How About Sin Sod Demands After Marriage

[The Skipper]

"If you have already met one and not married, makeup a BS story you lost

everything etc etc (just for a few weeks) and sit back and see what happens.

Make sure the family hears this tragic news. Ask to borrow 500 baht from

a family member. Stop paying for stuff. Fake crying and really pour it on."

Were you a Bar Girl in your past life?

[Khutan]

Maybe the OP could tell the family;

"Oh I have bad luck very big...... My business need oil price to be $37.99 a barrel..... I am now bankrupt...... If I can find an oil well, we can all have good luck"

Worst case, they will all be out digging for oil.

[LoveDaBlues]

Good for you LDB,

---------------------------------

Furthermore I think its better for the falang to come across as poor when you first meet.

Would she have really married you if you were poor? Think about it for a minute. Why didnt

she marry a poor Thai guy?

If you have already met one and not married, makeup a BS story you lost

everything etc etc (just for a few weeks) and sit back and see what happens.

Make sure the family hears this tragic news. Ask to borrow 500 baht from

a family member. Stop paying for stuff. Fake crying and really pour it on.

If she stays with you - she is a keeper.  If she gets whiny and complains

and dumps you - feel very happy my freind as you have just dodged a major bullet

in your life.

Its a good test before marriage.

nam

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good advice but I went a different route. I just flat-out ask her why she would want to be with me as I'm 49 and she's 24. She replied, "because with you I can live a better life and you can help my family". Her honesty and straight forward nature are some of the things I like about her.

Most women in the states are no different........within 5 minutes of meeting they want to know the following: where do you work, what kind of car do you drive, how much money do you have.

My Thai GF provides me companionship and I provide her financial security.....seems like a pretty good deal for everyone involved. And along they way we are falling in love with each other.

On the downside I'm currently in the states but going back in September.

[TRIPxCORE]

  And along they way we are falling in love with each other.

On the downside I'm currently in the states    but going back in September. 

Good to hear. Good luck to you guys my friend!

[LoveDaBlues]

  And along they way we are falling in love with each other.

On the downside I'm currently in the states     but going back in September. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good to hear. Good luck to you guys my friend!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks Joe

[impossible_me]

why did her mom demand a lot sin sod ? her mom is gold digger more my sister married American , her parent didnt demand for sin sod .very stuff so much Thai gold digger wiht farangs

[drummer]

The amount demanded--499,999-- is odd to say the least.

Why not 500,000 baht.

It sounds as if she's needling you

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Not at all ... its more odd that they didn't demand 999 999. Consecuative numbers, especially 9s, are considered especially lucky. It takes at least 3 digits be be lucky, and the more consecuative digits the luckier. If you see a license plate with all the same # it probably cost several million baht to buy.

[ray23]

it is interesting that Thai men all feel the dowry is in fact an acceptable and appropriate thing to do. Some of the farangs on this board should consider this before just blurting out "Sinsod is bullsh1t and a Thai scam".

Well I dont think every Thai man actually gave his opinion and I dare say you would be paying much more than a thai man would at any rate. If you are happy this is all that counts, but I'll stick with my statement sinsod isnt necessary anymore.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think a bit of clarification is in order here, no not every Thai man was asked, the question was asked in a group of highly educated Thai professionals. I didn't ask them if they would pay the same for a bar girl or a non vigin. My own uptake on what I have seen in three years here is that a Thai man only wants a virgin for a wife. Anything else is a Mia Noi or a teelot.

One of the reasons Thia whore houses are so abundent is the simple fact that you only marry a virgin and you may date her for years before you marry. So they go to the house's for the fun and games after thier dates. Up to them.

Amazling to a Thia man the very fact that she would sleep with him before marriage is a reason not to marry her, again up to them.

Thailand is a place with many faces, I don't judge them I just try to understand as best as I can the country I live in.

