Winners And Losers

[yellow1red1]

If killing oneself is considered losing, saw a study where the suicide rates among expats were much higher than home countries.

now, if they counted all those falls from balconies, who knows if they were really suicides, eh?

then again, getting chucked off a balcony aint really an ending for a winner, er.

>>> have encountered some real L expats and met some expats who are winners.

=========================================================

what I got out of Thailand? I definitely won! but won''t get too detailed ,

she turned 6 the other day

she wants to know if God is a woman and if all planets are hot in the middle, like earth,

she speaks English, French, some Thai and a bit of Spanish

her smile beats any full moon

[Ulysses G.]

Response to lovelomsak

What I said is, single men who have never been married have the most mental health problems. Single men who have been married and are not now married next. And Married men last. You can look it up. Pretty easy to find.

With all due respect, my guess is that those studies are done in Western countries, not countries where you have women beating on your door night and day.

Plenty of whining by Westerners goes on in Thailand, but if someone is lonely or randy for more than a few hours, there must be something seriously wrong with them.

[canuckamuck]

If killing oneself is considered losing, saw a study where the suicide rates among expats were much higher than home countries.

now, if they counted all those falls from balconies, who knows if they were really suicides, eh?

then again, getting chucked off a balcony aint really an ending for a winner, er.

>>> have encountered some real L expats and met some expats who are winners.

=========================================================

what I got out of Thailand? I definitely won! but won''t get too detailed ,

she turned 6 the other day

she wants to know if God is a woman and if all planets are hot in the middle, like earth,

she speaks English, French, some Thai and a bit of Spanish

her smile beats any full moon

Sounds like your priorities are in the right places.

[mark45y]

Response to lovelomsak

What I said is, single men who have never been married have the most mental health problems. Single men who have been married and are not now married next. And Married men last. You can look it up. Pretty easy to find.

With all due respect, my guess is that those studies are done in Western countries, not countries where you have women beating on your door night and day.

Plenty of whining by Westerners goes on in Thailand, but if someone is lonely or randy for more than a few hours, there must be something seriously wrong with them.

Yes the studies were done in the West. If one did studies in Thailand the place would be overrun with old ex pats. And no one wants that. It makes the young guys sick and it would raise prices for us old guys.

Can you imagine a survey of sexual habits of single men over 70 in Thailand.

Consumer health says, “There is a deep level of discomfort in our youth-oriented culture with the idea that seniors are sexually active. Sex is identified with reproduction, youthful attractiveness, and power -- and most young and even middle-aged people do not want to confront the inevitability of growing old. “

"Use it or lose it," says geriatrics expert Walter M. Bortz, 70, author of three books on healthy aging as well as several studies on seniors' sexuality.

Do you think I could get away with a survey topic about sexual frequency of men over 60 in Thailand on Thai Visa? What forum should it be put in?

[Forethat]

If killing oneself is considered losing, saw a study where the suicide rates among expats were much higher than home countries.

now, if they counted all those falls from balconies, who knows if they were really suicides, eh?

then again, getting chucked off a balcony aint really an ending for a winner, er.

>>> have encountered some real L expats and met some expats who are winners.

=========================================================

what I got out of Thailand? I definitely won! but won''t get too detailed ,

she turned 6 the other day

she wants to know if God is a woman and if all planets are hot in the middle, like earth,

she speaks English, French, some Thai and a bit of Spanish

her smile beats any full moon

Sounds like your priorities are in the right places.

I second that.

[Loz]

Year 1 : I was like a kid in a sweet shop...

Year 2 : The sweets still look good but I'm only interested in the best sweets

Year3 : The sweets may look different, but once you've had a sweetshop full their all pretty similar

Year4 : Picked 1 sweet and I'm sticking with it, but I still look in the shop window now and again, smiling at the new people in the sweetshop...

Nice.

Year 1: like a kid in a sweet shop with the lights off. felt around but didn't put anything in my mouth.

year 2: Like a well raised kid in an open sweet shop. had a couple but didn't ruin my appetite.

