Wife Wants Money

[SGD]

Obviously the OP's wife is thinking of a higher number than him or otherwise the thread would never arise.

However, unless the OP has prevented his wife from earning money or requested that she stay at home in the intervening years since her last visit, perhaps it can be best put to her that life is not a free ride and she should have put something aside for such a situation.

[LaoPo]

Wife wants money?

Be generous:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWGjK5CjjtQ&feature=fvsr

or, make it rain...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8D17gVK3Rg&feature=related

LaoPo

[MJP]

I guess 100,000 baht should cover it more or less. It all depends....

That's a lot of money. Does that include the return flights?

No, I wasn't thinking the cost of the flight included. However, I was thinking she might want to buy her family she is staying with some special gifts like a new refrigerator, or TV, etc. Since she has been away from home for over 5 years, she may want to buy a lot of things and do a lot of things that one wouldn't normally do during one month but she has thought about for 5+ years and hasn't been able to do. She may want to get as much of that in as possible during the month she will be in Thailand. Might want to leave some baht with her family too. It all depends on the two of you...but I wouldn't think any less than 50,000 baht and guess about 100,000 baht depending on what you can afford and what she plans to do. Would be less if she is just going there and live off her relatives but I think more is expected. Certainly you wouldn't want to give too much and fund or enable any bad habits but only you two would know that.

I think that's fair enough and I also think it's best if she goes with the intention of identifying 'needs' and targeting the spending directly. Like you say, buying white goods and cleaning the house up. But handing out lots of cash can cause problems. Since I got back two years ago and took over all spending, we've made serious progress where before the money (a lot) was just being squandered, it's important to do it yourself.

[MiG16]

I have deleted a number of off topic posts.

The op is asking for ideas and estimates on expenditures.

Nobody is dying. Nobody is buying or selling a house.

And those that are suggesting she is trying to get loads of money - read the op's reply. She has asked for 10,000 baht. When a few have suggested 50k would be reasonable.

[fredtitmus]

You know what its not even the advice thats given, its the way its given.

Some people are so <deleted> horrible to people just asking for a bit of advice,

Again, I respect your point, but respectfully disagree.

You do not questioning why an adult, married for several years, has to ask strangers about how much money to spend for his wife's trip?

It reminds me about someone here that asked what to buy for his wife on their anniversary.

How can we know?

There are probably 100s of factors which must be taken into consideration before one can answer OP's question.

He has been around on the Forum for a while, so he should have been prepared for a variety of replies.

James24 Points were valid, although unfortunately he has resulted in becoming what he complains about. And I am about to do the same.

Some people take pleasure in putting others down - its often the same people and it gets very tiresome. James24 the only thing to do is to watch out for certain TV members and skip over their posts in future. This is not always easy to do, but there are a number of posters on this forum who write nothing but rubbish, its simply better to ignore them. These very same people enjoy getting a rise out of others - ignoring them is the only adequate response. Do you notice it's always the same guys crying troll ?

Regarding the OP's question: It's better to ask a question than to dive in unknowingly. There maybe some useful replies which I'm sure the Op will be grateful for IF he has the patience to sift through the insults, rubbish and useless spiel many spew out.

Regarding what to buy a wife for a Wedding Anniversary - I'm stuck on that one at the moment, it'd be nice to receive a range of ideas - sometimes the best idea can come from the strangest of sources. I chose not to ask that question here though as I simply couldn't be bothered to sift through the crap many would respond with.

And finally: Assistance for the OP: Perhaps the wife has a good idea of how much she will need and the Op is checking with other posters who may have been in similar circumstances to see if its within reason . If the Ops wife has a Bank account here then utilize that with transfers as and when needed.

OP: it comes down to this:

a) Do you trust your wife to be able to withstand any excessive financial demands which may be placed on her by her family (if they are the sort to try this) ?

Do you trust your wife to use the money wisely and not wastefully ?

If you do, then simply send her over with more than you both think she may need.

If you don't then you have more to worry about and need plan and agree on something before she arrives.

WELL SAID RICHARD!!!

I would say 30,000bt would be enough.

Im just wondering,did you actually meet your wife in thailand or back in your home country?

[fredtitmus]

I have deleted a number of off topic posts.

The op is asking for ideas and estimates on expenditures.

Nobody is dying. Nobody is buying or selling a house.

And those that are suggesting she is trying to get loads of money - read the op's reply. She has asked for 10,000 baht. When a few have suggested 50k would be reasonable.

sorry if i have missed something mig but on what page has he replied she wants 10,000bt?

[tartempion]

Let her go work for it, then it's HER money, her decision, not yours

[Dakhar]

Is this what happens when u marry a girl 30+ years your junior?

