Neighbours Simmering Unhappiness.

[MrJohnson]

The wonders of Thailand.

The few Thai neighbors we talk to spout such utter bull**it and nonsense it is remarkable. They elaborate stories about one another and especially about any foreigners that move into the Soi. It's really not worth talking to them.

99% of my neighbors are really wonderful people.We bring each other food and,party together.We go to the wat together etc. Am I just the odd falang out?

No. I suspect there is a whole lot more to this story that we haven't heard yet.

[MrJohnson]

I am young and handsome so Thais treat me like a king. I am scared of what will happen when I grow old like all of you. It seems like Thais are repulsed by the old farang in their wonderful nation.

Classic!

[agord]

Thais seem to dislike everyone ..... but mostly each other, they don't appear to have lasting friendships.

(Yes a wild generalisation, all I can say is from what I have seen)

I pretty much keep to myself and let them make up any stories they like.

My two nearest neighbours are white males with ex-bar girl Issan ladies, the lades are clearly former sex workers, the men claim different.

The ladies lie all the time about everything, whenever I listen to them, it is to listen to a lie.

The American guys wife is having an affair (or Thai husband), she goes outside to take phone calls from the lover .... doesn't think I can understand.

(she also beats her 2 year old son with a stick in the garden, <deleted> is wrong with these people)

My wife refuses to speak to the other women (for some reason)

Last year I lived way out in the wilds, only 2 other houses within earshot (100 percent Thai).

1 house had loud karaoke playing all night on a regular basis.

1 house the guy would beat the living daylights out of his wife/gf, she would scream for hours as if being tortured to death.

(I did suggest to my gf that she call the police ...... "not my father mother" was the reply ... or in English "not my business")

I always find my best neighbours to be those who totally ignore me.

Don't move, the next place will be just the same.

Don't worry about police reports, Thais love to make police complaints, the police write it down and file it.

Your experience in this country is clearly different than mine. I don't know how long you have been here but joined TV only recently? You speak Thai (you say) You know everything about Thailand, peoples salaries and what a "normal" Thai is. You are my favourite type of expat

[sarahsbloke]

Learning the language of the country you live in has to be the number one priority for any expat.

(I apologise profusely for not making joining TV my first priority)

I can speak, read and write Thai .... to some extent ......

If only more would do this, maybe the Thais wouldn't consider us all quite so daft.

I think we can both agree

Those who can't understand the language will have an entirely different experience of a country from those who can ..... maybe you are right, ignorance is bliss.

PS

Small correction, I rarely speak Thai, but understand Thai quite well, much more to my advantage to blend in with all the other buffalo.

The Thai ladies talk about all sorts of amusing stuff while I am around, almost as if I wasn't there. My wife and daughter never let on either.

I tell her what the neighbours wives say about her when she leaves the room, she enjoys very much.

Edited May 29, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[neverdie]

well if your going to move and it looks as if thats an odds on bet, at the moment.

i suggest you go out in style and with a bang.

dont do anything stupid mind, but enough to put you neighbours noses out of joint and give them enough food for thought, to make them realize and understand what a pathetic bunch of bigots they really are.

how about a massive going away house party.invite all your friends(farang and thai) and family.

loads of smelly farang styled food on the bbq. the finest assortment of blue vained cheeses left out to fill the air. most thais, not all, hate the sight and smell of cheese. get them back for all that som-tam boo blah they eat. fancy dress, either vicars and strippers or something along the lines of the rocky horror show. after all they already think that your a sex tourist and that you picked you wife up in pattaya. a great selection of eighties music on the sound system, maybe even "god save the queen" by the sex pistols.that should go down a treat! anythings got to be better than carabao. a piss bucket outside, for all the male guests to use. after all they would only be doing the same thing that you see as a regular occurance on the streets of thailand, when its male citizens fancy taking a leak. a live televised world cup game on a brand new plazma t.v. screen. you could sing songs about how <deleted> thailands national side is and the fact that they arent even taking part in this years world cup. why spoil their illusion of the fact that they think that all farangs have too much money and are a bunch of football hooligans anyway. maybe a couple of bouncers on the door, dressed as coppers. excepting an entrance fee/bribe of around 200 baht to get in.

i could go on, but i think you get the picture.

Too funny tigerfish, should of known this type of recommendation would of come from you. So when and wheres the party. If we get the Karaoke gear I will do my freddy mecury rendition - REALLY LOUD!