Year 3: Realised that sweets rot your teeth and make you fat so left the sweets alone on all but the specialist of occasions

Year 4: rinse and repeat year 3.

[yermanee]

So apparently it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.

Hi Mark,

This brought back some nice memories. " Moonlight Gambler " by Frankie Lane isn't it ?

Anyway keep it going, you seem to be one of the few that have real grasp of the things (mostly small things) that make Thailand so fascinating.

Yermanee

[IanForbes]

Understand that if your narrow minded idea of what is right and what is wrong, then you have to accept all the radical groups such as those in the Islamic faith who believe in circumsizing young girls, and who treat their wives as sex slaves to be raped whenever a man needs to satisfy himself.

By that logic, paedophilia is deemed by you to be "one's personal choice and neither right nor wrong" ? To say "paedophilia is wrong", one has to accept all extremist positions including child abuse being 'cultural'?

Seems complex.

nb. I understand you don't mean that - but I use the counter-extremity to point out the ridiculous nature of arguing at the extremes of a position. Everyone has their own moral compass. Everyone has the right to criticise everyone else's. A sure-fire way to guarantee the perpetual existence of 'evil' in the world is to take away one's right to criticise a (perceived or otherwise) moral hypocrisy or lack of a moral compass in others. Another sure-fire way to guarantee the perpetual existence of 'evil' is to fail to guarantee one's right to individual liberty (by either depriving them of it unfairly, or by allowing them to deprive - or tolerate the deprivation - others of their right to individual liberty).

"We wouldn't want to offend, would we? There are 1 billion of them. Therefore their hateful views are valid." ahem.

I thought I remembered that single men had more mental problems than married me. I looked it up and that is true.

But I also found out there is more to the story. Married men have less mental problems. Divorced men a bit more. Guys who have never been married have a lot.

So apparently it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.

'love', by it's clinical definition, is a mental 'problem'. The instant you lose the ability to coldly analyse or think rationally, you have a mental 'problem'.

But whilst that is irrefutably true, I haven't met any psychopaths who are 'happy' either.

The best post in this thread is the first (response to your OP).

Very good post, scooter. I only posted what I did to point out there are a wide variety of ideas that can't have hard and fast answers. There are valid reasons for far left and far right extremists. Not everybody is wrong about everything. I find it hard to call someone a winner or loser when I don't know all the facts about that person. To me, a loser is someone who takes advantage of someone else for their own gratification and no benefit to the other person. If someone is not hurting anyone but themself then whose business is it of someone else? If two adults come to a mutual agreement on a business transaction then what harm is done? Sticking their nose into someone else's business makes that person a loser by my standards. A person who makes a lot of money at everyone else's expense is hardly a winner by my standards. Withholding help from the needy, when the needy clearly needs it, hardly makes that person a winner... no matter HOW much money they have themselves. I see all aspects of it from countries right down to individuals.

Most of us can probably define the basic rights and wrongs in society. After that it gets into the grey areas of religiion and cultures.

Who knows what caused some pensioner to come to Thailand and live out a life of what others call... debauchery. There are many reasons why people do what they do. If they are hurting nobody but themselves then why should anyone else care?

I know it offends the self righteous bigots who see older men with young, willing women who use their bodies to earn a living. But, if those women made that choice of their own free will then whose business is it of anyone else? Too many of the men who say "Tut. tut" and make other nasty comments are simply jealous that they don't have the freedom to do so themselves. I see them all the time checking out the porno sites on the internet. How come so many so called "happily married" men bought the girly magazines on the newstands? Hugh Hefner made a fortune selling Playboy magazine and it wasn't just to single men.

[katabeachbum]

One flaming post removed. Please keep it sivilized and within forum rules

[IanForbes]

I see lots of response to what makes a man a loser, but I haven't seen ANY response to what makes a man a winner... and WHY he is a winner. I'd like to see a few definitions of the winners and maybe we can discuss that civilly.

