" Kid In The Candy Shop ", Faithful, Subtle Or Butterfly?

[siammcfarang]

I am new here, but not new to Thailand, its culture, etc. Another poster talked about how to meet nice thai women and keep them? I think I.forbes mentioned that if a guy is young and good looking he would not need to worry about meeting a nice lady in LOS therefore have no need to write such a post. This has some merit, however even middle aged normal looking guys with sincere attitudes and kind hearts can do okay with decent women in LOS.

Many farang mess up good relationships with decent Thai women because they are like the proverbial new kid in the candy store. Their heads are spinning out of control... and look at that! wow..look at that!! and like the kid in the candy store, there are too many delicious treats to resist, so when he finds a good piece of "candy", he cannot help himself from trying more treats..

..I been there.. had a nice decent attractive blaa blaa blaa thai lady the first trip there, and by the second trip I had managed to f it up by acting like the "kid in the candy store" .. a guy doesn't know what he had until its gone.. so if he is smart, he licks his wounds..feels sorry for himself for a while, then meets another nice thai lady and learns from his mistakes..

.. unless a guy wants to be a butterfly and that is fine, as long as they don't mind what that entails. But being a" kid in the candy store" and doing the same thing over and over again ( and getting dumped again by the jealous Thai lady), and expecting a different result, well isn't that one of the definitions of insanity??

Farang guys that end up with the "good" thai ladies are either faithful, or very subtle and don't kiss and tell, even to their drinking buddies.

Which camp are you in, faithful, subtle, or confirmed butterfly?

signed: ye reap what ye sow eh?

[Kilgore Trout]

"I read an old quotation in a book just yesterday, said you reap just what you sow, the debts you make you have to pay, can you get to that?"

Funkadelic

[JurgenG]

The "good" women, you don't find them, they find you.

[jimbeam1]

I still like window shopping.

jb1

[MrsMills]

Many Farang screw up with Thai women for the same reason they screwed up with women from their own countries, inexperience !!

If your incessant moaning drove your Farang wife into the arms of another man, why would your incessant moaning in Thailand have a different result ?

[Ulysses G.]

I was like a kid in a candy store for 20 years. Now I am more like a kid in an apple shop. I am only interested every once in a while.

[Mrjlh]

Many Farang screw up with Thai women for the same reason they screwed up with women from their own countries, inexperience !!

If your incessant moaning drove your Farang wife into the arms of another man, why would your incessant moaning in Thailand have a different result ?

Ummm...I only have "incessant moaning" during one activity which usually leads to her incessant screaming...so why would that drive to another man????

Besides. I know more really nice Thai lady's than I know nice men to pass them off too. Causes a bigger problem with my GF. If anyone does, she does all the moaning.

[MrsMills]

Many Farang screw up with Thai women for the same reason they screwed up with women from their own countries, inexperience !!

If your incessant moaning drove your Farang wife into the arms of another man, why would your incessant moaning in Thailand have a different result ?

Ummm...I only have "incessant moaning" during one activity which usually leads to her incessant screaming...so why would that drive to another man????

Besides. I know more really nice Thai lady's than I know nice men to pass them off too. Causes a bigger problem with my GF. If anyone does, she does all the moaning.

So she's not happy with you, same result can be expected .

[Mrjlh]

Many Farang screw up with Thai women for the same reason they screwed up with women from their own countries, inexperience !!

If your incessant moaning drove your Farang wife into the arms of another man, why would your incessant moaning in Thailand have a different result ?

Ummm...I only have "incessant moaning" during one activity which usually leads to her incessant screaming...so why would that drive to another man????

Besides. I know more really nice Thai lady's than I know nice men to pass them off too. Causes a bigger problem with my GF. If anyone does, she does all the moaning.

So she's not happy with you, same result can be expected .

She moans because she can't find any nice guys either. She loves the crap out of me. I don't have any worries.

[MrsMills]

I see your avatar is of an Ostrich, very apt, if I may be so bold to say.

Now, where's that sand that you stick your head in ?

