Cougars Real Or Not?

[sbk]

* A psychology researcher from the University of Wales Institute recently conducted a study on what women want and shockingly, it's not younger men. After examining 22,400 ads on dating websites, he concluded that women really want older men.

"I do believe the cougar phenomenon is a myth and, yes, a media construct," said Dunn. However, self-identified cougars—and other pro-cougar entrepreneurs, like Rich Gosse of CougarEvents.com—aren't thrilled with his findings. Weirdly, in the whole pro/anti cougar debate, the cougar defenders come out as slightly more feminist than the detractors.

Read more: http://jezebel.com/5616888/study-says-cougars-arent-real#ixzz0xCZInVuH

[IanForbes]

I think "cougars" (Euphemism for women on the prowl) is and over stated fallacy created for sensationalism. I think women pretty much want what most men want... someone who can string more than two sentences together in a manner that makes sense, and "maybe" provide a little lovin. Anything more than that is a bonus. The press loves to stereotype and create a story where there isn't one.

But, maybe I'm wrong because I seldom spend much time in New York bars anymore. The local bars in the small town where I live are usually filled with couples or groups of people. I can't say I've ever noticed women on the prowl or men on the prowl. But then, maybe I'm just not looking hard enough.

[dmax]

any of you ever been to the gambia ?

[sbk]

Not saying they don't exist, I just don't know that they are as widespread as the media hype would suggest.

And what is the definition? 10 year? 20 year?

Does a 7 year difference a cougar make? It certainly doesn't if the roles are reversed and its a man, so why would it for a woman? Unless of course, we are going to suggest that there are double standards for women.

[tutsiwarrior]

well...cougaring does happen; a story I related on TV regarding hitchhiking from Berkeley to SF awhile back involved a woman who was nearly 10 years older when I was 23 and an previous girlfriend in latin america was 5 years older; not too much older but I was only 16 and the arrangement was scandalous...then there was the 35 y/o neighbor of a friend in Pasadena when I was 19 and I balked; too weird for me and she was aggressive...later the mom of my high school girl friend who was 20 years older but I initiated that one...she was irresistible...

dunno...if yer having a good time at the moment then <deleted>? strangely enough I've never been attracted to young wimmin...in my later years I've always gone for 35 and above...they're usually more laid back and easier to hang around with...had an indonesian gf who was my age at 45 and she was dynamite, we had a great time...the previous was 37 and I've never had better sex or attention ever, it failed as I suffered from the Saul Bellow 'asian lady/guilt' syndrome in Herzog: 'she gave me everything she had to give, but I did not have the strength of character to appreciate it...'...a western man's lament...

[jhabiolar]

dunno why i kind of got the older women thing in me

[ClaritySeeker]

Well not all women want older men either. But in general I'd say the relative maturity level of men has a lot to do with it. If you are say a late 20's woman looking to get married and start a family an early

20's guy is not going to be a good bet. You're more likely to find a suitable match in someone older than you and ready for the same thing. However, if you are a woman for whom marriage and kids is not a

priority then choosing an older man is not always the best thing.

I personally hate the term, in the same way I hate the idea of middle aged men chasing after young girls in an effort to prove they've 'still got it'. There's something about it that reeks of mid-life crisis. I have nothing

against people choosing partners younger than them however if it's merely a preference born of love for that person. I think whether or not a woman says she wants an older or younger mate comes down to where she is in life, what her aspirations are, and her own age. Women are generally less tolerant of immaturity in mates than say men are and would find a young hot thing seriously lacking in personal maturity quite boring within a very short period of time.

I generally date men 10yrs younger than me, but only if they display the required level of maturity and have a compatible lifestyle. I'm not interested in chasing younger guys just because they look good.

Edited October 25, 2010 by ClaritySeeker

[britmaveric]

So clarity you a "kitten" or a "cougar"?

I am sure cougars exist, to be honest I think every young lad's fantasy is to be with an older woman.

Edited October 25, 2010 by britmaveric

[ClaritySeeker]

So clarity you a "kitten" or a "cougar"?

I am sure cougars exist, to be honest I think every young lad's fantasy is to be with an older woman.

I'm not sure I should admit to either... Every young lads fantasy eh? Now that's a nice way to think about myself...

[ExpatJ]

I personally hate the term, in the same way I hate the idea of middle aged men chasing after young girls in an effort to prove they've 'still got it'. There's something about it that reeks of mid-life crisis.

Its not that middle aged men want younger women to see 'if they still got it' they want them because a young, firm 20 yr old body has much to recommend it over a 30-50- yr old ladies body!

