Extreme Domestic Violence At Our Neighbours House

[Menny]

Hi everyone,

I am writing because we have quite a big problem and maybe some of you can help... by the way this is also my first post here - so "Hello everybody!".

A short while ago, there were some new neighbours moving in. At first everything seemed fine but then the trouble began. This family (Thai couple with two boys and a small baby) is just incredibly dirty. Their trash is in front of our house every morning and we pick it up and bring it to the bin since no one cares. That alone would not really be a big problem though. Let me get to the hardcore-part. This man (having a hard time calling him man...) is beating the hel_l out of his family every day. The two boys (about 6 and 8 years old) are his stepchildren - he hates them and all his frustration and sadness is beeing .

He would switch on loud music so we can`t hear their screams while he`s beating them. Its just such a horrible situation but wait - it gets even worse. He is beating them so strong, that the head of one of the boys was broken in the past. When his wife asks him not to beat them that strong, he beates her, kicks her and smashes everything in his house. Its hel_l only hearing their screams, believe me! Yesterday I saw her with blue legs, completely beaten up, barely able to walk with her small baby in her arms. He was beating her while she was pregnant and she beat her so strong, that she almost died and lost her baby. I feel nothing but hate for this man just for that.

If that would be it... He is producing and selling drugs, tons of young people are here everyday, "repairing their motorbikes" and making additional noise - noone cares if the baby screams its lungs out until his mouth is completely dry. If the husband sees the baby screaming, he shouts at his wife: "Why don`t you take better care off him?"

Dear people, I am completely tired of this all. The wife always comes back to him (How crazy must one be, not to protect at least the children as a mother?)

Is it an option going to the police? Tourist police maybe? Or are we in danger getting into some corrupted friend of this "man"? Everybody in the neigbourhood is just so careful with them and with the police. Sometimes I am really angry because the police is not thrustworthy but maybe you`ve had something similar and can help..

With best regards and thank you for any help!

 

[neverdie]

Firstly Menny,

I am suspicious of your post, it smells like a troll post, but I have been wrong in the past .

If this is a troll post, then SHAME ON YOU, this is not the sort of thing that should be joked about, Child Abuse and Domestic Violence is a very very SERIOUS matter.

If this is not a troll post, then you might like to explain to us how you know so much about this matter. You say they have just moved in but then you recount so much history with this family.....has someone in this abuse family confided in you??

[Menny]

neverdie said:

Firstly Menny,

I am suspicious of your post, it smells like a troll post, but I have been wrong in the past .

If this is a troll post, then SHAME ON YOU, this is not the sort of thing that should be joked about, Child Abuse and Domestic Violence is a very very SERIOUS matter.

If this is not a troll post, then you might like to explain to us how you know so much about this matter. You say they have just moved in but then you recount so much history with this family.....has someone in this abuse family confided in you??

What do you mean by troll post? Are there people who do jokes with this sort of things on the board? Let me assure you - you are wrong this time. I thought that someone might have had similar experiences in the past and so knew how one can solve such a problem in Thailand - so its specific. But anyway I understand your suspicion if there were Trollposts regarding such matter in the past - SHAME ON THEM! Could you tell me, why it smells like Trollpost please? I am actually sad, that this is the first response to such a serious matter - Am I under suspicion beeing a lyer here ??? If this is the case, there is no meaning in joing such a forum...

Back to the subject - I know first hand, how serious this topic is. From my own experience and now from hearing it everyday. Our neigbours live wall by wall so we hear the screams, we hear the man shouting and smashing stuff. We see the beaten up and crying wife, sometimes the whole house is shaking. More evidence needed to believe me? How I recount the history? This people have moved from another street (very close) next to our house. Several people are complaining about them beeing loud, beating their children, wife and pets...

Seeing and hearing this things with my own eyes and ears I simply believe those people around us (and there are many of them telling the same things...)

But this is not the base of my story. The base of my story is not what others stell but what I SEE and HEAR with MY OWN EYES and EARS everyday. Its hel_l, believe me that!

I never joke with topics like that!!! I lived through the same things with my family when I was small- way too serious about that.

