Keeping It Together

[thaibebop]

I am not going into detail here (it would bore people) but things are diffcult for me and my family right now. Getting a little depressed and desparte.

It seems that alot of those who post in the Buddhism forum are very centered people who have practiced much in the ways of self control. So, I ask those enlightened few, what to do you to keep it together?

[chownah]

I am not going into detail here (it would bore people) but things are diffcult for me and my family right now. Getting a little depressed and desparte.

It seems that alot of those who post in the Buddhism forum are very centered people who have practiced much in the ways of self control. So, I ask those enlightened few, what to do you to keep it together?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Don't know if I'm so centered...maybe self centered...but here's what I think is helpful.

First I don't drink or smoke or do drugs...ok I do drink a couple of drinks about once or twice a year...at most....I used to do all this daily. I eat healthy food....nothing exotically healthy but I try to be sure I eat a good amount of vegetables and fruits and not too much fat...I used to eat junk food. I get enough exercise and I sleep enough. All of these are necessary for me to have a healthy body and a not so troubled mind.....although I do have problems in life just like anyone else.

Second, I try to understand myself and what motivates me and why....this is an ongoing process, not task that you can accomplish and then forget. Understanding myself better doesn't mean that I can control my emotions but it seems to help me get over my bad moods quicker and perhaps not go so deeply into them. A major breakthrough in my life occurred when I studied Tai Chi and practiced it and sitting meditation twice a day for a couple of years. Another major breakthrough came when I realized that I was an insomniac and that when I woke up in the middle of the night my mind was often in a state of depression...the kind of depression where everything seems wrong and bad. Now when I wake up and am really depressed I usually tell my self not to worry and just sleep till morning and things will probably seem better.....and it always is better in the morning. I'm telling you all of this personal stuff not because I think that it applies to you but rather to show you how working on understanding yourself can eventually lead to understanding that could help change your life for the better.

The first breakthrough I mentioned helped me see that I was not being patient with my own development and that I needed to work on things long term. It helped me to realize that I needed to develop some skills so that I was more financially secure and had work that was more satisfying for my psyche. The second breakthrough helped me to see that I was making bad decisions based on the distorted view of events because of my late night depression.

I think the key for me was learning that whatever I did was going to take a long time and that I needed to realize that there would be many times when I would be very discouraged and wanted to quit and that those were the times that it is the most critical that I keep on task and trying to move forward. Sounds like the self analysis topic.

[thaibebop]

I am not going into detail here (it would bore people) but things are diffcult for me and my family right now. Getting a little depressed and desparte.

It seems that alot of those who post in the Buddhism forum are very centered people who have practiced much in the ways of self control. So, I ask those enlightened few, what to do you to keep it together?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Don't know if I'm so centered...maybe self centered...but here's what I think is helpful.

First I don't drink or smoke or do drugs...ok I do drink a couple of drinks about once or twice a year...at most....I used to do all this daily. I eat healthy food....nothing exotically healthy but I try to be sure I eat a good amount of vegetables and fruits and not too much fat...I used to eat junk food. I get enough exercise and I sleep enough. All of these are necessary for me to have a healthy body and a not so troubled mind.....although I do have problems in life just like anyone else.

This I try to do. Well, I used to drink and smoke all the time, that was my answer to everything. That has stopped and now I try to eat right and work out.

Second, I try to understand myself and what motivates me and why....this is an ongoing process, not task that you can accomplish and then forget. Understanding myself better doesn't mean that I can control my emotions but it seems to help me get over my bad moods quicker and perhaps not go so deeply into them. A major breakthrough in my life occurred when I studied Tai Chi and practiced it and sitting meditation twice a day for a couple of years. Another major breakthrough came when I realized that I was an insomniac and that when I woke up in the middle of the night my mind was often in a state of depression...the kind of depression where everything seems wrong and bad. Now when I wake up and am really depressed I usually tell my self not to worry and just sleep till morning and things will probably seem better.....and it always is better in the morning. I'm telling you all of this personal stuff not because I think that it applies to you but rather to show you how working on understanding yourself can eventually lead to understanding that could help change your life for the better.

I think this is what I am faced with. Understanding what I am going to do and ho wto handle it.