I fully understand the thought of never revealing your assets, in my case I had developed the trust before I gave any access to my wife or knowledge for that mattter. My wife is given a household budget each month, sometimes she goes over but it is as norm something that I have done not her.

Yes she can get access, if something happens to you and you have not made simple arrangements how is she supposed to act as your life partner would?

Can you get shafted in a devoirce sure you can just as you can anywhere, as I understand Thai law she has a right to 50% of the assets just a she would in my home country.

Your absolutely right people do change, that is the risk in any marriage the only way to truly protect yourself is not to marry. After my retirement from my first career I was a licensed private investigator. I assure you that you asests can be found with very little information to start with. Not hard at all.

My humble opinnion is that marriage is a risk but if it works right, the benefits out weigh the risks, if it goes wrong you loose goose.

I came here with three suit cases and a life time retirement, no matter what I loose I can recover and rebuild just the same way I did when I came. A friend once told me don't bring anything to Thailand that you can't afford to loose.

If things are the only motivator in your life, I can tell you from personal experiernce an earthquake can destroy all your things in a minute. Personally I evaluate my true net worth in the friends I have, not money. But we each have our own estimation systems. Because of my thought process finacially I will never be wealthy, But with paying dues over the years I have ennough to live comfortably and I'm happy with that.

Believe me if I had any doubt about my wife I would never had married her in the first place, I didn't have to and I did it for her future not mine. Yep could have been dead wrong time will tell, but I choose the risk for the benefit

So as they say around here up to you, I respect everyones personal decesion.

[drummer]

Do a search using the sin sot word and you will find the previous threads, and there are many, with the same posters saying don't pay, you are being taken, its a scam, blah blah blah and they don't even know your wife or her family.  Likewise, you don't know the posters

with this point of view's familiies or how well they get along with their Thai loved ones with this type of attitude.

The previous threads have some wonderful posts from falang who have paid sin sot and relate how wonderful the gift was and what great benefit it rendered them in the long run.  My neighbor across the street is paying  sin sot by buying a house for mom this year and he has been married two years.  I paid iby buying a house for mom t in the third year of the relationship.

Houses for the mom create a  permanent big increase in "face" in the village, somehting that keeps reaping benefits for the giver making "merit" for years thereafter.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I really like this post.

Sinsot is meant as "divorce insurance" for your wife - the money is theoretically supposed to go to her, not her parents. However, it is the long tradition that the girl gives the money to her parents for their outstanding contribution in their lives.

There is a HUGE difference between Thai culture and Western culture when it comes to money. Westerners say "Do you love me, or MY money?" Thai's say "Do you love me, or YOUR money?" The sinsot is a way to show your generosity and your devotion to your wife. This includes taking on all of her "debts", such as helping her family.

Thai's believe that you owe an unpayable debt of gratitude to people who make an oustanding contribution to your life ... parents, teachers, the dr. who saved your life after the car accident... so forth. Showing your generosity and doing your best to repay those debts is really important in Thai culture. (this takes the place of indeendence in Western culture) This is more important than getting married, or who you marry. If the parents "put their foot down", it is the husband who loses. Not helping out her parents is a major sin that you will NEVER live down in your wifes eyes, no matter what she leads you to believe. (Unless she is westernized!)

I would say that since you can afford it, buy them a really nice house and leave it at that.

[drummer]

"If you have already met one and not married, makeup a BS story you lost

everything etc etc (just for a few weeks) and sit back and see what happens.

Make sure the family hears this tragic news. Ask to borrow 500 baht from

a family member. Stop paying for stuff. Fake crying and really pour it on."

Were you a Bar Girl in your past life?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I would suspect that this would have a very different interpretation by Thais. I am no Thai expert but I would suggest that this is a sure way to lose all trust and respect from her entire family. Its a joke, I know, but worth mentioning ...

Edited August 15, 2005 by drummer

[JoJo]

QUOTE(sakaew @ 2005-08-12 11:02:43)

The amount demanded--499,999-- is odd to say the least.

