Extreme Domestic Violence At Our Neighbours House

[bkkjames]

While I am sure the OP appreciates the effort, what is he supposed to do with this info? Wave it in front of the guy in question?

Ok, Jimmy, you've made your so-called contribution to this thread. Neverdie is being helpful in any way he can. How about moving on to a new thread where maybe your "words of wisdom" will be more helpful ?

My final point then is to the OP. Take all the advise you want but before you stick your neck on the line consider the type of individual you are dealing with here. Best case is the lady and kids get away to a safe place and this guy gets locked up.

Worst case (more likely IMO), some authority figure will visit have a few words with the guy who will nod his head and say sorry. Underneath he will be fuming and wondering who did him in? If you are prepared to stick around and deal with this guy who will be looking to even the score somehow, that is your choice. Needless to say that the type of individual you are dealing with does not understand words like reasonable.

For your sake please keep this in mind.

[teatree]

Move house, then report him to the police for drug dealing.

[Menny]

Friends of women Foundation Thailand

Address:

386/61-62 Ratchadaphisek 42, Ratchadaphisek Rd, Chatuchak

Bangkok Bangkok Metropolis

Thailand

Business Phone:

(662) 513 1001

Thanks so much for your help! I will give her all those adresses! (of course very carefully when he`s not there)

[Menny]

Some more info for you OP & I highlighted some names of organisations or departments offering help to DV victims, I will try to get some contact information for you, Im only using google:

Violence against Women and Children

Violence against women and children is still a major problem. Many women and

children suffer from physical, emotional and sexual abuse within the family, at home,

in school, in the workplace and public place. Most offenders are family members or

acquaintances of the victims. To make the matter worse, many victims particularly of

domestic violence do not want to reveal the details of their ordeal to outsiders, partly

due to the social perception regarding this kind of violence a family matter and

outsiders should not get involve. Therefore, only reported cases might represent only

a small fraction of the real big problem.

6

The following are statistics obtained from various agencies and organizations:

1. Court: There were 2,817 cases in 1990 and increasing to 5,840 in 1997.

2. The Royal Thai Police: In 2004 there were 5,041 reported rape cases with

1,860 arrests or only 36.9 % of reported cases.

3. Department of Public Welfare: In 2000, there were 97 cases of child abuse

in Bangkok and 173 cases in rural areas. The cases included those

children who were physically or sexually assaulted and those who were

neglected. Most offenders were persons acquainted with the victims such

as parents, guardians, neighbors and teachers.

4. The Foundation for Women: From January to December 2000, there were

97 cases of sexual violence, 84 cases of domestic violence and 50 cases of

women who had been trafficked.

5. The Hotline Centre Foundation: From January to September 1999, They

were 480 persons asking for advice about domestic violence, as well as

383 cases concerning rape.

6. Friends of Women Foundation: From January to December 1997, there

were 1,057 requests for assistance and 1,000 in 1998, of which 80 %

involved in domestic violence and sexual violence.

While I am sure the OP appreciates the effort, what is he supposed to do with this info? Wave it in front of the guy in question?

didnt you see my post.

he needs to drive lady and kids to these places . and watch his back.

i disagree with those who say violence wont be used against helpers. several cases where i live where good samaritan get beaten to death by guys who are in proceess of beating their gfs. in usa mind you. not in lawless thailand.

Very good adresses, thanks. But she must go there for herself. Its her decision. She is grown up and has her opinions. Her children however don`t...

[Menny]

enuff already!

did you make any calls yet. if not you are part of the problem sir!

Sorry but this quote shows clearly that you have no idea of the situation. This needs to be considered very carefully. We are not dealing with a singe drug dealer on some street. This guy is quite organised. Would you wanna do calls if you live door to door? I doubt that very much! I request you friendly taking back that I am a part of the problem if I don`t do as YOU say as YOU are far far away...

[neverdie]

Very good adresses, thanks. But she must go there for herself. Its her decision. She is grown up and has her opinions. Her children however don`t...

As I said, possibly your first step would be to get a thai speaker to have a word with her, somehow someone needs to establish with her that she is going to accept help.