The first breakthrough I mentioned helped me see that I was not being patient with my own development and that I needed to work on things long term. It helped me to realize that I needed to develop some skills so that I was more financially secure and had work that was more satisfying for my psyche. The second breakthrough helped me to see that I was making bad decisions based on the distorted view of events because of my late night depression.

I think the key for me was learning that whatever I did was going to take a long time and that I needed to realize that there would be many times when I would be very discouraged and wanted to quit and that those were the times that it is the most critical that I keep on task and trying to move forward. Sounds like the self analysis topic.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks, I need some anothers outlook. I am a student with a family. And even though I live in the same city as all my blood relations, there is no support system. It's just my wife, daughter and I. So, trying to make sure all goes well is sometimes overwhelming.

[camerata]

What works for me is to keep life simple. No wife, no kids, no house, no car, no debts. Even though you already have a wife and child, it's a good idea to try and keep the debts and obligations down.

It's a good idea to have some objective in life that isn't connected to making a living. I know several people who suffer from clinical depression and what they all have in common is no goals in life, just drifting from day to day. These goals shouldn't be impossible dreams, they shouldn't have a specific deadline, and they should be things that will give you some genuine satisfaction.

When I was in my home country, my goal was to get out of it. Later my goal was to live in Thailand. Then my goal was to get the one-year visa, and so on. In parallel to these long-term goals I have others related to my hobbies and interests, one of the more recent ones being a web site I created and maintain. You don't want to obsess about these goals, just use them to give life some extra purpose.

As for the day-to-day hassles, which usually involve people at work, I find practising Right Speech is the way to go. If you practise Right Speech to its fullest extent, you'll find that people are generally nicer to you and you have a lot less conlict. After a while, you begin to find that the mental discipline of refraining from criticism/sarcasm/argument etc has a beneficial effect on all your negative thoughts and actions.

It's strange that Right Speech isn't discussed more than it is. It's the easiest aspect of the Eightfold Path to understand, a difficult one (for the layman) to follow correctly, but it provides the quickest and most visible benefits.

Some of my Thai friends listen to Dhamma talks on mp3 audio files when they are stressed out. There are plenty of these available now in English, if you're interested. It might be worth a try.

Anyway, good luck!

[thaibebop]

What works for me is to keep life simple. No wife, no kids, no house, no car, no debts. Even though you already have a wife and child, it's a good idea to try and keep the debts and obligations down.

It's a good idea to have some objective in life that isn't connected to making a living. I know several people who suffer from clinical depression and what they all have in common is no goals in life, just drifting from day to day. These goals shouldn't be impossible dreams, they shouldn't have a specific deadline, and they should be things that will give you some genuine satisfaction.

When I was in my home country, my goal was to get out of it. Later my goal was to live in Thailand. Then my goal was to get the one-year visa, and so on. In parallel to these long-term goals I have others related to my hobbies and interests, one of the more recent ones being a web site I created and maintain. You don't want to obsess about these goals, just use them to give life some extra purpose.

As for the day-to-day hassles, which usually involve people at work, I find practising Right Speech is the way to go. If you practise Right Speech to its fullest extent, you'll find that people are generally nicer to you and you have a lot less conlict. After a while, you begin to find that the mental discipline of refraining from criticism/sarcasm/argument etc has a beneficial effect on all your negative thoughts and actions.

It's strange that Right Speech isn't discussed more than it is. It's the easiest aspect of the Eightfold Path to understand, a difficult one (for the layman) to follow correctly, but it provides the quickest and most visible benefits.

Some of my Thai friends listen to Dhamma talks on mp3 audio files when they are stressed out. There are plenty of these available now in English, if you're interested. It might be worth a try.

Anyway, good luck!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Goals, now that is a good idea. That might be what is depressing me. I was a student of Chiropractic Medicine in a school that used only accelerated classes. I wasn't doing very well and that was quite upseting. I took a long hard look at why I was putting myself through that program. I wanted money to support of family, Chiropractic was not what I really wanted to do. So, now I am double majoring English/History BA then masters and will be a professor. Less money, but I know what I am doing and will like it. I hope it will make me feel better when I do well with my next classes.

Thanks very much for your time.