Why not 500,000 baht.

It sounds as if she's needling you

Not at all ... its more odd that they didn't demand 999 999. Consecuative numbers, especially 9s, are considered especially lucky. It takes at least 3 digits be be lucky, and the more consecuative digits the luckier. If you see a license plate with all the same # it probably cost several million baht to buy.

Why not just 99,999 then??? Bloody excuse IMO!!!!!!!!

However, it is the long tradition that the girl gives the money to her parents for their outstanding contribution in their lives.

Outstanding contribution?? Outstanding if they make the daughter go to Bangkok to be a bargirl?? Come on....its appalling to know that parents have kids just to extort money from the future son-in-law. They need serious help or do not understand what being a parent means. I am a parent and will never expect my children to pay me back. That's absurd.

I would say that since you can afford it, buy them a really nice house and leave it at that.

I would not do that, you are just making things worse....for the Thais to think farangs are idiots and easy to manipulate.

Or perhaps they think marriage is a game........gotta have insurance just in case I lose the game? (divorce). If you buy a house in TH, it will be in the girl's name anyway, isn't that enough insurance?? More money please??!!!

If the girls loves you, truly just for you......she will marry you no matter what. What if a farang is not well to do and cannot afford the SINsot? will she move on to someone else who can? That's true love??

You would not hand money over to non-Thai women (may it be farang or other Asian ethnicity), so what's soooooo special about them that you would?

Stop making excuses for gold diggers!!

Edited August 15, 2005 by JoJo

[drummer]

"I just want to ensure I'm doing the right thing and sending the right message"

Loud and Clear.

What is it with these Farangs?

They act like this Sin Sod is another scam meant just for Farangs.

Even a Thai ditch digger will scrape up enough for a respectable showing on the big day.

At a Hi So wedding the stakes can be  a million(usually 999,999bht)

Isn't it the way it's done in Thailand?

If you don't have the cash or can't part with it if you do, don't get married.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

As far a my experience goes this so-called "sin sod" is garbage and a rip-off from start to finish. It just sets the mentality of the family for further money sucking, when they see some stupid "falang" hand over hundreds of thousand or even millions of BHT. Taking care of the wife and SOMETIMES the family is one thing. Setting up a permanent life-time annunity fund for all-takers is another. Why not just put the girl up on the auction block and sell her off to the highest bidder?? Whoever puts up the most money wins the prize - right? Otherwise, the family ain't happy.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This is why the phrase "farang kee nok" is so common. A Thai ditchdigger will willingly go far into debt to show his generosity and his love for his new wife. Thai's say "do you love me, or your money?" So the Thais make a show that their wife is mroe impotant than their money.

Farang have a completely different perspective. Farang say "do you love me, or my money?" and make a big show about not being interested in money at all.

So Farang tend to see Thais and gold-digging, and Thais see Farang as stingy and cold-hearted. Good times.

Edited August 15, 2005 by drummer

[JoJo]

drummer, all is takes is ONE experience for you to lose everthing you have in life..........

One bitten twice shy?

Don't get me wrong, I have never experienced it but I know at least 20 people who have.........

Not all Thais are bad but it's pretty hard to find the good ones. Insisting the future son-in-law HAS to pay a specific non-negotiable sum seems a bit far fetched and unrealisticly selfish to me. It should be up to the future son-in-law and the Thai girl, no other outside influence.

Edited August 15, 2005 by JoJo

[sakaew]

I'm indebted to Drummer..who in reply to a comment from me that 499,999 baht seemed like an odd amount...pointed out that the same figure repeated--in this case 99999--is super lucky.

There's a wealth of useful info on on this forum.

Especially from the Aussies !

[Lobsterman]

I would not do that, you are just making things worse....for the Thais to think farangs are idiots and easy to manipulate.

