In Thailand, Honesty In A Relationship Means Accepting Each Others Lies?

[Ruperts]

Discuss.

(yes burned by (another) Thai (bar) girl. When will I learn?? )

[Chaimai]

Not just Thailand

[kennkate]

All is fair in Love and War. The more battles you fight the better you will become. Attack is the best form of defence be the First to tell her you love her

But you don't have lots of money so she will have to help you out for a month or two. That should sort it if she agrees and does help you out you know your half way there

[maxman71]

All is fair in Love and War. The more battles you fight the better you will become. Attack is the best form of defence be the First to tell her you love her

But you don't have lots of money so she will have to help you out for a month or two. That should sort it if she agrees and does help you out you know your half way there

First issue is going after a bar girl. They having lying in their DNA; if a Thai bar girl's lips are moving, she's lying. If her lips aren't moving, she's thinking up her next lie.

That bar girls are good for a short fantasy type of thing and should not be taken seriously. I routinely delete phone numbers, emails, SMS's, etc from Thai bar girls to keep me discplined to love then kick 'em to the curb.

There are lots of decent, attractive and reasonably honest Thai ladies out there, but you won't meet them at the discos, etc.

[Nio]

Why is it so many farangs get burned by bar girls time and time again, when there are so many normal single girls in Thailand?

Perhaps it is a psychological personna that says "Hey, she works in a bar and I can save her and/or outsmart her"?

What you don't understand is some of these ladies make allot of money and like the money more than being saved.

If you have enough money to be wasting in a bar with bar girls, you should have enough to date a nice Thai girl

If you think for one minute the bar girl is buying into any of your fabulous stories, you are wrong.

She nods yes to everything because yes = money

She is the one using her psychology and physical charms to get everything she can from you.

By being yourself and not hiding behind any made up stories, you can find a nice decent girl anywhere who will actually like you for you.

[britmaveric]

Can't be burned if you know how things work. Sadly some farangs yet to learn this lesson yet. Anyways head-up and move on - just hope it was only a broken heart and not a sack of dosh.

[IMA_FARANG]

Oh lord, I don't know why I even bother to try to explain...but I will.

Finding "true love" by chance is a western myth. The truth is that MOST COUPLES break up before they take the time to learn to understand each other...not some couples but MOST COUPLES.

Therefore you can expect to fail with a bad relationship at least 3 times for any good one you find. Maybe more. This is independent of nationality, place, or social class. It also occurs in the U.S. or the U.K. If you don't believe that, just think of all the time that is spent in those countries on advice to the singles, counseling, marriage counslors, advice to the lovelorn, etc.

It isn't easy to develop a honest trusting relationship....and it takes a lot of practice and a lot of compromise and understanding on the part of both partners.

Why haven't you figured this out yet?

Most couples that have been married for years will tell you it isn't easy to stay together that long. You have to LEARN to tolerate each other...and it takes a lot of work and a lot of love and tolerance to get there.

[backsoon]

Oh lord, I don't know why I even bother to try to explain...but I will.

Finding "true love" by chance is a western myth. The truth is that MOST COUPLES break up before they take the time to learn to understand each other...not some couples but MOST COUPLES.

Therefore you can expect to fail with a bad relationship at least 3 times for any good one you find. Maybe more. This is independent of nationality, place, or social class. It also occurs in the U.S. or the U.K. If you don't believe that, just think of all the time that is spent in those countries on advice to the singles, counseling, marriage counslors, advice to the lovelorn, etc.

It isn't easy to develop a honest trusting relationship....and it takes a lot of practice and a lot of compromise and understanding on the part of both partners.

Why haven't you figured this out yet?

Most couples that have been married for years will tell you it isn't easy to stay together that long. You have to LEARN to tolerate each other...and it takes a lot of work and a lot of love and tolerance to get there.

Statistics. 30% of all mariages end up in divorce within 3 years.