[sabaijai]

I think chownah and camerata have provided some really good advice here. I've nothing to add except that if self-investigation or self-regulation don't do it, you shouldn't rule out counselling altogether. You've not mentioned where you live. Some countries have Buddhist counselling available.

[thaibebop]

I think chownah and camerata have provided some really good advice here. I've nothing to add except that if self-investigation or self-regulation don't do it, you shouldn't rule out counselling altogether. You've not mentioned where you live. Some countries have Buddhist counselling available.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think my depression is based on my failure at my previous school, and the pressure that my wife and daughter are depending on me to finish school and work. Which I really want to do.

Counselling might help in short term, but I am in America, and counselling here is drug related. Also, I am in Kansas City,MO, right in the middle of the country. There are no Buddhists here, only angry chirstians. That's why I came here to ask you guys. My wife trys to help but she has such a let roll outlook on life very little upsets her. I try to be more like her, if it happens it happens, that's what she tells me about everything. I guess that's what happens when you are rised Buddhist?

[Bakuteh]

What works for me is to keep life simple. No wife, no kids, no house, no car, no debts. Even though you already have a wife and child, it's a good idea to try and keep the debts and obligations down.

It's a good idea to have some objective in life that isn't connected to making a living. I know several people who suffer from clinical depression and what they all have in common is no goals in life, just drifting from day to day. These goals shouldn't be impossible dreams, they shouldn't have a specific deadline, and they should be things that will give you some genuine satisfaction.

When I was in my home country, my goal was to get out of it. Later my goal was to live in Thailand. Then my goal was to get the one-year visa, and so on. In parallel to these long-term goals I have others related to my hobbies and interests, one of the more recent ones being a web site I created and maintain. You don't want to obsess about these goals, just use them to give life some extra purpose.

As for the day-to-day hassles, which usually involve people at work, I find practising Right Speech is the way to go. If you practise Right Speech to its fullest extent, you'll find that people are generally nicer to you and you have a lot less conlict. After a while, you begin to find that the mental discipline of refraining from criticism/sarcasm/argument etc has a beneficial effect on all your negative thoughts and actions.

It's strange that Right Speech isn't discussed more than it is. It's the easiest aspect of the Eightfold Path to understand, a difficult one (for the layman) to follow correctly, but it provides the quickest and most visible benefits.

Some of my Thai friends listen to Dhamma talks on mp3 audio files when they are stressed out. There are plenty of these available now in English, if you're interested. It might be worth a try.

Anyway, good luck!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I am a newbie in this forum (and thread) and have a deep interest in how Buddhism can help me solve personal problems. Often times, I try to read something from a Buddhist book or mag or even surf the net to some Buddhist website like BuddhaNet which I find useful as a resource centre. There are mp3 dhamma audio files in English there but few are related to the Thai forest variety. Any chance that you might know where to access them?

Right Speech has many facets to it and I have found some writings by Sangharakshita of the FWBO helpful to clarify things, indeed his thoughts on other aspects of the Eight Noble Path are just as helpful. Think they can be found somewhere in the fwbo.org website.

It is also advisable to read any religious writing with a pinch of salt and it is ultimately how it relates to your personal experience and whether it is helpful in solving your problems that is important.

Thanks for the thoughts of all contributors to this thread. May all be happy and free of worry!

[sabaijai]

These may be of help.

Lesterville: Dhamma Sukha Meditation Center - http://www.dhammasukha.org/

A teaching and retreat Center founded by U Vimalaramsi. Includes audio talks, Dhamma articles, transcripts, and schedules.

Show Me Dharma - http://dharma.missouri.org/

Offers Insight Meditation to the Mid-Missouri area.

St Louis Insight Meditation Group - http://www.insightstlouis.org/

A lay group offering beginning and ongoing instruction, retreats, a small donated library, mentorship program and community to support mindfulness. Hosts guest led retreats and speakers.

Missouri Insight Meditation Retreats - http://www.geocities.com/Athens/3712/retreats.html

Insight Meditation retreats offered by Mid America Dharma in St. Louis and Kansas City.

[thaibebop]

These may be of help.

Lesterville: Dhamma Sukha Meditation Center - http://www.dhammasukha.org/

A teaching and retreat Center founded by U Vimalaramsi. Includes audio talks, Dhamma articles, transcripts, and schedules.