As for the dealing drugs bit that everyone is harping on about, are you absolutely sure about that, are you just assuming drugs are involved because this guy sits about with his mates fixing motorcycles? I'm guessing your main concern is the children and woman? If you go about things the right way, this guy should be none the wiser you were even involved.

[neverdie]

enuff already!

did you make any calls yet. if not you are part of the problem sir!

Sorry but this quote shows clearly that you have no idea of the situation. This needs to be considered very carefully. We are not dealing with a singe drug dealer on some street. This guy is quite organised. Would you wanna do calls if you live door to door? I doubt that very much! I request you friendly taking back that I am a part of the problem if I don`t do as YOU say as YOU are far far away...

Menny, Don't get sucked in by the people that are trying to de-rail this thread, just ignore them, its easy for other people to point their finger when they're not in your situation.

[sassienie]

Some more info for you OP & I highlighted some names of organisations or departments offering help to DV victims, I will try to get some contact information for you, Im only using google:

Violence against Women and Children

Violence against women and children is still a major problem. Many women and

children suffer from physical, emotional and sexual abuse within the family, at home,

in school, in the workplace and public place. Most offenders are family members or

acquaintances of the victims. To make the matter worse, many victims particularly of

domestic violence do not want to reveal the details of their ordeal to outsiders, partly

due to the social perception regarding this kind of violence a family matter and

outsiders should not get involve. Therefore, only reported cases might represent only

a small fraction of the real big problem.

6

The following are statistics obtained from various agencies and organizations:

1. Court: There were 2,817 cases in 1990 and increasing to 5,840 in 1997.

2. The Royal Thai Police: In 2004 there were 5,041 reported rape cases with

1,860 arrests or only 36.9 % of reported cases.

3. Department of Public Welfare: In 2000, there were 97 cases of child abuse

in Bangkok and 173 cases in rural areas. The cases included those

children who were physically or sexually assaulted and those who were

neglected. Most offenders were persons acquainted with the victims such

as parents, guardians, neighbors and teachers.

4. The Foundation for Women: From January to December 2000, there were

97 cases of sexual violence, 84 cases of domestic violence and 50 cases of

women who had been trafficked.

5. The Hotline Centre Foundation: From January to September 1999, They

were 480 persons asking for advice about domestic violence, as well as

383 cases concerning rape.

6. Friends of Women Foundation: From January to December 1997, there

were 1,057 requests for assistance and 1,000 in 1998, of which 80 %

involved in domestic violence and sexual violence.

While I am sure the OP appreciates the effort, what is he supposed to do with this info? Wave it in front of the guy in question?

didnt you see my post.

he needs to drive lady and kids to these places . and watch his back.

i disagree with those who say violence wont be used against helpers. several cases where i live where good samaritan get beaten to death by guys who are in proceess of beating their gfs. in usa mind you. not in lawless thailand.

Very good adresses, thanks. But she must go there for herself. Its her decision. She is grown up and has her opinions. Her children however don`t...

Maybe she doesn’t have any options and is scared of retaliation from the dreg.

In most of these cases it`s a hopeless self put predicament.

Be concerned for your own family and your welfare. Don`t become involved and remove yourself from the problem.

Edited November 18, 2009 by sassienie

[h90]

but if there is certain child abuse going on then, you have a moral obligation to report that to the police.

Average farang: Excuse me but there's a disturbance going on with my neighbors and I fear that there may be some domestic abuse going on

Thai police: *blank stare* No understand. Have problem?

Average farang: Yes, i'm afraid a woman is getting beat next door to me.

Thai police: *frowns* Thai woman beat you? *snickers and starts to doodle on notepad*

Average farang: no no no I mean a woman is getting hit by Thai man *mimes getting hit*

Thai police: Oh. *looks disappointed and bored*

yes but the drug story is good...

Inform some anti drug agency. Don't go to your police office

[neverdie]

Menny, I also found this really good link, it maybe has a few extra contacts and numbers for you.

http://www.unifem-eseasia.org/projects/eva...ngo/vamthai.htm

[changnaam]

What an a-hole, this guy really deserves what is coming to him. Some very good advice on the dealing with the family issue. Something needs doing for the poor kids, and I am sure the other neighbours think the same but may not be able to move house if they need to which you can.

Although I don't like to agree with the people who talk about keeping out of it you have been rather vague about the drugs issue.

