Winners And Losers

[IanForbes]

The honest truth is that most Farangs are losers in regards to relationships. They are searching for something that is beyond their grasp. Love and friendship are not easily found in this world. Purchasing a partner and then treating her like an asset in most cases is going to end poorly.

That is true, just as it is true that over 50% of so called "happy" marriages between compatible couples of similar ages end in divorce. And, of the many remaining marriages, neither of the spouses are actually happy after 5 years.

But, does that make any of these people losers? No, it just means they are not compatible with who they chose as a spouse. And, it ALWAYS takes two to tango. You can't have a happy marriage if only one person is working at it. We are still trying to use generalizations to prove a specific point. Stereotypes are only good for averages, and averages are only good for statistics. They can't prove a specific point on anything.

[TheyCallmeScooter]

what I got out of Thailand? I definitely won! but won''t get too detailed ,

she turned 6 the other day

she wants to know if God is a woman and if all planets are hot in the middle, like earth,

she speaks English, French, some Thai and a bit of Spanish

her smile beats any full moon

Winner. Based on information proffered. I hope you remain a winner, when her precocious hits that tricky 12-16 age. Few are able to, from what I've gathered - retaining one's sanity throughout the danger years seems to be the hallmark of 'success', and the consensus it would seem (at least, this is what I've been led to believe by friends who have - or had - teenage daughters).

To me, a loser is someone who takes advantage of someone else for their own gratification and no benefit to the other person. If someone is not hurting anyone but themself then whose business is it of someone else? If two adults come to a mutual agreement on a business transaction then what harm is done? Sticking their nose into someone else's business makes that person a loser by my standards.

I completely agree. But I will also staunchly defend the right of any loser who wished to call another person "a loser" (including calling me "a loser", for that matter - the fact they would be quite correct, by my own barometer, is irrelevant). But if they wish to do more than state a verbal opinion, if they wish to impose their opinions onto me and restrict my actions (which are, at times, self-harming [cigarette-smoking, drinking, etc] but never harmful to others); it is my very strong opinion that those people should be quashed like bugs, as a matter of sheer principle.

One has to right to do whatever one wants, when one wants, how one wants, where one wants, as often as one wants, say what one wants...but only if their actions are not preventing others from doing the same. Expressing one's individual opinions cannot restrict another individual's personal liberty. Escalate beyond mere expressed opinions and the imposition becomes Unacceptable.

For what it's worth, whilst I cannot categorically state whether you are a winner or a loser, I can categorically state my opinion (based on your proffered thoughts and pictures) which is: You sure seem like a winner, almost certainly not a loser. Caveat: I am only confident in my ability to detect losers, accurately detecting winners is a FAR more complex proposition. I suspect 99% of people are neither winners nor losers. I am in the 1%, unfortunately. I, and society-at-large, incorrectly believed I was in the other half of the 1% for most of my life. Not only was I wrong, I was (quite unintentionally) fooling myself (and inevitably, others) into believing I was a 'winner' when I was not (and if I'd been more introspectively honest, I would have been forced to admit the truth). And that means I was in the wrong half of that 1% the entire time.

When I reconcile what exactly it is that makes a person "a winner", I surely shall attempt to become one. I strongly suspect it involves raising spectacular kids, however. As I am too selfish for that, but not so selfish I would gamble on another person's life in an attempt to improve my own, I'm ready to accept I may never be in the right half of that 1%. Realistically, I'm aiming to graduate into the 99%. Fingers crossed....

The second one had a physical condition that she said prevented her from getting pregnant. She had another physical problem that prevented her from taking BC pills.

Come on, mate. Surely even you can see that you didn't need to talk to a doctor or go to a library to be alerted to the obvious red flag here. Surely you can admit this is a bit more than naivety which tripped you up here? The latter is an utterly redundant consideration when the former is considered. The fact both were claimed to exist should set off alarm bells in far duller men than you or I.

[TheyCallmeScooter]

I don't believe happiness is something to be found, it is something that you experience as a result of your own actions; you create your own happiness.

Spoken like a very lucky man. Whilst there is obviously inherent Truth in your statement, those who have not experienced trauma/s which resulted from factors over which they had zero control...can rarely be expected to understand the prevalence of such trauma. Or the level at which it restricts one's ability to 'create' their own happiness. An example (thankfully not applicable to me) would be losing a child in a tragic accident. Anyone who was able to create their own happiness after such horror, has a mental strength either unfathomably admirable or (if I'm being suspiciously cynical) perhaps unfathomably despicable.

I loved being single. It was fun being here and having a new girl in my bed every other day.

I got a few std's and started to get worried though. HIV is rampant here you know.

I ended up meeting a nice shy virgin Thai girl. it's boring sometimes, but I don't have to worry so much about std's.

but that's not to say I don't enjoy an occasional girl on the side now and then..

I claimed I was adept at picking losers. Here is one. Only the poor shy Thai girl has to worry about HIV now, and of course he will be withholding the information she needs to adequately protect herself. I feel supremely confident in my assessment here: LOSER.

they claim that I meant something else and now they're coming to get me for it. To be honest, I am not overly confident I'll ever be able to explain to those unfortunate individuals how sick they really are. A better opportunity to set the new standard on the definition on a true loser I may never get, but I'll pass – if no only to prevent reading about these poor souls after they've jumped from a high-rise building somewhere…

You are correct to pass, but your stated reasoning for passing on the 'opportunity' to interact IRL with those who would quite surely define a true "loser"...is ludicrous. Irrationally so. I would not need to be talking from experience to be correct, but I am. Talking from experience. Of course, I accept you likely have very valid reasons to feign bravado where alarm is obviously far more rational, so I'll leave it at that.

[siamamerican]

The honest truth is that most Farangs are losers in regards to relationships. They are searching for something that is beyond their grasp. Love and friendship are not easily found in this world. Purchasing a partner and then treating her like an asset in most cases is going to end poorly.

That is true, just as it is true that over 50% of so called "happy" marriages between compatible couples of similar ages end in divorce. And, of the many remaining marriages, neither of the spouses are actually happy after 5 years.

But, does that make any of these people losers? No, it just means they are not compatible with who they chose as a spouse. And, it ALWAYS takes two to tango. You can't have a happy marriage if only one person is working at it. We are still trying to use generalizations to prove a specific point. Stereotypes are only good for averages, and averages are only good for statistics. They can't prove a specific point on anything.

Point taken but without generalizations it would be near impossible to function in this world. My comment was not specific and for that matter most the posts on this topic aren't either. Generally speaking most that get married and then separate aren't losers for that reason alone.

I have no problem with the sex for money scene here but I do take offense to those that routinely disrespect their partners. Those specific individuals are losers and Thailand in a general sense is crawling with this type of loser.

[IanForbes]

I have no problem with the sex for money scene here but I do take offense to those that routinely disrespect their partners. Those specific individuals are losers and Thailand in a general sense is crawling with this type of loser.

And that pretty much summarizes the whole topic. People who use others for their own gratification, without giving anything back, are mostly losers. Even if a woman is a prostitute does not mean she should be treated with disrespect. People who help others without asking anything in return are mostly winners.