Tired Of The Farang Lady Diatribe!

[kat]

RedEyes:

I've seen the looks of contempt, and I know what you mean. I have a male friend with a lovely Thai wife, and I've seen those looks. It got my hackles up.

I've also seen a lot of men worthy of contempt here, but I never give them a second glance. Funny enough, plenty of them give me one, though. I find that I get a lot of curious glances, and a few that are hostile for absolutely no reason.

[kat]

sbk,

So lets review.

Western men 'haven't got the balls'

We are misogynistic.

You are 'intimidating'.

So basically your Andrea Dworkin.

Oh and there's a very pretty young girl sitting just over there.  Hmm... wonder which of the two of you I wish to spend time with...

DOH!  (copyright Homer Simpson) 

OK let do the checklist:

I am ugly

Can't get a woman in my own society

Can't handle 'real' women

Have small penis

Want a slave not a relationship

Anything I left out?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think I recognize you from another forum named after a fruit sauce. Am I right?

[loong]

But I'm damned if a week does not go past without some western women making rude comments about how I should 'ACT my age' date my own kind' etc etc. They also for some reason want to have a conversation with me about how men 'oppress' woman and seem to hold me personally responsible for it and tell me that I am 'oppressing' the women I date.

I have to agree with this comment.

More than a few times I have been asked by a woman "How can you stay in a place where women are 2nd class citizens and subservient to their men?"

They are surprised when I tell them that the women in Thailand are the backbone of the country and more often than not 'wear the trousers in the relationship'

In most aspects my girlfriend and I are equals in our relationship, but western women often cannot accept or believe this.

[Galong]

Never have sex with someone who understands what you're saying...

It's worked for me for quite a while now.

Perhaps some of us simply want a sweet woman who doesn't give us crap all the time. You're not all that way of course, but it's enough to not risk time trying to find a good 'un. Consider yourself lucky that this isn't a dating forum. [stepping off of soap box now]

[alaina]

While all the rantings about Western women being, "unfeminine, man-hating feminazis" gets old it's better that it gets out in the open. (Gosh, wanting to own land, vote, and eventually gain equal pay for equal work gets one compared to the Third Reich... I'll save it for another discussion.)

Some days I place this sentiment to be a minority within the Thailand expat community and others I just get exasperated by what isn't said.

Why do I go out with male friends and when friends of friends join I sometimes am met with immediate disdain, having said nothing? Why do some men go out of their way not to even look in my direction? I read the sweeping generalizations made by a few here and that gives me insight into the baggage some who come here have. (Matching genuine Louis Vuitton sets in some special cases.)

I find it harder to keep an open mind about the men here when these sentiments get expressed in such irrational, hateful and often indirect ways here. What is even sadder is that some male expats try an enforce a conformity of opinion on other men about the "Evils of Western women." Many men's opinions get silenced because they will become targets of the vitriol. (Which makes stopping at a Pattaya go-go bar entertaining just to knowingly wave at all the f*cks who give the guy I am dating a hard time.) Thanks to the men who endure it to do the right thing.

[niall]

Kat,

If you mean Mango Sauce then yes but haven't been there for ages. Thought it had been shut down...

[Nam Kao]

Lady falangs are just jealous of the beautiful sweet Thai poo yings

[kat]

"Kat,

If you mean Mango Sauce then yes but haven't been there for ages. Thought it had been shut down... "

Yeah, I knew that was you. I don't mind saying now that I was Isabel II

Edited July 24, 2005 by kat

[kat]

Lady falangs are just jealous of the beautiful sweet Thai poo yings

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Then why is it that most of the time when I'm trying to avoid her and the Neanderthal next to her, she either gives me evil looks or an obvious performance of happy she is

I guess most men can't see through this bullshit, but women know a performer as soon as they see one

Hey, we all deserve what we get, and I feel so lucky and privileged not to deserve the bulk of men washed up on these shores

[niall]

Pearl,

Whilst I would chose to avoid western women in social situations in the situation you describe, that is meeting friends of friends I would attempt to engage all parties in conversation as I would consider it rude to do otherwise.