Sorry If I might sound angry but this post is far to serious for me as that I could digest such a suspicion from your side easily. I am sure you understand that. We are in quite some trouble nowadays, can`t sleep and think constantly of solutions on how to help this woman with her babies.

Thanks for your answer anyway

 

[Menny]

thais know best. just stay away!

Yes, you might be right... but its so hard hearing their screams and the whole story without doing something. Even if we would move away, I would feel very bad. This man is terrifying the whole neighbourhood. Did you have a similar experience? Why should one stay away?

Thanks for your answer

[Arami]

Solution is either you had to put up with it or you move to another place to stay if the police or anyone cant help you.

[IanForbes]

If I knew for a fact that children are being abused then I would inform the police of several different detachments. You can't do anything to help a woman being abused because they usually side with the abuser. I don't have a clue how Thai police deal with domestic violence because I think it depends on the local detachment.

[neverdie]

Menny,

Don't take it personally, nobody here knows you and you arrive with a first post which touches many serious issues and one from what I know isnt taken as seriously in Thailand by the Authorities as it should be.

You will find alot posters here, will warn you to stay away and stay out of this, their advice isnt necessarily bad advice and possibly the best advice for you & keeping you distant from any retribution from this man or one of his friends.....having said that, I am sure you wouldnt feel too good waking up tommorrow or the next day to find out those poor children were slaughtered or the woman killed and you did nothing to perhaps make their situation better.

Personally after having dealt with many cases of domestic violence on a professional level I was never too concerned when dealing with cowards that beat up on women and children, normally they are gutless individuals who crumble and back off when they realise they are dealing with someone who is prepared to stand up to their bullying tactics.....this mans a COWARD, make no mistake about that.

I would get involved, but first I would do my research, perhaps try and make contact with one of the local Police and get some advice for around your area on who may be able to help out with this situation. At first if you are no confident with the Police you don't necessarily have to reveal who you are or whom you are talking about.

I take it you speak thai, if not, how does your wife or significant other feel about this situation. Are they willing to help out and perhaps assist you with getting some advice locally.

The other thing you need to keep in mind is often victims of Domestic Violence are too scared to speak out about their situation and you may find that this woman, mother of the children may not be forthright when spoken to about this matter. Has anyone in the neighbourhood tried to communicate with this woman in any way?

Again, dont be offended by my first response to you, however there are truely some first class idiots that come onto this forum and try to stir people up.

[Menny]

Moving to another place is of course an option. I think it will move in this direction anyway. If they don`t move, we will have to move. That doesn`t however solve the problem of those poor children and his wife. I guess, the police would just do nothing wahtsoever. Does anyone know if it maybe made sense involving the tourist police first? We are also afraid, because if this man knew that we do something, he probably would go for us... It makes me really sad, that this country doesn`t seem to offer any good help in those situations. Domestic violence occurs far too often here. Aren`t there any places for woman to go with their children if they need to fear for their life? Like a womans house for abused wifes and their children or something?

[mrtoad]

If you are renting then I would move. I'd also make a point of trying to report the behavior, but maybe through a Thai friend or a partner. If you are stuck there, then think the situation could be a bit sticky -but if there is certain child abuse going on then, you have a moral obligation to report that to the police.

[wintermute]

but if there is certain child abuse going on then, you have a moral obligation to report that to the police.

Average farang: Excuse me but there's a disturbance going on with my neighbors and I fear that there may be some domestic abuse going on

Thai police: *blank stare* No understand. Have problem?

Average farang: Yes, i'm afraid a woman is getting beat next door to me.

Thai police: *frowns* Thai woman beat you? *snickers and starts to doodle on notepad*

Average farang: no no no I mean a woman is getting hit by Thai man *mimes getting hit*

Thai police: Oh. *looks disappointed and bored*

[Menny]

neverdie said:

Menny,

Don't take it personally, nobody here knows you and you arrive with a first post which touches many serious issues and one from what I know isnt taken as seriously in Thailand by the Authorities as it should be.

You will find alot posters here, will warn you to stay away and stay out of this, their advice isnt necessarily bad advice and possibly the best advice for you & keeping you distant from any retribution from this man or one of his friends.....having said that, I am sure you wouldnt feel too good waking up tommorrow or the next day to find out those poor children were slaughtered or the woman killed and you did nothing to perhaps make their situation better.