Is he really producing drugs? Would that make him well connected or is he just a chancer that doesn't carry much power (or weapons) which the police may be happy to deal with?

I would say that these are more pressing issues to consider if you are not going to move house before you start doing something about this.

[Menny]

Very good adresses, thanks. But she must go there for herself. Its her decision. She is grown up and has her opinions. Her children however don`t...

As I said, possibly your first step would be to get a thai speaker to have a word with her, somehow someone needs to establish with her that she is going to accept help.

As for the dealing drugs bit that everyone is harping on about, are you absolutely sure about that, are you just assuming drugs are involved because this guy sits about with his mates fixing motorcycles? I'm guessing your main concern is the children and woman? If you go about things the right way, this guy should be none the wiser you were even involved.

Very good point. I will do as follows.

1. My gf speaks with her as soon as he is out of reach and there`s a possibility.

2. We will move to another place

3. We will report a suspicion (Making Videos and fotos is impossible due to the small entrance of his house and the situation:) We have information form our staff who was involved with one of the friends of this man. This friend told her, he is selling drugs. Besides that it happens quite often that there are people with joints and so forth but no pic or video is possible - doesn`t work) - And then I saw him giving a small plastcbag to a friend who gave him money. As soon as they`ve spotted me, they quickly moved away - I am sure they are dealing but I have no proof to show the police. So an anonymous call should be the best...

[Harcourt]

I can't believe the number of gutless wimps here that advise to just leave it alone. Shame on you, all you.

It doesn't mean confronting the abuser.

Neverdie is right in all he says here.

There are Thai institutions to go to.

"Evil men suceed because good men sit by and do nothing".

[MrHammer]

I am disgusted with how many people here say to just ignore it or move away!

Child abuse is a horrible act and crime and should be punished by public flogging. What the hel_l is wrong with you people?

I agree with IanForbes, that the woman will most likely not leave the husband. That's why the police WILL have to get involved. If the children are being abused and the woman is not willing to leave then the children should be taken away.

There's no excuse for child abuse and it should be punished HARSHLY.

Edited November 18, 2009 by MrHammer

[Menny]

I can't believe the number of gutless wimps here that advise to just leave it alone. Shame on you, all you.

It doesn't mean confronting the abuser.

Neverdie is right in all he says here.

There are Thai institutions to go to.

"Evil men suceed because good men sit by and do nothing".

Yes, neverdie offers some very useful help. We just wait until he is out and then my gf will go over and speak with her - it`s dangerous though and she can`t be seen doing this. Thanks for encouraging to help them...

And again - Thanks to neverdie!!!!

[neverdie]

Menny,

Perhaps, it may be a good idea to see if you can get someone else to go accross rather than just your wife, Im guessing you live directly opposite these people, perhaps if a distant neighbour went over or someone totally else.....my thought being that it is still a possibility that this woman may tell whoever goes over to piss off, she may not be willing to accept help, perhaps its not how you think it is, maybe shes the one abusing the children, maybe she wont go against the husband....theres alot of maybe's but my suggestion is perhaps someone else might be able to go over, talk this over with your wife, see what you can come up with.

[Menny]

Menny,

Perhaps, it may be a good idea to see if you can get someone else to go accross rather than just your wife, Im guessing you live directly opposite these people, perhaps if a distant neighbour went over or someone totally else.....my thought being that it is still a possibility that this woman may tell whoever goes over to piss off, she may not be willing to accept help, perhaps its not how you think it is, maybe shes the one abusing the children, maybe she wont go against the husband....theres alot of maybe's but my suggestion is perhaps someone else might be able to go over, talk this over with your wife, see what you can come up with.

Maybe its a good idea to do so. We don`t live opposite. We live wall to wall so filming is not easy. But we hear them very clearly and we know about what they fight...

There is an old woman living opposite and she speaks with them from time to time. That has the effect that the man just increases his cruelness. So they don`t trust anyone around here. But the woman is sometimes smiling desperately at my girlfriend. maybe we will meet her somewhere outside to give her the numbers. We want to urge her to seek shelter with some friends and then move somewhere where he can`t follow her.