[neverdie]

Response to lovelomsak

What I said is, single men who have never been married have the most mental health problems. Single men who have been married and are not now married next. And Married men last. You can look it up. Pretty easy to find.

So what you are saying is....the only reason you married three times was to avoid mental health problems?

It didn't work did it?

I think he's got you there marky

[mark45y]

Response to lovelomsak

What I said is, single men who have never been married have the most mental health problems. Single men who have been married and are not now married next. And Married men last. You can look it up. Pretty easy to find.

So what you are saying is....the only reason you married three times was to avoid mental health problems?

It didn't work did it?

I think he's got you there marky

It is tiresome to repeat myself because you are too lazy to read a thread before making an insulting comment.

If you have any honor at all you will go back and read post # 76 and then delete the above post or apologize.

Although I don't really think you are capable of honor or honesty.

Making fun of people is OK if you base it on something factual. I explained why I got married. You didn't read it. Instead you thought it better to throw out a meaningless insult.

Do you get a kick out of mocking people? You rarely in my experience post anything but negative slurs.

Maybe it is what passes for humor in your crowd. Maybe you make uninformed comments in all of your communications. I don't know.

I said it in post # 76 and I'll say it again.

I got married because two women lied to me about being able to get pregnant. Straight out lies. They knew it was a lie. They lied to get money and to keep a relationship alive that they knew was dead. They used little kids, babies to gain money and control and power.

[GreenSnapper]

I see lots of response to what makes a man a loser, but I haven't seen ANY response to what makes a man a winner... and WHY he is a winner. I'd like to see a few definitions of the winners and maybe we can discuss that civilly.

Those who are happy with their lives and women are the winners.

Those who make denigrating comments on happy people certainly aren't winners.

[mark45y]

I see lots of response to what makes a man a loser, but I haven't seen ANY response to what makes a man a winner... and WHY he is a winner. I'd like to see a few definitions of the winners and maybe we can discuss that civilly.

Those who are happy with their lives and women are the winners.

Those who make denigrating comments on happy people certainly aren't winners.

My appendix burst here in Thailand a couple of years ago. Some days and in some places and situations happiness is the absence of pain.

I had one job here that as much as I could do to stay sane was look 30 minutes ahead. I couldn't plan my day or even think about leaving work. I would have gone crazy if I looked more than 30 minutes ahead in time.

I have had relationships like that too. I felt responsibility and loved my kids but the wife drove me nuts. When I left I had nothing. Once only a shirt, pair of pants, shoes and 50 dollars in my pocket but I was happy.

There is all kinds of happiness.

[IanForbes]

I see lots of response to what makes a man a loser, but I haven't seen ANY response to what makes a man a winner... and WHY he is a winner. I'd like to see a few definitions of the winners and maybe we can discuss that civilly.

Those who are happy with their lives and women are the winners.

Those who make denigrating comments on happy people certainly aren't winners.

Good reply, greensnapper. I agree with you. That is precisely why I wonder why some people make denigrating comments about people they don't even know. Maybe that obese guy chomping on burgers and swilling the beer down while being attended by a lady of the night is really a happy guy. I think smoking is a silly, expensive habit that is hard on one's health, but I know far too many people who take delight in smoking a good cigar. Who am I to say they are wrong?

[Forethat]

I see lots of response to what makes a man a loser, but I haven't seen ANY response to what makes a man a winner... and WHY he is a winner. I'd like to see a few definitions of the winners and maybe we can discuss that civilly.

Those who are happy with their lives and women are the winners.

Those who make denigrating comments on happy people certainly aren't winners.

Good reply, greensnapper. I agree with you. That is precisely why I wonder why some people make denigrating comments about people they don't even know. Maybe that obese guy chomping on burgers and swilling the beer down while being attended by a lady of the night is really a happy guy. I think smoking is a silly, expensive habit that is hard on one's health, but I know far too many people who take delight in smoking a good cigar. Who am I to say they are wrong?

Ian, I think we all agree that an internet forum is a place for exchanging opinions, and that's exactly what you get on TV. In this case, it's obvious that all replies are based on personal values, and they are rarely the same.