Or perhaps they think marriage is a game........gotta have insurance just in case I lose the game? (divorce). If you buy a house in TH, it will be in the girl's name anyway, isn't that enough insurance?? More money please??!!!

If the girls loves you, truly just for you......she will marry you no matter what. What if a farang is not well to do and cannot afford the SINsot? will she move on to someone else who can? That's true love??

You would not hand money over to non-Thai women (may it be farang or other Asian ethnicity), so what's soooooo special about them that you would?

Stop making excuses for gold diggers!!

From my understanding here, that sinsod is sexual harassment.

[Jai Dee]

Drummer... you are spot on mate.

[Nepal4me]

What is interesting in reading all the posts regarding sinsod. The well thought out and well explained posts all recommend paying Sinsod and talk about the benefits of it, both from personal experience and from historical/traditional perspectives.

The less well thought out posts, i.e. the one liners, are virtually all negative about sinsod. I have yet to see a well explained post on why sinsod is wrong. There are some posts with examples of sinsod abuse, where the family is trying to 'take' the farang for a ride. Those cases seem to be the exception and although sinsod shouldn't be paid (or perhaps a minimal amount paid) there is never an explanation of why sinsod is wrong.

Seems to me if you have a good girl from a good family, not paying sinsod is in fact the wrong thing to do. I'm very thankful to all the posters here and to the posters in previous sinsod threads, I feel I now have a much greater understanding of the situation.

[Jai Dee]

What is interesting in reading all the posts regarding sinsod.  The well thought out and well explained posts all recommend paying Sinsod and talk about the benefits of it, both from personal experience and from historical/traditional perspectives. 

The less well thought out posts, i.e. the one liners, are virtually all negative about sinsod.  I have yet to see a well explained post on why sinsod is wrong.  There are some posts with examples of sinsod abuse, where the family is trying to 'take' the farang for a ride.  Those cases seem to be the exception and although sinsod shouldn't be paid (or perhaps a minimal amount paid) there is never an explanation of why sinsod is wrong. 

Seems to me if you have a good girl from a good family, not paying sinsod is in fact the wrong thing to do.  I'm very thankful to all the posters here and to the posters in previous sinsod threads, I feel I now have a much greater understanding of the situation.

Have you read the book Thailand Fever?

It has been discussed here on the Forum before, and will explain (in Thai and English) more completely the concept of sinsod and other Thai customs/beliefs.

I'll do a search for the topic and come back with a link for you.

/Edit - here are some links for you:

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?sh...=thailand+fever

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?sh...=thailand+fever

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?sh...=thailand+fever

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?sh...=thailand+fever

Edited August 15, 2005 by Jai Dee

[drummer]

a specific non-negotiable sum

The idea is not to bargain your way down to the absolute cheapest price you can pay for your wife....

You are NOT buying your wife, you are showing your naam jai and your greeng jai - your generosity and your wilingness to help your wife and her commitments. Farang generally don't care about 'face' so much (or rather face means something different for farang)

The actual amount of respect your have, distasteful as it is to Westerners, is based partly on how much money you have. If you have money, it is because you were a god eprson in a previous life. even if you are an utter cad in this one, you are still deserving of respect because of your goodness in your previous life.

To give a big dowry is a lot of 'face' for everyone involved.

[ray23]

I would not do that, you are just making things worse....for the Thais to think farangs are idiots and easy to manipulate.

Or perhaps they think marriage is a game........gotta have insurance just in case I lose the game? (divorce). If you buy a house in TH, it will be in the girl's name anyway, isn't that enough insurance?? More money please??!!!

If the girls loves you, truly just for you......she will marry you no matter what. What if a farang is not well to do and cannot afford the SINsot? will she move on to someone else who can? That's true love??

You would not hand money over to non-Thai women (may it be farang or other Asian ethnicity), so what's soooooo special about them that you would?

Stop making excuses for gold diggers!!

