Sin Sot Question

[AZBill]

Ok folks I need some help on this sin sot issue. I am getting married to a beautiful girl from Isaan this summer. She is a wonderful girl and I have known her for some time now. She is not educated beyond the government provided education. Her parents are farmers and do not have much means other than what I have provided. She is not an ex bargir. I met her while she was working in her aunt's shirt factory while representing a client in the apparel business in Bangkok. I am a lawyer in the US and financially secure. I have built her and her family a beautiful home (3,000,000 baht), give them 30000 baht a month to live on and take my beauty all over Asia and wherever she can go without visa issues. She already has quite a bit of gold and a beautiful diamond engagement ring. After the Thai ceremony she will be coming to live with me in the US on a Fiance Visa and we will do the legal marriage in the US. . I understand the sin sot issue and I don't really have an issue with it. The parents have been a bit shy about talking to me about it but I know its important to them and I want to do the right thing. The money isnt a big issue but I need some guidance on what I should pay. If I pay to little they could be insulted. On the other hand, I have given them so much already and I dont want to look like a dupe to the village for giving too much either. Any suggestions? Why you ask is someone like me marrying an Isaan farm girl? Simple, I was married to a very successful professional woman for many years and was miserable for most of those years. I've also dated the same kind of women after my divorce and without exception they were all shallow and far more interested in my money than anything else even though they had plenty of their own. Basically sick of the western liberated woman and their plastic values. I want a real wife. Can't ask for any better than the girl I am marrying.

[way2muchcoffee]

You can't be for real.

You say you built a family of farmers a 3 million Bt house and a monthly stipend of 30,000 bt. You are also worried that you will look like a dupe to the village. News flash. You already do look like a dupe to the village, her family, and probably everybody else who has anything to do with Thailand.

You claim to be sick of western women and their plastic values. Excuse me. Haven't you just dished out about $95,000 to the family for a house and a further $1000 per month?

You can't ask for anything better than the girl you are marrying. How about a discount?

Edited March 6, 2010 by way2muchcoffee

[a2396]

Oh boy!! Another one. P.T. Barnum was right. I hope he's got some friends of like mind. Some of my Issan darlings would love to find one like the OP.

[Carib]

Money is not a big issue you say, so why even bother to ask.

I would say 2 million Baht for starters and throw in a couple of gold ornaments too.

The farang around you will absolutely love you for it too.

[way2muchcoffee]

1. For an Issan farming family a 300,000 bt upgrade of house is more than generous.

2. No more than 5,000 bt per month should be necessary, perhaps 10k if you are particularly generous.

3. Sin Sod, maybe 100k

Edited March 6, 2010 by way2muchcoffee

[bifftastic]

you've already shown them you've got more money than they could ever dream about so I would expect they will ask for quite a bit, however, what quite a bit is to them I'm not sure, as someone already mentioned, I don't think you have to worry about being seen as a 'dupe'. Seeing as money isn't really a problem for you, and they're doing very nicely thank you on what you are giving them now. They will probably expect a million baht! You've already spent 3 mill on the house after all so it would have to match!

Everyone in the village knows they've struck it rich already so you might as well go the whole hog and double it for show at the wedding and get it given back afterwards or buy them a pick up truck/tractor/more land etc. etc. with it. Talk to them and see what they want/expect.

Good luck and I hope it goes well for you and you enjoy the wedding and many years of happiness afterwards.

[Birdman]

More than a few farang spent that and more for ex poor farm females, but it's certainly not a major group in this forum. I would live with her first for 1-2 years before marriage to see if it will be a one hundred percent money relationship only with more and more demands from her and/or her family. If you rush things maybe you will regret it.

[geriatrickid]

A well crafted post. I commend your ability to write an interesting tale. However, if you were the successful attorney you claim to be you certainly would not show up here and ask for advice on an issue that a person of your self decribed background would never do. I suggest that the next time you concoct a story like this you balance the indications of hubris with the actions described.

Look, do you honestly think a successful attorney would blow his client list by taking up with such a woman? I think not. Even the scummiest of criminal lawyers don't have wives like this. I would never retain counsel that had this type of judgement. You don't know too much about client-solicitor interaction do you? You might also wish to brush up on US visa law and current trends. It is an unlikely scenario that a fiance visa would be issued so quickly, especially now.

Good gravy, April 1 is still several weeks away.