Maybe bashing the top of the neighbour's car in had something to do with it?

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/Local-Disput...ng-t369877.html

Theres a fair bit to that story soundman, sure the OP probably didnt take the best course of action in that instance but the neighbour was lucky it wasnt someone with a crappy attitude like me

Edited May 29, 2010 by neverdie

[thaimate]

Wow ,we are so lucky where we live just outside Pattaya,my neighbours are the nicest you could imagine ,on my birthday they bring cakes and when they go away always bring us presents back ,as do we for them , my wife has never been trated like a bar girl in the whole time we have been married ,but then she dresses very nicely with no short skirts or have tattoos( not that i think the ops wife does)

maybe the differance is that we live among quite well off thais and our son goes to a private school as do the neighbours kids.

that could be the reason ,they are not jelous of us because they have as big if not bigger houses than us and nice cars ect.

also when my wifes familly visit ,it is obvious that they also are quite comfortably off ,although by no means rich .

so all in all i think it is just the way you are percieved by the neighbours.

[agord]

Learning the language of the country you live in has to be the number one priority for any expat.

(I apologise profusely for not making joining TV my first priority)

I can speak, read and write Thai .... to some extent ......

If only more would do this, maybe the Thais wouldn't consider us all quite so daft.

I think we can both agree

Those who can't understand the language will have an entirely different experience of a country from those who can ..... maybe you are right, ignorance is bliss.

PS

Small correction, I rarely speak Thai, but understand Thai quite well, much more to my advantage to blend in with all the other buffalo.

The Thai ladies talk about all sorts of amusing stuff while I am around, almost as if I wasn't there. My wife and daughter never let on either.

I tell her what the neighbours wives say about her when she leaves the room, she enjoys very much.

Yes agreed that expats should learn the language and Thai is really not all that hard. Reading and writing Thai is a different story.

[Patsycat]

What a horrible thing to do, I am sure your wife is very upset. If the neighbours had anything to say, they should say it to your faces. Then you could sort out whatever differences you all have together.

But, if it comes down to your family's happiness and peace of mind - unfortunately moving is probably the best solution.

Two faced people make me sick. And they are all over the World.

[yabaaaa]

Everyone seems to think this is due to anti-foreigner feelings.

I'm not so sure.

In my neighborhood I'm the only foreigner and I don't talk to the neighbors much, but when I do they're all happy to tell me stories about all the other people that are similar to the stories they've told the police about you.

Basically just petty bitching and gossiping and when the guy with the car gave them an opportunity to say it anonymously, oh my how they must have loved the ability to gossip to a policeman who would write it down!

Im gonna generalise, lots of Thais behave like small children, petty childish, selfish,lazy........hang on I think ive described most people? Thais do excel at it though.

Live in a condo? ask your neighbour "please can you close your door more quietly" result slams it even harder.....seems typical.

Edited May 29, 2010 by yabaaaa

[Archimedes]

All this is according to 1 part, with no input from the other parties involved....So based on that its quite impossible to really know what has been happening.

I can only say that i have lived in many "Thai" neighborhoods and have never had any problems, But HEY who knows what the future brings

[Spoonman]

Learning the language of the country you live in has to be the number one priority for any expat.

Why ??

Everyone around me speaks english, was easier for me to teach my missus English than me to speak Thai, everyone at my work speaks English (enough to get by on), for day to day stuff I don't need Thai.

Having said that I know enough Thai to get by on, I don't speak it by rule, but enough to get the gist of whats happening around me and what people are saying, bit of an eye opener though, I'm always biting my tongue !!!

Edited May 29, 2010 by Spoonman

[BobbyMoore]

Most of my neighbours are fine except the Beverly Hillbilly family who just moved down from the village, caught the old man pissing up the tree in the park on our estate the other day obviously poor chap has not been taught how to use a toilet yet, i shouted just to let him know its not on and anyone who say its Thailand who are you to tell the Thais what do to can kiss my arse some of them need teaching some manners.

[Birdman]

Learning the language of the country you live in has to be the number one priority for any expat.

(I apologise profusely for not making joining TV my first priority)

I can speak, read and write Thai .... to some extent ......

If only more would do this, maybe the Thais wouldn't consider us all quite so daft.