[IanForbes]

First, you have to understand yourself and know what you really DO want. It's all out there if you truly DO want it. I know several April-November marriages that work VERY well. I know two lovely Thai ladies who are hooked up with farang drunks who are 20 years senior to them, and still put up with the guy's bullshit. Why they do so I have no idea, but they do. And, from what I observe they truly do love/like the guys. It's NOT just a financial situation.

As for myself I don't WANT a permanent relationship with more than the 3 ladies I already have. And, they are free to go any time they want. I don't mind sharing them with anyone else so long as we have a good time when we are together. I'm too dam old to get married again, and I wouldn't want some lovely lady in the prime of her life to be stuck with some old codger who could no longer perform like a man. However, while I still can I'll just continue enjoying myself. But, that is just me and it's certainly not for everyone. I have never knowingly played around with another man's wife or girl friend, and never will. Conversely, I don't expect someone to be faithful to me either if I were to be romancing someone else. But, despite openly flirting with the ladies it does not mean I'm going to proceed any further with them, other than a few laughs at the bar. I'm actually a fairly faithful kind of guy and I never played around on either of my former two wives, and I don't have much respect for men that do. But that is for them to work out with their partner.

However, I can certainly understand the temptation when first arriving in Thailand. It's too in your face not to be tempted. But again, you have to analyze what you actually want and understand the consequences of your own actions. I've known many men who have screwed up an otherwise great relationship for just a few minues of pleasure with a stranger.

[Mrjlh]

I see your avatar is of an Ostrich, very apt, if I may be so bold to say.

Now, where's that sand that you stick your head in ?

Oh so now we get personal? Look in the mirror lately? Or did it break?:jap:

[manarak]

Not sure this thread can lead anywhere...

I think one remains a butterfly until he finds a perfect match.

[IanForbes]

Not sure this thread can lead anywhere...

I think one remains a butterfly until he finds a perfect match.

That is true, but it can take a LOT of searching. Not every pretty lady fits all the criteria for the perfect, long term partner. And, very often there are a lot of compromises before settling on the perfect match. Everybody want somebody different. Some guys just want to marry their mother who will cook, clean and wet nurse them.

[andrewbkk]

I have never knowingly played around with another man's wife or girl friend, and never will. Conversely, I don't expect someone to be faithful to me either if I were to be romancing someone else. But, despite openly flirting with the ladies it does not mean I'm going to proceed any further with them, other than a few laughs at the bar. I'm actually a fairly faithful kind of guy and I never played around on either of my former two wives, and I don't have much respect for men that do. But that is for them to work out with their partner.

Bro -- you are a Rock Star. You are a WWF pro. You are an ace pitcher. You are the quarterback with the supermodel girlfriend.

If it's of any interest, SHE and I now enjoy a sort of "friends with benefits" arrangement. My son loves it when he sees me and HER together.

Enjoy your fishing, Khun Ian

[IanForbes]

I have never knowingly played around with another man's wife or girl friend, and never will. Conversely, I don't expect someone to be faithful to me either if I were to be romancing someone else. But, despite openly flirting with the ladies it does not mean I'm going to proceed any further with them, other than a few laughs at the bar. I'm actually a fairly faithful kind of guy and I never played around on either of my former two wives, and I don't have much respect for men that do. But that is for them to work out with their partner.

Bro -- you are a Rock Star. You are a WWF pro. You are an ace pitcher. You are the quarterback with the supermodel girlfriend.

If it's of any interest, SHE and I now enjoy a sort of "friends with benefits" arrangement. My son loves it when he sees me and HER together.

Enjoy your fishing, Khun Ian

I'm neither a rock star, a WWF pro, or an ace pitcher, and never was even in the best of my youthful days, but AM a friendly guy who seems to have luck with a few Thai women. I have no idea why other than I talk to anyone and everyone, and treat everyone with a friendly smile and a bit of respect. It seems to work.

And yes, i AM going to enjoy my fishing for the next 7 months. We had a great day yesterday and stuffed ourselves with fresh caught prawns last night.

[monkeystrong]

god i wish I hade your problems......

[manarak]

Not sure this thread can lead anywhere...