[way2muchcoffee]

Look, do you honestly think a successful attorney would blow his client list by taking up with such a woman? I think not. Even the scummiest of criminal lawyers don't have wives like this. I would never retain counsel that had this type of judgement.

Interesting comment gk. Evidently you are an elitist snob. Impugning somebody because they happen to be born to a poor family?

Personally I think the o.p. is a troll.

But your comments, gk, are extremely offensive and show your mindset clearly.

Edited March 6, 2010 by way2muchcoffee

[Carib]

A well crafted post. I commend your ability to write an interesting tale. However, if you were the successful attorney you claim to be you certainly would not show up here and ask for advice on an issue that a person of your self decribed background would never do. I suggest that the next time you concoct a story like this you balance the indications of hubris with the actions described.

Look, do you honestly think a successful attorney would blow his client list by taking up with such a woman? I think not. Even the scummiest of criminal lawyers don't have wives like this. I would never retain counsel that had this type of judgement. You don't know too much about client-solicitor interaction do you? You might also wish to brush up on US visa law and current trends. It is an unlikely scenario that a fiance visa would be issued so quickly, especially now.

Good gravy, April 1 is still several weeks away.

Your comments on the lady , or where she comes from and what the result will be, are way..way out of line !!

[GungaDin]

AZBill.

Solly, No believe.

If you are serious, then have a minimum of 2 years living together before any plans of marriage.

Do not live closer than 90 minutes drive from your future in-laws.

Edited March 6, 2010 by GungaDin

[JimShortz]

Money is not a big issue you say, so why even bother to ask.

I would say 2 million Baht for starters and throw in a couple of gold ornaments too.

The farang around you will absolutely love you for it too.

Not enough - you will look mean... minimum 4 million Baht and two wheelbarrows full of gold will do it (and make sure they are properly full)

[angiud]

Cruising in SE Asia, building a millions baht house, beautiful girl, plenty of gold, successful US lawyer.

I smell something...

[Carib]

Money is not a big issue you say, so why even bother to ask.

I would say 2 million Baht for starters and throw in a couple of gold ornaments too.

The farang around you will absolutely love you for it too.

Not enough - you will look mean... minimum 4 million Baht and two wheelbarrows full of gold will do it (and make sure they are properly full)

Well I had church bells in mind..gold that is for ornaments...

[givenall]

If everything that you is true then I would say wait till the family ask for Sin sod. And if it is more than 5 bth then you are in trouble and I would just run

[Beardog]

I don't even have to read the rest of the replys. OP you already screwed the pooch. Would you have done this in the US. Use your big head & not the little one. The family knows you are a delightful little cash cow & you are now the life support forever. Better if you were going to build her family a house to spend $3000.00 on it what they are used to & not shown your ace in the hole. If I were you I would take the loss now & find a new girl & keep your assets hidden. You could have married a doctor with that investment! Not flaming you but you should have looked at the last 7 years of sin sod threads & found these things out. You are getting the Kewpie doll for the top 10 gullible on the sin sod thing (which is to be given back to the OP after marriage.) Good luck on your herd of sick buffaloes.

Edit:

I got to ask are you really from the U.S. A lawyer at that. By the way Thai girls look at diamonds as a useless piece of glass. Gold is king.

Edited March 6, 2010 by Beardog

[ivowatson]

If I remember well, (part of) Cambodia is for sale. Give it to the parents and make them king and queen. The whole village will be very impressed. And don't forget to tell everyone you're not really regarded rich in your country. Most of your countrymen are far better off. I'm sure you're gonna be very happy with your lovely wife.

All the best.

[mizzi39]

Look, do you honestly think a successful attorney would blow his client list by taking up with such a woman? I think not. Even the scummiest of criminal lawyers don't have wives like this. I would never retain counsel that had this type of judgement.

Interesting comment gk. Evidently you are an elitist snob. Impugning somebody because they happen to be born to a poor family?

Personally I think the o.p. is a troll.

But your comments, gk, are extremely offensive and show your mindset clearly.

I agree with you "w2mc" and think the op is a troll. I am also kind of taken back by this comment coming from "gk", since I usually enjoy reading his posts, but then again this is an anonymous forum so do we ever really know someone's true mindset?

[givenall]

I agree with you "w2mc" and think the op is a troll. I am also kind of taken back by this comment coming from "gk", since I usually enjoy reading his posts, but then again this is an anonymous forum so do we ever really know someone's true mindset?