"Help, my wifey needs to go to XXXXXXX and I need to pack her a lunch box, where can I find an adult size sippy cup?"

Honestly this type of stuff makes me never want to get married if one has to worry about such small matters....

[bigneilo]

How much money would you take if you where going with her? think about that then just give her half.

[Fatdog]

Let her go work for it, then it's HER money, her decision, not yours

My wife does not work; it is not her choice, because that is how I want things to be.

If my wife wanted to go back to her village after 5 years away, what she wanted to spend would depend on her.

We have joint accounts and any money in our accounts is our money.

I spoke to my wife about this and we think between 100k and 150k baht would be enough. But that is just us.

When we go to her village, usually about 3 times per year, I expect to spend about 30k baht per week.

FD

[hagler]

OP joined in 2005, only 11 posts.

Could this be a 'sleeper troll?'

That is the stupidest reply I have seen in ages on TV. Well done.

[mca]

That is the stupidest reply I have seen in ages on TV. Well done.

You're not looking hard enough mate.

[XXpate48USA]

OK then james24

How long is a piece of string?

I kinda agree with james24 on that.

The string is measured from one end to the other to get the exact length. If you pull it hard it may be a bit longer depending on what it is made of. ok, next question!

[JurgenG]

OP joined in 2005, only 11 posts.

Could this be a 'sleeper troll?'

That is the stupidest reply I have seen in ages on TV. Well done.

Conspiracy theory, I love it !

I just watch "Salt" , maybe we can make a movie with Angelina Jolie playing SBK.

[Newguy70]

To the Op,

I am not sure of what your financial circumstances are, but ask yourself this. You married her, thus you trust her. So now show her some respect, and stop treating her like a child. I am not sure why she has not come back to Thailand for some time, however a plane ticket is not that much. You are either (a)strapped for funds, (b)a tight wad, or © she has not wanted to visit. I highly doubt that it was ©. In a relationship both partners have access to the funds, is this the case in your relationship? I should be able to ask, as you were so care free about going onto a public forum and asking those who have not relationship to you whatsoever consider appropriate.

Your wife knows what is appropriate; now taker her to the airport, kiss her goodbye and tell her to enjoy herself. It really is not that difficult. She will spend the appropriate amount!

:jap:

Sidenote:If you are uncomtorable with this, then maybe you should be asking yourself should you really be married. Because this post has trust issues written all over it. Oh and what do I think would be an appropriate amount. Hmmm i would say not less than 50kbht, this does not include ticket, etc. this should be free spending money/do with it what you want, no questions asked.

Edited February 4, 2011 by Newguy70

[chuang]

He trusts this forum more than his wife...

[kropotkin]

This is my opinion on the matter.

I live in thailand - 3 years now.

Twice my wife and i visited my family in Europe together, twice i went alone.

My family expected TOKEN gifts: clothes, fruit,....

And that is what they got,

My family was happy with that, I was happy with that.

I do not see why things should be different, if we lived in Europe, and we would visit Thailand.

And to the posters that claim the OP does not trust his wife with money.

Spending money without thinking about tomorrow IS very thai.

My wife is very europeanised, but when she goes to the market with 500 baht, she spends 500 baht, when she goes with 1.000 baht, she spends 1.000 baht.

Of course there are golddiggers, but in most (?) cases, there is no bad intention. The result would be the same however.

It is a way of life.

My wife has her own credit card..... coupled on MY bankaccount that i follow through internet banking.

I can block the card.

She is aware of that.

I hope I will never have to do such a thing.

My wife got bankrupted before - lost her bussiness - that was the evil brother's doing (with the support of their father....).

That will not happen with OUR money...

Showing off is a bad habit - i hated it when i lived in europe, i am not going to like it now that i live in thailand.

Maybe OP's wife told her family that she is rich now.

Or the family just simply assumes so.

And therefore the family expects money / expensive gifts.

In that case the OP should support his wife in facing a difficult situation - but he should not give in.

Hey, how would that do for "buddhist thought of the day"?

[Moonrakers]

That is the stupidest reply I have seen in ages on TV. Well done.

You're not looking hard enough mate.

You're right.

I'm sure I've made even more stupid comments elsewhere

[fletchsmile]

OP,

Your wife is right, she will be expected to spend some cash, to make merit, probably buy gifts etc.