....

you post without substance. The number one priority for any expat here is not to speak, read and write Thai. I know that, because I can speak Thai fluently, and I can tell you, that it is not necessary at the Farang places, which extend month by month.

Didn't you know, that there are villages in Issan full of Swiss, who can hardly speak English?

[sarahsbloke]

Sorry Birdman, your English is not too good, very hard to understand

Anyway Bobby, one good reason to understand Thai is to know when your wife is cheating on you, and what her family think of you.

And how many of you TV types in the UK winge on about bloody foreigners living in the UK and not speaking English, it's just rude.

Edited May 29, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[Birdman]

If you can't understand that, how can you understand Thais?

BTW, why don't you let your laptop placed at the beer bar counter translate that for you?

[Theyreallrubbish]

Have to be honest that the only real advantage I've received from speaking Thai is not needing a girlfriend to get things done. When I have a GF I tend to let her take care of stuff. Never needed it for work even in all Thai companies.

The other advantage is that it widens your dating pool to all the women in Thailand who can't speak English. Those who've never had contact with a foreigner before are less cynical and often make a lot of allowances for my bad behaviour assuming its a mysterious part of farang culture they have to make allowances for (And by bad behaviour I don't mean the usual, I mean playing video games for hours and hours.)

Other than that I haven't seen many benefits. The vast majority of Thais don't have anything to say and those that do tend to be fluent in English.

Reading the signs in Thai in parking lots helps me find the lift sometimes and its helped me avoid a few parking tickets.

As I posted before, chatting with the neighbours in Thai merely shows that they more squabbles going on with each other over minor nonsense than they do with me over me being foreign, richer than them or not being neighborly

[jackdawson]

Issan full of Swiss, who can hardly speak English

note to self ; continue to NEVER go to isaan

[BigWheelMan]

My Thai wife and I, children and dogs have a great relationship with our neighbours.

The local people, salt of the earth.

Firstly in most cases, (not all) it is illegal for the Farang to purchase land, even in his Thai wife’s name, the same for growing and selling agricultural food products. Maybe this is one of the reasons why the police are giving the OP hassle.

I find it difficult to believe that all those people would make such statements and go as far as actually submitting them to the police, if there was no truth or actual facts behind their complaints, which is entirely opposite to the Thai way of doing things, because most Thais like to give themselves and the police a wide berth. There must be some extremes for the neighbours to take such action.

In Thailand, foreigners need to learn and adapt to the ways of the Thais, the overwhelming majority of people that surround us.

It`s not strictly a case of live and let live for us in Thailand. Some habits and certain behaviours the Thais find insulting and rude, even if it`s considered the norm or tolerated in Western society.

I would say that unless the OP takes a good realistic honest to himself look at what’s causing his problems, than he is going to have trouble wherever he goes in Thailand, eventually concluding in all doors closing behind him within this wonderful country where I feel, tolerated, respected and privileged to be among the Thai people.

[mallyrd]

The wonders of Thailand.

The few Thai neighbors we talk to spout such utter bull**it and nonsense it is remarkable. They elaborate stories about one another and especially about any foreigners that move into the Soi. It's really not worth talking to them.

99% of my neighbors are really wonderful people.We bring each other food and,party together.We go to the wat together etc. Am I just the odd falang out?

I am not into the wat bit but otherwise our neighbors are fine to. I'm the only expat living in the soi. You are not the odd out.

[mallyrd]

Just curious what city or town are you in?

Sounds nice and friendly just like the place I had in Phuket lived there 3.5 years never knew any of my neighbours.

Ditto---where are you living??

I am in a part of C.Mai about 12 Km from city centre and, generally, get on fine with all the neighbours--to my face, that is; behind one's back--who knows?

You can apply the principle "behinds one back" to any community anywhere in the world.

[needforspeed]

Thais seem to dislike everyone ..... but mostly each other, they don't appear to have lasting friendships.

(Yes a wild generalisation, all I can say is from what I have seen)

I pretty much keep to myself and let them make up any stories they like.

My two nearest neighbours are white males with ex-bar girl Issan ladies, the lades are clearly former sex workers, the men claim different.

The ladies lie all the time about everything, whenever I listen to them, it is to listen to a lie.

The American guys wife is having an affair (or Thai husband), she goes outside to take phone calls from the lover .... doesn't think I can understand.