Show Me Dharma - http://dharma.missouri.org/

Offers Insight Meditation to the Mid-Missouri area.

St Louis Insight Meditation Group - http://www.insightstlouis.org/

A lay group offering beginning and ongoing instruction, retreats, a small donated library, mentorship program and community to support mindfulness. Hosts guest led retreats and speakers.

Missouri Insight Meditation Retreats - http://www.geocities.com/Athens/3712/retreats.html

Insight Meditation retreats offered by Mid America Dharma in St. Louis and Kansas City.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Cool! I didn't know I had such things so close to me. Thanks alot!

Bakuteh welcome to TV!

[Bakuteh]

These may be of help.

Lesterville: Dhamma Sukha Meditation Center - http://www.dhammasukha.org/

A teaching and retreat Center founded by U Vimalaramsi. Includes audio talks, Dhamma articles, transcripts, and schedules.

Show Me Dharma - http://dharma.missouri.org/

Offers Insight Meditation to the Mid-Missouri area.

St Louis Insight Meditation Group - http://www.insightstlouis.org/

A lay group offering beginning and ongoing instruction, retreats, a small donated library, mentorship program and community to support mindfulness. Hosts guest led retreats and speakers.

Missouri Insight Meditation Retreats - http://www.geocities.com/Athens/3712/retreats.html

Insight Meditation retreats offered by Mid America Dharma in St. Louis and Kansas City.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Cool! I didn't know I had such things so close to me. Thanks alot!

Bakuteh welcome to TV!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks for the warm welcome thaibebop!

Hope you keep searching for a solution. It may be within you, but you need to find it with or without external help.

To Sabaijai, thanks so much for the lnks to audio talks.

To all of you, be always careful of cults, was surprised to find out some disturbing info about the FWBO (www.ex-cult.org/fwbo). Sometimes it is so difficult to tell the untruth from the true facts especially if you access info in the internet. As the Buddha advised, we have to investigate and apply the test used the Kalayama Metta sutra.

[camerata]

Often times, I try to read something from a Buddhist book or mag or even surf the net to some Buddhist website like BuddhaNet which I find useful as a resource centre. There are mp3 dhamma audio files in English there but few are related to the Thai forest variety. Any chance that you might know where to access them?

Probably the most active Western monks of the Forest Tradition now are Thanissaro Bikkhu at the Metta Forest Monastery:

http://www.mettaforest.org/Audio%20Dhamma.htm

and

Ajahm Brahm at the Buddhist Society of Western Australia:

http://www.bswa.org/modules/mydownloads/viewcat.php?cid=4

There are lots of good written Dhamma talks by Ajahn Chah, Ajahn Jagaro, Ajahn Summedho and others. For more audio talks try

http://www.dhammatalks.org.uk/index2.htm

and Ajahn Boowa's site at http://www.luangta.com/English/site/audio.php

[bina]

When I was in my home country, my goal was to get out of it. Later my goal was to live in Thailand. Then my goal was to get the one-year visa, and so on. In parallel to these long-term goals I have others related to my hobbies and interests, one of the more recent ones being a web site I created and maintain. You don't want to obsess about these goals, just use them to give life some extra purpose.

thaibe, then u must be a person that gets stressed w/o goals.... my best friend is that way and has gone thru much counselling when between jobs or studies; when she starts a new job or heavy course load, she also becomes nervous and irritible due to over load...she needed to learn that not everything can be predictable or controlled too far in the future , and life is itself a purpose, and not everything needs a purpose, because if u dont meet your goals then u see it as wasted time, and time living is never wasted... it remings me of some zen group (they wrote cook books etc , in the states in the 70's) that stressed the point that all work is the same, if u have right mind while u work, then u are basically meditating (no music no talking etc, just concentrating on the soap in the toilet bowl, or the hoe in the ground) so no goal is needed......

sabaijai, maybe u remember the group etc...... anyway , i've lived my teenage and adult life this way and have worked in some of the most potentially boring jobs without feeling the frustration that many feel

the problem with goals is that once u arrive there, u have the feeling of what next?.....

ah!!! remembered: tassajara zen something or other

[chownah]