Edited October 26, 2010 by ExpatJ

[ExpatJ]

I think "cougars" (Euphemism for women on the prowl) is and over stated fallacy created for sensationalism. I think women pretty much want what most men want... someone who can string more than two sentences together in a manner that makes sense, and "maybe" provide a little lovin. Anything more than that is a bonus. The press loves to stereotype and create a story where there isn't one.

But, maybe I'm wrong because I seldom spend much time in New York bars anymore. The local bars in the small town where I live are usually filled with couples or groups of people. I can't say I've ever noticed women on the prowl or men on the prowl. But then, maybe I'm just not looking hard enough.

I think cougars are looking for young men not for serious long term relationships but more for short term fun. I have also come across quite a few thai ladies in their 30s who hangout in Khao San road bars to pick up young farang backpackers for a night of fun (these same ladies are also looking for serious relationships with older farang men but are quite happy to play with the younger guys in the meantime---- in fact some of them already have an smart, good conversationalist and caring older farang bf:-).

[sbk]

I personally hate the term, in the same way I hate the idea of middle aged men chasing after young girls in an effort to prove they've 'still got it'. There's something about it that reeks of mid-life crisis.

Its not that middle aged men want younger women to see 'if they still got it' they want them because a young, firm 20 yr old body has much to recommend it over a 30-50- yr old ladies body!

so why would it be any different with an older woman? what makes it so unlikely that women also find flabby guys their age or older unattractive or young guys attractive?

[ExpatJ]

I personally hate the term, in the same way I hate the idea of middle aged men chasing after young girls in an effort to prove they've 'still got it'. There's something about it that reeks of mid-life crisis.

Its not that middle aged men want younger women to see 'if they still got it' they want them because a young, firm 20 yr old body has much to recommend it over a 30-50- yr old ladies body!

so why would it be any different with an older woman? what makes it so unlikely that women also find flabby guys their age or older unattractive or young guys attractive?

I agree with what you are saying , its no different. My point was that i think clarityseeker's assessment of why middle age men go for younger girls is off the mark i think - in the same way cougars prefer young mens bodies/'power' middle aged men chase younger ladies just because they have firm, hot bods not particularly because it makes them think' they still got it'.

Edited October 26, 2010 by ExpatJ

[Junglejingle]

Age is just a number really... is it not??

[britmaveric]

I'm not sure I should admit to either... Every young lads fantasy eh? Now that's a nice way to think about myself...

I think it's called Mrs Robinson Syndrome - however like I said nothing wrong with an older woman - few older ladies I'd often thought about... Raquel Welch, Sophia Loren.

[Patsycat]

I am 47.

Figure...

[britmaveric]

More experienced older lady teaches the young buck a thing or two about life...

[F1fanatic]

I can honestly say that I've never known a woman 'looking' for a younger man.

A few of us (in our early thirties) had a brief relationship with a younger man though (when they chased us), until we realised they had nothing worthwhile to talk about....

I'm sure there are a few (v few) bored, old, wealthy women out there looking for a young man to prove how attractive they are, but its far from the norm.

[sbk]

Apparently its pretty commonplace with European women in Africa and American women in Jamaica. But then, that may not necessarily be about the age thing

[F1fanatic]

Apparently its pretty commonplace with European women in Africa and American women in Jamaica. But then, that may not necessarily be about the age thing

Take your word for it.

[britmaveric]

Quite common as SBK aptly puts it - add Italy, Greece and Turkey to the list where older ladies have relationships with much younger lads.

Edited October 31, 2010 by britmaveric

[Raesum]

Apparently its pretty commonplace with European women in Africa and American women in Jamaica. But then, that may not necessarily be about the age thing

They even have a name for the guys who like to look after the older woman in Bali-Kuta Kowboys.Interesting reading on Google

[craigt3365]

I can honestly say that I've never known a woman 'looking' for a younger man.

A few of us (in our early thirties) had a brief relationship with a younger man though (when they chased us), until we realised they had nothing worthwhile to talk about....

I'm sure there are a few (v few) bored, old, wealthy women out there looking for a young man to prove how attractive they are, but its far from the norm.

When I was 40, I did the internet dating thing while living and working in New York City. I was amazed at all the emails I got from older women...dozens. And when I would send an email out to a woman near my age or just a little younger, they would reply that they "only date younger men". Happened all the time.

Apparently its pretty commonplace with European women in Africa and American women in Jamaica. But then, that may not necessarily be about the age thing

Very commonplace in many places around the world. Bali, Thailand, Africa, Tunisia, part of South America, etc. I've see it quite a bit. Good for them! Unfortunately, us guys don't get better with age regarding sexual stamina...it's all downhill after the late teens....

I know it happened with me. I was 19, she was 30 something.

[fletchsmile]

Real