However I would caution western men that this is not without its dangers. On one occasion my attempts to be pleasant were misinterpreted as trying to 'chat her up' as it seems some western women can not conceive of a conversation with a male that does not contain sexual overtones.

I had to laugh in her face and inform her that frankly I had see more attractive howler monkeys. Her boyfriend was forced to act offended but as we both know he goes home smelling of soap more often than not he couldn't take it too far as we would have both burst out laughing.

Plus thank you for informing me about the latest male conspiracy. I was aware that 'men rule the world' as only this morning George Bush contacted me again to ask my opinion about the Iraq situation, as he said I have a penis therefore he had to. I was not aware of western males trying to enforce an attitude about western women in Thailand but now I know.

[alaina]

Lady falangs are just jealous of the beautiful sweet Thai poo yings

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks for sorting the whole thing out so succintly.

I'll just go back to crying in my hagen das and watching Love Story now. Or was I castrating men and burning my bra? The profundity of your statement has caused me to forget.

Oh wait, I remember now. I was just going to draw you a picture:

[kat]

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

[OlRedEyes]

Lively conversation

Edited July 24, 2005 by OlRedEyes

[alaina]

Pearl,

Whilst I would chose to avoid western women in social situations in the situation you describe, that is meeting friends of friends I would attempt to engage all parties in conversation as I would consider it rude to do otherwise.

However I would caution western men that this is not without its dangers.  On one occasion my attempts to be pleasant were misinterpreted as trying to 'chat her up' as it seems some western women can not conceive of a conversation with a male that does not contain sexual overtones.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Misunderstandings between men and women only happen when Western women are involved?

Going anywhere (shopping, to work, etc.) alone with a Western male friends here has

also been seen as me "hitting on them" by association alone.

Plus thank you for informing me about the latest male conspiracy.  I was aware that 'men rule the world' as only this morning George Bush contacted me again to ask my opinion about the Iraq situation, as he said I have a penis therefore he had to.  I was not aware of western males trying to enforce an attitude about western women in Thailand but now I know.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If you don't think that men get a hard time when refuting malicious things said about Western women, do a search on this board. While you're at it, search for the reactions when someone says equally racist things about Thai women.

[sbk]

Red Eyes,

I am with you on this.

I have never seen a western man dishing out on a western woman.  Most western men I now just do not want to talk to a western women socially.  If this has happened, as the starter of this thread suggest it has then that is unfortunate but IMHO opinion untypical. 

The 'attitude' from Western woman toward us seems universal though.

As I said I just want to be left alone.

Perhaps me contributing to this thread is a contradiction but...

Re-read the posting before your own. Is this not dishing out?

And Niall, if you just want to be left alone, why are you here?

sbk,

So lets review.

Western men 'haven't got the balls'

We are misogynistic.

You are 'intimidating'.

So basically your Andrea Dworkin.

Oh and there's a very pretty young girl sitting just over there. Hmm... wonder which of the two of you I wish to spend time with...

DOH! (copyright Homer Simpson)

OK let do the checklist:

I am ugly

Can't get a woman in my own society

Can't handle 'real' women

Have small penis

Want a slave not a relationship

Anything I left out?

You really don't want me to answer this one.

Did I say you are misogynistic? Why so defensive? Why get personal and nasty to me when you don't even know me? Did I get personal and nasty about you? I was joking around, too bad you don't have a sense of humor enough to even see a joke. Frankly you are living proof of the original posters complaint.

Be warned boys, Boo and I are keeping an eye on this thread. If you must regress to Neanderthal level may I suggest you write it up in notepad on your computer and then quietly delete it? You are in the Ladies forum and if you can't be polite then may I suggest you leave???

[sbk]

And redeyes, just because you had enough sense to go back and delete that post doesn't mean I didn't see it. Doesn't mean I am not keeping an eye on your contributions to this thread.

Figured out it wasn't a good idea to insult a mod in her own forum, hmm?

[OxfordWill]

Well, I have to agree with Boo, I have lived in Thailand for the past 16 years and have never encountered any western male with the guts (ahem, was gonna use another word but figured it would be censored ) to speak to my face the way some of the amazingly misogynistic bozos  have posted on this forum.

