Trebilcock Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 Just learned that (God willing) I am to become a father for the first time, and right now I'm bouncing like a pinball between euphoria and panic . I know it isn't easy at any time of life, but by next Spring I'll be nudging the big Five-O. So if anyone out there has any advice on how to cope with becoming a father later in life, how your own Thai wife/girlfriend fared with having a child in the UK, or anything at all, I'd be very, very grateful, as I'm now in completely new territory and feeling just a bit scared. Thanks for reading. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nickerelastic Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 Congratulations. As I recall I was terrified at the prospect of parenthood, an' I was half you age at the time. Don't worry .......enjoy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrbojangles Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 Congratulations Trebilcock (maybe it was having 2 many of these that's got you into this predicament) Seriously though, you'll make a great father, enjoy it. The young have their youth but you've got the wisdom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chainat1 Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 Just learned that (God willing) I am to become a father for the first time, and right now I'm bouncing like a pinball between euphoria and panic . I know it isn't easy at any time of life, but by next Spring I'll be nudging the big Five-O. So if anyone out there has any advice on how to cope with becoming a father later in life, how your own Thai wife/girlfriend fared with having a child in the UK, or anything at all, I'd be very, very grateful, as I'm now in completely new territory and feeling just a bit scared. Thanks for reading. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Congratulations ! Im only 30 but I was very excited and nervous. One thing I found is that its a learning curve and your not suppose to know things at first. I am sure you will be fine. You can be a great dad no matter what your age ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bangbuathongben Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 Well done matie!! Good luck, sure it will all fall into place! Bang............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leisurely Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 Sorry, Mr Leisurely was only 43 when he became Daddy. Taken to it like a duck to water, much better than me - 37 first (and last time) mum. AGe does not enter into it, it is intent and love that are the important stuff. Enjoy. It goes so fast......................in retrospect! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barryofthailand Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 I like you have never had children before, but after two years the adoption of my Thai wifes son finally went through. I've been very excited. We just celebrated his eighth birthday, and he now carries my last name. Barry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barryofthailand Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 Oh I forgot. Congratulations, Barry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morden Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 Congratulations! You're a lucky man. The best advice that I can give is to read a good book on parenting and then throw it away. If you rely on books you'll be contantly worrying. Much the same applies to health visitors if they exist where you are - usually they're frustrated virgins. Dads have to remember sometimes to give the little one plenty of attention, smile and hugs - even with the messy jobs. The only job exclusive to Mum is breastfeeding. Oh, and you definitely won't be number 1 in Mum's world anymore!! And get a good digital camera. Good luck!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadman Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 Many congrats! Despite the aggravation that goes with the territory, I wouldn't have changed it for the world. Your life will be that much more fulfilled. The comments regarding the parenting book are right - you can't be trained for it, you just pick it up as you go along. Love and common sense will do the trick. I first became a parent at 22, and I wish that I had then had the wisdom that you doubtless have. You are a lucky man. Oh, and in case anyone gives you any old cobblers about being a older parent - my grandfather was 70 when my dad was born, and that was in 1934. They enjoyed it and so will you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baghead Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 Congrats! I'm approaching my mid forties and I think about it from time to time. Thanks for giving me a little strength to seriously consider it. My dad was a bit over the hill when he had me. My friends used to ask me if he was my grandad??! Good luck! I'm sure everything will work out fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Moog Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 ์ำNewborn baby poop actually smells quite good. The smell of victory. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billd766 Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 Do you know what is better than a first time dad being nearly 50? Being a second time dad at 60. I am. You don't forget the basic skills but you have go go back a long way in time and your memory to find the right songs to soothe the baby and help him sleep. You also have more time and patience and you can relax a bit as you know that some of the things that panicked you the last time are easier to understand this time around. I was 60 and my wife was 38 when Tiw came along, a big surprise to both of us, but then my dad was 55 and my mum 40 when I came along. Tiw is the best and most precious present that my wife could ever give to me and I could not have imagined anything like this happening in my life in Thailand. the 3 of us himself on a good day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidtongue Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 Just learned that (God willing) I am to become a father for the first time, and right now I'm bouncing like a pinball between euphoria and panic . I know it isn't easy at any time of life, but by next Spring I'll be nudging the big Five-O. So if anyone out there has any advice on how to cope with becoming a father later in life, how your own Thai wife/girlfriend fared with having a child in the UK, or anything at all, I'd be very, very grateful, as I'm now in completely new territory and feeling just a bit scared. Thanks for reading. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Congratulations. Relax and enjoy the sleep you can get. Your confidence, or lack thereof, will get transmitted to the kids. Plan on making time for your family, even if the instinct is to go into hyperdrive and worry about finances and planning. You might want to look into the issues of having the child born overseas as it will make a difference later on - maybe important to you or maybe not. Plan on getting her some help for doing things around the house and just being able to take a break. Buy baby clothes 2 sizes bigger than what you think as they dont last long and are almost always too small. If you have a son and your wife falls in love with him, adjust. If a daughter, she will adjust. Celebrate miracles. They don't make appearances very often Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyk Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 I was 46 when my daughter was born after 22 years of marriage. I had a hard time with it because of the loss of freedom. You simply can't do what you want when you want. There are times when I want to strangle her but overall you experience feelings you have never had before. You are closer to your child than to your wife: you child is blood, your wife was a stranger. It will not be easy but the rewards are great. Best of luck to all of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minbari73 Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 Start buying nappies now. I'm not joking, expect at least 8 to 10 changes per day in the first few months! Whatever you do, make sure Mum breast feeds. Not only for the health benefits for baby which is most important, but also for your own sake. 12AM 2AM 4AM and in between, guess who has to get up and feed bubba ? If you go the bottle route, you will be doing it hehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rigger Posted September 6, 2005 Share Posted September 6, 2005 Congratulations mate it is one of life,s best feelings having a mini me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nickerelastic Posted September 6, 2005 Share Posted September 6, 2005 Serious reply. As a breast feeder, I was so exhausted my ex had to wake me up. Having said that. It was the only thing he did. Nevertheless enjoy the experience it's priceless. Every day is a new joy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mpdkorat Posted September 6, 2005 Share Posted September 6, 2005 Just learned that (God willing) I am to become a father for the first time, and right now I'm bouncing like a pinball between euphoria and panic . I know it isn't easy at any time of life, but by next Spring I'll be nudging the big Five-O. So if anyone out there has any advice on how to cope with becoming a father later in life, how your own Thai wife/girlfriend fared with having a child in the UK, or anything at all, I'd be very, very grateful, as I'm now in completely new territory and feeling just a bit scared. Thanks for reading. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> We seem to be a fertile lot of old buggers in this forum. I'm 48 child due in December. I'm thrilled about. Congrats!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chownah Posted September 6, 2005 Share Posted September 6, 2005 Advice for Parents: Some people feel uncomfortable when attempting to engage a baby in play....the little ones often cheat and try to take a 3 when it is obvioius to everyone that the dice indicate 4....they have a hard time holding their cards and often drool on them..they forget when its their turn to bet or fold, to bid or pass....it can be quite discouraging.......what you must remember is that to play with children the most important thing is to give up on any attempt at dignity...children do not respond to dignity. Poopy wa wa icky nano plopy moo!!! SMiley wiley cacac chugawhat!!! Now we're having fun!!!! You'll get lots of smiles with this line, from the baby and from everyone else!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nickerelastic Posted September 6, 2005 Share Posted September 6, 2005 Poopy wa wa icky nano plopy moo!!! SMiley wiley cacac chugawhat!!! Aw shit!!! Then you look at the perpetrator and go all mushy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edward B Posted September 6, 2005 Share Posted September 6, 2005 Congratulatios mate. Start learning all those kids songs and stories again, until you know them by heart. ... You might want to look into the issues of having the child born overseas as it will make a difference later on - maybe important to you or maybe not. I'm not sure about this suggestion. Perhaps kidtongue can elaborate. My son has dual nationality because he was born here. Don't see anything wrong with that, in fact it has alot of advantages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted September 6, 2005 Share Posted September 6, 2005 Congratulations. I must say that when I am your age I would think twice about having kids. I know of a couple of guys over 50 who have had kids. If I were sixty, would I have the energy to be a good father? Is it fair for the kids who will probably still be in school when I died? I would have to think very carefully about having kids in my old age, and would I be able to support them when I was past working age. Anyway good luck man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artisan Posted September 6, 2005 Share Posted September 6, 2005 (edited) Congratulations Dad. Enjoy your baby.....every day. I was 62 years old in 2002 when my Thai wife gave birth to our beautiful daughter Saranya. A few days after that, my daughter in the UK produced my first grandson. Maybe, I will 'hand in my soup plate' whilst Saranya is still at school......but maybe not. That is not the point. Saranya is my wife's first child and I know that they will have a happy future together. That is the point my friends........they will have a future. Edited September 6, 2005 by Artisan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAceFace Posted September 6, 2005 Share Posted September 6, 2005 Great News Being a father for the first time is an amazing feeling and can be quite scary at the same time. The little ones do not come with instrutions though, its a new learning curve for the new parents also. Good luck and enjoy. TAF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chainat1 Posted September 6, 2005 Share Posted September 6, 2005 I was 46 when my daughter was born after 22 years of marriage.I had a hard time with it because of the loss of freedom. You simply can't do what you want when you want. There are times when I want to strangle her but overall you experience feelings you have never had before. You are closer to your child than to your wife: you child is blood, your wife was a stranger. It will not be easy but the rewards are great. Best of luck to all of you. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> 'Spot on Johnnyk' well put Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted September 6, 2005 Share Posted September 6, 2005 Congratulations on the great news. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trebilcock Posted September 9, 2005 Author Share Posted September 9, 2005 Just a quick and belated line to say thanks to everyone who replied. Not feeling quite so panicky now, thanks in part to all the sound advice and good wishes here. I guess it's true what people say, that you learn parenthood as you go along, just like everything else in life. Expect to be living in the UK more or less indefinitely, so thinking of an English first name and a Thai middle name. Any thoughts on that? Congratulations Trebilcock (maybe it was having 2 many of these that's got you into this predicament) (For the benefit of non-English members, it's pronounced "Treb-ill-coe" Thanks again folks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 (edited) If treblecock is your surname I would suggest a short first name. get the mother to choose the Thai middle name, that's what I did. Depending on the month of the birth and other things there is a book that they can choose from. Cybil and Bilco would sound a bit strange. Good luck and don't worry. Edited September 9, 2005 by Neeranam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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