Sois 7 And 8 Go-Go Review

[PattayaOneTeam]

Nightmarch

Seating for Dwarves and Garden Gnomes: I don't recall ever spending a night on the tiles where the seating, and the quality thereof, became almost the focal point of the entire exercise. Yet this is what I found myself increasingly being concerned with during a reconnaissance of the seven go-go bars around the Soi 7 and 8 area. Maybe if your backside has enough comfortable trackside then the overall experience of watching a bevy of cavorting damsels dance around the chrome poles is enhanced, albeit subtly.

Now, before some bum decides that maybe the problem is not the furnishings in the dens I'm about to write about but in fact has more to do with my own protruding posterior, I can assure you dear reader that my rear end does not resemble the back of a bus.

First port of call was the Sexy go-go in Soi 7. It's at the Second Road end of the soi and has had a couple of owners and gone under different names over the few years it has been in operation. The music (although too loud) is the best thing about a joint that really needs someone to spend a few baht turning it from resembling an abandoned warehouse into a proper…think of a word that also begin with a 'w' and ends in 'house'. The bench-style seating along the right-hand side wall is narrow and bumpy, the upholstery having long ago surrendered to the pounding of bigger-boned persons placing their buttocks upon the cheap vinyl.

The seven dancing damsels (Dopey, Sleazy, Sneezy, Happy, Bashful, Grumpy and Grumpier) were of average physical charms with at least six of them better suited to serving behind the confines of a beer boozer rather than disporting their apparel in a go-go. Lady drinks are a standard 100 baht while draft amber fluid is the discounted thirst-quencher at 50 baht a glass.

Towards the Beach Road end of Soi 7 is the Silver Star 2 go-go bar. This is usually quite busy and has a small battalion of dancing maidens caressing the chrome poles on the small stage at the entrance or keeping their important orifices clean in the Jacuzzi further into the den. Apparel tends to be almost optional, at least when it comes to the upper body; I wonder how many of the wallet emptiers must spend a percentage of their salary fighting off chest infections?

While there are no real stunners in the place the majority of the dancers are young and lissome and appear to enjoy the loud car alarm music. The bench seating to the left of the entrance is also narrow, but without the bumps experienced in Sexy.

Draft goes off at 65 baht a glass.

A few doors closer to Beach Road, the relatively new Clinic go-go is still yet to find the right kind of medicine that will make it a real winner. The 20-plus crew of chrome pole molesters is a mixed bunch with some quite attractive young ladies, although they appeared to suffer from the same 'my guano is odourless' attitude prevalent in so many dens in Fun Town. The dress code is freestyle, similar to that of the damsels in Heaven Above in Soi Diamond. The white décor owes much to the aforementioned Heaven Above, but the bench seats are, like Sexy and Silver Star 2, narrow. The music, as you might expect, is standard loud car alarm. Draft froth is 65 baht while other libations start at 100 baht and work up.

Around the corner on the way to Soi 8 is the long-established World Wide go-go. At last here was a place where the bench seating was wide and comfortable. The music was good and at a sensible decibel level. The hostesses are dressed like casino croupiers while the dancers are clearly attuned to the punters who are newcomers compared to the expats and long-termers. Plenty of uncovered flesh on show, although one overweight dancer could definitely use a Weight Watchers voucher for her next birthday.

Draft amber (Singha) is 55 baht a glass while the bottled variety is 70 baht and other thirst quenchers go higher than this.

Into Soi 8 and the original Silver Star go-go. Basically, refer to my comments above for Silver Star 2 as this place runs along the same lines.

The First go-go has been closed and then tried as a coyote den since the last time I wandered in. Back to being a go-go again I really don't know how it survives. Not that it's the worst place I've ever seen, far from it. The joint is in a bad location, being stuck behind a gauntlet of beer boozers and had just five dancers when I wandered in, and one of those was a ladyboy. It runs a happy hour from 7:00 until 10:00pm with bottled amber froth at 70 baht (no draft), so the incentive for the budget-conscious expat is removed. The music is good and not too loud; there's a pool table (20 baht a game) and the bar fine is 600 baht. I left thinking, 'how much longer?'

At the top of Soi 8 is Sexy Girls go-go. It expanded into the old U2 beer boozer about six months ago and has lost a little of the old intimacy it once possessed. Most of the dancers are average and reveal little, apart from the Jacuzzi girls of course, but it's the music that makes this a winner. Modelled along the lines of the Tim go-go (Second Road), it features a large screen with music videos: I watched the likes of John Denver, Glen Campbell, Johnny Cash, Neil Young, Robbie Williams, and Pink Floyd while in the den. Worth a look if only for the music.

Low end of the market: Babydolls go-go is, for some people, a crass joint. Others find it, and its ilk (e.g. Windmill Club) confronting. Still others claim it's too much in your face (literally in many cases, even early in the evening). This reaction comes not only from those fairly new to the Dante's Inferno-like maelstrom that is Fun Town, but resident expats of many years standing. I like it, with some reservations. I tend to agree the activities of some patrons and damsels leaves a lot to be desired in terms of decorum, but then a Pattaya go-go bar is, by its very definition, hardly opened as an example of moral rectitude and propriety. You want tea and scones with the vicar on a Sunday you don't come trawling in Pattaya.

I am not alone in liking Babydolls. A poll taken among the members on the www.pattayaddicts.com website finished up with Babydolls being ranked as their number one venue for 2010. OK, 54 votes or 10.71 percent of the total is hardly a ringing endorsement, but it's still better than coming last. For the record, second place, with 47 votes, went to Baccara with Airport third (46 votes) and Happy fourth (45 votes).

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-- Pattaya One 2011-02-15