From my understanding here, that sinsod is sexual harassment.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You know I'm not sure there is a clear cut answer to this question. A farrang here in Udon recently married into a wealthy and well connected Thai family The wifes father and her brothers put up 1 mil in cash for show. They then bought the newly weds a house in town away from the family. It all depends.

To lump all Thai' into one group is no more fair then lumping us into one group.

No excuses given, depends on what group of people you choose to associate with here as it dose anywhere else. It also depends on your experience we all make mistakes when we come here. I call it going to Water Buffalo Univsersity, I have paid tuition and I'm sure I will pay more, but I hope it is for new clases, not repeat ones.

From my personal experience it takes time to get away from the Newbie and tourist traps. Those who have been so eager to help without even knowing me are after money. Those that are a bit lay back are the ones that end up being good friends.

You know it really is up to you here, no one owns you and what you decide determines how your life is going to be. Peronally I stopped hanging out with Gold Diggers Farrangs and Thai within a year or soof first being here. Darned expensive year.

The other thing I noticed for me anyway, the ATM sign on my forehead must have went away. When you stop being a victim you will have a lot less women wanting to get next to you. But the qaulity definetly changes as well.

The experiences here are nothing,that I wasn't expecting. I choose not to be bitter and instead feel good that I was sharp enough to endure and learn from them.

No matter what Thai's believe or do not believe, you do not have to get married. If you do then I would think it would not be realistic to think that you are not going to have to adjust

[Khutan]

Seems to me if you have a good girl from a good family, not paying sinsod is in fact the wrong thing to do.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That is correct. It is custom and the correct thing to do.

The idea is not to bargain your way down to the absolute cheapest price you can pay for your wife.... 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I don't agree, I have had a reasonable amount of experience in this, and it is quite appropriate to negotiate a sin-sod. Normally the bride and groom's family get together sometimes for a day or so and go through the whole thing.

Mayne Nepal4me can answer some simple questions, but ones that would be covered at a meeting like this. If you don't want to, then you can PM me or ignore it.

Yes/No for all of these.

1. Is your wife university educated.

2. Is she educated beyond a Bachelors degree.

3. Does she work for the Government / a large company with prestige.

4. Was she ever promised to anyone before

5. Was she a virgin when she met you.

6. has she ever worked in a bar

7. Have you ever been in Jail

8. Has any of her close family been in jail

9. Does any members of her family have a job with some prestige (govt etc).

10. Has she ever lived away from her family.

11. Does her family now work?

There are many many things to consider, and no it isn't driving a low price for a discount, but the fact of being realistic.

BTW, can you tell us what Mum and Dad do and in what province. E.G they run a 7-11 in Srisaket etc.

This information can help.

[JoJo]

The idea is not to bargain your way down to the absolute cheapest price you can pay for your wife....

You are NOT buying your wife, you are showing your naam jai and your greeng jai - your generosity and your wilingness to help your wife and her commitments. Farang generally don't care about 'face' so much (or rather face means something different for farang)

Correct! SO, why pay for her? Why must it be a specific sum set by the parents??? Should it not be between the girl and the man, no outside influence.

For those who understand MARRIAGE, it is already a commitment to help her out. What other insurance does she need?? Marriage is a commitment as it is and it should be based on TRUST. If she does not trust you to help her out without asking for "security" (like a bank), why get married???

If you have money, it is because you were a god eprson in a previous life.

So all poor people are &lt;deleted&gt; in their previous life? Come on, what a biaised statement.

To give a big dowry is a lot of 'face' for everyone involved.

Face seems more important that the happiness of their own children.......it's so sad. Parents arguing and haggling over sinsot amount causes much tension and pressure between the Thai girl and the groom to be. Do they care? NO, so long as they have their "face". Great parenting!

Edited August 15, 2005 by JoJo

[dr_Pat_Pong]

What is interesting in reading all the posts regarding sinsod.  The well thought out and well explained posts all recommend paying Sinsod and talk about the benefits of it, both from personal experience and from historical/traditional perspectives. 