Personally after having dealt with many cases of domestic violence on a professional level I was never too concerned when dealing with cowards that beat up on women and children, normally they are gutless individuals who crumble and back off when they realise they are dealing with someone who is prepared to stand up to their bullying tactics.....this mans a COWARD, make no mistake about that.

I would get involved, but first I would do my research, perhaps try and make contact with one of the local Police and get some advice for around your area on who may be able to help out with this situation. At first if you are no confident with the Police you don't necessarily have to reveal who you are or whom you are talking about.

I take it you speak thai, if not, how does your wife or significant other feel about this situation. Are they willing to help out and perhaps assist you with getting some advice locally.

The other thing you need to keep in mind is often victims of Domestic Violence are too scared to speak out about their situation and you may find that this woman, mother of the children may not be forthright when spoken to about this matter. Has anyone in the neighbourhood tried to communicate with this woman in any way?

Again, dont be offended by my first response to you, however there are truely some first class idiots that come onto this forum and try to stir people up.

Thanks for this answer. Thanks for your understanding and your good advise. I really appreciate that and I know fully understand your first comment. My god! If people troll with those things...I am speachless.

I do speak a little Thai and my wife is very concerned about this situation. As I mentioned - we are having a hard time finding sleep after hearing their screams.

I don`t understand, why she is forgiving him each time and staying with him. This can`t be love. It must be some sort of dependence - maybe fear for her family and her life...

I feel that I need to do something to help them. Moving away doesn`t make us feel better having seen such a violence. My wife says, that this is happening very often in Thailand. So I think that there must be some institutions to help. Do you know something about this?

Again, thanks for your understanding and your good reply! Sure, I am new here due to this thing...

Best regards

 

[neverdie]

Some thai stats on DV.

http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Domestic+vio...nd.-a0106028092

[dttk0009]

but if there is certain child abuse going on then, you have a moral obligation to report that to the police.

Average farang: Excuse me but there's a disturbance going on with my neighbors and I fear that there may be some domestic abuse going on

Thai police: *blank stare* No understand. Have problem?

Average farang: Yes, i'm afraid a woman is getting beat next door to me.

Thai police: *frowns* Thai woman beat you? *snickers and starts to doodle on notepad*

Average farang: no no no I mean a woman is getting hit by Thai man *mimes getting hit*

Thai police: Oh. *looks disappointed and bored*

Hahaha.

[bkkjames]

Neverdie would never start a troll topic like why are my stars missing or similar self indulging threads.

As for you situation, I am in agreement with Toady, make arangements to move if you can then do something about reporting the situation to the authorities. You are in a tough spot. I don't know how I could handle it quite frankly. Beating the family in front of me might make me get arrested.

[Menny]

but if there is certain child abuse going on then, you have a moral obligation to report that to the police.

Average farang: Excuse me but there's a disturbance going on with my neighbors and I fear that there may be some domestic abuse going on

Thai police: *blank stare* No understand. Have problem?

Average farang: Yes, i'm afraid a woman is getting beat next door to me.

Thai police: *frowns* Thai woman beat you? *snickers and starts to doodle on notepad*

Average farang: no no no I mean a woman is getting hit by Thai man *mimes getting hit*

Thai police: Oh. *looks disappointed and bored*

Your comment is quite funny and sadly realistic! I do understand the problem going to the police though. That`s why I am looking for some other ways to help. I am feeling that just doing nothing is kind of inhuman in the face of such a terrible agression isn`t it.

[neverdie]

I also found this paper

http://www.unifem-eseasia.org/resources/ot...DF/Thailand.pdf

which stated this:-

4. Availability of services

The following efforts have been made to provide services to victims of violence:

• One-stop crisis centers have been established in seven Bangkok hospitals and 21 provincial

hospitals to provide medical treatment, counseling, and consultations on social welfare and

legal matters. However, the centers require additional support in terms of personnel, budget,

and publicity.