When I was in my home country, my goal was to get out of it. Later my goal was to live in Thailand. Then my goal was to get the one-year visa, and so on. In parallel to these long-term goals I have others related to my hobbies and interests, one of the more recent ones being a web site I created and maintain. You don't want to obsess about these goals, just use them to give life some extra purpose.

thaibe, then u must be a person that gets stressed w/o goals.... my best friend is that way and has gone thru much counselling when between jobs or studies; when she starts a new job or heavy course load, she also becomes nervous and irritible due to over load...she needed to learn that not everything can be predictable or controlled too far in the future , and life is itself a purpose, and not everything needs a purpose, because if u dont meet your goals then u see it as wasted time, and time living is never wasted... it remings me of some zen group (they wrote cook books etc , in the states in the 70's) that stressed the point that all work is the same, if u have right mind while u work, then u are basically meditating (no music no talking etc, just concentrating on the soap in the toilet bowl, or the hoe in the ground) so no goal is needed......

sabaijai, maybe u remember the group etc...... anyway , i've lived my teenage and adult life this way and have worked in some of the most potentially boring jobs without feeling the frustration that many feel

the problem with goals is that once u arrive there, u have the feeling of what next?.....

ah!!! remembered: tassajara zen something or other

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Tassajara Cook Book indeed. If you know about Tassajara Cook Book do you also know about Morningtown Pizza?

[chechoie]

Thaibebop, I read your original post and I think that you are looking for some support to help you thru’ a bad patch if that is so, then please accept this offering.

I’ll tell you something that will probably sound strange, but it’s true.

I found the strength to “keep it together” as you put it, in the most unlikely place.

In a place where there is no Karma or previous lives, where there is no God, (benevolent or otherwise).

In a place where there is no fate or preordained destiny or even rhyme or reason.

I found the strength, and the will to survive and to deal with the troubles and pressures of life, in myself.

For decades I considered myself a religious man, or a spiritual man.

I don’t mean I went regularly to church to worship or the temple to meditate or that I belonged to a particular religion.

I mean I knew there was something more to this existence, that there was a reason for my life and a reason why things happened.

I didn’t understand any of it but I knew that there was something more, something bigger than all this.

Then one day I woke up and I didn’t know it anymore.

I realized that there was only me and that I was alone

Here comes the strange part. I was so relieved. It felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

Imagine that, all alone in all the universe, with no hope of a next life or a heaven or some divine intervention in my hour of need.

With no promise of a reward for all my good deeds. With no proven philosophy of life to live by, and I was actually happy, for the first time since I was a kid.

You may have, as I have, blood relations and a loving wife, friends that you trust and appreciate, but at the end of the day, make no mistake, you are alone.

You will live and you will die.

This does not mean that it is up to “you”.

That if you “take control of your life”, “work hard”, “make it happen”, (and all the other self help cliques), that everything will be fine.

You could work yourself into that state of mind and walk out onto the street and get hit by a bus.

What it means is that you have to make a choice.

Here are your choices, as I see it, take your pick:

1. Worry about it.

2. Don’t worry about it, be happy go lucky, whatever will be will be

3. Take refuge in some religion.

4. Trust in Lady Luck.

5. Bury yourself in your work and don’t think about it.

6. End it all.

Or you could try this:

Tell yourself, I am here but for a short time, it will past all too quickly,

so I should make the best of it in a positive way.

I should take care of my partner and my offspring as best I can because although they sometimes infuriate me, I love them and care about them.

I should respect my fellow creatures. Except the obnoxious ones or those that threaten.

I should think hard about what I want to do / or achieve and if or when I find this, I should give it my best endeavors because I will get a sense of fulfillment from this and this is essential for my well being.

I should strive to be happy.

I should never cease to wonder at the beauty of this planet and the incredible amount of diversity of life on it.

I must always remember that in all the mind boggling vastness of the universe this planet might very well be the only one of its kind. The result of a freakish random collision of chemicals and matter and that I should marvel at it and enjoy it while I can.

I should wonder at my fellow life-forms for their ingenuity, their humor, their achievements and their imagination, their courage and their self sacrifice.

I should know that I am not perfect and that I have made mistakes and will unintentionally continue to make mistakes.