I'm happy to meet up with you and discuss the subject. I've met some western girls form this forum already and a darn nice bunch of people they are too. I have met Kat for example, who has posted in this thread, and is a real catch for any guy (although I'm too young for her ). However I am not 'misogynistic' so you won't hear those comments from me. I am however the type of guy who chooses to prefer asian girls despite having previously not done so. Definitely happy to discuss it face to face with anyone, the problem is that the more genuine (in the sense that we have valid arguments to support our racial selectivity) among us get lumped together with those who do just monger the hatred for women and those who have had sufficiently negative experiences to want to avoid any similar type of individual in future.

Edited July 24, 2005 by OxfordWill

[sbk]

Actually Oxfordwill, my point was that the ones who post the nastiest bs on the forums are the last ones to have enough nerve to say it to someone's face. It is far easier to spew hate and bs anonymously.

I, for one, don't have any issue with a man with a Thai wife. How could I? I have a Thai husband. I see the attraction.

[OlRedEyes]

sbk,

So lets review.

Western men 'haven't got the balls'

We are misogynistic.

You are 'intimidating'.

So basically your Andrea Dworkin.

Oh and there's a very pretty young girl sitting just over there. Hmm... wonder which of the two of you I wish to spend time with...

DOH! (copyright Homer Simpson)

OK let do the checklist:

I am ugly

Can't get a woman in my own society

Can't handle 'real' women

Have small penis

Want a slave not a relationship

Anything I left out?

You really don't want me to answer this one.

Did I say you are misogynistic? Why so defensive? Why get personal and nasty to me when you don't even know me? Did I get personal and nasty about you? I was joking around, too bad you don't have a sense of humor enough to even see a joke. Frankly you are living proof of the original posters complaint.

Be warned boys, Boo and I are keeping an eye on this thread. If you must regress to Neanderthal level may I suggest you write it up in notepad on your computer and then quietly delete it? You are in the Ladies forum and if you can't be polite then may I suggest you leave???

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

A touch of humor with a twist of incisive disdain, topped with a generous dollop of superiority.

[TRIPxCORE]

Every individual is entitled to their own preference. If Western men want to avoid Western women and concentrate on women from another race, then so be it. If Western women feel thats ridiculous and look upon these sorts of men with contempt and want nothing to do with them, then so be it. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, there is no reason to fight about it. Just let it be.

[sbk]

A touch of humor with a twist of incisive disdain, topped with a generous dollop of superiority.

Thanks, I know.

[OxfordWill]

Every individual is entitled to their own preference.  If Western men want to avoid Western women and concentrate on women from another race, then so be it.  If Western women feel thats ridiculous and look upon these sorts of men with contempt and want nothing to do with them, then so be it.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, there is no reason to fight about it.  Just let it be.

And come to think of it, what's the point of discussion at all! Mine's a chang.

"I’m entitled to my opinions". What rubbish! Whether you are or are not entitled to hold and express an opinion on a subject depends on several factors including whether you have thought long and hard about it, are familiar with the evidence, and if you can handle any objections raised. As a rational being, you are entitled to think for yourself, and to try to arrive at comfortable view for yourself. This is a right to think for yourself, to form your own opinion – it is not a right to affirm and defend any old prejudice. I realise you're trying to be helpful, TripxCore, but in reality the attitude you display here is counter-constructive in its relativistic dissasembly of any progression this kind of thread may ever have. If you want people to stop getting 'heated' over a subject, the worst thing to do is remind us how easy going we should all be with one another's possible faults/prejudices.

If it is possible I am wrong to think this way about the majority of western females then I want these ladies and others to help me realise this, rather than pander to my potential fault. Conversely, if I am right and the majority of western women need to seriously alter their behaviour then it does me no good to just say 'ah well, they're entitled to their opinions..'