The whole thing is quite crazy and we believe that she is somehow bound to her husband. Thats horrible. The children are imitating this cruelness already with the family pets (dog puppy and small kitten) by pulling them around grabbing their tails, smashing them against walls and kicking them. The two brothers are fighting constantly, puring boiling water in eachothers faces and stuff... There needs to be done something as quick as possible for the sake of those children and the wife...

Its best if my wife arranges something. She is very careful and we will do the whole thing in a very hidden manner. They don`t have access to some good people araound here. Its a whole bunch of drinking, and dangerous young men...

[Menny]

Thank you everyone, for your contribution and your empathy. I will let you all know what happens. Further steps tomorrow!

Thanks again!

[MILT]

While I am sure the OP appreciates the effort, what is he supposed to do with this info? Wave it in front of the guy in question?

Ok, Jimmy, you've made your so-called contribution to this thread. Neverdie is being helpful in any way he can. How about moving on to a new thread where maybe your "words of wisdom" will be more helpful ?

Try those references that NEVERDIE has offered. I believe when there are children and drugs involved the proper authorities will be glad to intervene in this nightmare. By the way I personally appreciate you having the courage to step up and getting involved.

MILT

[neverdie]

Very inappropriate comment, gvallee you've got no idea what you are on about which is typical for your type. Studies of Domestic violence have shown it occurrs at all levels of the social scale, now move along and wake up to yourself.

[aussiejosh]

If he has crime connections, SIMPLY STAY AWAY KEEP YOUR NOSE OUT. Seriously, not worth it.

[madjbs]

Good job that not everyone has that opinion.

Edited November 18, 2009 by madjbs

[MrHammer]

Menny,

Perhaps, it may be a good idea to see if you can get someone else to go accross rather than just your wife, Im guessing you live directly opposite these people, perhaps if a distant neighbour went over or someone totally else.....my thought being that it is still a possibility that this woman may tell whoever goes over to piss off, she may not be willing to accept help, perhaps its not how you think it is, maybe shes the one abusing the children, maybe she wont go against the husband....theres alot of maybe's but my suggestion is perhaps someone else might be able to go over, talk this over with your wife, see what you can come up with.

Maybe its a good idea to do so. We don`t live opposite. We live wall to wall so filming is not easy. But we hear them very clearly and we know about what they fight...

There is an old woman living opposite and she speaks with them from time to time. That has the effect that the man just increases his cruelness. So they don`t trust anyone around here. But the woman is sometimes smiling desperately at my girlfriend. maybe we will meet her somewhere outside to give her the numbers. We want to urge her to seek shelter with some friends and then move somewhere where he can`t follow her.

The whole thing is quite crazy and we believe that she is somehow bound to her husband. Thats horrible. The children are imitating this cruelness already with the family pets (dog puppy and small kitten) by pulling them around grabbing their tails, smashing them against walls and kicking them. The two brothers are fighting constantly, puring boiling water in eachothers faces and stuff... There needs to be done something as quick as possible for the sake of those children and the wife...

Its best if my wife arranges something. She is very careful and we will do the whole thing in a very hidden manner. They don`t have access to some good people araound here. Its a whole bunch of drinking, and dangerous young men...

Men who abuse women and children are almost always cowards. That's why he takes it out on his family when the old woman says something. Put the heat on this worm and watch him squirm.

I have no idea why women put up with such things so often, probably it's extreme and irrational fear of being on their own. Maybe she has no family?

It does sound like you're living in a bad neighborhood. Maybe a good idea to move regardless. Good luck with it!

[slapout]

Domestic violence is real and should/can be reported to the police. I have seen the police get involved (they showed up while the battering was taking place) and actually hauled the husband off for a 24 hour cool down. On a lighter note, If the op does not go this route he could contact johan's wife, introduce her to the lady and give them a bottle of whiskey to drink while waiting for the next episode from the wife/child abuser.

[perriwinkle]

Moving to another place is of course an option. I think it will move in this direction anyway. If they don`t move, we will have to move. That doesn`t however solve the problem of those poor children and his wife. I guess, the police would just do nothing wahtsoever. Does anyone know if it maybe made sense involving the tourist police first? We are also afraid, because if this man knew that we do something, he probably would go for us... It makes me really sad, that this country doesn`t seem to offer any good help in those situations. Domestic violence occurs far too often here. Aren`t there any places for woman to go with their children if they need to fear for their life? Like a womans house for abused wifes and their children or something?