The less well thought out posts, i.e. the one liners, are virtually all negative about sinsod.  I have yet to see a well explained post on why sinsod is wrong.  There are some posts with examples of sinsod abuse, where the family is trying to 'take' the farang for a ride.  Those cases seem to be the exception and although sinsod shouldn't be paid (or perhaps a minimal amount paid) there is never an explanation of why sinsod is wrong. 

Seems to me if you have a good girl from a good family, not paying sinsod is in fact the wrong thing to do.  I'm very thankful to all the posters here and to the posters in previous sinsod threads, I feel I now have a much greater understanding of the situation.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

See what you can find about post marriage demands for Sin Sot by the family. ( sorry it is only one line, but I couldn't see how to expand on it any more and retain the sense of the point )

[Nepal4me]

See what you can find about post marriage demands for Sin Sot by the family. ( sorry it is only one line, but I couldn't see how to expand on it any more and retain the sense of the point    )

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Mai kao jai????

[britmaveric]

Do a search using the sin sot word and you will find the previous threads, and there are many, with the same posters saying don't pay, you are being taken, its a scam, blah blah blah and they don't even know your wife or her family.  Likewise, you don't know the posters

with this point of view's familiies or how well they get along with their Thai loved ones with this type of attitude.

The previous threads have some wonderful posts from falang who have paid sin sot and relate how wonderful the gift was and what great benefit it rendered them in the long run.  My neighbor across the street is paying  sin sot by buying a house for mom this year and he has been married two years.  I paid iby buying a house for mom t in the third year of the relationship.

Houses for the mom create a  permanent big increase in "face" in the village, somehting that keeps reaping benefits for the giver making "merit" for years thereafter.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I really like this post.

Sinsot is meant as "divorce insurance" for your wife - the money is theoretically supposed to go to her, not her parents. However, it is the long tradition that the girl gives the money to her parents for their outstanding contribution in their lives.

There is a HUGE difference between Thai culture and Western culture when it comes to money. Westerners say "Do you love me, or MY money?" Thai's say "Do you love me, or YOUR money?" The sinsot is a way to show your generosity and your devotion to your wife. This includes taking on all of her "debts", such as helping her family.

Thai's believe that you owe an unpayable debt of gratitude to people who make an oustanding contribution to your life ... parents, teachers, the dr. who saved your life after the car accident... so forth. Showing your generosity and doing your best to repay those debts is really important in Thai culture. (this takes the place of indeendence in Western culture) This is more important than getting married, or who you marry. If the parents "put their foot down", it is the husband who loses. Not helping out her parents is a major sin that you will NEVER live down in your wifes eyes, no matter what she leads you to believe. (Unless she is westernized!)

I would say that since you can afford it, buy them a really nice house and leave it at that.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I disagree - if parents put their foot down then the daughter loses out. (ultimately the family) As I said I have no problem helping out the family when necessary, but pure piss taking in my eyes to demand smth which is truely antiquated and not necessary for its intended purpose is literally extinct.

Ray - I'd highly agree "virgin" aspect is one of the expectations of a sinsod and well lets face it thats not happening these days. As well as previous marriages, children - the whole idea of sinsod well has taken a life of its own.

Edited August 15, 2005 by britmaveric

[ray23]

Do a search using the sin sot word and you will find the previous threads, and there are many, with the same posters saying don't pay, you are being taken, its a scam, blah blah blah and they don't even know your wife or her family.  Likewise, you don't know the posters

with this point of view's familiies or how well they get along with their Thai loved ones with this type of attitude.

The previous threads have some wonderful posts from falang who have paid sin sot and relate how wonderful the gift was and what great benefit it rendered them in the long run.  My neighbor across the street is paying  sin sot by buying a house for mom this year and he has been married two years.  I paid iby buying a house for mom t in the third year of the relationship.