30% of all mariages surviving that end up in divorce within the next 3 years. Total 90% of all mariages end up within 10 years.

The remainder are:

a) True love; Too costly to divorce; c) Thinking about kids; d) Find the French solution; e) Fight it to the bitter end; f) Roman Catholics; g) None of the above.

N.B. This is a multiple choice question This is a joke This is truth

This is an old man's blabber No comebacks, please!

[whistleblower]

Why is it so many farangs get burned by bar girls time and time again, when there are so many normal single girls in Thailand?

Perhaps it is a psychological personna that says "Hey, she works in a bar and I can save her and/or outsmart her"?

What you don't understand is some of these ladies make allot of money and like the money more than being saved.

If you have enough money to be wasting in a bar with bar girls, you should have enough to date a nice Thai girl

If you think for one minute the bar girl is buying into any of your fabulous stories, you are wrong.

She nods yes to everything because yes = money

She is the one using her psychology and physical charms to get everything she can from you.

By being yourself and not hiding behind any made up stories, you can find a nice decent girl anywhere who will actually like you for you.

The reason they get burned by bar girls is because they dont want to date a decent thai girl as for many its too much effort. Oh and the other reason could be that MOST decent Thai girls don't shag or give BJ's on the 1st, 2nd or even third date. And most decent Thai girls wont sit in a bar beer whilst their BF gets pissed and tries telling all who will listen how he used to be in the SAS or Delta force before coming to Thailand.

[Wallich]

Not just Bar Girls, have just been dumped after a 7 month live in by a Massage (strait) Lady, for a one month visiting Farang. Money, Money, Money. No vision as to what happens when he goes back!!!!!!! Good luck to all.

[Boothy]

What's the French Soloution?

[Jonathanpattaya]

It took many years for my Thai wife (and I am not saying Thais are the only fibbers) to understand that the truth is always better even when a lie seems the easy way out at the time.

When the truth needs to be told she pauses, tempted to lie, before it comes out.

Telling a lie, when confrontation can be avoided by doing so, runs deep in Thai culture.

Don't give up but be prepared to be very patient.

[TongueThaied]

Not just Bar Girls, have just been dumped after a 7 month live in by a Massage (strait) Lady, for a one month visiting Farang. Money, Money, Money. No vision as to what happens when he goes back!!!!!!! Good luck to all.

Bar girl, masseuse, all the same. Not true with legitimate masseuse, such as in a hospital. But if she ever got you off in the course of a massage, she is a gulliii just like a bar girl and her job is to use psychology to separate you from as much cash as possible. If those girls ever change, I have never heard of it. Pure and simple; sad but true. Some guys are with these "reformed" women getting ripped blind and their friends see it, but the poor sots are blind to it. I have one friend who is "cleaned" every month, but trusts her and cannot see it. I guess whatever works. But, if you want a good relationship, go find a nice girl.

[Birdman]

People seem to live in wishful fantasies here. Finding a sincere woman based on affection only is on the same difficulty level like in the West. If you can't find love in Farang country, you probably can't find it here.

[Shotime]

You're trying to tell me she's been lying all along?

[Ruperts]

Nice replies. Made me feel better. Not that I was feeling TOO bad in the first place. I was already experienced enough to know not to trust her. But there's always a part of you that HOPES she's... wait for it... different (lol), and then when you find out she's just as bad or worse than you expected you can't help but feel dissapointed.

Never mind though. Good luck to the next guy (or, more likely, the current guy... it has been a day or two now), and onto the next one. I'm not gonna lie, I use them as much as they use me. I wish it wasn't so, but i'm out of ideas. The 'good' girls aren't interested in a jaded penny pinching tourist who has nothing to offer them in the way of a long term relationship, but i still want to get my end away. Catch 22. Go home? Absolutely, let me just wait for it to warm up a bit first, and i'll see you next winter. Maybe. Or maybe I'll try somewhere else. This place aint what it used to be.