• Centers for the Protection of Children, Youth, and Women within the Police Department were

established in 1998. Officers at the centers have received training to better understand the problems

being faced by these vulnerable groups. However, the availability of these protection centers

is extremely limited.

• The Ministry of Social Development and Human Security provides a 24-hour hotline staffed

by social workers and psychologists, nine shelters for children and families, four protection

and career development offices, and seven Women’s Aid and Career Training Centers.

• The Ministry of Education runs a Children’s Rights and Family Protection Center.

• The Bangkok Metropolitan Administration administers a Center for the Protection of Children’s,

Youths’, and Women’s Rights and a hotline service. In addition, each district office provides

inspectors for women’s and children’s security, including a complaint center that works

cooperatively with the local police, hospitals and other service units.

[neverdie]

Neverdie would never start a troll topic like why are my stars missing or similar self indulging threads.

As for you situation, I am in agreement with Toady, make arangements to move if you can then do something about reporting the situation to the authorities. You are in a tough spot. I don't know how I could handle it quite frankly. Beating the family in front of me might make me get arrested.

Well, I guess if they were troll threads Jimmy, then about 99% of the threads a troll threads.

Ohh and Jimmy, you might like to explain how running away and moving house is going to help this woman and her children?

The COWARD beating up women and children isnt someone I would be fearful of.

[dttk0009]

The last thing you want to do is intervene in a drug dealer's business. Those folks usually have enough connections to 'erase' you here without repercussion. If the noise is too much to bear you have no choice but to move. Sorry if it's painful to witness so much domestic abuse, but there really is close to nothing you can do to help. Things will have to run their course.

[quiksilva]

You MUST let someone know what's happening to those poor children.

However, I'd definitely move away, regardless. I certainly wouldn't want to live next to a guy like that especially as he is producing drugs.

In fact that might be the best tip off to the police that you can give, they will almost certainly investigate drugs, but move fast and move first, you and your family's safety is important too.

In my opinion its not worth putting his cowardice to the test, as he is obviously very violent. Also from the sounds of it he is wired up on all sorts of chemicals, which can certainly override feelings of cowardice and self preservation.

I don't need to tell you that drugs, and violence is not a good combination. Its also worth bearing in mind that his associates are probably cut from the same cloth, so beware.

You don't want to be seen as the enemy, get to safety and then report.

[neverdie]

Some more info for you OP & I highlighted some names of organisations or departments offering help to DV victims, I will try to get some contact information for you, Im only using google:

Violence against Women and Children

Violence against women and children is still a major problem. Many women and

children suffer from physical, emotional and sexual abuse within the family, at home,

in school, in the workplace and public place. Most offenders are family members or

acquaintances of the victims. To make the matter worse, many victims particularly of

domestic violence do not want to reveal the details of their ordeal to outsiders, partly

due to the social perception regarding this kind of violence a family matter and

outsiders should not get involve. Therefore, only reported cases might represent only

a small fraction of the real big problem.

6

The following are statistics obtained from various agencies and organizations:

1. Court: There were 2,817 cases in 1990 and increasing to 5,840 in 1997.

2. The Royal Thai Police: In 2004 there were 5,041 reported rape cases with

1,860 arrests or only 36.9 % of reported cases.

3. Department of Public Welfare: In 2000, there were 97 cases of child abuse

in Bangkok and 173 cases in rural areas. The cases included those

children who were physically or sexually assaulted and those who were

neglected. Most offenders were persons acquainted with the victims such

as parents, guardians, neighbors and teachers.

4. The Foundation for Women: From January to December 2000, there were

97 cases of sexual violence, 84 cases of domestic violence and 50 cases of

women who had been trafficked.

5. The Hotline Centre Foundation: From January to September 1999, They

were 480 persons asking for advice about domestic violence, as well as

383 cases concerning rape.

6. Friends of Women Foundation: From January to December 1997, there

were 1,057 requests for assistance and 1,000 in 1998, of which 80 %

involved in domestic violence and sexual violence.