Houses for the mom create a  permanent big increase in "face" in the village, somehting that keeps reaping benefits for the giver making "merit" for years thereafter.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I really like this post.

Sinsot is meant as "divorce insurance" for your wife - the money is theoretically supposed to go to her, not her parents. However, it is the long tradition that the girl gives the money to her parents for their outstanding contribution in their lives.

There is a HUGE difference between Thai culture and Western culture when it comes to money. Westerners say "Do you love me, or MY money?" Thai's say "Do you love me, or YOUR money?" The sinsot is a way to show your generosity and your devotion to your wife. This includes taking on all of her "debts", such as helping her family.

Thai's believe that you owe an unpayable debt of gratitude to people who make an oustanding contribution to your life ... parents, teachers, the dr. who saved your life after the car accident... so forth. Showing your generosity and doing your best to repay those debts is really important in Thai culture. (this takes the place of indeendence in Western culture) This is more important than getting married, or who you marry. If the parents "put their foot down", it is the husband who loses. Not helping out her parents is a major sin that you will NEVER live down in your wifes eyes, no matter what she leads you to believe. (Unless she is westernized!)

I would say that since you can afford it, buy them a really nice house and leave it at that.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I disagree - if parents put their foot down then the daughter loses out. (ultimately the family) As I said I have no problem helping out the family when necessary, but pure piss taking in my eyes to demand smth which is truely antiquated and not necessary for its intended purpose is literally extinct.

Ray - I'd highly agree "virgin" aspect is one of the expectations of a sinsod and well lets face it thats not happening these days. As well as previous marriages, children - the whole idea of sinsod well has taken a life of its own.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yep when it comes to sin sod none of us who inherit an instant family should be paying it even by Thai standards.

I was fortunate my wifes Mother and Father are deceased a few Uncles and Aunts showed up and I was asked I considered it until I found out how she was treated. They didn't care for her, the neighbors did. When she was working as a housekeeper, they took part of her money. When she lost her job if friends had not taken her in and let her work for room and board on thier farm. There is no telling what would have happened. The family has never gotten a dime from me and never will. Had they helped her I might well have kicked in a few baht. She landed the big ATM in the sky and all of sudden they were worried about her.

Every situation is different and has to be evaluated on the basis of what you are dealing with.

[Nam Kao]

>>>Were you a Bar Girl in your past life?

Just beating them with their own game

[camerata]

Seems to me if you have a good girl from a good family, not paying sinsod is in fact the wrong thing to do.

But the correct form for middle-class families (according to my Thai friends) is that the money goes on show at the wedding and is then returned to the groom, who will be needing it to look after the bride, buy a house, etc. This seems to be a lot different from the upcountry attitude that the money is some kind of payment to the parents.

[bkkmadness]

Seems to me if you have a good girl from a good family, not paying sinsod is in fact the wrong thing to do.

But the correct form for middle-class families (according to my Thai friends) is that the money goes on show at the wedding and is then returned to the groom, who will be needing it to look after the bride, buy a house, etc. This seems to be a lot different from the upcountry attitude that the money is some kind of payment to the parents.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think that the sinsod tradition has been utilised as a scam by many Thai families so it is less traditional and more another way of grabbing some extra cash.

I've heard extraordinary amounts of money for sinsod before, for girls that just wouldn't achieve that kind of sinsod from a Thai man, if any at all and unfortunately many farang fall into this trap because of their lack of knowledge for the situation and of course got the love blinkers on.

Thats why I think there are so many strong arguments about paying it or not, as many people have only seen the scam side of it whilst others have understood the tradition of it. Many farang get their money returned and are offered a reasonable amount in the first place, whilst others are given and outrageous figure and never see any of it back.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

See what you can find about post marriage demands for Sin Sot by the family. ( sorry it is only one line, but I couldn't see how to expand on it any more and retain the sense of the point    )

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Mai kao jai????

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That'd be right.