I know I will sometimes wonder “why am I here”, but I will stop myself from wondering this because it will do no good.

I know that sometimes I will despair at the cruelty and injustice in this world, but I will do what I can.

Hope this helps to put things in perspective.

Sorry if I misunderstood your post, and if you where in fact looking for something else. Just trying to help.

Ok, what you may ask is an atheist doing prowling around on a Buddhist forum.

Well, although I may well be a “born again atheist” I do think that Buddhism has a lot to offer in terms of how one should live ones life.

I don’t mean the next life / Karma part but the Middle Way part.

Sorry if that sounds odd, but that’s the way it is.

If I have offended anyone who frequents this forum, (which I doubt knowing, the patience and tolerance of practicing Buddhists and those interested thereof), then please accept my apologies.

Chechoie.

[thaibebop]

Thaibebop, I read your original post and I think that you are looking for some support to help you thru’ a bad patch if that is so, then please accept this offering.

I’ll tell you something that will probably sound strange, but it’s true.

I found the strength to “keep it together” as you put it, in the most unlikely place.

In a place where there is no Karma or previous lives, where there is no God, (benevolent or otherwise).

In a place where there is no fate or preordained destiny or even rhyme or reason.

I found the strength, and the will to survive and to deal with the troubles and pressures of life, in myself.

For decades I considered myself a religious man, or a spiritual man.

I don’t mean I went regularly to church to worship or the temple to meditate or that I belonged to a particular religion.

I mean I knew there was something more to this existence, that there was a reason for my life and a reason why things happened.

I didn’t understand any of it but I knew that there was something more, something bigger than all this.

Then one day I woke up and I didn’t know it anymore.

I realized that there was only me and that I was alone

Here comes the strange part. I was so relieved. It felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

Imagine that, all alone in all the universe, with no hope of a next life or a heaven or some divine intervention in my hour of need.

With no promise of a reward for all my good deeds. With no proven philosophy of life to live by, and I was actually happy, for the first time since I was a kid.

You may have, as I have, blood relations and a loving wife, friends that you trust and appreciate, but at the end of the day, make no mistake, you are alone.

You will live and you will die.

This does not mean that it is up to “you”.

That if you “take control of your life”, “work hard”, “make it happen”, (and all the other self help cliques), that everything will be fine.

You could work yourself into that state of mind and walk out onto the street and get hit by a bus.

What it means is that you have to make a choice.

Here are your choices, as I see it, take your pick:

1. Worry about it.

2. Don’t worry about it, be happy go lucky, whatever will be will be

3. Take refuge in some religion.

4. Trust in Lady Luck.

5. Bury yourself in your work and don’t think about it.

6. End it all.

Or you could try this:

Tell yourself, I am here but for a short time, it will past all too quickly,

so I should make the best of it in a positive way.

I should take care of my partner and my offspring as best I can because although they sometimes infuriate me, I love them and care about them.

I should respect my fellow creatures. Except the obnoxious ones or those that threaten.

I should think hard about what I want to do / or achieve and if or when I find this, I should give it my best endeavors because I will get a sense of fulfillment from this and this is essential for my well being.

I should strive to be happy.

I should never cease to wonder at the beauty of this planet and the incredible amount of diversity of life on it.

I must always remember that in all the mind boggling vastness of the universe this planet might very well be the only one of its kind. The result of a freakish random collision of chemicals and matter and that I should marvel at it and enjoy it while I can.

I should wonder at my fellow life-forms for their ingenuity, their humor, their achievements and their imagination, their courage and their self sacrifice.

I should know that I am not perfect and that I have made mistakes and will unintentionally continue to make mistakes.

I know I will sometimes wonder “why am I here”, but I will stop myself from wondering this because it will do no good.

I know that sometimes I will despair at the cruelty and injustice in this world, but I will do what I can.

Hope this helps to put things in perspective.

Sorry if I misunderstood your post, and if you where in fact looking for something else. Just trying to help.

Ok, what you may ask is an atheist doing prowling around on a Buddhist  forum.

Well, although I may well be a “born again atheist” I do think that Buddhism has a lot to offer in terms of how one should live ones life.

I don’t mean the next life / Karma part but the Middle Way part.