Weather this post is troll or not , I see a pattern and it says enough is enough, farang are here to have a good life and create a good life for our partners and we are definitely not cash or ATM machine

[way2muchcoffee]

Yes. GK caught me by surprise there. I often disagree with his views, but his style is usually more measured and fair.

[mizzi39]

Fair enough "givenall" ,but honestly do you really have to Yell? Some of us are able to create a good life for our partner and family without feeling like walking ATM machines, so the often over generalizations turn into very week arguments. If the OP happens to be sincere with his post, (I still think he is a troll) he obviously left his common sense back at the airport.

[mark45y]

It is rare that Thaivisa gets such a complete walking cliché.

1. If the OP had a lick of sense he would have searched for sinsod and found hundreds of thousands of posts on Thaivisa about the subject.

2. If the OP had a lick of sense he would have read Thai visa a bit and discovered he is being taken for the same ride thousands of others have taken before him.

He is the typical overweight older male snagged by an Issan fisherwoman. What’s in his future? He could have read his story repeated over and over again on Stick or a variety of other forums including Thai visa.

After he reads all these we can expect a post that begins with, “my girl is different.”

We all know there is at least a 10 year age difference and more probably 20 years. We all know all the rest.

We all know what is going to happen. Should someone tell him? No, he wouldn’t believe us anyway.

He has all sorts of interesting experiences awaiting him with government agencies and bureaucrats and farming communities.

There seems to be no end to the absolute naiveté of some people. I have a friend who is doing something similar. I call him up once a month to see if the axe has dropped but he blithers on wearing his rice colored glasses. He pays his wife 30,000 baht a month. No wonder these people think we are morons.

I try and put myself in the same position. If I had not gone to college and my parents had not finished grade school how would I feel if someone built me a mansion and paid my folks a small fortune a month just for my company?

Love in Thailand is not like love in Farangland.

How can the OP pull out of his slide towards perdition? I think he is lost already. He’s made to many disastrous mistakes already. Maybe there is a chance if he is quite bright. What’s the quickest way to learn to speak Thai? Full time tutor and small classes 6 hours a day? Me, I’d move to a hotel on the beach in Rayong. There are quite a few good teachers and language schools in Rayong. Immerse myself in the Thai culture and language. Watch Thai TV and listen to Thai music and as quickly as possible learn to speak Thai. Rayong is not a tourist city. Just living there will answer all the questions the OP needs answered that he doesn’t know he needs answered. In six months or a year he will begin to have a clue what is going on around him.

[Tod Daniels]

Ohhh goody, another frickin’sin-sod thread. .. Aren’t there 3 or 4 of them running continually on T/V under some forum or other?

If the O/P is not a troll (suspect at best ), he’s already ‘tipped his hand’ by his way over the top contributions to a family of rice farmers in Nakhon Nowhere.

News flash; your g/f’s family and everyone in the no named Issan village certainly know already that you’re a veritable cash cow, so don’t worry a second about that anymore.

Another news flash; the dog-&-pony show that a thai wedding entails is NOT a legally binding marriage, but simply a face/status gaining party for the family of the bride and the village at large. Unless I am mistaken, you can go to the local Amphur and get legally ‘married’ for under a 100 baht.

I still say someone should come up with a formula where variables are plugged in like, birth place, education level, former employment, previous marriages, and/or children and then have it spit out an appropriate sin-sod amount. You’d make millions of baht selling it.

The mind wobbles at some of these posts, really it does. ..

[hammered]

Why the need to put western women and their values down?

[mark45y]

Why the need to put western women and their values down?

I got a divorce agreeing to all sorts of things I thought were excessive but my attorney was obviously outclassed by her attorney. At the end of the hearing the western woman judge turned to my western woman wife and said in a confidential tone, “honey, are you sure there is nothing else you want?” I didn’t say anything about western women in this thread but I am living in Thailand.

My western woman wife told the judge she wanted to make sure I never had another good day for the rest of my life. The western woman ex wife and the western woman judge attempted to make sure that was the case but failed to consider Thailand. I didn’t say anything bad about western women in this thread but if the OP has any sense at all he will live in Thailand just to make sure that western women have a minimal influence on the rest of his life.

Issan women may be troublesome, Thai Chinese women may be a bit silly and Thai women in general may be hard to understand but that said, even with all the problems of language and culture there is still a scale that tips to maintaining a residence in Thailand for western males.