As you are pointing out, the guy hanging out in a bar every night chomping burgers and swilling beer attended by some lady might be both happy and consider himself a winner - but if someone asks for my personal opinion I will happily tell you that I think the guy is a loser, for the simple reason that my values differs from his.

I think my main reason for rating the guy as a loser is I value friends and family higher than hamburgers and beer. I’m not saying that the guy in the bar doesn’t have any friends or a family – for all I know he might have more friends and a more loving family than myself – but I can only state an opinion on what I see, and that isn’t a guy who can come home every day to be greeted by his daughter who comes running towards her dad with the most lovely smile on the planet. I don’t see a guy with a loving caring wife. Instead, I see loneliness, and I think the whole thing screams "wasted opportunity"; I believe life should be more than hanging out in the same old stinking bar each night sipping beer and shagging prostitutes. It is said that every living thing on earth dies alone, and I get the impression a majority of the people hanging out in bars every night not only die alone - they live alone as well.

But then again, this is only an opinion based on personal values, and I could be wrong. But I was asked for my opinion, and my opinion is what you got.

"Happiness Only Real When Shared". - Chris McCandless

[Ulysses G.]

– but I can only state an opinion on what I see, and that isn't a guy who can come home every day to be greeted by his daughter who comes running towards her dad with the most lovely smile on the planet. I don't see a guy with a loving caring wife.

There seem to be an awful lot of married men with children and good jobs who have neither of these things. A loving caring wife and children is more like winning the lottery than guaranteed nowadays. Happiness is where you find it.

[GuestHouse]

I got married because two women lied to me about being able to get pregnant. Straight out lies. They knew it was a lie. They lied to get money and to keep a relationship alive that they knew was dead. They used little kids, babies to gain money and control and power.

Poor old you.

I can see it now, an inexperienced, innocent and naive Marky hoodwinked by a scheming woman.. not once, but twice - lead like a lamb to the slaughter - not one dead relationship leading to marriage and kids but two.

But there's something that doesn't add up here.

Page after page of posts telling us of life long experience of the wiley ways of wicked women, from a young boy to an old man.

One wonders, where did this inexperienced, naive and inocent Marky come from.... not once but twice?

He's surely not the same Marky of all the other tales we are treated to.

[mark45y]

I got married because two women lied to me about being able to get pregnant. Straight out lies. They knew it was a lie. They lied to get money and to keep a relationship alive that they knew was dead. They used little kids, babies to gain money and control and power.

Poor old you.

I can see it now, an inexperienced, innocent and naive Marky hoodwinked by a scheming woman.. not once, but twice - lead like a lamb to the slaughter - not one dead relationship leading to marriage and kids but two.

But there's something that doesn't add up here.

Page after page of posts telling us of life long experience of the wiley ways of wicked women, from a young boy to an old man.

One wonders, where did this inexperienced, naive and inocent Marky come from.... not once but twice?

He's surely not the same Marky of all the other tales we are treated to.

That's why I like Guesthouse. He takes something I actually write and disagrees with it. Nothing derogatory about it. He is a good citric. Sure, he and I rarely agree but he takes the time and trouble to read a post and understand it before offering an opposing view.

The first lady was sneaky. We had unmarried sex all through college, no protection. At that age there was a lot of sex. If she could have gotten pregnant she would have. There was no doubt in my mind that she had been telling the truth.

What she didn't tell me about was the fertility medication.

I wasn't the only one. She got her next husband too. He was a wrestling coach.

The second one had a physical condition that she said prevented her from getting pregnant. She had been married for 10 years before I met her with no children. You are right I was naive. I should have talked to a doctor. I could have gone to the library and looked it up. No INTERNET back then. You are right I was naive . I didn't like condoms. She had another physical problem that prevented her from taking BC pills.

In both cases we had not discussed having children except in the negative. I had never said I wanted children. I had said on a number of occasions I did not want children.