Sorry if that sounds odd, but that’s the way it is.

If I have offended anyone who frequents this forum, (which I doubt knowing, the patience and tolerance of practicing Buddhists and those interested thereof), then please accept my apologies.

Chechoie.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Cool. Thanks.

I know what you mean. I was there once, I guess I forgot.

[Ice Maiden]

Thaibebop - Hello. When I first started college I was under alot of stress from my birth Mum when she "decided" for me what course I should do. She forced me to do English and Psychology at A level. But it really wasn't what I wanted, she told me I needed to earn money in the future and that was all that mattered. Not my happiness or anything.

I then plucked up the courage to call her and tell her I didn't want to study that and my Dad helped me alot with that. My Dad asked me to move to Thailand out my Mums way because of the circumstances with us anyway. And my Dad didn't like me being alone.

Now I'm happier and I'm chasing my dreams now instead of my Mums.

When going through the tough stages of living alone I tried going to counselling but it didn't work. Then you really have to stand on your own two feet I guess. Then I basically did the same as Chechoie and then later on I found my religion. I still find it hard and always have those second thoughts in my head but I try to remain strong and so far It's working.

I just want to say I wish you the very best of luck and I'm sure your family will be proud of you, in whatever you do. And they can help support you too

[longway]

I am not going into detail here (it would bore people) but things are diffcult for me and my family right now. Getting a little depressed and desparte.

It seems that alot of those who post in the Buddhism forum are very centered people who have practiced much in the ways of self control. So, I ask those enlightened few, what to do you to keep it together?

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Hi Thaibebop. I thot i'd post this story i've always liked, I think its buddhist related. BTW just so u know, we made monkeys of each other in another forum. Hope that makes sense

Once upon a time there was a king who had everything. His birthday was coming up and his courtiers were getting worried about what to get him. They decided to ask him and he said he wanted something that would make him sad when he was happy and happy when he was sad.

On hearing this bizarre request his court got even more worried and decided to send a group to comb his kingdom for such a thing; if it existed, offering a large reward for anyone who could provide it.

Eventually the delegation found itself lost in the middle of a swamp and came accross an old crone, after getting directions from her, one of the group, as an after thought, asked her if she had any information about the king's desire, explaining the reward.

The old crone said 'Hang on I've got just the thing'. She went into her shack and came back with a ring and gave it to the courtiers, when they examined it they realised they had finally found what they were looking for, and without further ado lopped off the old crone's head.

This way they could keep the reward and claim credit for discovering the item.

On the king's birthday they presented him with the ring with much pomp and fanfare. The king was well pleased and bestowed his favours generously with a sad smile.

What was so special about the ring you ask? On was incribed the words: This too shall pass.

I hope u dont find this dumb story patronising, hope its of somekind of help.

[thaibebop]

Thanks guys.

[Bakuteh]

Often times, I try to read something from a Buddhist book or mag or even surf the net to some Buddhist website like BuddhaNet which I find useful as a resource centre. There are mp3 dhamma audio files in English there but few are related to the Thai forest variety. Any chance that you might know where to access them?

Probably the most active Western monks of the Forest Tradition now are Thanissaro Bikkhu at the Metta Forest Monastery:

http://www.mettaforest.org/Audio%20Dhamma.htm

and

Ajahm Brahm at the Buddhist Society of Western Australia:

http://www.bswa.org/modules/mydownloads/viewcat.php?cid=4

There are lots of good written Dhamma talks by Ajahn Chah, Ajahn Jagaro, Ajahn Summedho and others. For more audio talks try

http://www.dhammatalks.org.uk/index2.htm

and Ajahn Boowa's site at http://www.luangta.com/English/site/audio.php

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The links you supplied were just great, many thanks to you. Any temple in Bkk where you can have sermons given or translated into English? Sorry for this question as I am not local in Thailand. Would like to speak to and/or hear some Dhamma sermons in English the next time I'm in town.

[camerata]

Any temple in Bkk where you can have sermons given or translated into English? Sorry for this question as I am not local in Thailand. Would like to speak to and/or hear some Dhamma sermons in English the next time I'm in town.

I've no idea about temples but there are talks in English at The World Fellowship of Buddhists near the Emporium.