I think one remains a butterfly until he finds a perfect match.

That is true, but it can take a LOT of searching. Not every pretty lady fits all the criteria for the perfect, long term partner. And, very often there are a lot of compromises before settling on the perfect match. Everybody want somebody different. Some guys just want to marry their mother who will cook, clean and wet nurse them.

I tried the compromise thing already, and it didn't quite work out, but I got two children.

Now I aim for near perfection, nothing less.

[andrewbkk]

And yes, i AM going to enjoy my fishing for the next 7 months. We had a great day yesterday and stuffed ourselves with fresh caught prawns last night.

Wow!

There's actually a big difference between cold water seafood and warm water seafood.

Sure, the shrimps I eat here in BKK are good, but they're nowhere near as good as the Norwegian prawns I used to eat as a youngster.

Same with lobster. I've enjoyed many a good Lobster Thermidor here in Thailand; but they never have the same taste as a lobster freshly caught off the coast of Cornwall.

Eat well, Khun Ian. Stay fit. Stay healthy.

[siammcfarang]

Not sure this thread can lead anywhere...

I think one remains a butterfly until he finds a perfect match.

In general yes, but there are 100's of inveterate ( habitual, firmly established, deep - rooted, chronic, will never change, etc.) butterfles out there. LOS seems to breed them like monarchs in Mexico. It is a lifestyle, not my choice, but i would not presume to denigrate them. Many of them of course could never get away with it in farang land, for obvious reasons.

4 years ago i met one in Pattaya, a then 69 year old guy who claimed to have 10 gf's, the and LARGEST supply of Viiagra in LOS. He seemed ecstatic with his lot in life, and espoused it enthusiastically..

Pee sura sura, whatever will be will be..

[jazzbo]

First, you have to understand yourself ...

I am an enigma ... guess I'll have to start with second.

[zzaa09]

Faithful....

[nocturn]

I have never knowingly played around with another man's wife or girl friend, and never will. Conversely, I don't expect someone to be faithful to me either if I were to be romancing someone else. But, despite openly flirting with the ladies it does not mean I'm going to proceed any further with them, other than a few laughs at the bar. I'm actually a fairly faithful kind of guy and I never played around on either of my former two wives, and I don't have much respect for men that do. But that is for them to work out with their partner.

Bro -- you are a Rock Star. You are a WWF pro. You are an ace pitcher. You are the quarterback with the supermodel girlfriend.

If it's of any interest, SHE and I now enjoy a sort of "friends with benefits" arrangement. My son loves it when he sees me and HER together.

Enjoy your fishing, Khun Ian

I'm neither a rock star, a WWF pro, or an ace pitcher, and never was even in the best of my youthful days, but AM a friendly guy who seems to have luck with a few Thai women. I have no idea why other than I talk to anyone and everyone, and treat everyone with a friendly smile and a bit of respect. It seems to work.

And yes, i AM going to enjoy my fishing for the next 7 months. We had a great day yesterday and stuffed ourselves with fresh caught prawns last night.

By your own account you are an old git willing and able to pay through the nose. So, i guess you make your own "luck".

[nocturn]

Not sure this thread can lead anywhere...

I think one remains a butterfly until he finds a perfect match.

In general yes, but there are 100's of inveterate ( habitual, firmly established, deep - rooted, chronic, will never change, etc.) butterfles out there. LOS seems to breed them like monarchs in Mexico. It is a lifestyle, not my choice, but i would not presume to denigrate them. Many of them of course could never get away with it in farang land, for obvious reasons.

4 years ago i met one in Pattaya, a then 69 year old guy who claimed to have 10 gf's, the and LARGEST supply of Viiagra in LOS. He seemed ecstatic with his lot in life, and espoused it enthusiastically..

Pee sura sura, whatever will be will be..

interestingly, once you stop consorting with whores, the term "butterfly" vanishes from daily conversation

[JPPR2]

Honestly it all boils down to discipline, some self respect and values. I have no issue meeting women both here and when I lived in the US, I am just very disciplined and will not date someone unless my interest is peaked and that is not always a physical thing. Sure that is what initally draws you in but that wears off fast. I have dated some beauties that were the most self centered, shallowest, materialistic women I have ever met. The US is loaded with them. TRUST ME. What has been great so far is I have not personally witnessed that here yet but have read numerous horror stories.