(she also beats her 2 year old son with a stick in the garden, <deleted> is wrong with these people)

My wife refuses to speak to the other women (for some reason)

Last year I lived way out in the wilds, only 2 other houses within earshot (100 percent Thai).

1 house had loud karaoke playing all night on a regular basis.

1 house the guy would beat the living daylights out of his wife/gf, she would scream for hours as if being tortured to death.

(I did suggest to my gf that she call the police ...... "not my father mother" was the reply ... or in English "not my business")

I always find my best neighbours to be those who totally ignore me.

Don't move, the next place will be just the same.

Don't worry about police reports, Thais love to make police complaints, the police write it down and file it.

Much agree with Sarahsbloke,

Thais calling each other best friends after 2 weeks, and dislike each other without discussing the problems after 3 weeks and never talk to each other after 4 weeks.

They just not like us, we did the same thing in the 70ties when we had the first immigrants moving into our street, but they still there.

Every one can say everthing just ignore them and smile, sometimes is wish that i never learn to read or understand the Thai language so i didn't distracted to all the fairytales going around.

Also i feel much better when not working to have a "may pen raij/ bo ben jang/ sabay sabay" attitude.

Let it rest for a while,

Good luck

Edited May 30, 2010 by needforspeed

[kikoman]

You reap what you sow!

You do not interact with your neighbors!

I am the only farang living in my village, All my neighbors have been to my home and me to theirs. We are invited to every village functions and I was even picked to hand out certificates at my daughters school. We are well received in our village, there are only two Thais I go out of my way to avoid ,both the village drunks.

I think when you do move, move to a Farang town, I believe it is your attitude that is the reason people do not like you, and you will have the same problems in any other place you move or change your attitude.

Thai"s dislike yelling, especially being yelled at, also you were the aggressor when you attacked the man in his car and dented the roof. all villages have a headman and that is where you should have gone to voice your complaint. or the police department and filed a complaint.

Also I do not speak Thai and never will because of a hearing disability, I also do not work and neither dose my wife, She also is the talk of the village as being so lucky ,as she no longer has to work 12 hrs a day 7 days a week. I see it not as spite but more of envy, they wish they also do not have to work, so hard to make a living. That has never affected our relationship with my neighbors.

We have a large garden and our neighbors are free to help themselves to what they need as we are free to gather from their gardens what we need.

Treat others as you would want others to treat you!

a good rule to live by!

Cheers

[onnut]

Kikoman

you sound as if you have a great life and I am sure you do. But are you sure your neigbours are not slagging you behind your back. Thais in general can be very green people if others around them have more or are doing better. They might say nice things in front of you but I bet its not all nice when you are not there.

It's Thai nature to be like that.

My neigbours are lovely to my wife, son and me. But they ALL talk about everyone else on the street. Sure as he'll talk about us when we are not there.

Don't be so wet behind the ears!

[sarahsbloke]

Also I do not speak Thai and never will because of a hearing disability, I also do not work and neither dose my wife, She also is the talk of the village as being so lucky ,as she no longer has to work 12 hrs a day 7 days a week.

You freely admit to not understanding Thai, so how do you know what anyone thinks of you?

Your wife tells you .... Sorry, not a relaible source, everything will be edited to make her look good!

Edited May 30, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[needforspeed]

Also I do not speak Thai and never will because of a hearing disability, I also do not work and neither dose my wife, She also is the talk of the village as being so lucky ,as she no longer has to work 12 hrs a day 7 days a week.

You freely admit to not understanding Thai, so how do you know what anyone thinks of you?

Your wife tells you .... Sorry, not a relaible source, everything will be edited to make her look good!

Here we are, many times its just better to not understand what people saying

[Berkshire]

Also I do not speak Thai and never will because of a hearing disability, I also do not work and neither dose my wife, She also is the talk of the village as being so lucky ,as she no longer has to work 12 hrs a day 7 days a week.

You freely admit to not understanding Thai, so how do you know what anyone thinks of you?

Your wife tells you .... Sorry, not a relaible source, everything will be edited to make her look good!

I was alone in a restaurant once, sitting next to three Thai guys speaking somewhat loudly. A farang guy/Thai woman couple walks in and sits nearby. The Thai guys look at this couple and are saying to each other in Thai, "geez, how do these farang guys find such ugly Thai women all the time?" The farang guy, obviously a non-Thai speaker, but senses they are talking about him, asks his teeruk what they are saying. Without hesitation, she tells him they are saying "why do farang guys get all the pretty Thai women? Farang guys are so lucky!" Ignorance is bliss. True story.