Hi Menny,

This is also my first post here although I've been reading the Forum for quite sometime now. I see you have already many advices but I would like to add-on one more, and that's The Paveena Hongsakul Foundation for Children and Women. The 24-hour hot line is 1134 but please double check for accuracy. Or contact

Pavena Foundation for Children and Women

1047 - 51 Pon Luang Complex

Soi AmpornPhan 12, Moo 7

Phaholythin Road, Klong Tanon, BangKhen

Bangkok 10220

â·ÃÈѾ·ì 972-5489-90

I saw her often times on Thai newspapers doing her job helping children and women.

Hope this helps.

[WildChilli]

just asked for my wifes advise domestic violence is regarded as inhouse family problems

and even if reported wont cause him mutch greaf

I"d be happy to put the first 10.000 bht on the table if we can make a colletion and get 100.000 bht

im sure she would be happy to be relocated with her kids

( unless of course she is a user of drugs her self ) its posible but i hope not

far away from that low life drug dealing wife and child beating scum

do we have the means to do somthing about this ( i aint ritch but a few uf us im sure can spare a few thousan bht )

Edited November 18, 2009 by WildChilli

[carmine]

but if there is certain child abuse going on then, you have a moral obligation to report that to the police.

Average farang: Excuse me but there's a disturbance going on with my neighbors and I fear that there may be some domestic abuse going on

Thai police: *blank stare* No understand. Have problem?

Average farang: Yes, i'm afraid a woman is getting beat next door to me.

Thai police: *frowns* Thai woman beat you? *snickers and starts to doodle on notepad*

Average farang: no no no I mean a woman is getting hit by Thai man *mimes getting hit*

Thai police: Oh. *looks disappointed and bored*

Spot on!

[Youbloodybeauty]

Not saying this is even remotely what should be done but it finally worked in our case - and was the last resort.

Wifes sister and very young son was being beaten by the boyfriend and my wife employed the local motorbike taxi "boss" to have a few words with him.

From that day (many years ago now) we have never seen the coward again.

Nothing too nasty but gave him a taste of what he did. 

YBB

[sassienie]

I am disgusted with how many people here say to just ignore it or move away!

Child abuse is a horrible act and crime and should be punished by public flogging. What the hel_l is wrong with you people?

I agree with IanForbes, that the woman will most likely not leave the husband. That's why the police WILL have to get involved. If the children are being abused and the woman is not willing to leave then the children should be taken away.

There's no excuse for child abuse and it should be punished HARSHLY.

Words come cheap and easy talk when looking in from the outside.

Does the OP believe that he is bold enough to take on a vicious organised drug dealer who probably has police associated in the racket.

This is Thailand. If the OP reports the matter to the police, they may tip off the dreg as to whom reported him, than he would be at great risk wherever he moves to.

If I were the OP, I would seriously think this out before taking any actions that could create a situation where it is not safe for him to stay in Thailand.

Fools never listen to advice or use common sense, they only learn by experience.

[Menny]

just asked for my wifes advise domestic violence is regarded as inhouse family problems

and even if reported wont cause him mutch greaf

I"d be happy to put the first 10.000 bht on the table if we can make a colletion and get 100.000 bht

im sure she would be happy to be relocated with her kids

( unless of course she is a user of drugs her self ) its posible but i hope not

far away from that low life drug dealing wife and child beating scum

do we have the means to do somthing about this ( i aint ritch but a few uf us im sure can spare a few thousan bht )

Hi,

What a great idea! My gf just said, that she most probably takes drugs also... but the chances are 50/50. But just for the kids sake it would be great. You know what, I seriously doubt, that she would handle the money well so maybe finding her a small flat and paying the first three months rent should do the job until she gets some grip and works for herself (as she does now anyway) She works in a bar overnight (I know, it so fits in the picture...) I just come to think, maybe she doesn`t care too much about her children anyway. If she would, she would at least go away seeing her husband beating them senseless. She had many instances where her husband was beating her and her children (children every day) so why the heck doesn`t she move. I just don`t get the point. I am not a professional in this area so I don`t understand her. I don`t understand her husband but even more - why doesn`t she do something for her and her children???