Edited July 24, 2005 by OxfordWill

[chuchok]

Every individual is entitled to their own preference.  If Western men want to avoid Western women and concentrate on women from another race, then so be it.  If Western women feel thats ridiculous and look upon these sorts of men with contempt and want nothing to do with them, then so be it.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, there is no reason to fight about it.  Just let it be.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I would have to agree.The same way that some western women prefer Asian men.

Me, I prefer anybody with a sence of humour.

[OlRedEyes]

And redeyes, just because you had enough sense to go back and delete that post doesn't mean I didn't see it. Doesn't mean I am not keeping an eye on your contributions to this thread.

Figured out  it wasn't a  good idea to insult a mod in her own forum, hmm?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Insulting is not my strong point, I think.

Actually it was a which was intended to follow the post of niall, but while my hands were shakingly trying to find the icon with the little mouse, you posted, so the was not applicable without a quote anymore, and I was too tired to do the quote thingy so I deleted it and....

[niall]

SBK,

I believe that the original poster invited comments from both males and females and as she is looking for reasons why western men have negative attitudes to western women I would have thought that western males explaining themselves was entirely to the point, female forum or no.

If you want to ban males from posting on a thread they were invited to because it is in a 'female only' forum then please say so.

As for your original post being a joke. Do I hear the sound of you rapidly backing off from your claim that all the males who post in here dare not repeat what they type here to your face because they don't have the 'ahem' guts, and they are all 'ahem' misogynists? If not please explain in what society such claims could be considered a joke?

[cdnvic]

[

The problem I think is that men have an old-fashioned idea of how they want women to be.  Men would like the women they are pursuing to be similar to how women back in the 1950's were, in terms of personality.  Most women back then didn't play so many games, weren't concerned so much with a man's monetary or social situation per se, and considered themselves lucky to find a man that wanted to marry them and provide them with a family.

I think that back in that time women were much more worried about a man's income and social position as she was more or less totally dependant on her husband to provide both at that time. Manners and discresion being actually common back then however, she would never voice her opinion publicly on this.

Personally, I feel less pressure with women who can make their own way in the world. I suppose if I were insecure enough I could have looked for a girl who would have been totally dependant on me, meaning my shortcomings would be overlooked so long as she was fed and housed.

I've been married now a couple years, and in all our time together I still can't say which one of us is the boss, and only once recall actually putting my foot down and telling her not to do something.

In my defense, it was a really silly-looking hat.

cv

[sbk]

Actually, the joke was about me being intimidating. The serious part was men who find it easy to post anonymously yet wouldn't really have the nerve to say it to my face. In my original post I said I have lived here for 16 years and have never had a farang man say rude things to my face. I have, however, had farang men on this forum post the absolute rudest things.

Did I name names? Did I even say it was in this thread? You are a major generalizer buddy, you need to reread my post. I did not say men can't post, I said that they have to be polite. Is that too hard to do anymore these days?

[OxfordWill]

I did the same thing cv, it's just that ferrets would have made mayhem with the sofas!

[OlRedEyes]

A touch of humor with a twist of incisive disdain, topped with a generous dollop of superiority.

Thanks, I know. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

But with a disturbing amount of sincerity....

Excuse me, whats a mysc.. mys misogynistic - pasted really. Ingish not my language.

[chuchok]

[

The problem I think is that men have an old-fashioned idea of how they want women to be.  Men would like the women they are pursuing to be similar to how women back in the 1950's were, in terms of personality.  Most women back then didn't play so many games, weren't concerned so much with a man's monetary or social situation per se, and considered themselves lucky to find a man that wanted to marry them and provide them with a family.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think that back in that time women were much more worried about a man's income and social position as she was more or less totally dependant on her husband to provide both at that time. Manners and discresion being actually common back then however, she would never voice her opinion publicly on this.

Personally, I feel less pressure with women who can make their own way in the world. I suppose if I were insecure enough I could have looked for a girl who would have been totally dependant on me, meaning my shortcomings would be overlooked so long as she was fed and housed.

I've been married now a couple years, and in all our time together I still can't say which one of us is the boss, and only once recall actually putting my foot down and telling her not to do something.

In my defense, it was a really silly-looking hat.

cv

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm the boss...honest.