[geriatrickid]

Ahh righteous indignation, it makes life exciting I tell ya.

It was not my intent to weigh in on the merits of a woman of humble background. Rest assured, I would never besmirch such a lass. However, what we had here was a fictious creation intended to play to the sympathies of the reader. My comments were directed at this artistic creation.

Look, do you honestly think a successful attorney would blow his client list by taking up with such a woman? I think not. Even the scummiest of criminal lawyers don't have wives like this.

Please read the comment in the context that the OP "met her while she was working in her aunt's shirt factory while representing a client in the apparel business in Bangkok." If one ignores the poor syntax, how pray tell do you suppose he met this woman? Was she working hard over a sewing table, poor thing. Or perhaps, she was in the office attired in a naughty outfit and the OP and the young lady's eyes met and then they exchanged furtive glances with one thing leading to another and before they knew it, they were going at it on a desk.

As an aside, considering the writing style of the "lawyer" here, would you want him writing the brief for your pleading? I think not.

Your comments on the lady , or where she comes from and what the result will be, are way..way out of line !!

In consideration of my explanation, I trust you will put my comments in context and not be distressed.

Look, do you honestly think a successful attorney would blow his client list by taking up with such a woman? I think not. Even the scummiest of criminal lawyers don't have wives like this. I would never retain counsel that had this type of judgement.

Interesting comment gk. Evidently you are an elitist snob. Impugning somebody because they happen to be born to a poor family?

Personally I think the o.p. is a troll.

But your comments, gk, are extremely offensive and show your mindset clearly.

I agree with you "w2mc" and think the op is a troll. I am also kind of taken back by this comment coming from "gk", since I usually enjoy reading his posts, but then again this is an anonymous forum so do we ever really know someone's true mindset?

Elitist? Oh my. However, my comments remain. A "successful" lawyer with the track record described, just does not do this. All urban myths aside, it just doesn't happen except in cheap romance novelettes. It is a story line that is to be devoured by lonely souls alone in their beds wishing they could be the lucky lass to be rescued from a hard life by the white knight.

Don't despair. I wouldn't ridicule a "real" person that did meet someone and it was true love. The descriptive narrative of the woman being poor and coming from a farm family meeting a "rich" farang American lawyer was just so bogus, it deserved to be dismissed.

Trusting this provides reassurance to those that were concerned.

[steelepulse]

A nice yarn being spun by the OP. Turn off the money flow and see what happens.

[hammered]

Why the need to put western women and their values down?

I got a divorce agreeing to all sorts of things I thought were excessive but my attorney was obviously outclassed by her attorney. At the end of the hearing the western woman judge turned to my western woman wife and said in a confidential tone, “honey, are you sure there is nothing else you want?” I didn’t say anything about western women in this thread but I am living in Thailand.

My western woman wife told the judge she wanted to make sure I never had another good day for the rest of my life. The western woman ex wife and the western woman judge attempted to make sure that was the case but failed to consider Thailand. I didn’t say anything bad about western women in this thread but if the OP has any sense at all he will live in Thailand just to make sure that western women have a minimal influence on the rest of his life.

Issan women may be troublesome, Thai Chinese women may be a bit silly and Thai women in general may be hard to understand but that said, even with all the problems of language and culture there is still a scale that tips to maintaining a residence in Thailand for western males.

Just seems like stereotyping to me.

[mark45y]

Designers hire lawyers to carry papers to sewing businesses all the time. These lawyers are little more than messenger boys. They used to be mob guys because it is a mob business in NY but a guy named Ray messed it up by contracting for the mob as well as the designers.

This is how it works; a design shop in NY makes a design and contracts with a sewing factory in Thailand to produce the shirt. After the mob guy makes the legitimate shirt he also contracts with another shop to make a couple of thousand more knock off shirts with real labels to be sold in NY in the hot shirt trade. The shirts are shipped back to NY with the legit shirts going to the design house and the knock offs go to the mob. The switch is made at the airport or docks because those are both controlled by mob unions.

To prevent this the design houses began using lawyers to make the contracts instead of mob guys because lawyers are easier to bump off than mafia guys.

These lawyers come from lawyer night school while they drive cabs or wash dishes during the day. So they may not be the best and brightest lawyers available. I think you are putting to much emphasis on the intelligence of lawyers.

[ben11]

$1000 a month?

you got a deal, i pay $1500 a month for my issarn honey.