So I guess you can say that when I was in my 20's I was naive. Or stupid. Or ignorant. I did a lot of things during my 20's and 30's that I consider naive and stupid today. When I got out of the Army I should have finished law school but I didn't because I was married with child. I tried working and going to law school. Too much work, I was falling asleep in class every day. But I should have figured out a way. Maybe I should have stayed in Thailand and blown off the American wife. I hate to get caught up in those, would have, could have should have, types of discussions it only makes me realize all the opportunities I threw away and makes me sad.

I am sad anyway today. I had a bad experience last night.

There are some advantages in having one woman you know rather than many woman you don't know.

[473geo]

– but I can only state an opinion on what I see, and that isn't a guy who can come home every day to be greeted by his daughter who comes running towards her dad with the most lovely smile on the planet. I don't see a guy with a loving caring wife.

There seem to be an awful lot of married men with children and good jobs who have neither of these things. A loving caring wife and children is more like winning the lottery than guaranteed nowadays. Happiness is where you find it.

It helps if you carry the enthusiasm to continue looking.......if at first.....

[Forethat]

– but I can only state an opinion on what I see, and that isn't a guy who can come home every day to be greeted by his daughter who comes running towards her dad with the most lovely smile on the planet. I don't see a guy with a loving caring wife.

There seem to be an awful lot of married men with children and good jobs who have neither of these things. A loving caring wife and children is more like winning the lottery than guaranteed nowadays. Happiness is where you find it.

Well, that's probably another area where people disagree. I for one don't believe happiness is something to be found, it is something that you experience as a result of your own actions; you create your own happiness. I also believe that the fundamental problem with most "losers" is that they focus extensively on achieving happiness for themselves, not seldom leaving a trail of unhappy people behind. If they did more to make other people happy they wouldn't be miserable, unhappy losers. Unhappy marriage is an unfortunate situation, but rarely a result of one parties actions. And how many times have you heard TV members say "naa, the marriage didn't work, it was partly my fault, I was an idiot really"..? I thought so.

And once again, please keep in mind that there are probably plenty of people who find themselves happy despite living the bar life wearing the same pair of shorts six days running, having nothing but drinking buddies and no contact with their past or their family – all bridges are burnt. It's just that I wish they had something more and better in life, something that offers new experiences and new moments. I've lived in the same Soi for many years and I see the same guys in the same bar EVERY day. He**, some of these guys even have their own chairs. When I come back from the office they sit there, when I take my family out for dinner they sit there, when we come back they sit there, if I work late and go out for a bowl of noodles they sit there. Seven days a week. But if you aske me if they are winners? Will you please shut it…

*start off-topic rant*

The saddest examples I've seen so far on real losers are a TV members who thought that my opinion was wrong, and decided to reprimand me via PM in which they called me a "wan*er"," <deleted>" and a few other things I don't want to repeat. It is obvious that they realized they matched my description of a loser perfectly – though I'm sure they had already figured this out themselves long ago. Undoubtedly, this was the reason they were being so defensive.

After reading posts from a couple of members lately, it appears that this type of verbal garbage is dominating amongst the ever growing group of people who in every situation demonstrates a complete inability of critical review, including their own life situation and/or actions. One would have hoped that invectives, personal insults like "you're a schmuck", "idiot", "<deleted>", "wank*er", "coward" and even a couple of threats of physical reprimands was something most of the members had outgrown. Unfortunately, it seems like a small percentage continues to display this adolescent behavior despite reaching a higher age (note that I didn't use the words "grown up").

If these people aren't the most striking example of first class losers I've seen, I don't know what is.

*end off-topic rant*

[BoonToong]

The saddest examples I've seen so far on real losers are a TV members who thought that my opinion was wrong, and decided to reprimand me via PM in which they called me a "wan*er"," <deleted>" and a few other things I don't want to repeat. It is obvious that they realized they matched my description of a loser perfectly – though I'm sure they had already figured this out themselves long ago. Undoubtedly, this was the reason they were being so defensive.

