don't have the ability to enter into one of these transactions without the female being, by definition, exploited.  I feel differently.  I will admit that I know very little of this life.  But i have known socially two women who are or were involved, and both of them were in it voluntarily.  So it is hard for me to fathom that they were in any way "exploited."

When I buy mushrooms Chinese mushrooms in Thailand, am I "exploiting" the Chinese farmers who work cheaper than the Thai farmers?  I am sorry, but to me, your economic arguments just don't make sense.

As far as my "mechanism," I meant the system, as you well know.  I was in the police station once after my car was booted when a Korean man and a ladyboy prostitute were brought in.  Turns out the Korean man did not want to pay once he realized that the ladyboy wasn't a woman.  The police not only made the man pay, they locked him up.  So that is what I mean about the mechanism being in place to protect the local workers.  What mechanism is in place to help some poor sap who while he maybe should have known better, is getting fleeced by a local pro?

If you have no compassion for someone foolish enough to fall in love, well, that is up to you.  But your attempts to make this a "farang bad, Thai good" and claiming everyone else is in the "Thai bad, farang good" camp is really grasping at straws.

And your jibes at TV moderation are not warranted.

[slapout]

A whore is a whore (paid for services rendered) no matter which country you live in or travel to. 29 years experience in Thailand as a punter or bar owner still qualifies anyone as a short timer in some eyes. The real difference seems to be how the girls look at their chosen profession, the johns, and social interaction. How many whores in your home country would ask you to go home with them for Sunday dinner? How many would you take home to meet you grandmother? The high dollar girls are no different than those recently out of the rice paddy ones, with possible exception of speech, table manners, dress, perceived self worth, etc. Bedside manners would probably be very similar and enjoyable. In my short time in Thailand, girls I have known, men I have listened to, etc, my humble take is that the girls here seem to have this idea that they can jump from hooker to girlfriend to wife to second/third wife, and back at their whim. For the unseasoned punter, husband, etc this can leave them in a real quandary. Mad as a jap/pissed off, etc for some of you newly arrived. You can call these women bar girls, free lancers, guides, receptionist, wives, etc but you will not change what they do for their livelihood. Its when they go past a certain mark, which society seems to set, that normal understanding and exceptions can be shattered. Granted my social group does not include a number of whores here or in other countries where I have lived and worked, but only here do I hear about 3 or more johns on a string by one girl who is married to a fourth.

[MrHammer]

Did someone really say that there isn't more prostitutes in Thailand than in other countries?

I feel sorry for those bargirls who stay in the business, it makes them hard. I think many bargirls has had too many bad experiences with men to be able to trust a man enough to fall in love, so the odds of a bargirl falling heads over heels in love is slim unless she is new to the job.

[F1fanatic]

The chances of any Thai woman falling in love with a farang are slim! Obviously it happens, but it is unusual (to say the least) for people from different cultures to fall in love - the differences in language and outlook/culture are too great. Just look at your home country - even when there is a large immigrant community, it is unusual to see mixed marriages.

Having said that, it doesn't mean all (obviously I'm not including those that are based on love between young, financially equal partners - only those based on money) farang/Thai relationships are doomed to failure. If the woman is desperate enough (too old/unattractive to be able to attract farang men anymore), then she may have enough sense to realise that this is her last chance, and do anything to please/convince her partner that she loves him. At least she stands some chance of a far better life than she could possibly have otherwise.

As long as an old farang believes she loves him (whereas he knows that he stands no chance with an equal, Western partner), then all is fine and the relationship could work. Both partners win.

[Nio]

Martin.. Thai visa is FULL of stories of farang like you who have fallen in love with a bar girl, and lived to regret it. You have fallen for her, and you WILL not listen to any advise anyway, you just want clarification that you are doing the right thing. Some farang marry bar girls and never have any problems, its just that those stories are rarely posted on Thai visa. Again, it seems you have fallen in love with her, and you will do what you will do regardless of advise..however, be careful and good luck

I agree with cognos 100%

[Nio]

First of all Thai girls go to the bar to support their families. They have no other skill to make money. Farmers to the Bar is a hint right there.

If she quit the bar as you claim, then she has no way to make money and support her family (unless she gets money from someone else other than you)

Unless you look like Brad Pitt and can offer her the (BBD) bigger and better deal, I cannot see this working out

As Cognos has pointed out, this scenario has been played out 1,000,000 times with very, very low success

Ask yourself how she is supporting herself with no money from you and no job?

Ask yourself what you could possibly give her that the other 1,000 farangs she went with in the bar couldn't give her?

Marry a girl on the farm be prepared to marry the whole family and if you cannot support them all, this will never work out.

Being lovestruck in Thailand is one thing, but mate, use the head on top of your shoulders and understand, even more than love, Thai girls need financial support.

The need for money is more important to them than selling themselves and that will never change

Think about that really hard.

There are 10,000,000 more girls still on the farm that would never work in a bar.

Don't fall for the first one.

If you would spend your holiday in Isaan and not Pattaya you would see for yourself.

Edited November 9, 2009 by Nio

[1752martin]

like i said this was my first time to thailand and just wanted some advice off of people who have had more experience in thailand and know what its all about like i said i have offered to send her money but she has refused i know eventually she will ask for money but hey whats 100 pound a month if it makes her life a little easier so be it, as for calling them hoares thats a bit strong alot of them are their for families and to survive maybe im a bit nieve about this but i like to treat people how im treated if she scams me so what i lose a bit of money,the ex wife took more than she could in a lifetime and,no i dont talk thai when i spoke to her mum,dad,sister,cousin or who ever they where) it wasnt a full blow conversation it was hello and how are u im under no illusions what she does for a job and where i met her,she has gone home until january to be with family and work on cousins farm ( maybe not )then she is going back to work in pattaya i appreciate most of the comments on here and will think about this before i do anything stupid just for the record im 36 and work fulltime not a 50 year old alcoholic as someone pointed out or sad, just a normal person ( what ever u call normal ) cheers martin. o and came someone tell me what a troll is please