As she's been right once, she could well be on a roll, so why not ask her what she thinks, and then further even how she arrived at that number. Who knows she may get 3 in a row right

My guess based on the info OP gave: As she hasn't seen them for 4 years, and will need to live herself for a month, somewhere between THB 10k to THB 1mio. The former being subsistence and a few little gifts, the latter being if you've plenty of money to burn/ throw away as it's a nice round figure to giver her big face for her family and for them to see how well she has done for herself. 1mio wouldn't be my choice though, so I'd rather just ask

Edited February 4, 2011 by fletchsmile

[maccaroni man]

well, the answer I always get to 'how much do you need?' is always 1,000,000 baht!So I've stopped asking

Family members 'back home' wherever that may be, always think the person who has emigrated has an endless supply of money. Some of my friends here in London who go back 'home' to various countries always come back with tales of how their family expected all their financial needs/wants to be instantly gratified.

I suggest she take the exact amount she would have in your home to last a month, that way they can see that, while she may have more than them, it's not a magic money pot that never runs out.

Tam boon? It's in an envelope anyway but if she wanted to make up for the time she's been away...1,000 I reckon is loads. Anyway, there's plenty of Wat all over the world so there's no need to presume she hasn't been doing it when she's been away.

I know the expectation will be there for her to now be 'kon ruay' but the sooner that gets nipped in the bud, the better.

All of the above, of course, is only my opinion.

I have to admit that before i saw your number i was thinking 40k to 100k baht, so i must really be out of touch if anywhere near 1m baht is what is expected even 500k as an other posted seems way over the top to me.

[PNGinBKK]

is she working ?

THB 1500 per day for pocket money

THB 1500 per family member per day (to cover hand outs)

THB 150,000 Merit Making

Flight home - THB 0 - she ain't ever coming back !!!

[JimsKnight]

This song suits the thread

[kropotkin]

Money for merit making?

Surely, that is a joke?

[F1fanatic]

Last time I went back to Europe (Finland and England) to visit family and friends, I spent about 50,000 baht (or at the time, about 1,000 pounds) for a five week stay. This was 2 years ago.

Needless to say Europe is FAR more expensive than Thailand, and I was doing everything I could to pay for meals etc. as family and friends were providing accommodation.

Included in this amount is the things I had to buy that I am unable to get in Thailand.

But don't worry, I'm sure my 50,000 odd baht in Europe is ridiculous - a stay in Thailand requires 500,000 baht at least.

[glomp]

Come on, the op made a reasonable request.

He perhaps could have phrased it better and asked about current living expences though.

Some people just arent good with money and will spend every last red cent without even noticing. perhaps this is the case with the lady?

Edit: if she was going to leave he would find her keys on the kitchen table one day, no need for charades.

Edited February 4, 2011 by glomp

[mca]

That is the stupidest reply I have seen in ages on TV. Well done.

You're not looking hard enough mate.

You're right.

I'm sure I've made even more stupid comments elsewhere

Me too. And the accusers have even been kind enough to inform me by PM how stupid my replies were. Well that is what I gleaned from the mouth dribbling rant that constituted their message. They might well have been giving me a recipe for noodle soup so incoherent were their missives.

[TAWP]

This is my opinion on the matter.

I live in thailand - 3 years now.

Twice my wife and i visited my family in Europe together, twice i went alone.

My family expected TOKEN gifts: clothes, fruit,....

And that is what they got,

Let me stop you right there - there is no comparison between families in the west and here, unless you happen to be married into a BKK family of reasonable wealth and kids that was schooled in the US etc.

We might not like it, but it is the truth.

So take it from there.

[kdc1899]

Last time I went back to Europe (Finland and England) to visit family and friends, I spent about 50,000 baht (or at the time, about 1,000 pounds) for a five week stay. This was 2 years ago.

Needless to say Europe is FAR more expensive than Thailand, and I was doing everything I could to pay for meals etc. as family and friends were providing accommodation.

Included in this amount is the things I had to buy that I am unable to get in Thailand.

But don't worry, I'm sure my 50,000 odd baht in Europe is ridiculous - a stay in Thailand requires 500,000 baht at least.

Spot on.

Gonna cost 30 -70K justfor airplane fare.

Give 50 K spending money.

Bhuddists don't care much for material stuff anyway.

[kropotkin]

This is my opinion on the matter.

I live in thailand - 3 years now.

Twice my wife and i visited my family in Europe together, twice i went alone.

My family expected TOKEN gifts: clothes, fruit,....

And that is what they got,

Let me stop you right there - there is no comparison between families in the west and here, unless you happen to be married into a BKK family of reasonable wealth and kids that was schooled in the US etc.

We might not like it, but it is the truth.

So take it from there.

If poor thais want a slice of the cake, they should address their government, not individual foreigners.

That is how we Europeans escaped from our 19th century too.

[TAWP]

If poor thais want a slice of the cake, they should address their government, not individual foreigners.

That is how we Europeans escaped from our 19th century too.

No, it isn't my socialist Comrade.

Asking for government handouts without flinching is a late 20th century phenomenon in a select range of nations. And they all are starting to suffer from too heavy of an cost now...