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Glitterman Speaks About [M] Glittermans Nuts From Mars

glitterman

By glitterman
in Pattaya

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glitterman Senior Member

glitterman

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Thank you for choosing this 'Glitterman' product. 'Nuts from Mars' should reach you in a satisfactory condition, and fulfill your questionable expectations.

The Almighty and Powerful Wizard is back and gives you;

PARABLE 7680947835786540878790605699520080195854768760986675858848849687764992, The Parable of Nuts from Mars.

....................And so, cycling slowly along Beach Road one day, the great Golden Glitterman did happen to see the Chanel 7 News team,

"Mr Golden Glitterman, a few question please," Said the interviewer, "Is it true that your author, known only as James Bond for the last decade is in fact a member of the British Royal Family and that his uncle is the 7th richest person in England with 1.6 Billion Pounds according to media reports of a decade ago."

The Golden One gave that beautiful Golden man smile, kissed his face mirror and said,

"If a dismayed alien from Mars were to sum up the Earths entire human race it would only take just 3 words; MONEY MONEY MONEY."

The interviewer scratched his head and said, "Are you an alien from Mars Mr Golden Glitterman?'

Just then the Mayor of Pattaya did happen to come running towards the Golden One with a mirror in his hand,

"Save me, save me O Great Golden Glitterman," the Mayor said, "for I have decided to retire, and I want you to take over and be the new Mayor of Pattaya."

The Mayor then held up a mirror in front of the Golden Ones face for the Golden One to look into and kiss repeatedly.

The Golden One thought long and hard about this decision. Then after 25 minuits said,

"Er....Okay."

....................A HUGE parade, led as usual by the Golden One, was followed by a public ceremony outside Central Plaza on Beach Road.

The golden One, standing on a stage spoke into a microphone and addressed the huge crowd with a slow, low voice.

"It is.....indeed.......a great honor.....for me to become......." Suddenly a scream from the crowd was heard,

"A thief has just stolen my heavy gold necklace," Said a panicked lady.

"Fear not Mrs panicked lady said the Golden One, for I am the Great Golden Glitterman and I will relieve you of your temporary panic."

The Golden One then reached into his pocket and threw nuts from Mars at the running thief.

"Whhhoooaaahhhh!" Said the thief as he slipped upon the nuts. causing the necklace to be flung high into the air, far above the crowds and clouds, and come landing around the Golden Ones neck.

Then the Golden One took out his face mirror, and kissing the mirror said,

"I thus accept this gift, got any more?"

Just then an above spotlight exploded, sending sparks on to the Golden Ones feathered hat, igniting his hat into a burst of flames. The crowd uncontrollably laughing as the Golden One screamed a strange unmanly Micheal Jackson type scream, "Yeeooowwww!," and ran into the sea.

Standing in the sea, the flames doused, the Golden One looked up towards the sky and did happen to see a white 7/11 plastic bag floating by in the wind.

Then a HUGE group of many hundreds of 'Hells Angels' club type motorbike riders come riding along Beach road. Upon seeing the Golden One they all stopped and said,

"We are the 3 motorbike clubs of Pattaya, that bag led us to you. We bring you gifts of gold, gold and gold, for you are the chosen one and you will lead us.

With a beautiful smile the Golden One jumped upon his beautiful bicycle and shouted,

"Stuff being the Mayor, this is the life for me."

Then he very slowly led the group of motorbike riders along Beach Road and up to the Buddah Mountain. The deep thunder from the bikes engines causing the earth to quake and rocks to break and the large 'P A T T A Y A city' sign to slide.

"Ooooppsss!," Said one rider, "we have caused a landslide."

The Golden One and the hundreds of riders stood on top of the mountain, watching Pattaya City slowly vanish into the mud. After 15 minuits the entire city had vanished.

"Looks a bit bare." said the Golden One, and stuffed Nuts from Mars into the exhaust pipe of one of the bikes, revved the engine and the nuts flew far out and scattered into the mud. Instantly huge 100 foot alien nut trees grew.

"I dont know," said one rider, "Me Noks down in there, and I kinda miss her."...."Yeah me too"......"And me." said others.

"Huh?" Said the first rider.

"Yes, you are right, Its not the same without old Pattaya." said the Golden One and stuffed more nuts into the bikes exhaust, aimed it out towards the sea, and revved the engine. The nuts splashing far out into the sea, and landed down onto the sea bed. Instantly large alien nut trees grew on the sea bed, causing the sea bed plates to slide making an underwater earth quake.

"Ah!...Here it comes." Said the Golden One.

A huge tsunami came in and washed away all the mud that had covered Pattaya.

"Now everything is back the way it was again." Said the Golden One.

"No, not everything." said one bike rider.

The Golden One slowly turned towards the bike rider, then the Golden One gave that beautiful Golden man smile and said,

"Hello Mr Mayor."

................And everybody, including the Chanel 7 news crew sat down to a wonderful cheese from the moon and nuts from Mars tea party..........AMEN

MORAL OF THE PARABLE IS, Look in the mirror and make that change, or give it a darn good kissing.

Coming sooner or later, Glitterman becomes a balloon chaser and saves the World.

The Royal Glitterman hath Spoken.

Click on this; http://stickmanweekl...Golden-Cape.htm

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Edited by glitterman
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Goshawk Gold Member

Goshawk

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nice... :D

you should get a good cartoonist to illustrate your words & turn them into a colour comic strip, publish them & offer them for sale..

could be the must have novelty Pattaya publication. After, if it grows, get some local sponsors & put some ads in it.. could be huge..! ;)

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Goshawk Gold Member

Goshawk

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No mention of the moon cheese!

did you not pay full attention to the great Glitter's fantastical tale ?

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And everybody, including the Chanel 7 news crew sat down to a wonderful cheese from the moon and nuts from Mars tea party

shame on you... ;)

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soihok Platinum Member

soihok

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nice... :D

you should get a good cartoonist to illustrate your words & turn them into a colour comic strip, publish them & offer them for sale..

could be the must have novelty Pattaya publication. After, if it grows, get some local sponsors & put some ads in it.. could be huge..! ;)

He's got a point here, would sell like hot cakes or moon cheese.

I say Glitterman for mayor, what a great idea!!

Great story, the 7-11 bag leading the three wise men , sorry, motorbike gangs to James Bond.

Brightened my day up, thanks. :)

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