Miserable Old Farang Women!

[CLASBYCLAN]

This is by no means the first time that I have had encounters with "miserable" old farang women, but this time my frustration (anger) has caused me to share my experience with others.

I have lived in Chiang Mai for three years now, one of the things I love about living in Thailand is the way Thai people love children and create a safe and nurturing environment for them.

I have two Sons, 5 and 3, my 5 year old had a piano lesson this morning and as I had to wait with my 3 year old Son, I decided to kill time my taking him to get his nails cut, of course I would never take my Son to a "Salon" in the UK, but this is Thailand!

On walking in, the beautiful assistants gave my Son lots of attention (he has blue eyes and blond hair). Unfortunately, they seated us next to a miserable old farang women, whom I made eye contact with and smiled, even though she looked at me she just scowled. My THREE year old Son, whom was there at MY request not his, and is a BOY with no interest in manicures, then sat quietly as the assistant proceeded to cut first his toe nails, then his finger nails. He was quiet, sometimes pulling his feet away from the assistant as he was tickled. By NO stretch of the imagination was he crying, screaming, being rude, hitting, spitting or any of the things that I consider to be "bad" behaviour. When it got to finishing his second hand he said "no more Mummy". I tried pursueding him by saying "oh come on, you've done so well, can the lady just finish..", but he had out done a three year olds ability to stay interested and proceeded to leave the chair. The beautiful assistant just smiled and said "no problem".

It was at this point, that the miserable old women spoke, and I have obviously been in Thailand for so long, that I expected her to be kind and offer some words of wisdom, but she said, sternly "what he needs is a good smack on the bottom", I was actually shocked into silence, she proceeded "if he were mine I would have done it ages ago", at which I was confused as he had been sitting quietly apart from the occasional childish behaviour (he is a child)!

As we were leaving the beautiful assistants continued to smile at my Son, and when I asked them how much they wanted they said "no charge", I told them that that was really sweet, and I will definitely return for my own manicures.

My point of posting is not to attack this miserable old farang women (ok, maybe just a little), or to vent my anger (ok, I do feel better now), but to ask you, why do you think that Thai people are so understanding and loving towards children, and old ugly (sorry, but she was) miserable farangs want them to be seen and not heard and beat them?

I really am interested to hear your replys, especially if you have had any similar experiences!

Edited July 26, 2010 by CLASBYCLAN

[sarahsbloke]

The Thai lady living next door to me takes her 3-4 year old son into the yard and beats the shit out of him with a stick.

(about twice a month)

The screams and crying are awful to hear.

Edited July 26, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[CLASBYCLAN]

The Thai lady living next door to me takes her 3-4 year old son into the yard and beats the shit out of him with a stick.

(about twice a month)

The screams and crying are awful to hear.

Oh no, that's awful, so that's why Thai kids are so well behaved!!

Edited July 26, 2010 by CLASBYCLAN

[newbie001]

I don't think that race or culture has to do with it. I think that it is more likely the case that she never had children. Those that have never had or never wanted children are less likely to be understanding of other people's children. Besides in general we are never bothered by what we ourselves do, it is only the same transgression by others that bother us.

Also you must remember that for many women going to the salon is a religious and spiritual experience. The only sanctuary that many have to get away from the world and especially children. The last thing that a woman wants to see is a child, no matter how well behaved his parents think him to be.

You violated her zone of serenity.

Ok. I am being a little dramatic, but there are always two sides.

I don't think that you have been in Thailand long enough, not if you were upset by this woman. Why care or get bothered by what any stranger says?

I also will never understand why expats here call other white expats Farrang. Always sounds retarded to me. Kind of akin to calling their spouses Thai wives. A wife is a wife, a person is a person. I don't think that nationality needs to be added to give a better description of a person's actions.

[CLASBYCLAN]

Yes, I agree newbie001, we did invade her serenity. However, I did not asked to be seated next to her, and the point is that I immediately could tell by her face that she would not appreciate us sitting next to her. If it were me, and someone else in my situation I would have smiled, even made conversation with the child to be friendly.

With regards to my use of the world farang, Im not particularly fond of the term myself, however I wanted to point out to people that this women was not Thai, but a "foreigner" here, and that is the term that Thai people use.

Peace.

[CobraSnakeNecktie]

I have wondered about that myself.

Okay so a foreigner calls someone else a Farang.

That would seem to indicate they don't include themselves as being Farang.

It's like a caucasian fellow in the US calling some white guys "Crackers"

Everyone within earshot is going to do a <deleted>

[WinnieTheKhwai]

I agree with you, but not sure I would chalk any of it up to either her race or gender.

(Now I hate myself for being such a P.C. liberal softie, but there you go. )

LOVELY picture of your son by the way.. He's not half Thai is he, or how else did you achieve the blue eye thing? (Interested to know. ) )

[CLASBYCLAN]

I have wondered about that myself.

Okay so a foreigner calls someone else a Farang.

That would seem to indicate they don't include themselves as being Farang.

It's like a caucasian fellow in the US calling some white guys "Crackers"

Everyone within earshot is going to do a <deleted>

Sigh.. this has nothing to do with my topic. Of course I don't refer to myself or my expat friends as Farangs, I am calling this women a Farang to point out that she was not Thai and there are clearly social differences in the acceptance of children. Of course I'm Farang!

Back to the point... why should I smack my kid??

[eek]

EDIT: Sticking the edit up here, because on reflection maybe you meant to right "womAn, not womEN". ..

--

There are miserable people everywhere of all nationalities. To title your thread "Miserable Old Farang Women" comes over that you do in fact wish to vent your anger, not just at this Lady, but making a sweeping gesture about older farang ladies in Chiang Mai in general. If its a common occurrence then im sorry for you, because ive met a lot of older ladies here and they seem lovely. Not all Thai people are sweet and lovely too..if you are fluent in Thai, you probably have overheard some of the things they may say when they think you dont understand.

Just because this one woman griped about your son doesnt mean women in general deserve to be labeled in this way. In any case, doesnt sound like she is miserable at all. Sounds like she was just one of those people who voice their opinions where its not wanted. That may make her rude, or impolite, or direct..but i dont really see it as miserable.

The last sentence of your thread concerns me, because inviting members to share stories of similar experiences is trollish and an invitation to snipe about members of our community.

I would say that in life we all have interactions with negative people from time to time..or people that we do not share views with. Let it go. Its not worth it.

Because of the nature of this thread I believe its best closed. If you have a problem with that then pm me and/or contact support[at]thaivisa.com.

Sorry to voice my opinion first, then close, without giving you an opportunity to reply, but hope you understand my reasoning for closing. Regards.

//Closed//

Edited July 26, 2010 by eek
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