[neverdie]

Our contact address:

Foundation for Women PO Box 47 Bangkoknoi Bangkok 10700 Thailand

Ph.(66-2) 433 5149 Fax. (66-2) 434 6774 Email: [email protected]

© by Foundation for Women

[neverdie]

Thailand

Hotline Center Foundation (HCF)

Address

Hotline Center Foundation (HCF)

145/6 Hotline Villa Viphavadi-Rangsit 20 Rd Chatuchak, Bangkok 10900 Thailand

Contact Information

If calling from Thailand:

Tel: 02 276 2950

Fax: 02 691 4057

[neverdie]

Friends of women Foundation Thailand

Address:

386/61-62 Ratchadaphisek 42, Ratchadaphisek Rd, Chatuchak

Bangkok Bangkok Metropolis

Thailand

Business Phone:

(662) 513 1001

[quiksilva]

While I am sure the OP appreciates the effort, what is he supposed to do with this info? Wave it in front of the guy in question?

I think the idea is so that he can help the woman in question to find a women's refuge centre.

[neverdie]

Start with your local Police OP, make sure you take a thai speaker with you, if you have no joy there you might like to talk to some of those other organisations about help.

It may also be well worth your while to make contact with this abused woman, naturally you would want someone who can speak thai to have a word with her and see where she sits with all of this.....surely this COWARD must leave the house from time to time?

[ThailandLovr]

While I am sure the OP appreciates the effort, what is he supposed to do with this info? Wave it in front of the guy in question?

Ok, Jimmy, you've made your so-called contribution to this thread. Neverdie is being helpful in any way he can. How about moving on to a new thread where maybe your "words of wisdom" will be more helpful ?

[Mrjlh]

Report it...simply as that. Got a video phone? camera with video? Video camera? Maker a recording from a safe distance but close enough for the BiB to see and get the picture. Show the address and street name. Then show it to the police. A Sargent or higher works best.

And all the people who say leave it alone, it's a Thai problem....I really wish I knew who you are so if I ever saw you laying, bleeding to death on the street I could always walk by and say...Oh!..it's a Thai problem, sorry.

[neverdie]

While I am sure the OP appreciates the effort, what is he supposed to do with this info? Wave it in front of the guy in question?

Ok, Jimmy, you've made your so-called contribution to this thread. Neverdie is being helpful in any way he can. How about moving on to a new thread where maybe your "words of wisdom" will be more helpful ?

Yes, well Ive tried to provide the OP with some basic information and a few contact details, of course this is a different world to what I am normally use to, so Im unable to do more than search online and make suggestions that may help this woman.

Of course there will always be those willing to turn a blind eye to child abuse and women beaters

OP, I wish you the best of luck and make sure you report back and let us know how you went, perhaps you might even have some information or advice to offer after going through this, fortunately I havent been down this road in Thailand.

[neverdie]

Report it...simply as that. Got a video phone? camera with video? Video camera? Maker a recording from a safe distance but close enough for the BiB to see and get the picture. Show the address and street name. Then show it to the police. A Sargent or higher works best.

And all the people who say leave it alone, it's a Thai problem....I really wish I knew who you are so if I ever saw you laying, bleeding to death on the street I could always walk by and say...Oh!..it's a Thai problem, sorry.

Good suggestion with the video recording.....ohh and i agree with what else you said too

[Menny]

You MUST let someone know what's happening to those poor children.

However, I'd definitely move away, regardless. I certainly wouldn't want to live next to a guy like that especially as he is producing drugs.

In fact that might be the best tip off to the police that you can give, they will almost certainly investigate drugs, but move fast and move first, you and your family's safety is important too.

In my opinion its not worth putting his cowardice to the test, as he is obviously very violent. Also from the sounds of it he is wired up on all sorts of chemicals, which can certainly override feelings of cowardice and self preservation.

I don't need to tell you that drugs, and violence is not a good combination. Its also worth bearing in mind that his associates are probably cut from the same cloth, so beware.

You don't want to be seen as the enemy, get to safety and then report.

That`s a very good idea. I fear for the children. While I am writing this, He`s beating them again with loud music so we can`t hear them (but we do)

Its hel_l, for them, for us, for all our neighbours. Your answer is very helpful! Thank you. Moving to safety and then reporting is a great option.

Children growing up in this environment - oh its just terrible. We are so tired