After reading posts from a couple of members lately, it appears that this type of verbal garbage is dominating amongst the ever growing group of people who in every situation demonstrates a complete inability of critical review, including their own life situation and/or actions. One would have hoped that invectives, personal insults like "you're a schmuck", "idiot", "<deleted>", "wank*er", "coward" and even a couple of threats of physical reprimands was something most of the members had outgrown. Unfortunately, it seems like a small percentage continues to display this adolescent behavior despite reaching a higher age (note that I didn't use the words "grown up").

If these people aren't the most striking example of first class losers I've seen, I don't know what is.

*end off-topic rant*

Edited December 2, 2010 by BoonToong

[JurgenG]

And once again, please keep in mind that there are probably plenty of people who find themselves happy despite living the bar life wearing the same pair of shorts six days running, having nothing but drinking buddies and no contact with their past or their family – all bridges are burnt. It's just that I wish they had something more and better in life, something that offers new experiences and new moments. I've lived in the same Soi for many years and I see the same guys in the same bar EVERY day. He**, some of these guys even have their own chairs. When I come back from the office they sit there, when I take my family out for dinner they sit there, when we come back they sit there, if I work late and go out for a bowl of noodles they sit there. Seven days a week. But if you aske me if they are winners? Will you please shut it…

*start off-topic rant*

The saddest examples I've seen so far on real losers are a TV members who thought that my opinion was wrong, and decided to reprimand me via PM in which they called me a "wan*er"," <deleted>" and a few other things I don't want to repeat. It is obvious that they realized they matched my description of a loser perfectly – though I'm sure they had already figured this out themselves long ago. Undoubtedly, this was the reason they were being so defensive.

After reading posts from a couple of members lately, it appears that this type of verbal garbage is dominating amongst the ever growing group of people who in every situation demonstrates a complete inability of critical review, including their own life situation and/or actions. One would have hoped that invectives, personal insults like "you're a schmuck", "idiot", "<deleted>", "wank*er", "coward" and even a couple of threats of physical reprimands was something most of the members had outgrown. Unfortunately, it seems like a small percentage continues to display this adolescent behavior despite reaching a higher age (note that I didn't use the words "grown up").

If these people aren't the most striking example of first class losers I've seen, I don't know what is.

*end off-topic rant*

You seem to be a magnet for abuse

But after reading your post before the "completely off-topic rant", why am I not surprised ?

[Ulysses G.]

I for one don't believe happiness is something to be found, it is something that you experience as a result of your own actions; you create your own happiness. I also believe that the fundamental problem with most "losers" is that they focus extensively on achieving happiness for themselves, not seldom leaving a trail of unhappy people behind. If they did more to make other people happy they wouldn't be miserable, unhappy losers. Unhappy marriage is an unfortunate situation, but rarely a result of one parties actions.

I'm afraid that there are lots of people who entered into marriage with the best of intentions and were totally screwed over by their partner. Sometimes it is both parties fault, but sometimes it is not.

[IanForbes]

Ian, I think we all agree that an internet forum is a place for exchanging opinions, and that's exactly what you get on TV. In this case, it's obvious that all replies are based on personal values, and they are rarely the same.

As you are pointing out, the guy hanging out in a bar every night chomping burgers and swilling beer attended by some lady might be both happy and consider himself a winner - but if someone asks for my personal opinion I will happily tell you that I think the guy is a loser, for the simple reason that my values differs from his.

I think my main reason for rating the guy as a loser is I value friends and family higher than hamburgers and beer. I'm not saying that the guy in the bar doesn't have any friends or a family – for all I know he might have more friends and a more loving family than myself – but I can only state an opinion on what I see, and that isn't a guy who can come home every day to be greeted by his daughter who comes running towards her dad with the most lovely smile on the planet. I don't see a guy with a loving caring wife. Instead, I see loneliness, and I think the whole thing screams "wasted opportunity"; I believe life should be more than hanging out in the same old stinking bar each night sipping beer and shagging prostitutes. It is said that every living thing on earth dies alone, and I get the impression a majority of the people hanging out in bars every night not only die alone - they live alone as well.