[kikoman]

Also I do not speak Thai and never will because of a hearing disability, I also do not work and neither dose my wife, She also is the talk of the village as being so lucky ,as she no longer has to work 12 hrs a day 7 days a week.

You freely admit to not understanding Thai, so how do you know what anyone thinks of you?

Your wife tells you .... Sorry, not a relaible source, everything will be edited to make her look good!

I do not care what people say about me in English, Spanish .Thai, behind my back. I do not look for a sinister purpose to their friendship!

When they give me gifts of homemade teak wood furniture, when they helped me pour my drive way and refuse any payment, we fed and brought the drinks. When they give my a chair and a drink and plug in the fan to keep me cool when I visit their homes . When they bring over food they have cooked and my wife does the same. When they visit me when I am sick. One can tell of genuine friendship from fake friendship.

By the intimacy of your interactions, at frist I was taken back by a male ,touching me because of my macho Mexican heritage. but now I am use to it.

I live my life the best I can every day, and do not look for negatives or have any type of complex'es related to my relationships.

Also having lived in some of the baddest barrios in Los Angeles and Tucson , and worked in most of Arizona's prison as a Veterans Counselor , I am in no way "Wet" behind the ears.

Cheers

[onnut]

Also I do not speak Thai and never will because of a hearing disability, I also do not work and neither dose my wife, She also is the talk of the village as being so lucky ,as she no longer has to work 12 hrs a day 7 days a week.

You freely admit to not understanding Thai, so how do you know what anyone thinks of you?

Your wife tells you .... Sorry, not a relaible source, everything will be edited to make her look good!

I was alone in a restaurant once, sitting next to three Thai guys speaking somewhat loudly. A farang guy/Thai woman couple walks in and sits nearby. The Thai guys look at this couple and are saying to each other in Thai, "geez, how do these farang guys find such ugly Thai women all the time?" The farang guy, obviously a non-Thai speaker, but senses they are talking about him, asks his teeruk what they are saying. Without hesitation, she tells him they are saying "why do farang guys get all the pretty Thai women? Farang guys are so lucky!" Ignorance is bliss. True story.

LOL, you would think she would be pissed off! Gotta love it.

[TheWalkingMan]

...

One time I was describing some local neighbor drama to my folks back home and their reaction was, "jeez...sounds like u are living in a ghetto". That was kind of a wake up call to me. It was indeed like living in some ghetto or maybe a trailer park in Appalachia...and I was living in a highish(for thailand) rent townhouse in Phuket.

...

The ghetto...

Yep. I remember about 25 years ago watching the US TV news program '60 Minutes' and they were doing a piece on some rundown (ghetto) areas in Boston. The folks interviewed their were complaining vigorously about minorities moving into their area. A buddy of mine and self had a discussion about this and concluded that people in ghetto areas always cause unnecessary drama for slights committed against them whether real or imagined.

People in wealthy areas, as an example by another post, get on with life and by pass the petty stuff.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Thailand is nice and in many ways wonderful, but seems overly full of people who act/react like people from the ghettos of the USA. The pettiness, the ones saying falangs are the root of all evil (in the USA, a percentage of african-americans who live in the ghetto blame the white man and the poor white folks tend to blame the minorities), the easy access of guns, drugs, the amount of violence, cell phone usage with loud music or a loud television playing, violence just under the surface (in the USA it is more in your face so at least you get a warning), litter all over the place and so on. Yep, so very similar to the USA.

TheWalkingMan

[sarahsbloke]

"geez, how do these farang guys find such ugly Thai women all the time?"

I too have heard this many times ..... usually followed by ........ something like

Pheu see-dam, jamook bairn, na-pak my dee (skin black, nose flat, forehead no good)

Pretty much always purely racial insults against Issan girls

I once asked a Thai lady why she dated such ugly white men ...... answer "you all look same, big nose"

Good looks as judged by Thai people appear to be primarily based on skin colour, light pretty, dark ugly.

My friend has a gf with very dark skin, my wife will hardly speak to her (too ugly and lo-so), great fun when we go out together.

Edited May 30, 2010 by sarahsbloke