My point being; Be cautious on the 'Beautiful" drug or 'Kid in a Candy Store". It might look good to the eye but have a HUGE impact on your wallet and a lot of drama. If you leave the great GF you have now because you found someone prettier you may end up on the short end of the stick. I think another thing that is very important whoever you meet, honesty is paramount. If you play games so will they. The truth stands alone. I have been very clear and honest up front. I have no intention of getting married, children are not going to happen but I will be monogamous and share unconditionally. I have an excellent relationship right now and an awesome GF. She loves what we have and we both appreciate each others life styles and are learning about our cultures. I do not need to fill an ego by dating 2, 3, or even 4 women besides the health risks by having multi partners. Just not my style, never was. Find the right one and get to know her. She may be your perfect match.

[IanForbes]

Not sure this thread can lead anywhere...

I think one remains a butterfly until he finds a perfect match.

In general yes, but there are 100's of inveterate ( habitual, firmly established, deep - rooted, chronic, will never change, etc.) butterfles out there. LOS seems to breed them like monarchs in Mexico. It is a lifestyle, not my choice, but i would not presume to denigrate them. Many of them of course could never get away with it in farang land, for obvious reasons.

4 years ago i met one in Pattaya, a then 69 year old guy who claimed to have 10 gf's, the and LARGEST supply of Viiagra in LOS. He seemed ecstatic with his lot in life, and espoused it enthusiastically..

Pee sura sura, whatever will be will be..

You are going to pay for it one way or another... either through pay as you go ladies or through loss of freedom when you are married with kids. I've HAD the long term relationships and know that I get more great sex than most married guys who have had relationships lasting longer than 5 years. But, It's all a personal choice. I wouldn't change a thing, BUT, I'm certainly glad I HAD the married life in the past. I have 2 great offspring and 3 lovely grandkids that I wouldn't have had, had I remained single as a young man.

And, I agree that I could NEVER have a life style like this in North America unless I was VERY wealthy and could afford the very expensive "escort" services available in most modern cities of North America or Europe. ..

interestingly, once you stop consorting with whores, the term "butterfly" vanishes from daily conversation

[tim armstrong]

I've lived here for almost 10 years, worked away from home for 2 years, done the Pattaya thing with mates, but, have never had sex with any woman other than my Thai wife, of 8 years. Sometimes while working away from home,the urge to stray was there. I used to go into a bar where the 35yr old+ but still attractive barmaid would become more attractive with each drink, as they do. I asked her one day if being a tad horny, I should stray. Her answer - 'do you love your wife'?

'Yes, very much' said I. 'Then don't do it' she replied. Maybe its that simple,(or not)?

[Thakkar]

As for myself I don't WANT a permanent relationship with more than the 3 ladies I already have.

And they say true love and fidelity are dead!

Edited April 8, 2011 by Thakkar

[jazzbo]

As for myself I don't WANT a permanent relationship with more than the 3 ladies I already have.

Permanent = 5 months per year

[IanForbes]

As for myself I don't WANT a permanent relationship with more than the 3 ladies I already have.

Permanent = 5 months per year

You took that out of context, Jazzbo. I know lots of happily married men who are away from their Thai wives for over 5 months of the year. If you included my whole reply you would note that I said I'm not married and never will be married again, even though I have a "working" arrangement with 3 different Thai women that can come and go as they please. I'm not adding any new ladies because I don't want to tell lies about what I'm doing when they aren't with me. I'm celibate when I'm in Canada because I refuse to get caught in the marriage trap. I don't need a "mommy" to look after me and I don't want to lie or lose my freedom either. Nor do I want to live in a sexless marriage with someone I don't find attractive. What other men do is entirely up to them and whatever arrangement they've worked out for their lives. I would hazard a guess that most elderly Thai men have a Mai Noi if they have the means to do so.