But then again, this is only an opinion based on personal values, and I could be wrong. But I was asked for my opinion, and my opinion is what you got.

"Happiness Only Real When Shared". - Chris McCandless

Fair reply, but I try to not use a generalization to prove a specific point. As Ulysses pointed out, I would hazard a guess that there are far more losers than winners when it comes to married people. I know many marriages where the couple stick together for whatever reason, but neither is happy. In some cases they are VERY unhappy, and yet still stay together.

I see MANY so called happily married people who I couldn't stand to be around for 5 minutes, From my stand point, they lead boring, uneventful lives, but that is their decision. I just like to point out that you can't paint everyone with the same brush when you only see them for a brief time. Maybe some old sod sitting in a Pattaya bar, and flirting with the hookers is just struggling to keep a poor marriage together back home, while he takes a much needed break. I know many men who live in a sexless marriages and only stays married for their children's sake, or for economical reasons. That is why I try not to call anyone a winner or a loser. I just don't know them well enough to make a judgement.

On any given day in Chiang Mai you might see me sitting in the same one or two bars and flirting wth the staff that I've known for 6 years. I could be lumped in with the same group of what you call losers, But, that would be anything but the case. I've got loved ones everywhere and I lead an exciting life doing many things around the globe..

My grandkids in Canada

And the young Thai girl I've supported for 7 years

I'm even close friends with my ex-wife and her new husband.

Maybe I'm not the norm, but I have several friends who are living a similar life.

Of course, I am guilty here of using a specific situation to try and prove a generalization.

[chops]

I loved being single. It was fun being here and having a new girl in my bed every other day.

I got a few std's and started to get worried though. HIV is rampant here you know.

I ended up meeting a nice shy virgin Thai girl. it's boring sometimes, but I don't have to worry so much about std's.

but that's not to say I don't enjoy an occasional girl on the side now and then..

Edited December 2, 2010 by chops

[sidjameson]

And what does your nice shy ex virgin gf think of that? Does she mind risking catching whatever you catch?

[Forethat]

I see MANY so called happily married people who I couldn't stand to be around for 5 minutes, From my stand point, they lead boring, uneventful lives, but that is their decision. I just like to point out that you can't paint everyone with the same brush when you only see them for a brief time. Maybe some old sod sitting in a Pattaya bar, and flirting with the hookers is just struggling to keep a poor marriage together back home, while he takes a much needed break. I know many men who live in a sexless marriages and only stays married for their children's sake, or for economical reasons. That is why I try not to call anyone a winner or a loser. I just don't know them well enough to make a judgement.

On any given day in Chiang Mai you might see me sitting in the same one or two bars and flirting wth the staff that I've known for 6 years. I could be lumped in with the same group of what you call losers, But, that would be anything but the case. I've got loved ones everywhere and I lead an exciting life doing many things around the globe..

Granted. And to be fair, so far I haven't seen ANYONE claim something else in this thread (yours truly included). The big difference (in my opinion), is that a married guy is at least trying, so in my world being miserable is not the same as being a loser. I am as equally confident as yourself there are masses of married people unhappy beyond belief.

It is obvious there are a couple of posters who incorrectly interpreted my initial post as "all retirees are losers". I have never claimed anything like that, so for those I urge to read my posts again. What I HAVE claimed (while at the same time pointing out that the claim is made based on personal opinion and perception) is that people who match my description of a loser (a social misfit who does nothing but hang out in bars and hump hookers) usually are found in one of two groups consisting of single men - uneducated sexpats with nothing but tourist status - and retirees. I get the impression a number of them couldn't return home even if they wanted to.

I have a friend who has lived in Bangkok for 50 years. I can't tell you too much about him because I don't want to risk revealing his identity, but this guy has spent every dime he has ever owned on girls and booze, yet he has turned out to be one of my biggest sources of inspiration in life. This guy is intelligent beyond belief, funny, well educated, well-travelled, has an incredible background and ended up in Thailand through a series of crazy events worthy of a novel. He claims that he's become too old to spend any significant sums of money on girls, his libido is not what it used to be, so this limits his consumption to one round per day (he has a partner), but he's told me that when he was young (in his 70's) he could have two or three girls at the same time a couple of times a day. He spends his days reading and doing science research (cant tell you which area) and evenings with friends in bars all over SEA. I don't share his ideals, but if you'd look up the word "happy" in a dictionary, chances are there a picture of him right there. I can only wish I achieve the same level of happiness when I get that old.

There are people who enjoy drinking beer all day and screw ten hookers per day, they probably feel good about the whole thing and are happy with it - they are entitled to do it and I wish them good luck. But that doesn't mean I'm not entitled to feel they are losers, especially since the context was the expats who committed suicide. Some of them might even think that the path I opted for is the losing way, that marriage and family together with a well-structured social life is what defines the losing side.

We can discuss this for as long as you (or anyone else) desire, but the sad truth is that the one who can't accept other people's opinions (no, that doesn't apply to you, Ian) maybe has a more serious mental problem than what is reflected in someone's social situation.

The big difference here is that in my world they are entitled to their opinions, while according to a small group of TV members I am not, out which a few even claim that I actually didn't at all mean what I literarily wrote – they claim that I meant something else and now they're coming to get me for it. To be honest, I am not overly confident I'll ever be able to explain to those unfortunate individuals how sick they really are. A better opportunity to set the new standard on the definition on a true loser I may never get, but I'll pass – if no only to prevent reading about these poor souls after they've jumped from a high-rise building somewhere…

[mark45y]

And what does your nice shy ex virgin gf think of that? Does she mind risking catching whatever you catch?

That is one of the problems having been with a number of experienced women be they pros or not. There are some people who don't want to learn. For whatever reason they think sex stops at the extent of their knowledge about sex.

I have had a lot of experience and a lot of partners but it wasn't till I was 50 years old that I spent an evening with two drunk lesbians who taught me about one particular aspect of digital manipulation. My hand went numb and I got a cramp in my arm but I stuck to it until they said I was adequate at that particular task.

I don't usually get along that well with lesbians but they were very nice women.

There in lies the problem. Once you get used to a lifestyle of sexual steak it is difficult to go back to beans and rice.

Since my GF left I have been talking to other women with a relationship in mind. When I get to the point (I am always honest) that I enjoy multiple partner liaisons occasionally, they all seem to react negatively. The ladies are Thai. I realize I am older and they will have some flings. I am offering them the chance to do so in a safe secure environment. But no. They give me this chaste act like I will be the only man in their lives.

So far except for the saints on Thai Visa I have not met many saints in real life. I ran hotels for a long time and I know what a “down and out” room is and have enough sense to check for local license plates to find the potential early check outs and re rent the room.

Everybody should be faithful and no one should cheat.

With the exception of the posters on Thai Visa that is just not going to happen. And there are hardly enough women posting on Thai Visa to go around.

[neverdie]

It is tiresome to repeat myself because you are too lazy to read a thread before making an insulting comment.

If you have any honor at all you will go back and read post # 76 and then delete the above post or apologize.

Although I don't really think you are capable of honor or honesty.

Making fun of people is OK if you base it on something factual. I explained why I got married. You didn't read it. Instead you thought it better to throw out a meaningless insult.

Do you get a kick out of mocking people? You rarely in my experience post anything but negative slurs.

Maybe it is what passes for humor in your crowd. Maybe you make uninformed comments in all of your communications. I don't know.

I said it in post # 76 and I'll say it again.

I got married because two women lied to me about being able to get pregnant. Straight out lies. They knew it was a lie. They lied to get money and to keep a relationship alive that they knew was dead. They used little kids, babies to gain money and control and power.

<deleted>?

All that waffle marky

Let me apologise for forgetting that your sense of humour only relates to the below your belt hip action that you allegedly get going every so often